Manifesto; SidNews Editor (Jack Snoddy)

As a team of three I’m sure, Danny, Harry and I will work very well together; we know each other intimately (some might say too intimately), spending a lot of time cracking generally crass but altogether thoroughly humorous jokes (lolsbury) and lacking a sense of maturity invaluable for any editor of SidNews. Hopefully it won’t be too difficult to translate such jovial antics into something (slightly) more coherent.

Jack: My writing background is relatively strong; I was one of the sixteen worldwide Young Foyle Poets of the year at 16, have been on the shortlist for 4/5 other national competitions (such as the Torbay and Ledbury Prizes), and have won other smaller regional and district writing competitions. I’m also reading English, so writing all the time is not exactly alien to me. This background I feel puts me in good stead for editing and writing SidNews.

Harry: So far I’ve spent my time at Cambridge desperately trying to make people laugh, so I will relish the opportunity to continue the struggle (Jack: ‘I’m afraid you’re fighting a losing battle mate’). At school I held the esteemed position of ‘Roving Reporter’ for the weekly paper, writing several riveting pieces on the improvement on school dinners and the Lord Mayors speech... Hopefully Sidney will present me with something slightly more…tabloid to get my teeth into.

Danny: Unfortunately I wasn’t able to write anything for the manifesto because I was busy lazing about in my silken pyjamas, so I’ve asked Harry and Jack to get something in for me, of course, as fellow editors, I trust them to portray me in an excellent light: Danny, the lumbering rugby man normally seen sprawling round the bar at closing hours, is the perfect bridge between Sidicious and SidGossip, there is nothing that goes down within the perimeters of this college that Danny doesn’t know about and thus he will prove an invaluable member of the team. Indeed, some have described him as “the eyes and ears of the Sidney community”, we describe him as the tits, arse and eye-candy of the SidNews team.

This leads us onto what we are aiming to achieve; we want to build on and develop the good work that SidNews already publishes, by increasing the size of the publication (anyone and everyone is welcome to send in articles), with a greater number of witticisms, gossip, and general Sidney “banter’’. Saying that, we want SidNews to be accessible to all, and won’t merely be producing a glorified Lad’s mag. We want to be a vessel to advertise any events organised by Sidneyites, as well as highlighting all the achievements of our home grown talent. Much like the recurrent incestuous relationships throughout the college, SidNews fundamentally aims to rip the world apart, whilst concurrently strengthening our bonds of brother and sisterhood. Signed:

………………………………….. (J. T. Snodsworthy)

………………………………….. (H. A. R. R. Y. Michell)

................................ (D. R. McEvoy)