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introDuCtion

You just never seem to have the time. But you are a Single Dad Superman.

You are not a new superhero; the title is more like a job description. You have the job, you have your kids, you have the job again, and no time for anything else. You are going nuts. How does one do it? Even Clark Kent had to work, though I wonder if Kal-El (Superman’s real, Kryptonian name) could handle being a single father. How do you juggle work, family, and home, and then find time for yourself? Impossible?

It doesn’t have to be.I am here to tell you that you can work in the job,

the family, and have time for your own full and rich life. In fact, you need to work yourself in or you will implode—financially, emotionally, and spiritually.

What good is that to your family? Do you really want your kids to be asking, “Daddy, why are you

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lying in the corner whimpering like a dog?” Not a good image. This state of being “overwhelmed” is the kryptonite of every Superhero Dad out there.

What about balance? Why not live a balanced life? There are dozens of books that promote life-work balance, but it’s all smoke and mirrors.

Balance is a myth.If there were balance between you, your kids, your

job, your health, your love life, and God, you would be at the gym two hours a day, picking up kids every day after school, and working only one hundred and eighty minutes a day. There is no balance in the amount of time between your superhero duties.

It has nothing to do with time.It is 100 percent about being present. Being

“present” is the way you access your super powers. You have no fear when you are present; you flow with life, let go of the past, and become strong from the abundance you attract and project. You even begin to have a type of X-ray vision; you find yourself able to see your future with increasing clarity. However, to clarify what I mean by being present, I want to share with you an experience I participated in a few years ago called the Landmark Forum.

The Landmark Forum is a unique teaching organization that helps us see what makes us blind. Fun, exciting, and collaborative, the Landmark Forum is not a lecture, motivational technique, or therapy, but a powerful, accelerated learning experience. It is guided dialogue between the instructor and the

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participants.It was not until I took a class at the Landmark Forum

that I realized it is not success that makes you happy, but rather happiness that makes you successful. It creates a focus that allows you to do what you thought impossible.

But perhaps more than anything else I learned through participation was what the Landmark Forum taught me about being present. To get a sense for what I mean by this, I’m going to ask you to participate in a short exercise. I want you to set this book down for just a second and close your eyes. If you are not in a quiet space, try to find one. If that is not possible, perhaps come back to this when there is quiet available.

Simply close your eyes and breath in and out slowly through your nose. As you are doing this, make yourself aware of your body. Get to know the feeling you are experiencing in your extremities, in your core, in your neck and back, and in your head. Notice if there are any pains or discomforts. Continue breathing in and out slowly for a few more seconds.

Then open your eyes. Notice everything around you. Notice the sounds and colors. Notice the smells and the temperature.

This comes very close to what I mean by being present. When you are present there is a focus that you ordinarily may not have because you’re constantly thinking about things. You may be wondering how you are going to perform at work today, or perhaps you are thinking about going to pick up the kids from

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the babysitter. All of these thoughts are important, no less, but they can serve as distractions. When our minds are preoccupied with other things that are not in our current view, we are not focusing on what is right in front of us. In order to be present in our lives we have to learn to reduce that chatter in our minds and turn our focus back to what is going on right in front of us at any give time. If you are on a date with a woman, you want to be present with her—instead of preoccupied with worries or concerns. When you are with your kids, you want to be present to all the wonderful things they are doing and saying, not thinking about how you are going to make your sales quotas. And, when you are at work, you want to be present at work, not thinking about last night’s outing with the boys.

So, being present is really about living in the present, moment by moment. It is only when we live in the moment that we can truly discover the happiness that lives inside us. It is only then that we can unearth the passion that is just waiting to see the light of day. It is that passion for life that will affect every aspect of your life, if you are so willing to let that happen.

I have built upon that simple idea of being present by adding a few ingredients that will assure you are always living from a place where you can positively affect the lives of your coworkers and clients, your family and offspring, and even your intimate relationships. It is a recipe for success that I like to call the PACT.