Singapore Salah Lah

Singapore Salah Lah: #Singaboy’s Survival Guide To Combating Floods, Train Breakdowns And Other Hullabaloos

Copyright © Panna CheeProduced in Singapore. All rights reserved.

No other part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

Published by A Singapore Printing House

For more information about the designer, visit www.coroflot/pannachee or www.issuu.com/pannachee

Mobile. +65 9839 4827 | Email. [email protected]

Nanyang Technological UniversitySchool Of Art, Design & Media (ADM)

Final Year Project AY2011/12Supervisor: Michael TanStudent/Designer: Panna CheeCopywriter: Piya Chee

For Every Singaporean

Guess Who?

It has been an eventful 2011. Flash flood or now known as “ponding” was (and still is) a constant headline hogger. Two watershed elections took place and set off remarkable discussion blaze on issues ranging from overcrowding of foreign workers to the incredible price of HDB flats. Being Singaporean had never been this ‘empowered’ to speak up for our situations or rights.

The magnified debates are in no small way credited to the prevalence of social media – Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and blogs. Retweets and reposting of Internet memes and the multiple salacious stories available on Online Citizen or Temasek Review sites roused a lot of attention and responses. Many of these generated more speculations, mockery and accusations.

While there is good degree of truth in the complaints and concerns, what have we done as citizens to make things better? Do we merely indulge in ‘self-shiok’ having vented our discontent? Aren’t we also part of the problem that we witnessed today?

We could right some of the wrongs. By taking some of the words we have put forth to action – through means of not merely complaining but also suggesting solutions, of not flaming but helping to clarify and understand issues, or better yet, of not wasting time trolling sites but joining in civic/social movements to volunteer our effort.

This project aims to provide a mirror for readers to take stock of themselves through satirical depiction of our reactions in ‘daily crises’.

It also strives to provide some interesting ideas on what can be done to better our situations without being all too political correct nor self-righteous.

Foreword

“... to provide a mirror for readers to take stock of themselves through satirical depiction of our reactions in ‘daily crises’.”

#Singaboy

The content of this book is based on recent events that have happened in Singapore. The usage of Singlish is intentional for flavour of expression and emphasis of this book as a Singaporean’s take on events concerning fellow Singaporeans.

Singlish is a unique Singaporean lingo. Its vocabulary is made up of words originating from English, Malay, Hokkien, Teochew, Cantonese and Tamil.

Look out for footnotes in subsequent pages for explanation of terms that seem quaintly English but not quite.

Meanwhile, here’s a quick list of some commonly used expression in the book.

TerminologyDisclaimer: Any inappropriate use of the words is not intentional. Any similarities to actual people, events or organisations are purely coincidental. Did I say believing this book is like believing cows can fly?

Terms

1. Singaboy 2. Salah; verb

3. Lah, Leh, Lor, Meh, Hor

4. SMRT

5. SBS Transit

6. Ah Tiong

7. FT

8. MPs

9. PAP

10.WP (Yellow Hammer)

11. Kiasu (Hokkien)

12. Kiasi (Hokkien)

Definition

Main character of the book

Malay word for Wrong or Incorrect

Used as a fullstop in a sentence with a punctuation effect

Singapore Mass Rapid Transit

Singapore Bus Service Provider

A Terminology for China Chinese in Singapore

Foreign Talent

Members of Parliament

People Action Party - The Main Political Party in Singapore

Workers’ Party - Opposition Political Party in Singapore

Afraid Of Losing (Considered To Be The Defining National Trait)

Afraid Of Death; Used to admonish someone for being cowardly

Hello everyone. I’m Singaboy, the titular character of this book. Alright that’s not really answering the question of who I am.

There’s nothing exceptional about me. As a true-blue Singaporean, I live it up by often finding issues in every issue. Honestly, I don’t read the newspapers much - we all know who they work for. I rely heavily on the power of social media for the latest updates, from following Facebook updates to latest tweets of news agencies, celebrities and friends.

I also enjoy reading blogs, forums and alternative political sites for...erm...alternative voices, obviously.

Alright this does not make me sound like I have depth, does it? Sorry to disappoint but if you spend some time with me through this book, we can perhaps exchange some views on the state of affair in Singapore.

I’m opinionated but that does not mean I am right. We can agree to disagree or you can join me to mock, laugh, reflect and perhaps, start doing something to make a difference in this small city called Singapore.

Who IsSingaboy?

D.O.B: 13/05/1986 | Age: 26 | sex: Male | Maritial Status: Single | Race: Chinese | Spoken LanguageS: English, ManDarin, Hokkien, Bahasa Melayu (Minimal) | Occupation: PART-TIME THINKER; FULL-TIME DREAMER

5 Defining TraitsOf Singaboy

Kiasu

Opinionated Politically-Apathetic

No Action, Talk OnlyStreet-Smart

Flash FloodPonning The FloodBeat-The-Flood GearImmediate Action During A Flood1

Fix What’s Really BrokenSingaboys Waiting For A LifetimeBeat-The-Breakdown GearImmediate Action When A Train BReakDown2

Who Doesn’t Like CurryWhy Dont’t Like my CurryBeat-The-Curry Smell Gear5 Reasons Why Curry Deserves The Respect3

Shame Shame‘The VitruVian’ Man: Why It’s A Bad IdeaNow You See It, Now You Don’tThe ‘New’ Code Of Ethics4

Some Spade Don’t AceA Day In The Office5 Bags For Different OccasionsHow To Become A Member Of Parliament5

Table Of Content

Quality Of Our ImportsThe ‘Control’ CentreWhat Our Foreign Talents Should LearnWhat We Like About Our Foreign Talents

The SingaBoy’s Trivia: 1. Knowing Your Singlish2. Guess Who, Don’t Sue3. Unofficial Singaporean Acronyms4. First Step To Becoming A MP5. The True Blue Singaporean Checklist6. Now You Know THem, Now YOu Don’t

6

8

ForewordTerminologyWho Is Singaboy?5 Defining Traits Of Singaboy

Cost Of Transport: ‘All Rise’Transport Heads-UpCheatcodes To Beat The HikeBe A cab-Fare Saver Pro7

The Lowdown #1

December 24, 2011 – Customers at the Starbucks outlet in Liat Towers were taken aback by a sudden waterfall on Friday afternoon, in a scene reminiscent of last year’s flash floods.

In less than five minutes, water gushed down the steps and into the basement coffee joint, the Wendy’s burger outlet next door, as well as the Massimo Dutti clothing store.

Though both automatic and manual flood barriers had been installed, they did not come up

in time to stop the waterworks, leaving shoppers to pick their way across chairs laid out as stepping stones, or wade through the knee-deep water.

Read the full report at http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIS-tory_748153.html

Flash Flood SpottedNews Flash #1

So, we found out that flash flood usually occurs if there is a prolonged heavy rain coinciding with high tide.

Heavy rainfall refers to rainfall with rates exceeding 50mm in an hour and affecting more than one-fifth of the island. More often than not, long-lasting heavy rainfall will result in a flash flood in low-lying areas with smaller or poorer drainage system.

Distinguishing flash floods from a regular flood can be measured

by the duration of which they last. Flash floods are those that don’t last more than 6 hours.

We call an area where water has been accumulated during a heavy rainfall, a flood.

Oh, now we know.

News Update Brought to you by The

Ponding Utilities Board

Flash Flood

02

Know It All:Flood Prone Hotspots In Singapore(1/2)

D01. Marina South Underpasses

D02. Shenton Way Boon Tat Street/ Boon Tat Link

D02. Craig Road Tanjong Pagar Road Junction

D02. Maxwell Road Tanjong Pagar Road Junction

D03. Tiong Bahru Road

D05. Alexandra Road Pasir Panjang Road Telok Blangah Road junction

D09. Orchard Road Scotts Road Junction

D10. Anak Bukit FlyoverD10. PIE (Bukit Timah Flyover) Towards

JurongD10. Cuscaden Road

Tomlinson Road Junction

D10. Orchard Road Claymore Drive Junction

D10. Napier Road Tanglin Road Junction

D10. Orchard Cuscaden Road Junction

D10. Cuscaden RoadD10. Harding RoadD10. Camp Road

Tanglin Road Junction

D11. Dunearn Road from Wilby Road to Blackmore Drive

D11. Merryn Road’s Slip Road towards PIED11. Sixth Ave

Bukit Timah Road junctionD11. Stevens CloseD11. Dunearn Road

(near College Green)D11. Coronation Road West

D12. Balestier Road near Prome Road

03

1. Ponning (Rhymes with ponding): A Singapore lingo which means Avoiding or Skipping

PONNING1 The

FLOOD

Flood Prone HotSpots In Singapore

COMBATINGFLASH FLOOD #1

All Information Is Provided By:The National Environmental Agency Of SingaporeVisit www.nea.gov.sg for more updated information.

Know It All:Flood Prone Hotspots In Singapore(2/2)

D12. Mandalay Road Minbu Road Junction

D14. Jalan Ismail/ Lorong SallehD14. Lorong MaricanD14. Lorong MelayuD14. Kampong AmpatD14. Upper Paya Lebar RoadD14. Jalan Turi

D16. Bedok North Ave 4

D17. PIE towards Airport after Bedok exit (7.5km)

D17. Tanah Merah Besar RdD17. Aviation Drive

D18. Tampines St 81 Tampines Ave 3 Junction

D18. Tampines Ave 12 near exit to TPE

D19. TPE below Punggol West Flyover

D20. Mayflower Ave Ang Mo Kio Ave 3 Junction

D20. Upper Thomson Road/ Jalan Keli

D22. Wan Lee RoadD22. PIE towards Jurong before Whitley

Road near 18.5km

D24. Tengah Flyover exit 35 toward KJE

D25. Mandai Road Woodlands Road Junction

D27. Marsiling Drive Admiralty Road Junction

D28. Western AvenueD28. Jalan Tari Zapin (near Jalan Kayu)

Part B

04

22

04 02

0106

03

0908

0715

1412

19

28

20

11

10

05

21

26

27

25

23

24

18

16

17

12

Area Map Of Singapore Divided Into 28 DistrictsE.G. D01. = District 01 = Areas Not Of Concern

05

Beat-The-Flood Gear#Singaboy’s Flood-Proof Kit

Stay Safe

Concerned that you may be trapped in a flood? Fear not, use our guide to stay safe.

Ziploc Your Phone

Just so you can text-away, without worrying about your phone getting spoilt.


Baby Float:For those embarassed to be seen with a big float

An Inflatable Float:Keep afloat, just in case you can’t swim.

06

Whistle:Let yourself be heard when you are in danger.

The Outfit

A Waterproof Shirt:AKA raincoat or poncho, you know? This stuff should make a fashionable comeback.

Long Black Pants:Keeps you warm and most importantly, it won’t be too obvious if it’s wet.

Striking Yellow Boots:Waterproof, and a real standout. Yes, this is Phua Chu Kang-inspired.

A Rock Solid Umbrella:Rock-solid = those that won’t turn upwards or any other ways when the wind blows hard and rough.

07

Social Media

1. Facebook

Update your status immediately in the event of a flood so your 1001 friends and family members can be on a look out.

Psst... In the event that your 3G network is not working, do consider the methods in the following page.

2. Twitter

Post live tweets to update your followers on the latest flood situation.

Immediate Action During A Flood


08

3. If All Else Fails

No way to beat the flood? Fret not. Just call the PUB 24-hour call centre hotline at 1800-284 6600 till you feel ‘shiok’ at being heard. However, we recommend that you start a “Fight Flood Club” to outbeat the PUB expert team in coming up with a faster solution. And where possible, involve the ‘Yellow Hammer’ as a mediator.

Stay Clear. Stay Dry

The Lowdown #2

December 16, 2011 – Unfamiliar scenes of chaos and confusion unfolded on Thursday night in train stations across central Singapore after the MRT network suffered what is likely to be the worst breakdown in its 24-year operating history.

Just before 7pm, thousands of commuters riding home during the evening rush hour were plunged into total darkness as trains on the North-South Line suddenly lost power and ground to a halt.

Many reported waiting for up to an hour in the stifling heat of

windowless carriages, where the air-conditioning had also failed, before eventually being rescued by SMRT staff. Some train windows were smashed to let in air.

Commuters then had to walk through the train tunnels to the nearest station in order to exit and find their way home.

Read the full report at http://www.straitstimes.com/The-Big-Story/The-Big-Story-3/Story/STIStory_745589.html

We are hard to please, aren’t we? Having worked tirelessly for more than 2 decades, the SMRT has not received a “Long-Service Award” from Singaporeans despite having a relatively good performance record.

And when a major hiccup happened, the whole nation unites in pointing finger at the company. So is this an issue of technical breakdown or is it more of a communication breakdown between the public and the organisation?

The responsibility for proper track maintenance cannot beshirked but commuters need to get the fact right - machines can break down too and perhaps a more pressing concern is to help the SMRT recognise a bigger priority. The priority on better communication with commuters, that is.

Period.

Fix What’s Really Broken

Train BreakDownNews Flash #2

10

11

At The Scene:Train BreakDown #1Singaboys Waiting For A Lifetime

Thank goodness the “Train Is Coming” jingle was a campaign of the past or the fiasco of SMRT’s breakdown would make the message sound like a bigger irony. Anyway, waiting for a train that never arrived is no fun at all even if we could do thumb-twiddling exercise on our smartphones.

NEXT TRAIN MINS

12

CombatingTrain BreakDown #2

Hand FanFan away the

annoyance. Didn’t you hear anger stems

from hot-headedness?

In the spirit of kiasuism, and in support for our total defence campaign, it pays to be always ready for unexpected emergencies such as being trapped in the MRT train. Here’s what we recommend.

The IpadThis is the best opportunity

to justify why you should invest in gadgets as such.

It’s not just a vainity want. There is a real need for it.

The Bible Or Other Religous Literature

Make peace. Stay in touch with your spiritual selves and the

world’s myriad problems shall not bother you.

Beat-The-BreakDown Gear#Singaboy’s Train-Breakdown Kit

13

The HammerWe heard SMRT’s hiding away all the hammers after someone stunted the doorbreak act. Fret not, just bring your own!

Portable TorchlightSee the light through the dark tunnel.

The Outfit

Shorts:For flexible movement and airiness

Singlet:No Sweat

Deodorant SprayBeing caught in stuffiness doesn’t mean you have to smell like it.

14

Queen’s “I Want to Break Free” cannot be more apt on the strategy we can take when one gets stuck in the train.

A. Always have a mini hammer on stand-by.

B. Take it out in stifling times.

C. Earmark a good spot on the MRT door.

D. Hit hammer on spot until broken. Make sure hole is big enough for you to climb out.

Follow these steps if your train broke down for more than 15-minutes:

Be Equipped - Emergency Hammer

15

CombatingTrain BreakDown #2Immediate Action When a Train BReakdown

“I want to break free yeah!”

The Lowdown #3

August 08, 2011 – A family, who had just moved here from China, had resorted to mediation because they could not stand the smell of curry that their Singaporean Indian neighbours would often cook.

The Indian family, who were mindful of their neighbour’s aversion, had already taken to closing their doors and windows whenever they cooked the dish, but this was not enough.

“They said: ‘Can you please do something? Can you don’t cook curry? Can you don’t eat curry?’,”

said Madam Marcellina Giam, a Community Mediation Centre mediator. But the Indian family stood firm. In the end, Mdm Giam got the Indian family to agree to cook curry only when the Chinese family was not home. In return, they wanted their Chinese neighbours to at least give their dish a try

Read the full report at http://www.sammyboy.com/showthread.php?98496-PRC-don-t-like-curry-smell-can-complain-to-authority

No Curry Day Announced?!News Flash #3

Fishhead curry, chicken curry and some prata... Oooooh la la! Forget the diet plan and let’s all curry the favour of our favourite Indian neighbours to share their kitchen’s best kept secret.

A dish so well-loved yet so taken for granted. Who knows its fame will reach a higher level when someone came along with their lofty high noses that cannot stand a whiff of the rich aroma?

And so we are now united by our love for food, achieving what the

government could not through national education.

Ahh...the quirks of the Singaporean life - all in the face against a common enemy to protect one of our unofficial national dishes.

Who Doesn’t Like Curry

18

At The Scene: The Curry Incident #1Why Don’t Like My Curry

19

CombatingThe Curry #2Beat-The- Curry Smell Gear#Singaboy’s Official Gas Kit

1

2

Combating ‘curry odour’ is like covering the pungent smell of durian - tough job! It’s much easier if dissidents learn to appreciate the smell as ‘aroma’. But in case it doesn’t work, a few of these tools may do the trick.

1. Tornado Fan

One of the most powerful fans currently in the market. Blow the smell in the direction of the neighbour you dislike.

2. Air Freshener

Alright we know how the smell of flowers and the ocean can be more inspiring than spicy curry.

3. The Gasmask

For the hardcore unconverted. Proven to work best among the the three listed here.

21

RespectingThe Curry #3

*News cuts from www.news.xin.msn.com

1. Origin Of Curry

Even though curry is generally categorised as an Indian dish these days, the earliest known recipe for meat in spicy sauce was discovered near Babylon in Mesopotamia, on a tablet printed in cuneiform text. This was way back in 1700 BC, and the dish was probably used as an offering to the god Marduk.

A plausible origin for the name of “curry”, may be from the Tamil word “karil” which means spiced sauces. Britain’s Pat Chapman of Curry Club fame suggested that it may have been derived from the Hindi words “karahi” or “karai”, meaning a wok-shaped cooking dish, or ‘the Tamil word, “kari” which is a seasonal sauce or stew. These indications point back to the idea that curry was first popularised by Indians.

One thing that all the experts seem to agree on is that the word, Curry, originates from In-dia and was adapted and adopted by the Brit-ish Raj, and was first used in British cuisine, to denote dishes of meat in a Western-style sauce flavored with curry powder.

With a history so rich, we have to salute curry for coming a long way.

Read more at www.menumagazine.co.uk/book/curryhistory.html

1. Curry Murder*

Ayakannu Marithamuthu was supposedly murdered on 12 December 1984 and his body cooked in a pot of curry at the Orchard Road Presbyterian Church where his wife worked.

Marithamuthu was described as an abusive father and husband, so much so that his wife Naragatha and her two brothers decided to take action.

The curry was said to have been placed in bags and disposed of across the island. Insufficient evidence meant that all three walked away free.The whole idea of cooking human meat in curry (among so many other dishes) is one serious respect for the dish. Don’t play play!

5 Reasons WHY CURRY Deserves Your Respect

23

3. The Fish-Head Curry Legend

An iconic Singapore dish, fish head curry was invented and made popular by an Indian restaurateur named Mr Gomez about 30years ago.

This pure Singapore creation, became a runaway hit that spread across the Causeway to Malaysia. It’s one curry dish that is not found in India.

Mama mia...yours truly, Singapore indeed.

4. Variation & Popularity

Curry is arguably one of the most ‘international’ dishes around and can be cooked in wide variety of ways - “wet” or “dry”, cooked with meat, poultry, fish, or shellfish, and even vegetables.

Throughout the past few centuries, colonisations, migrations, and trades, among other factors have brought curry to the world. Cultural influences infused with the dish helped to create curries unique to particular places.

Indian curry, Chinese curry, Japanese curry, Malay curry, Thai curry, British curry and so on... you name it, you got it!

5. The World’s Hottest Curry*

Indian Chef Vivek Singh, from The Cinnamon Club in London, used some of the world’s spiciest ingredients to make the ‘Bollywood Burner’, which set the new world record for the hottest curry.

Diners who are daring enough and interested in tasting the dish, are required to sign a disclaimer saying they are aware of the nature and risks involved with tasting the curry before eating it.

One of the ingredients that makes this dish the hottest curry ever includes the Naga pepper and its seeds which, on the Scoville scale that measures the piquancy of peppers, has a figure of 855,000 - over 100 times hotter than the jalapeno pepper.

Woah, this is some fiery affair. Beware!

*For the full report, visit www.worldrecordsacademy.org/food/hot-test_curry-world_record_set_by_Vivek_Singh_80298.htm

24

The Lowdown #4

September 29, 2011 – The advertisement featuring a topless man that is plastered on the Orchard shopfront of American fashion retailer Abercrombie & Fitch breaches the local advertising code of decency, said a watchdog.

The Advertising Standards Authority of Singapore (ASAS), which made the ruling, has called for the ad - put up after April - to be removed.

But there is a hitch - ASAS has no legal rights to enforce its decision. The picture of a model

wearing a pair of low-slung jeans, which spans the entire four-level shopfront, remains on display at the Knightsbridge mall in Orchard Road for now.

Some people who found the ad to be lewd and inappropriate for the prominent location wrote to The Straits Times’ Forum page last month, urging for it to be taken down.


Half-Naked ManPoster Taken Down

News Flash #4

The mantra ‘see no evil’ claims renewed meaning for a group of highbrow Singaporeans who were disgusted at the sight of naked torsos amid Orchard Road.

Oh maybe they are concerned that such distracting sight is a potential road hazard. Or maybe it’s simply embarassing to be caught drooling over hot bods.

With a nation so uptight, no wonder we are not making enough babies. And no wonder we ranked top from bottoms-up on that (in)famous Durex survey.

Now we all appreciate the importance of decency but surely, a PG-rated naughty thought won’t kill?SHAME SHAME

26

At The Scene:Covering UpThe ‘Vitruvian Man’ #1Why It’s A Bad Idea

27

Vitruvian Man

The Vitruvian Man, a world-renowned drawing created by Leonardo da Vinci circa 1487, depicts a male figure in two superimposed positions with his arms and legs apart and simultaneously inscribed in a circle and square.

The drawing is based on the correlations of ideal human proportions with geometry,

described by the ancient Roman architect Vitruvius. It represents a corner-stone of Leonardo’s attempts to relate man to nature, a blend of art and science, as he believed the workings of the human body to be an analogy for the workings of the universe.

Read more at:www.aiwaz.net/Leonardo/vitruvianman/

For those unattuned with artistic history, Leonardo da Vinci’s naked Vitruvian Man have sparked off imagination and thoughts which led to interesting explorations in fields such as medical and art. Now who says exposure is indecent?!

Vitruvian Singaboy

Science, when fused with art achieves a delicate balance to open eyes and minds.

28

The Cover-up

Cover-ups are stop-gap measures. See something you don’t like? Just make some noise and hope that someone will take it away or cover-up. But hey, how many times can we do this?

Perhaps, it makes better sense to open up our minds to allow our eyes to see ‘more’.

Cut along the paper model’s dotted line.

Place the paper model over the spot you find unsightly or wish to cover over the image seen on the right-hand page. That’s right, now you see it, now you don’t!

Instructions

ApplyingThe Cover-Up #2Now You See, Now You Don’t

29

Now really, it is of utmost importance that the Advertising Industry takes the views of Singaporeans seriously. After all, the industry exists because there are consumers to begin with!

To uphold the interest of Singapore and its people, all advertising industry practitioners shall hereby swear in the name of their talent to abide by the following:

The Advertising Industry’s Cover-Up #3The ‘New’ Code Of Ethics

31

1. All advertisements shall not subvert the shared values in Singapore’s society including:

(a) Nation before community and society above self;

(b) Family as the basic unit of society;

(c) Community support and respect for the individual;

(d) Consensus, not conflict;(e) Racial & religious harmony.

All advertisements should be decent, honest, and truthful. Models used should be dressed appropriately without any deliberate exposure of their body. Models must look average, like how most of us look like and have slightly rotund figure, like most of us do.

All advertisements should be prepared with a sense of responsibility to the consumer and society. Provocative visuals should be avoided at all times as they risk increasing the rate of accidents and divorces (for couples who have spouses with likelihood to cheat by stealing extra glances at those indecent pictures).

2. 3.

As provocative visuals in the likes of bare torsos and cleavages may cause unnecessary stirrings within selves (and thus the family, community and nation), they are to be avoided at all cost.

Any practitioner who fails to comply with the above will lose their ability to create and generate new ideas.

( )BDO Singapore( )atey ( )DB( )eo Burnett( )cCann Erickson( )aatchi & Saatchi( )gilvy & Mather( )BWA

Signed by:

32

The Lowdown #5

March 31, 2011 – Ms Tin Pei Ling’s first foray into the public eye as People’s Action Party’s youngest candidate has seen her at the receiving end of netizens’ criticisms.

Shortly after her introduction to the media, bloggers and websites have picked her apart, with the most harsh comments reserved for her young age, and allegations that she was fielded because of her husband’s position as principal private secretary to Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong.

Ms Tin, 27, is a senior associate at Ernst & Young Advisory. She has been serving in the grassroots for seven years and is expected to contest in the MacPherson ward in the Marine Parade group representation constituency (GRC) in the coming General Election.

Pictures from her Facebook account have also emerged, and show her posing with a Kate Spade shopping bag or on holiday with her husband.

Read the full report at http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Singapore/Story/A1Story20110331-271039.html

TPL Posted A New Photo Of Herself & Her Spade bag

News Flash #5

Thanks to a certain Ms Tin, also known as TPL in short, a branded handbag won more media coverage than it could ever bargain for in Singapore. That’s right. We are talking about the IT bag of GE2011, Kate Spade, which gained (unfortunate) limelight through a photo that went viral.

Now that the thunderstorm is over, the Lightning Party is still desperately trying its best to prove the worth of its ‘proud’ finds from last year. Just so we get things right, the issue’s nothing

to do with the bag. Singaporeans sure have ways of detracting from what really matters, thus clouding the already waning acuity of our leading party to think it’s us creating useless cacophony.

We want new capable voices – and this has to come from not just the politicians but also the average guy on street who gives feedback that has sense.

Some Spade Don’t Ace

34

At The Scene:Mp At Work #1A Day In The Office

A day at work: clearing emails, answering queries, meeting, checking on Facebook, and checking out the latest collection on Kate Spade.

Secretary To TheTin Pei Lin Office

35

Mp PreparingFor Work #25 Bags For Different OCcasionsGreat bags hold great substance. TPL sure understands this well enough. Learn from the best on using the right bag for the right occasion. The Work Bag

Sturdy with lots of space to hold all the very important documents, and perhaps a make-up pouch.

ThETin Pei LIng’s Collection

1

37

Bag You Bring To The Parliament

Conservative to convey a sense of groundedness and even astuteness.

The Bling-Bling One for Any Social Event

Subtly dressy without losing a touch of humility. Spacious to hold niceties exchanged at the social event.

Saturday Back At Work – Work & Play

Relaxed yet serious. The right balance for the new-age working class who see the world as one big playground.

Clutch for Meet The People Session

A small clutch to convey friendliness, and a deliberate move not to store home all the nitty-gritty you hear from the grounds.

2

4

3

5

In Case You Might Be Interested:(1) Kate Spade - New York Portfolio| (2) Kate Spade - Lisbon Triangular Duffle | (3) Kate Spade - Washington Mews Maryanne |

(4) Kate Spade Bixby Clutch | (5) Kate Spade - Sugar Hill Seraphine38

Working UpTo Be A MP #3How To GetTalent-Scouted As MpWe live in a land of meritrocracy. But still, it does not harm to know a few tips on how to get talent-scouted if you are keen in a political career. Don’t worry if you are lacking in some areas. Our nation’s talent-scouting system is not fool-proof, as we have found out. ;)

FiveSteps To Get You Spotted

1. Support Thy Party

Never bite the hands that feed you they say. Defend the stand of your preferred party in the face of any opposition. Never mind what folks on the grounds may say.

2. Wardrobe Of White

It’s the colour of purity and uprightness. And at times, hopeless innocence too.

Worthwhile investment indeed since white is an evergreen in the ever changing fashion world.

39

5. Frequently Post Photos of You & Your Branded Goods

Go on, share what you’ve got. That’s how you make it buzz of the town and get people excited.

3. Get ‘Engaged’ With Youth

Ability to connect with the youths is absolutely important. They are, after all, the pillars of Singapore in the near future. Gentle reminder though - ‘engaging’ is not merely going to youth forums or being on YouTube.

4. Find An Influential Partner

It’s not what you know but who you know that matters. Couldn’t be truer in realistic Singapore.

40

The Lowdown #6

February 22, 2012 – Singaporeans are up in arms over a foreign scholar’s derogatory comment that “there are more dogs than humans in Singapore”.

The Ministry of Education (MOE) scholar in question, Sun Xu from China, was referring to his unpleasant experience with Singaporeans as he brushed against them.

A rough translation of his Chinese blog post read: “It’s so annoying to have gangster Singapore uncles stare at you when you bump into them. There are more dogs than humans here in Singapore.”

His comment has outraged Singaporeans, who questioned MOE policies. Some have even called for Sun’s scholarship tobe revoked.

Singaporeans like Nanyang Technological University student Choy Chan Yuan feel that Sun’s comment was “unjustified, rude and ignorant”. Said the 24-year-old, “Why is our government paying him [Sun] to study here? How did he pass the selection process?”

Read the full report at http://www.sg.news.yahoo.com/blogs/singaporescene/poreans-outraged-over-prc-scholar-dog-072146916.html

Singaporeans outraged over PRC scholar’s

‘dog’ comment

News Flash #6

Singapore’s obsession with imported branded ranges across varying categories – from fashion to entertainment, and cars to talents. That’s right, we’re talking about a very privileged group called “foreign talents” a.k.a. expatriates and foreign scholars. In comparison to foreign workers who take on blue-collared jobs such as construction workers, the ‘talents’ enjoy a lot more advantages.

It’s important we clarify at this point that Singaporeans are really friendly people who welcome friends from other parts of the world though our shyness is often misread as being ‘rude’. The grouses were motivated by how our policy sometimes blindly provides unfair benefits to those who may not be deserving,

and they returned the favour taunting Singaporeans as ‘dogs’. Now that got the Singaporean ‘dogs’ really mad and naturally we reacted with the most befitting response – to bark. Sun Xu, a Ministry of Education scholar who mocked Singaporeans online certainly felt the brunt of the bark, which turned into a bite with part of his scholarship revoked.

Oh well, that’s what you need to deal with when many imports today are made in China. But Singaporeans, don’t take this as an endorsement that we have been right all the time. Good manners should be observed universally, no matter who you deal with.

Quality Of Our Imports

42

At The Scene:The ‘Control’ Centre #1The Quality Assurance Check

What Our Foreign Talents Should Learn #26 Lessons In Integration

1. Aim Your Piss & Sh*t Properly At The Toilet Bowl

The toilet bowl is designed for a specific reason - to hold your waste so why aim elsewhere?

5. Do Not Spit

A hard habit to shake but got rid of it we did. Now don’t pull us back from civilisation.

3. Do Not Steal Other People’s Husband

Some things can’t be shared, and this is one of those.

2. Do Not Use The Tissue Paper Others Use to ‘Chope’ Seats

It’s a tough fight for seats in Singapore and it’s an unwritten rule that we’ll respect all ‘chopes’. You should to.

4. Do Not Speak Loudly In Public

The whole world does not need to know your secrets or the (boring) details of your private life.

6. Do Not Jump Queue

We’re pride ourselves in queuing, even if they are for silly things. At least, this is our respect for order.

We know cultural assimilation can be challenging but for those who plan to call Singapore their second home, it makes perfect sense to be more culturally sensitive. We are uniquely Singapore, queer in our own ways but adorable too when we know we have friends in you.

*令: By Court Order | 禁止: Stop; Prohibited45

What We Like About Our Foreign Talents #36 Factors Why WE Still Like Them

3. No Stress for Babies

We suspect the government would have pushed us to pro-create more without foreign talents.

5. Property Boom

Our property is worth a lot more, Thanks to them. Keep a look out for your new neighbour.

1. 华语*, Cool

The melodious Mandarin (and other native languages they speak) makes us strive to speak better.

2. A True Global City

They make Singapore a truly globalised city.

6. Cuisine Melting Pot

They add on to our already very wide variety of cuisines. Enjoy authentic Chinese cuisines at a coffeeshop near you now.

4. The Dirty Jobs

We salute them for doing jobs that many Singaporeans shun away from.

Our foreign talent friends can be an interesting lot. Lest you think Singaporeans are biased, we do coexist well with many of these foreign talent friends. We share some of the reasons we love them too!

*华语: Mandarin47

The Lowdown #7

August 05, 2011 – The Public Transport Council has approved a 1 per cent increase in bus and train fares.

The rise, which translates roughly to two cents more per ride for adults using ezlink card, one cent more for senior citizens with concessionary cards, and 10 cents more for cash payments, will take effect on Oct 8.

The increase is timed to coincide with the opening of the rest of the Circle MRT Line, and is expected to affect nearly nine out of 10 commuters.

The quantum of the fare rise is less than half what the transport operators had applied for.

Even so, it comes at a time when commuter grouses about over-crowdedness, service disruptions, and unpredictable bus arrivals increase in frequency and intensity.

Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew has in recent weeks been trying to placate the public by promising higher service standards, and increased bus capacity.


Public TransPOrt Fares Hike Again

News Flash #7

Let’s face it. No one will ever be happy with rising cost. It doesn’t help that salaries somehow don’t rise as fast as all other things we are paying off. And just when we thought 2011 would pass by relatively unscathed in transport fare hike, commuters were caught with a surprise cab fare adjustment which made it in time for Christmas fanfare.

Of course, all fare adjustments were defended in the name of continuous provision of world-class transport. Also, let’s not forget that drivers for the

public transport system deserve salary increment too, which then explains the need for hikes of sorts.

That’s not all for transport cost. Singapore’s very own ‘Arc de Triomphe’ collects more money for use of road at particular hours around the island. Nothing wrong with ‘monuments’ charging for visits except that these arcs (or gantries as we call them) pale distinctly in artistic value as compared to the one in Paris.

Oh well.

Cost Of Transport:‘All Rise’

50

At The Scene:Transport Heads-Up #1Your Most Reliable Transport

51

CombatingTransport Hike #2Cheatcodes to Beat The Hike

3. Memory Lost

Claim you forgot to tap when you get off, report that you got off a few stops before the actual destination to claim fare difference.

5. Tag Along

Tag closely behind a train passenger to avoid paying. (Only do tt when there is no Station-master around)

1. Tap Early

Tap your card secretly 2 stops before your destination.

2. Only Coins

Pay with lots of coins, so the bus or taxi driver loses count.

6. Uniform Day

Wear your school uniform out and pay student fare.

4. Pity Points

Claim you lose your wallet after you have boarded the bus to claim pity points

It’s not a lost cause in cost-saving. You know the usual method - work out the best route on www.gothere.sg. Here, we recommend you some cheatcodes.

Disclaimer: As with all risky undertakings, using the cheatcodes may expose you to consequences such as penalty. Singaboy do not take any responsibility for any of these repercussions.

53

CombatingTransport Hike #3Be a Cab-fare Saver Pro

3. Stop Wisely

Stop near your destination, not at the destination.

5. gothere.sg

Check your fare at gothere.sg plus work out the best timing to take a cab.

1. Car Pooling

Identify someone you can car-pool with.

2. Cab Smart

We know the most expensive of all is really our cab fare which is tiered with hundreds other surcharges beyond our grasp at times. Be a smart cab passenger, adopt some smart practices.

6. Skip The Cab

Go out earlier, just so you won’t have to take a cab.

4. Out Of The Zone

Flag for cab after gantry or right at the outskirt of city areas.

We know the most expensive of all is really our cab fare which is tiered with hundreds other surcharges beyond our grasp at times. Be a smart cab passenger, adopt some smart practices

55

The Singaboy’s Trivia

Singaporeans are really a bunch of talented folks. Just a lil’ whiny perhaps but we certainly deserve the kudos of having a knack for creative political discourse. Before we draw a close on the hullaballoos of living the Singapore life, I leave you with these trivia that certify you as the true-blue Singaporeans Or not.

1. Knowing Your Singlish2. Guess Who, Don’t Sue3. Unofficial Singaporean Acronyms4. First Step To Becoming A MP5. The True Blue Singaporean Checklist6. Now You Know Them, Now You Don’t

Word Meaning When To Use

A001. Act; adjective

002. Arbo (Hokkien)

003. Ai Zai (Hokkien)

004. Alamak (Malay)

005. Ah Beng (Hokkien)

006. Ah Lian (Hokkien)

007. Ah Chek (Hokkien)

008. Ah Soh (Hokkien)

009. Ah Mor (Hokkien)

011. Atas (ah-tahs; Malay)

010. Arrow; adjective

“I know you did it, so don’t Act Blur!”“That’s disgusting, please don’t Act Cute!”

John: “Wear until so nice, going out for a date?”Mary: “Arbo!”

“The exam is not counted. Ai Zai!”

“Alamak! Why you do this sort of stupid thing?”

A Chinese guy or boy who speaks gutter hokkien and behaves in a unruly manner.

A Chinese woman or girl who speaks gutter hokkien and behaves in a unruly manner.

“Ah Chek, one black coffee.”

“Ah Soh, this packet of kang-kong how much?”

“This Ah Mor looks really hot.”

“Woah, you so Atas, only eat caviar.”

“Damn! I always got arrow to clean the toilet!”

To fail miserably at affecting a pose; Use with another adjective of your choice.

Of course; Duh

Exhortation to calm down

Expression of dismay, surprise or alarm

The unsophisticated Chinese boy; Street punk; Member of a gang

The female equivalent of an Ah Beng - The unsophisticated Chinese girl.

Uncle; A generic name used to address an older man

Auntie; A Generic name used to address an older (though not necessarily old) lady

Red-hair; English; A Pejorative term used to describe Caucasian

High Class

To delegate someone to perform a task, that is generally unpleasant or boring.

AKnowing Your SinglishTHE SINGLISH YOU MUST KNOW

Word Meaning Application

B012. Balik Kampong

(Malay)

013. Basket

014. Buay (Hokkien) Tahan (Malay)

015. Blur Like Sotong

016. Bodoh (Malay)

017. Boh (Hokkien) Boh Chup Boh Eng Boh Liao Boh Bian

018. Boleh (Malay)

C019. C.M.I

020. Catch No Ball

021. Cheem (Hokkien)

Used in the sense of “f**k off”, or most accurately, “go back where you came from.”

“Basket! I got fine for parking here illegally for 5 minutes!”

“He is so long-winder, sometimes I really buay tahan him!”

To describe someone who is extremely blur.

“John is a Bodoh, 1 plus 1 also don’t know.”

“He’s very Boh Chup about his work.””Go East Coast to swim? Boh Eng!”“This show you also watch, you really Boh Liao” “Boh Bian, too expensive, I am not buying.”

“You follow my intructions, sure boleh one.

“Is late, CMI, sorry!”

“His accent is so powderful, I completely catch no ball.”

“You study philosophy? Damn cheem!”

Return to the village

“Damn It”; An exclamation denoting frustration

Can’t; CannotWithstand; Tolerate

Very or extremely blur

Stupid; fool

No; Not; Un; When placed before any word, it turns it into the negativeNonchalant; relaxed; phlegmaticNot Free; To convey how busy you areNothing better to doCan’t do anything about it; No Choice

Possible; can

Acronym for “Cannot Make it”; An exclamation denoting resignation and despair.

Means to completely not understand

Profound; Intellectual.

B - C


022. Chum (Hokkien)

023. Char Bor (Hokkien)

024. Cheena

025. Chia Lat (Hokkien)

026. Chio (Hokkien) Chio Bu (Hokkien)

027. Chiong (Hokkien)

028. Chope

029. Chut Pattern

D030. Dao

031. Die Die

“Why are you so cham, every day got scolding from your teacher?”

“Look at the way she wears, so Cheena.”

“You forgot to file your income tax for 3 years? You damn Chia Lat”

“Both the dress and the salesgirl very chio leh.”

“Today after work, go where Chiong?”“Wow LV bag, Chiong one huh?”

“If we’re not at the theatre by 8, can you chope some seats for us?”

“So long never appear, now he wants borrow money, really Chut Pattern.”

“After he got the scholarship, he became dao.”

“I promise die die will pay you back tomorrow.

Pitifully disastrous

Woman; Female

A pejorative term used to describe a Chinese national; or to describe something or someone that feels Chinese

Used to denote being in trouble

Pretty; NicePretty Woman

1. To denote creating havoc and/or having fun2. Fake; pirated

To reserve or hold something for somebody

Hybrid term; Describes either someone revealing himself to be the swine he really is or someone is producing something extraordinary;Chut (Hokkien): “to come out”

Arrogant; haughty; Same meaning as “Ya Ya”

To go all out, with no possibility of non-compliance

C - DKnowing Your SinglishTHE SINGLISH YOU MUST KNOW


F032. Fatty Bom Bom

033. Fly Aeroplane

G034. Gabra

035. Gahmen

036. Garang (Malay)

037. Go Fly Kite

H038. Har?

039. Habis (Malay)

040. Half Past Six

041. Ha Na!

“Eat so much! You Fatty Bom Bom!”

“Tonight’s function is damn important, okay? Don’t Fly Aeroplane okay!”

“She a good athlete, but every track meet, somehow she gabra.”

“Why so Garang for? Nothing to fight for also”

“He knows that I am very busy, still ask me to do things. Ask him go fly kite!”

“Har?, what you just said again?”

“If your boss see you slacking, you sure Habis.”

“Why your company so Half Past Six one, this sort of easy thing also can mess-up.”

“Ha Na!, I got what you mean.”

To describe a fat person; Equivalent to the English “fatso”

To describe being stood up

To panic or be so nervous that things mess up

Singlish mispronunciation of “Government”

Fierce; Powerful; Impulsive; Courageous; Foolhardy; On the ball

Piss off; Buzz off

Contraction of “Could you please repeat that again?”; The equivalent of “What?”

Finished; End

To Describe something or someone as being half-baked or incompetent

Local exclamation meaning “Enough already!”; Often said in exasperation.

F - h


042. Hao Lian (Hokkien)

043. Heck Care

044. Heng (Hokkien)

045. Ho Say (Hokkien)

046. Horlan (Hokkien)

IIs It?

K047. Kai Kai (Hokkien)

048. Kan (Hokkien)

049. Kan Cheong (Hokkien)

050. Kana Sai (Hokkien)

051. Ka Po (Hokkien)

052. Kay Poh (Hokkien)

“Just because your work got published, no need to Hao Lian around here right?”

“This sort of serious thing, how can you be so Heck Care?”

“You damn Heng! How could you escape with such light punishment?”

“Ho Say, I just got promoted!”

“Horlan already! Now I don’t know where the hell are we at!”

“You got mail, Is It?”

“Come, let’s go Orchard Road Kai Kai.”

“Omg, he is so irritating, I gonna Kan him!”

“Don’t so Kan Cheong, we still have 2 hrs left.”

“Listen to him sing. His voice is Kana Sai.”

“Next time got freebies, can Ka Po one for me?”

“Why you go and kaypoh their business?”

Arrogant; Cocky; Smug; Can be used as a verb.

An expression used to describe someone as nonchalant or cavalier

Lucky; Fortunate; Usually said after having escaped a tight spot, or avoided a near miss

Denoting satisfaction; Enthusiastic endorsement

Used to denote finding oneself in a far-off place, or unexpected consequence, usually unpleasant

A phrase that’s tagged on to virtually any question; Used on its own to express skepticism

Literally translated as “walk-walk”

Scold; Screw

Nervous; Harried; Uptight

Not to be confused with Kena Sai; Like Shit

Steal; Pilfer

Busybody; Nosey Parker

H - KKnowing Your SinglishTHE SINGLISH YOU MUST KNOW


053. Kay Kiang (Hokkien)

054. Kayu (Malay)

055. Kelong (Malay)

056. Kena (Malay)

057. Keng (Hokkien)

058. Kilat (Hokkien)

059. Kio Tio (Hokkien)

060. Kope

061. Lan Lan (Hokkien)

062. Leh Ceh (Malay)

063. Lelong

064. Liao (Hokkien)

“Eh, this sort of thing better not kay kiang. Later something goes wrong, we die.”

“Referee kayu!”

“5-0 already?! The opposition team Kelong lah!”

“He kena scolded by the teacher.”

“Don’t keng leh, You so fit!”

“That CEO damn kilat one, no wonder he can smoke all the big bosses.”

“I found a $10 note on the garden floor, damn Kio Tio man!”

“Woah, where you kope all this stuff from?”

“The government say this and that, we Lan Lan also must do.”

“This online booking system is damn Leh Ceh!”

“Lelong, Lelong, 5 for one dollar!”

“Like that his business sure Liao lah.”

To act smart

Used to suggest stupidity.

To describe any form of cheating or corruption in any competition

Denotes that something has happened; Closest English approximation is “to get”.

To malinger or feign sickness

Polished; Shining; Used to denote someone or something that is impressively refined.

To have grabbed it; Stumbling upon good fortune or in some occasions bad fortune.

As in cope; To steal, usually something trifling; Similar in meaning to “stun”

Literally translated as “penis, penis”; Means to have no choice

Troublesome; Used to describe a laborious or irksome task or action

To sell off cheaply in a clearance sale.

To mean either “already” or “finished”

K - L


065. Lobang (Malay)

066. Loh Soh (Hokkien)

M067. Machiam (Malay)

068. Mai (Hokkien)

069. Makan (Malay)

070. Malu (Malay)

071. Mata (Malay)

N072. N.A.T.O

073. Na

074. Not Say I Say What

O075. Obiang

076. On (English)

“I’m looking for a job. If you have any lobang, let me know.”

“You very Loh Soh leh. This sort of simple thing also can talk so much.”

“This laksa taste Machiam like shit!”

“Mai like that, I warn you ah!”

“Let’s go to Katong for makan.”

“Malu Leh, why you wear until so funny?”

“Mata come already, faster run.”

“Don’t waste time with him, he always NATO.”

“Na, here is the money I owe you.”

“Not Say I Say What , but she looks ugly today without make-up”

“Check out his shirt! Super Obiang, man!”

“Play football tomorrow? On man!”

Literally meaning “hole”; Used under the context of “tip” or “opening” or “contacts”

Longwinded

A term of comparison; Equivalent to “like” in English; To add emphasis

Don’t; Don’t want

To Eat; Meal

Shame; Embarrassment; Loss of face

Police

Acronym for No Action, Talk Only

A short Singlish tag, used when something is given out; similar in sense to, “Here you are”

A very common way of prefacing a statement that could be controversial or sensitive.

To be embarrassingly out of fashion

An enthusiastic assent to saying yes; On the ball

L - OKnowing Your SinglishTHE SINGLISH YOU MUST KNOW


076. On The Ball

077. Orh

078. O.T.O.T

P079. Pai Seh (Hokkien)

080. Pak Tor (Hokkien)

081. Pakat (Malay)

082. Panchan (Malay)

083. Pao Toh (Hokkien)

084. Pasal (Malay)

085. Pattern More Than Badminton

086. Pek Chek (Hokkien)

“Johnny never leaves the office until 9. He’s damn on the ball, man.”

“Orh... so it’s behind your house, issit?”

“This assignment is not very urgent. You OTOT can already.

“This is the third time I’m borrowing money from you. Damn pai seh.”

“Hurry up, I got to go Pak Tok with my girl.”

“Now all the high-tech companies want to Pakat against Apple.”

“Poor thing, this time I Panchan you.”

“Which idiot Pao Toh to teacher that I carry handphone to school?

“This is my pasal, so don’t come and kay poh.”

“Ask him to do something, very difficult. He Pattern More Than Badminton.”

“Kena arrow this kind of job, damn Pek Chek!”

Someone who is excessively on top of things or is very hardworking and detail oriented.

Okay; “Oh, I see”

Acronym for Own Time Own Target; Meaning to perform a task at one’s discretion

Shy; To have a sense of shame; Can be used to express humility or embarrassment.

Going on a date

To conspire; To gang up against.

To give chance; To forgive

To snitch; Let the cat out of the bag.

Business - “that’s my business, not yours” rather than anything commercial

Phrase describing someone as extraordinarily complicated, or even devious

Denoting exasperation or frustration

0 - P

Knowing Your Singlish P - SWord Meaning Application

087. Pontang

088. Por (Hokkien)

089. Pum Chek

R090. Rojak (Malay)

S091. Sabo

092. Saman (Malay)

093. Sayang (Malay)

094. Shiok (Malay)

095. Si Beh (Hokkien)

096. Siam (Hokkien)

“There’s school today, but I decided to Pontang.”

“I know you want good marks, but don’t por the teacher until so obvious, can or not?”

“Pum Chek already, I was running around the office today.”

“This sort of multi-cultural event, ah, don’t plan properly will come out all rojak.”

“You better don’t Sabo me, I warn you!”

“You better not litter, later sure kena Saman!”

“I see them throw away so much food, I always feel damn sayang like that.”

“This laksa is damn Shiok!”

“Professor Lau’s class was Si Beh cheem.”

“I saw the boss coming, so I thought I’d better siam quickly.”

To skive

To carry; An act of sycophancy. Buttering someone up, or brown-nosing.

Flat Tire; Derived from a Malay mispronunciation of “puncture”; Use to describe very tired

A salad of mixed vegetables mix with sauce; To describe something as being either eclectic, or just plain messy.

Singlish contraction of “sabotage”. Used to cover instances of practical jokes and tricks to outright betrayal.

Summons; Can be used as a verb, meaning “to be fined”

Love; Used in most Singlish contexts in the same way as “what a pity”

A universal Singaporean expression denoting extreme pleasure or the highest quality

Very; Extremely

Get out of the way; Making oneself scarce or dodging a task.

THE SINGLISH YOU MUST KNOW

S - wWord Meaning Application

097. Sian (Hokkien)

098. Siao (Hokkien) Siao Liao

099. Si Mi Tai Chi (Hokkien)

099. Skali (Malay)

100. Suan (Chinese)

101. Suay (Hokkien)

T102. Tio (Hokkien)

103. Tolong (Malay)

U104. Ulu (Malay)

105. Up Lorry

W106. Wah Lan

Wah Lao (Hokkien)

“My job is damn sian, man.”

“Siao, you think I nothing better do?”“Siao Liao, I am late for work!”

“Si Mi Tai Chi, you called?”

“You everyday go to work damn late and leave so early. Skali your boss find out, how?”

“Take a look, he kena Suan in today’s paper.”

“Damn Suay today, kena bird shit on my head”

“You damn lucky, this number also can Tio 4D.”

“Tolong lah, can you help me with this?”

“Where are we now, so ulu?!”

“He never study for the test, sure Up Lorry.”

“Wah lan eh! How can you do this sort of thing to me?”

Adjective which conveys boredom, weariness, frustration and emptiness

Mad; CrazyUsed during a situation has gone badly wrong

Si Mi: What?; Tai Chi: Matter; Business

Used to convey a general cautionary sentiment with a hint of foreboding

To ridicule or insult someone.

Calamity; Catastrophe

English approximation is “got it!” or “correct!”

Help; Give me a break

Used to denote the remoteness of a place

A phrase to describe a very bad outcome

Loosely translated as “Oh Penis”; Used in much the same way as “oh my goodness” or “damn!”Polite variation of “Wah Lan”

Quote (a) “While Singaporeans are fully aware of potential trade-offs in policy, we should also be on guard against viewing trade-offs only from the Government’s perspective..... It seems to me that more often than not, the policy trade-off was biased against the people, especially those who are adversely affected.”

Quote (c) “Sure you can give the goodies or offsets, but why break a man’s leg and then give him clutches to wobble on”

WHO IS SAYING WHAT

Match Each Quote (a - f) To The Correct Politician 1/2

Quote (b) “We will help install power saving light bulbs for lower income families so they can save money”

Guess Who, DOn’t Sue

Lee Hsien Loong Lee Kuan Yew Vivian Balakrishnan

Tin Pei Ling Low Thia Khiang Tan Soo Khoon

2/2

Quote (e) “As far as I am concerned, PUB should not have used the word ‘ponding’. I call a spade a spade. A flood is a flood.”

Answer: (d) Lee Hsien Loong | (f) Lee Kuan Yew | (b) Tin Pei Ling | (e) Vivian Balakrishnan (a) Low Thia Khiang | (c) Tan Soo Khoon

Quote (f) “If Singapore depends on the talent it can produce out of 3 million people, it’s not going to punch above its weight....So you’ve got to accept the discomfort which the local citizens feel, that they are competing unequally for jobs. It cannot be helped.”

Quote (d)“Right now we have Low Thia Khiang, Chiam See Tong, Steve Chia. We can deal with them. Suppose you had 10, 15, 20 opposition members in Parliament. Instead of spending my time thinking what is the right policy for Singapore, I’m going to spend all my time thinking what’s the right way to fix them, to buy my supporters votes, how can I solve this week’s problem and forget about next year’s challenges?”

DBSCPFCOEERPEDBGSTHDBJTCLTAMRTMOEMASNUHOUBOCBCPOSBPUBPSIPSAPWDPAPSGHSDUSBSSAFUOB

Damn! Boh(No) SalaryCash Prior to FuneralSi Hor Yi (Die Give You)Everyday Rob PeopleEnough, Don’t BluffGo Squeeze ThemHighly Dangerous BuildingJokers Training CentreLong Tio Ah (Crash!)Mad Rush to TrainMuggers Only EnvironmentMust Always SufferNever Use HeartOwe Until BankruptOwe Cash, Boh CreditPurposely Owe Some BanksPay Until BrokePlease Stay IndoorsPoor Ships AheadPurposely Want to DigPay And PaySure Giveup HopeSingle, Desperate and UglyScrewed-up and Bad ServiceServe And ForgetYou Owe Bank

Development Bank of SingaporeCentral Provident FundCetificate of EntitlementElectronic Road PricingEconomic Development BoardGoods and Services TaxHousing Development BoardJurong Town CouncilLand Transport AuthorityMass Rapid TransitMinistry of EnvironmentMonetary Authority of SingaporeNational University HospitalOverseas Union BankOversea-Chinese Banking CorporationPost Office Savings BankPublic Utilities BoardPollution Safety IndexPort of Singapore AuthorityPublic Works DepartmentPeople’s Action PartySingapore General HospitalSocial Development UnitSingapore Bus ServiceSingapore Armed ForcesUnited Overseas Bank

WHAT IT REALLY MEANS

Unofficial Singaporean Acronyms

Full Credit To www.talkingcock.com

Acronym Actual Name Unofficial Definition

MAKING THE LEAP

First Step To bEComing A Mp

People’s Action Party (PAP)

Worker’s Party (WP)

National Solidarity Party (NSP)

Singapore Democratic Party (SDP)

Reform Party (RP)

Singapore People’s Party (SPP)

Singapore Democratic Alliance (SDA)

Tel: +65 6244 4600 | Fax: +65 6243 0114 Email : [email protected] | Website: www.pap.org.sg

Email: [email protected] |Website: www.wp.sg | [email protected]

Email: [email protected] |Website: www.nsp.sg

Email: [email protected] |Website: www.yoursdp.org.sg

Tel: +65 6534 9641 | Fax: +65 6534 9640Email: [email protected] |Website: ww.thereformparty.net

Email: [email protected] | Website: www.spp.org.sg

Tel: +65 6345 5275 | Fax: +65 6345 8724Email: [email protected]: www.sgda.org.sg

The leading political party in Singapore and the city-state’s ruling political party since 1959.

A centre-left opposition political party in Singapore. The party currently has 5 elected seats in Parliament, with 5 members serving as Members of Parliament for the Aljunied Group Representation Constituency.

An opposition political party in Singapore, formed in 1987. Joined the Singapore Democratic Alliance (SDA) political grouping in 2001, before withdrawing from the alliance in 2007.

An opposition political party in Singapore founded in 1980 by Chiam See Tong, and He was succeeded by Dr Chee Soon Juan in 1995. The party focused more on a liberal human rights agenda but has yet to secure parliamentary representation since 1997.

A Singapore political party founded in 2008 by the late Joshua Benjamin Jeyaretnam, and is currently headed by his son Kenneth Jeyaretnam.

A left-centre opposition political party in Singapore, headed by the party’s leader Chiam See Tong.

An alliance of political parties in Singapore, formed shortly before the 2001 General Election to provide a common grouping under which different opposition parties could stand as a united front in elections against the ruling the PAP. Founded by the leader of the SPP Chiam See Tong.

If Politics Is What You Want. Call Now To Find Out More.

A True Blue Singaporean ChecklistIDENTIFYING

My Name:

Hereby Declare That I...

1-5 Ticks: You Don’t Like Singapore | 6-12 Ticks: You have your complains for Singapore | 13-15 Ticks: All Blue Singaporean

Total Ticks:

Have The Innate Ability To Identity My Fellow Compatriot

Know How To Spot A Hawker Stall With The Best Food

Join A Queue Just To See What’s Going On

Never Leave My Lah, Lor, Leh, Har, Hor, Sia Behind

Wished That The Buses And Trains Are Always Empty

Feel Crippled Without Speaking Singlish For A Day

Find That The Best Thing About Singapore Is The Food F**king Want To Own A Car

Complain Just About Every Other Thing For About Every Other Day

Know How To Speak At Least 3 Languages (Including Dialect)

Love My Hawker Food Feel Proud About Changi Airport

Now You Know Them, Now You Don’tLOGO TWISTER

>>>

Disclaimer: Any reading of the symbolization in the following pages is entirely in the imagination of the readers. The author does not bear any responsibility for any (mis)interpretation.

Be Warned: Not For The Narrow-Minded

Re-aquaint yourselves with these familiar logos. Or are they still the same thing? ;)

0 0809196500 1

#sgpricetag“Scan carefully before you buy.”

#lightningrules“You can run but you can’t hide from the lightning.”

#chinesefusion“We may not be neighbours but we are one big family.”

#cheenasinga“Singa promotes courtesy and Mandarin speaking.”

#designgonewrong“It’s better to fly the flag high then to place it downunder.:

#runningoutofspace“Too big for one, too small

for a family.”

#New_Reservoir“Water-stressed Singapore

gets a new reservoir.”

#smell_the_curry“People at the mediation centre don’t stir sh*t. they

stir curry.”

#Train_Is_Not_Coming“When the MRT breaks down,

the world-class transport system breaks apart.”

#Eyes_Wide_Shut“Thou shall see no evil and

spout no nonsense.”

Singapore Salah Lah

Documents

Transcript of Singapore Salah Lah