the SINE ZINE Limited Edition, Vol. 1 No. 9

unlike the previous 8 editions of Sine Zine, I am not particularly excited to

publish this limited edition. The words are not mine, the subject matter

is dark and more than a little uncomfortable. But when I stumbled upon

the work of artist Amy Elkins while doing research for Sine Zine no. 8, I

broke into a cold sweat. Elkins’ chilling work demands a certain ac-

countability. Her subjects demand accountability through her art.

the Sine Zine started in 2013 as a radical polemic with a theological-

philosophical bent. At times it has been abstract to a fault, failing to

connect to many readers. This issue #9 is different. This is neither po-

lemic nor abstract. This simply, heartbreakingly, just is.

“last words” refers to the great state of texas’ department of criminal jus-

tice death row website. In 1976 texas reinstated capital punishment,

and carries on executions of men and women with a lethal cocktail of

drugs. (The work of filmmaker Werner Herzog explores this process in

detail, especially his 2011 documentary Into the Abyss.) As an inmate

waits on Death Row for her execution, the prosecutors, media and vari-

ous family are ushered into the viewing chambers. The team assembles,

and the inmate is brought into the execution chamber, often wearing a

diaper underneath her jail clothes. A short statement is read, she is

strapped to a gurney, and the team leader finally asks, “any last words?”

the offender says a few words as the first injection is initiated. Executees

often report it as painful, and sometimes struggle for long periods to

breath as they lay dying. A microphone hangs within inches of the con-

demned’s face, amplifying the sounds of her death in the next room.

Once the death is accomplished, the great state of texas then usually

transcribes the deceased’s last words and posts them on its website, in a

database form searchable by number, name, and so forth. Also posted

in the database are “offender briefs” which excitedly detail the criminal

acts allegedly* performed by the inmate. Sine Zine has chosen to pub-

lish the statements of the offenders by themselves, without accompany-

© 2014, collaborators: the texas department of criminal justice // published by “dogspeed you”

E.M. Knapp // all art by Amy Elkins, http://www.amyelkins.com/parting-words // no price //

free ///

theSineZine.blogspot.com

ing details of crimes that occurred an average of fifteen years prior to

the execution. These offender statements (and the killings that accom-

pany them) stand as their own separate entities in the moral order of

good and evil.

these “last words” are not light reading, and are not easily digestible. As

members of the public, however, it is you the readers who ultimately

hold responsibility for capital punishment. The point of capital punish-

ment is twofold: deterrence, and payback. These are accomplished by

means of violence and even of propaganda. Celebration of the last

several minutes of the decades-long process of execution is itself a

kind of petty psychological projection, giving the families of the victims

a chance to gloat over their revenge. Three million people, according

to texas internet authorities, accessed the death row database in 2013.

to do justice to the subject matter is not easy. Consumerism wants to

commoditize suffering as tabloid fodder. The state of texas also wants

to sell the suffering of its condemned — for different reasons, of

course. For our part, Sine Zine is not selling anything, and if you hap-

pen to have a feeling about your government’s use of retributive jus-

tice, killing, capital punishment — name it whatever you want — that

feeling belongs to you — and you can chose to act or not.

we all have to say our own last words at some point, and the eternal sym-

bol of capital punishment, the Cross, reminds us that death doesn’t

mean what we think it does. The rain falls, the sun shines on both

good and evil alike, and vengeance, (saith the lord,) is not for human

beings. We can’t be trusted with something like vengeance, because

we don’t understand it. For this reason and many others, “last words”

like those in this issue of Sine Zine should never be the last word.

— E.M. Knappenberger, Director and Executive Editor, 2014.

* Since 1973, more than 143 people have been exonerated and released from death row in

the US. Many more were likely innocent when they were killed.

the SINE ZINE Limited Edition, Vol. 1 No. 9

TCDJ #: 999337

Date: 21 JUN 2011

Yes, sir. I just want to say to all my supporters, family and friends; I love y'all and ap-

preciate y'all. To the ones representing me today, thank you for everything. The sys-

tem has failed me. This is a miscarriage of justice. There are people on death row that

need help.

I love my family. I love you too, Mom. I am alright. I asked the Lord to have mercy on

me and I hope He has mercy on these people carrying out this mass slaughter. They

have no respect for humanity. To Melanie, I never meant to hurt you. You were just in

the wrong place at the wrong time. I am not asking for your forgiveness. All I have to

worry about is God forgiving me. I hope you get better and for the doctors to contin-

ue to take care of you. Take care of my mother for me. To everybody, know that I

love you and I am OK.

Lord, have mercy on my soul. Lord, have mercy on my soul. Lord, have mercy on the-

se peoples' soul. Life is not supposed to end this way. No more pain and frustration.

When I knock at the gates, they will open up and let me in. To my mom and every-

body, I love you.

I can feel it right now. My life, my life.

TCDJ #: 999346

Date: 15 FEB 2011

First of all I would like to give my sincere apology to Amy's family. We caused a lot of

heartache, grief, pain and suffering, and I am sorry. I know it won't bring her back. I

would like to sing, I would like to sing for that person's dead. The old is gone. I am not

the same person that I used to be, that person is dead. It's up to you if you would find

it in your heart to forgive.

As for my family, I am sorry I let you down. I caused a lot of heartache, and I ask for

your forgiveness. I am not crying for myself, I am crying for the lost and those that are

dying for their sins, those that are committing suicide, those that don't know God and

have never been set free. I've been locked up 13 years. I am not locked up inside, all of

these years I have been free. Christ has changed me. Even though I have to die for my

mistake, he paid for mine by wages I could never pay. Here I am a big strong young-

ster, crying like a baby. I am man enough to show my emotions and I am sorry. I am

sorry for everything. I wish I could take it back, but I can't.

TCDJ #: 999337

Date: 21 JUN 2011

Yes, sir. I just want to say to all my supporters, family and friends; I love y'all and ap-

preciate y'all. To the ones representing me today, thank you for everything. The sys-

tem has failed me. This is a miscarriage of justice. There are people on death row that

need help.

I love my family. I love you too, Mom. I am alright. I asked the Lord to have mercy on

me and I hope He has mercy on these people carrying out this mass slaughter. They

have no respect for humanity. To Melanie, I never meant to hurt you. You were just in

the wrong place at the wrong time. I am not asking for your forgiveness. All I have to

worry about is God forgiving me. I hope you get better and for the doctors to contin-

ue to take care of you. Take care of my mother for me. To everybody, know that I

love you and I am OK.

Lord, have mercy on my soul. Lord, have mercy on my soul. Lord, have mercy on the-

se peoples' soul. Life is not supposed to end this way. No more pain and frustration.

When I knock at the gates, they will open up and let me in. To my mom and every-

body, I love you.

I can feel it right now. My life, my life.

TCDJ #: 999346

Date: 15 FEB 2011

First of all I would like to give my sincere apology to Amy's family. We caused a lot of

heartache, grief, pain and suffering, and I am sorry. I know it won't bring her back. I

would like to sing, I would like to sing for that person's dead. The old is gone. I am not

the same person that I used to be, that person is dead. It's up to you if you would find

it in your heart to forgive.

As for my family, I am sorry I let you down. I caused a lot of heartache, and I ask for

your forgiveness. I am not crying for myself, I am crying for the lost and those that are

dying for their sins, those that are committing suicide, those that don't know God and

have never been set free. I've been locked up 13 years. I am not locked up inside, all of

these years I have been free. Christ has changed me. Even though I have to die for my

mistake, he paid for mine by wages I could never pay. Here I am a big strong young-

ster, crying like a baby. I am man enough to show my emotions and I am sorry. I am

sorry for everything. I wish I could take it back, but I can't.

TCDJ #: 999350

Date: 15 MAY 2013

You clown police. You gonna stop with all that killing all these kids. You're gonna stop

killing innocent kids, murdering young kids. When I kill one or pop one, ya'll want to

kill me. God has a plan for everything. You hear? I love everyone that loves me. I ain't

got no love for anyone that don't love me.

TCDJ #: 999397

Date: 2 MAR 2010

Yes sir, I would like to ask forgiveness of the family. I have no reason for why I did it, I

don't understand why I did it. I hope that you can live the rest of your lives without

hate. I pray the Lord grant me forgiveness. All powerful and almighty Lord I commit

myself to thee, Amen.

TCDJ #: 634

Date: 22 APR 2008

I am sorry for what I did to your mom. It isn’t because I’m going to die. All my life I

have been locked up. I could never forgive what I done. I am sorry for all of you. I love

you all. Thank you for supporting me. I thank you for being kind to me when I was

small. Thank you, God.

All right.

TCDJ #: 999106

Date: 16 AUG 2001

For almost nine years I have thought about the death penalty, whether it is right or

wrong and I don't have any answers. But I don't think the world will be a better or

safer place without me. If you had wanted to punish me you would have killed me the

day after, instead of killing me now. You are not hurting me now. I have had time to

get ready, to tell my family goodbye, to get my life where it needed to be. It started

with a needle and it is ending with a needle. . .

TCDJ #: 999083

Date: 11 FEB 2004

Yes. I just want to say I am not sad today or bitter with anybody. Like I've said from

day one, I did not go in there and kill them - but I am no better than those that did.

Jesus is Lord.

TCDJ #: 999552

Date: 3 DEC 2013

I would like to tell the Canfield family I'm sorry; sorry for your loss. I wish I could take

it back, but I can't. I hope this gives you closure. I did not murder your loved one, it

was an accident. I didn't mean for it to happen. I take full responsibility. To my family,

we've talked earlier and you know I'm at peace. God is the ultimate judge, he knows

what happened. We talked earlier. I love all of y'all. I'm ready Warden.

TCDJ #: 999003

Date: 2 APR 1997

It was horrible and inexcusable for me to take the life of your loved one and to hurt

so many mentally and physically.

I am here because I took a life and killing is wrong by an individual and by the state,

and I am sorry we are here but if my death gives you peace and closure then this is all

worthwhile.

To all of my friends and family, I love you and I am going home.

TCDJ #: 802

Date: 21 NOV 1997

You all brought me here to be executed, not to make a speech. That’s it.

TCDJ #: 786

Date: 9 SEP 1997

Well, my friends in my heart, I’m ready.

TCDJ #: 640

Date: 22 MAY 1997

I would like to apologize for all of the hurt, pain and disappointment I caused to my

family and all my friends. I hope all the veterans and teenagers out there who have a

drug problem will get help. I hope the lord will forgive me of all of my sins. I thank Jack

and Kathy for being with me. I hope that those who support the Death Row inmates

will continue to work and maybe we can get this resolved and do away with the Death

Penalty. I hope this is a lot better place where I am going.

TCDJ #: 917

Date: 9 DEC 1997

A lot of people view what is happening here as evil, but I want you to know that I

found love and compassion here. The people who work here, I thank them for the

kindness they have shown me and I deeply appreciate all that has been done for me by

the people who work here. That’s all, Warden, I’m ready.

TCDJ #: 999119

Date: 9 MAY 2002

I pray that we all may learn to love and forgive so that we can have peace in the world.

It is with loving and forgiveness and living to learn to love and loving to live that we

can learn the power of forgiveness and learn to live as brothers and sisters on this

earth. Until then, this will continue to happen -- capital punishment; and if we don't

forgive, sooner or later we will all self-destruct. You need to open up your heart and

let God in.

I apologize for taking the life of your daughter and I know how much pain you must be

in because I saw my family today. And although my pain is not as deep as yours, I am

very sorry. Today, this does not bring you peace because this is not really the way.

We should forgive and love and I do apologize with all my heart and soul and I love

you and I know your spirit and God dwells within us and we are all one big family of

humanity; we must all learn to love and live together.

I will see you on the other side.

Thank you for your hospitality.

TCDJ #: 999083

Date: 11 FEB 2004

Yes. I just want to say I am not sad today or bitter with anybody. Like I've said from

day one, I did not go in there and kill them - but I am no better than those that did.

Jesus is Lord.

TCDJ #: 999552

Date: 3 DEC 2013

I would like to tell the Canfield family I'm sorry; sorry for your loss. I wish I could take

it back, but I can't. I hope this gives you closure. I did not murder your loved one, it

was an accident. I didn't mean for it to happen. I take full responsibility. To my family,

we've talked earlier and you know I'm at peace. God is the ultimate judge, he knows

what happened. We talked earlier. I love all of y'all. I'm ready Warden.

TCDJ #: 786

Date: 9 SEP 1997

Well, my friends in my heart, I’m ready.

TCDJ #: 999345

Date: 26 SEP 2013

I don't know if you remember back in 2000, you were happy the way it happened. You

were looking for me yourself and would have taken care of me yourself. I am glad it

happened this way. I wouldn't want to see you in my shoes. You would have probably

been here, not me. I wouldn't wish this on you. I hope this can bring some relief to

you and your family. I have no hate for you. Grandmother, Lilia, and Robert; have

hope for me. I am with God. Thanks for being with me and all of your love. Mom, take

care of my daughter. Many kisses, Mom. Robert don't forget what I told you, I hope

that this serves as an example for the youngsters. Think about it before you make a

bad decision. Let's go, Warden. I'm ready.

TCDJ #: 989

Date: 4 DEC 2003

Yes sir, I do. I would like to thank everybody for coming out tonight and celebrating

life. This is a celebration of life, not death. Through Jesus Christ, we have victory over

death. I would like to thank the Holy Father and Pope John Paul for their angelic bless-

ings and all the prayers and support. And thanks to Father (name unknown) and Guido

Todeschini for your love and support. I want to thank everybody around the world

and Father, let your will be done. I am going to keep this statement short. I love you

all. I am ready, Warden.

TCDJ #: 689

Date: 12 AUG 1998

As the ocean always returns to itself, love always returns to itself. So does conscious-

ness, always returns to itself. And I do so with love on my lips. May God bless all man-

kind.

TCDJ #: 999467

Date: 25 APR 2013

Life is death, death is life. I hope that someday this absurdity that humanity has come

to will come to and an end. Life is too short. I hope that anyone that has negative en-

ergy towards me will resolve that. Life is too short to harbor feelings of hatred and

anger. That's it.

TCDJ #: 999418

Date: 27 OCT 2011

Thank you, Jesus Christ. Thank you for your blessing. You are above the president.

And know it is you, Jesus Christ, that is performing this miracle in my life. Hallelujah,

Holy, Holy, Holy. For this reason I was born and raised. Thank you for this, my God is

a God of Salvation. Only through you, Jesus Christ, people will see that you're still on

the throne. Hallelujah, Holy, Holy, Holy. I invoke Your name. Thank you, Yahweh,

thank you Jesus Christ. Hallelujah, Amen. Thank you, Warden.

TCDJ #: 989

Date: 4 DEC 2003

Yes sir, I do. I would like to thank everybody for coming out tonight and celebrating

life. This is a celebration of life, not death. Through Jesus Christ, we have victory over

death. I would like to thank the Holy Father and Pope John Paul for their angelic bless-

ings and all the prayers and support. And thanks to Father (name unknown) and Guido

Todeschini for your love and support. I want to thank everybody around the world

and Father, let your will be done. I am going to keep this statement short. I love you

all. I am ready, Warden.

TCDJ #: 689

Date: 12 AUG 1998

As the ocean always returns to itself, love always returns to itself. So does conscious-

ness, always returns to itself. And I do so with love on my lips. May God bless all man-

kind.

TCDJ #: 999467

Date: 25 APR 2013

Life is death, death is life. I hope that someday this absurdity that humanity has come

to will come to and an end. Life is too short. I hope that anyone that has negative en-

ergy towards me will resolve that. Life is too short to harbor feelings of hatred and

anger. That's it.

TCDJ #: 999427

Date: 13 SEP 2011

You're not about to witness an execution, you are about to witness a murder. I am

strapped down for something Marcus Rhodes did. I never killed anybody, ever. I love

you, Mom. I love you, Tali. This is wrong. This whole thing is wrong. I can't believe you

are going to let Marcus Rhodes walk around free. Justice has let me down. Somebody

completely screwed this up. I love you too, Mom. Well Warden, if you are going to

murder someone, go ahead and do it. Pull the trigger. It's coming. I can feel it coming.

Goodbye.

TCDJ #: 999418

Date: 27 OCT 2011

Thank you, Jesus Christ. Thank you for your blessing. You are above the president.

And know it is you, Jesus Christ, that is performing this miracle in my life. Hallelujah,

Holy, Holy, Holy. For this reason I was born and raised. Thank you for this, my God is

a God of Salvation. Only through you, Jesus Christ, people will see that you're still on

the throne. Hallelujah, Holy, Holy, Holy. I invoke Your name. Thank you, Yahweh,

thank you Jesus Christ. Hallelujah, Amen. Thank you, Warden.

TCDJ #: 999435

Date: 97 MAR 2012

All I want to say is I'm innocent, I didn't kill my wife. Jack Leary shot my wife then her

dope dealer Guy Fernandez. Don't hold it against me, Bill. I swear to God I didn't kill

her. Go ahead and finish it off. You can taste it.

TCDJ #: 999421

Date: 10 OCT 2012

I'm an innocent man. I did not kill anyone. Ya'll are killing an innocent man. My left arm

is killing me. It hurts bad.

TCDJ #: 000612 Date: 15 JUN 2010

This offender declined to make a last statement.

TCDJ #: 999356

Date: 27 JUN 2006

Yes sir. I want to ask if it is in your heart to forgive me. You don't have to. I know I

allowed the devil to rule my life. I just ask you to forgive me and ask the Lord to for-

give me for allowing the devil to deceive me. I thank God for having patience with me.

I don't deserve to cause you pain. You did not deserve this. I deserve what I am get-

ting.

TCDJ #: 816

Date: 2 JUN 1997

Yes, I would like to praise Allah and I am praying to Allah. Allah is most gracious. I will

ask Allah for forgiveness because he created me and he will forgive me.

All of the brothers on the row stay strong.

TCDJ #: 999218

Date: 20 APR 2005

Yes sir, Warden Okay I've been hanging around this popsicle stand way too long. Be-

fore I leave, I want to tell you all. When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my

feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead. I'll see

you in Heaven someday. That's all Warden.

TCDJ #: 999395

Date: 27 OCT 2009

Yes I do. I know ya'lls pain, believe me I shed plenty of tears behind Carlos. Carlos was

my friend. I didn't murder him. This what is happening right now is an injustice. This

doesn't solve anything. This will not bring back Carlos. Ya'll fought real hard here to

prove my innocence. This is only the beginning. I love each and everyone dearly. Dre

My queen. I love you. Yaws, Junie I love yall. Stay strong, continue to fight. They are

fixing to pump my veins with a lethal drug the American Veterinary Association won't

even allow to be used on dogs. I say I am worse off than a dog. They want to kill me

for this; I am not the man that did this. Fight on. I will see ya'll again. That's all I can

say.

TCDJ #: 999356

Date: 27 JUN 2006

Yes sir. I want to ask if it is in your heart to forgive me. You don't have to. I know I

allowed the devil to rule my life. I just ask you to forgive me and ask the Lord to for-

give me for allowing the devil to deceive me. I thank God for having patience with me.

I don't deserve to cause you pain. You did not deserve this. I deserve what I am get-

ting.

TCDJ #: 999197

Date: 12 FEB 2009

The Polunsky dungeon should be compared with the Death Row Community as exist-

ing not living. Why do I say this, the Death Row is full of isolated hearts and sup-

pressed minds. We are filled with love looking for affection and a way to understand. I

am a Death Row resident of the Polunsky dungeon. Why does my heart ache. We

want pleasure love and satisfaction. It. The walls of darkness crushed in on me. Life

without meaning is life without purpose. But the solace within the Polunsky dungeon,

the unforgivesness within society, the church Pastors and Christians. It is terrifying.

Does anyone care or who I am. Can you feel me people. The Polunsky dungeon is

what I call the pit of hopelessness. The terrfying thing is the US is the only place, coun-

try that is the only civilized country that is free that says it will stop murder and ena-

ble justice. I ask each of you to lift up your voices to demand an end to the Death

Penalty. If we live, we live to the Lord. If we die we die to the Lord. Christ rose again,

in Jesus name. Bye Aunt Helen, Luise, Joanna and to all the rest of yall. You may pro-

ceed Warden. (began singing)

TCDJ #: 999344

Date: 16 JUN 2011

Yes, sir. Jennifer, I love you. Mom, I love you. Rick, take care of you. For all of you

people, I defended myself when I killed your family member. Prison is a bad place.

There was eight against me. I didn't set out to kill him. I am sorry that I killed him, but

he would not have been in prison if he was a saint. I hope ya'll understand that. I love

you, baby. I hope people understand the grave injustice by the state. There are 300

people on death row, and everyone is not a monster. Texas is carrying out a very in-

humane and injustice. It's not right to kill anybody just because I killed your people.

Everyone changes, right? Life is about experience and people change. I love you, Jen-

nifer. Mom, I love you and all my friends that I have known over the years that have

always been there for me. I am ready to teleport. I love you, baby. I hope you don't

find satisfaction in this, watching a human being die.

TCDJ #: 816

Date: 2 JUN 1997

Yes, I would like to praise Allah and I am praying to Allah. Allah is most gracious. I will

ask Allah for forgiveness because he created me and he will forgive me.

All of the brothers on the row stay strong.

TCDJ #: 999218

Date: 20 APR 2005

Yes sir, Warden Okay I've been hanging around this popsicle stand way too long. Be-

fore I leave, I want to tell you all. When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my

feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead. I'll see

you in Heaven someday. That's all Warden.

TCDJ #: 891

Date: 5 AUG 1999

I want you all to know I did not do this crime. I wanted to wait for a thirty day stay

for a DNA test so you know who did the crime.

TC

DJ #

: 999025

Dat

e: 24 O

CT

2012

To t

he v

ictim

's f

amily

, I am

sure

I k

now

that

I t

ook s

om

ebody

speci

al f

rom

ya'

ll. I

know

it

was

n't r

ight,

it w

as w

rong.

I w

ish I

could

giv

e it

bac

k, but

I know

I c

an't. If g

ivin

g m

y lif

e in r

etu

rn m

akes

it r

ight, s

o

be i

t. I

ask

that

ya'

ll fo

rgiv

e m

e.

I know

God f

org

ave m

e.

I know

He h

as f

org

iven m

e f

or

what

I d

id.

I

don't b

elie

ve t

hat

tak

ing

my

life w

ill s

olv

e a

nyt

hin

g. I

belie

ve t

hat

if

I w

as lock

ed u

p f

or

the r

est

of

my

life, th

at w

ould

be m

ore

of a

punis

hm

ent. T

o d

o t

his

is

sett

ing

me fre

e. G

od b

less

ya'

ll. I w

ish t

here

was

som

eth

ing

I co

uld

do.

Bern

ard,

than

k y

ou.

Bill

, th

anks

for

bein

g th

ere

for

me a

nd s

how

ing

me t

o t

he L

ord

. I

give

glo

ry t

o

God, I

belie

ve I

am

goin

g hom

e. I

love

my

fam

ily. I

love

eve

rybody.

I h

ave love

in m

y hear

t fo

r ya

'll a

nd

for

my

fam

ily, w

e'r

e a

ll vi

ctim

s behin

d w

hat

I d

id. I w

ish t

here

was

som

e o

ther

way

to s

how

I'm

sorr

y. I

hav

e a

pra

yer

that

me a

nd m

y w

ife h

ave c

om

e u

p w

ith t

hat

I'd

lik

e t

o s

ay.

God, hear

our

pra

yer.

We

wan

t to

giv

e t

han

ks

for

this

day

. I

can't d

o t

hat

pra

yer,

that

pra

yer

is n

ot

righ

t fo

r ya

'lls

fam

ily o

r m

y

fam

ily. Ple

ase forg

ive m

e. I lo

ve y

a'll.

OK

War

den, I am

read

y. I'm

goin

g hom

e. I lo

ve y

a'll.

I'm

feelin

g it.