September 2013

Shofarthe magazine of finchley progressive synagogue

 

‘A Sweet New Year!’

Cover photograph: Decorating the Sukkah

Copy deadline is the 10th of each month. Please email all content to shofar@fps.org

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And so we come to the end of a long summer and a long

year. A new academic year starts, brimming with fresh

challenges as much as opportunities for many families.

And here, at FPS, we’re looking forward to a fresh new

year with all the hope and trepidation that the possibility

of a fresh start entails. I probably tend to become a

bit too introspective this time of year, as I review my

personal log book: where did I stop this year? What

could I have done better? Where – or who, have I failed? And, most importantly:

Where to next?

Our 60’s anniversary has been overwhelmingly positive. We had and

have much to celebrate. In this way, from all of us involved with Shofar, we

wish everyone a sweet and magical 5774, full of fresh new beginnings and

adventures – L’Shana Tova!

From the Editorpat lehner

Mazel tov to Sadie Westbury!

A big mazel tov to Sadie Westbury

on her 90th birthday back in

March. Sadie joined us when

North London closed and has

been sticking labels on our

envelopes for Shofar for years!

Sadie has 2 sons, 3 grandchildren

and 2 great-grandchildren.

And she still walks here from

her home in Finchley. Our

warmest congratulations to an

indispensable member our Shofar

team!

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rabbi rebecca qassim birk

This new year

As I write this Nelson Mandela lies dying.

He has been dying a long time, yet something

extraordinary emanates from Mandela’s

hospital room in Pretoria. What emanates is a

sense of him as a man beyond his physical body.

Mandela’s spiritual legacy hangs large, over

the hospital where he rests, over the nation of

South Africa and over the world.

This past summer when Barak Obama visited he

spoke of Mandela’s influence on him personally

and on the world we live in now. It’s an

extraordinary tribute for any individual to carry.

And Nelson Mandela carries a history of

incomprehensible fortitude, tenacity, faith and

above all patience. Incarceration of that length

requires a patience of almost superhuman

quality. The fact that he wasn’t superhuman

adds to his extraordinary legacy.

Hasidic Rabbi Zuzya of Hanipol is reported to

have said, with anxiety, (In Buber’s Tales of the

Hasidim) as he approached his death, “In the

coming world, they will not ask me: ‘Why were

you not Moses? They will ask me: ‘Why were

you not Zuzya?’”

So ditch the comparisons. But there is

something about death and legacy that raises

the question, what do I regret not having done

thus far in my life?

Rosh Hashanah and the season it ushers in is

a bold invitation to consider the way in which

we live. Not because these are our last days but

rather because they are the first: the first of the

rest of our lives.

It is never too late to be different and do differently. It is never too late to integrate the trials and

hardships of our lives and work them into something strengthening

now.

I have had a hard year, maybe others have too.

I am sure it wasn’t my first, nor will it be my

last, but these past months will inform and

instruct me as I enter this new year, with new

intentions, ambitions and hopes.

I wish you a strong and healthy year with the

capacity to reflect and grow.

From the Rabbi

The start of

the academic

year (coinciding

wonderfully with

Rosh Hashanah)

always seems

to be a time

of enthusiasm for good resolutions and

new projects which invariable dwindles by

November.

This year at FPS is different. The projects in hand

continue the 60th anniversary celebration. The

summer holiday has been a period of intense

endeavour for many of us working on these

events: the anniversary book with its wonderful

tales from our members is being prepared for

the designers; the fundraising dinner at the Royal Academy of Arts is to be enriched by

an online art auction; and the Generations Day is blossoming into the event of the

century. Additionally, the annual calendar is in

preparation, the building is being refurbished

room by room and the community continues to

flourish.

So much of this is underpinned by the effort of so many wonderful volunteers but we need more.

We are asking every physically fit member to

contribute something for community service

by way of security, hospitality (kiddushim)

or stewarding: look out for your rota slot

with the calendar mailing in September. In

addition, we welcome volunteers for one of

the many projects and activities that bring

people together and enable us to support one

another and those beyond FPS. Please ensure

that volunteering at FPS is among your plans

for 5774.

L’shanah tovah

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laura lassman

From the Chair

Succot 18 & 19 September

Do you have an allotment – or a friend that grows fruit?Please bring locally grown produce to share at Kiddush

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HIGH HOLYDAYSFPS Family Preparation Day leading into Selichot

Preparing for the Real Thing!Saturday 31st August 2013@ FPS

3.30-6.30pm bring a dish to share and RSVP pauline@fps.org

57742013

Meet RoshHashanah ReadyWith some practical and spiritual

warming up

Rosh Hashanah Cards, Honey Tasting, Cake

Making, Reflective readings, Tzizit key rings,

Yoga, New Ways for Apologies.

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The National big Iftar Project5_Layout 1 19/07/2013 09:43 Page 1

Andrea NarcinBSc (Hons), BA (Hons), PGCE

Personal Tutor Maths to GCSEFrench to GCSE

Primary School Teacher All subjectsCRB checked

Mobile: 07969 471522E-mail: andrea_narcin@yahoo.co.uk

Calling all KnittersWe are still looking for volunteer knit-ters for our mitzvah project for World Jewish Relief. You don’t have to be able to knit as we have several volunteers who would be happy to teach you! If anyone, man, woman or child is interested in joining in please contact Jo Dowling dowling.jo@gmail.com or 07976 352799. We can even supply the needles and the wool. Happy Knitting!

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The National big Iftar

As many of you will be aware, in June the

Bravanese Somali community, based in Muswell

Hill, lost their community centre in an arson

attack. An action aimed at victimising and

excluding a section of our society back-fired!

Within a short time representatives of FPS

joined with other communities, religious and

secular, to rally to the support of the Bravanese,

walking beside them, picnicking with them, and

offering alternative accommodation for their

services, community centre and educational

activities. On 25th July the Bravanese took the

occasion of the Big Iftar as an opportunity to

say ‘thank you’, and invite back many of their

supporters.

Kathy Harrington and I represented FPS, and

alongside guests from across the Christian,

Hindu and Jewish communities joined the

Bravanese as they broke their Ramadan fast

(including specially provided Kosher food!). The

“Big Iftar” has been held across the country, as

Muslim communities use the evening meal to

invite locals and build links across communities.

The Bravanese Somalis provided an emotional welcome; as one tearful speaker pointed out, the response to their misfortune has proved to them that they are truly included at the

core of their local community.

The government was represented by Eric Pickles

but the true importance of the evening was the

united support of the various groups that make

up the Finchley/Muswell Hill community. As I

walked back from the local synagogue which

has housed Iftar every night of Ramadan, I

reflected upon the multi-cultural, inter-faith

community that is Finchley.

andrea Narcin

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Beit Tefillahservices at fps

Wednesday 4 September Erev Rosh Hashanah

Thursday 5 September Rosh Hashanah

Friday 6 September Kabbalat Shabbat Service

Saturday 7 September Shabbat B’Yachad Service and Breakfast Shiur

Friday 12 September Kol Nidre Service

Saturday 13 September Yom Kippur Services

Wednesday 18 September Erev Sukkot Service

Thursday 19 September Sukkot Service

Friday 20 September Shabbat Resouled

Saturday 21 September Shabbat Service inc. Bar Mitzvah of Sam Andrews

Wednesday 25 September Erev Simchat Torah ServiceThursday 26 September Simchat Torah Service

Friday 27 September Kabbalat Shabbat Service

Saturday 28 September Shabbat Service inc. Bat Mitzvah of Noa Rees

services - september

saturday 7 september

8.45 am PAUL SILVER-MYER returns with

one of his thoughtful, insightful Shiurim:

“ANNIVERSARIES”FPS is 60: we have a colourful 60th anniversary

logo and are holding 60th Anniversary events

throughout the year, but so what? What is the

logic and meaning of anniversaries and why

does humankind place so much importance

in remembering them each year? Do they

comfort us or do they perhaps restrict us? Do

we regress to the past or do they in fact help us

move forward towards the future? In this shiur,

deliberately timed to coincide with the New

Year 5774, we shall look at the Jewish attitude

to anniversaries and the role played by the

number 60 in the Bible.

Please join us for this once in a ‘three score

years’ event!

saturday 6 OCTOBER8.45 am RABBI GRISHA ABRAMOVICH “WHAT ARE THE THREE MAJOR THINGS THE

FORMER SOVIET UNION JEWS CAN LEARN FROM

THE UK JEWS – AND WHY JUST THREE?”

Rabbi Grisha Abramovich, a native of Belarus,

graduated from Leo Baeck College in 2003.

He serves all the 13 Jewish Progressive

communities in Belarus including our twinned

community Keshet in Mogilev.

FPS BREAKFAST SHIUR

congratulations & mazal tov

To Jasmine and Tom Horna on the birth of

their new baby Hugo

To Lorna and Harry Roberts who celebrated

their 68th wedding anniversary

To Margot and Aaron Katz who celebrated

their 40th wedding anniversary

To Rabbi Dr Frank Hellner and Valerie

Boyd-Hellner who celebrated their Silver

anniversary

To Sharon & Paul Silver-Myer who also

celebrated their Silver anniversary

To Noa Rees on her Bat Mitzvah

And to Samuel Andrews on his Bar Mitzvah

Mazeltov to all!

Many members are celebrating important

life milestones by hosting and accepting a

mitzvah at a Shabbat service. If you have a

celebration you would like to share with the

community please contact the office.

our sincerest condolences

To Hannah Grossmith Dwek on the death of

her mother Victoria (Vikki) Slowe. We wish

Hannah her husband Paul, daughters Chloe

and Amy father Martin and sister Emily

strength and comfort at this difficult time

To the family of Diana King, we wish Diana’s

sons Mark and Peter and their families

strength and comfort at this difficult time

We wish the family long life.

a warm welcome to new members

Zuzana and Richard Philip with Ella and Lucy

Helene Dane

Please contact the office if you need a

hospital visit, or equally, if you would like to

become involved in supporting activities.

yahrzeit list

If you want to be reminded of an upcoming

Yahrzeit, contact the office.

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people

FPS BREAKFAST SHIUR

Beit KnessetDiana King obituary

It’s a strange phenomenon that going to a

community funeral allows fellow members

who are not intimates to get to know more

about the person who had died than they did

when that person was alive.

We all saw and greeted Diana King, who died

in July, Shabbat after Shabbat. Some of us

knew her story, that she was a Viennese girl

who, aged 15, came to London as part of

the Kindertransport, and that, like so many

others, she never saw her parents again.

Diana was a quiet woman, devoted to the

Synagogue and taking as great a part in the

community as she was able. She came to

Café Thursday whenever she could. She

was a regular member of the Book Group

and only when she was unwell – or when

her taxi did not turn up - did she miss a

meeting.

At her funeral we learned about her

love of cooking, naturally Viennese, her

wild garden, and above all, her strong

individuality. What we saw in the

congregation was a self-effacing woman

who might have been surprised by the

large number of FPS people who came to

say goodbye.

Sheila King Lassman

adult study

Our popular Thursday evening program returns

after the High Holy Days

Hebrew/Delving into Judaism: A Course to

Refresh and Illuminate Judaism

PILATES AT FPS

Please contact the office or Adrian Lister on

adrianlister@blueyonder.co.uk or 07966 222953

(evenings preferred)

cafe ivriah

Returns September 21

Shabbat mornings, from 9.30amAn informal lively discussion over coffee for

Ivriah parents & others

Lunch and Learn returns Wednesday 25

September

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learning at fps

Beit Midrash

Mitzvah day is here again!

Your chance to do a good deed and help others. Last year we baked, dug, planted, painted and made music!

What have we got for this year?

Mark 17th November in your diaries!

Winners of the 50/50 in June1st Leon Pilpel £30

2nd Paul Lichtenstern £20

3rd Ann Pelham £15

Winners of the 50/50 draw in July1st Paul Lichtenstern £30

2nd Ella Golan £20

3rd Leon Pilpel £15

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Arts at FPS

6 October | On the Waterfront (1954)

considered one of the most powerful films

ever to come out of Hollywood. Based on

New York Sun reporter’s Pulitzer Prize winning

exposé of crime and corruption. Directed

by Elia Kazan, starring Marlon Brando, Lee

J. Cobb and Rod Steiger, scored by Leonard

Bernstein. Winner of eight Academy Awards,

including Best Picture, Best Actor, Best

Supporting Actress and Best Director.

3 November | My Father My Lord (2007) is an

intimate and deeply disturbing story of the

conflict between a father’s love and his deep

devotion to religion. A respected Orthodox

Rabbi dotes on his only son but when the

The Screen On The Grove 7.30Pm

father’s all-consuming obsession with observing

religious ritual leads to tragedy, his previously

subservient wife rages against both her

husband and God. A dramatic retelling of the

story of Abraham and Isaac with a devastating

twist.

Beit Knesset

what’s happening at fps

cafe thursday

Thursdays @12.45pm / £6

Contact Nicky Marzell at the synagogue office

yoga

Mondays @7.oopmTuesdays @7.30pm Contact Richard on 020 8349 9602

film club

Sunday 6 October @7.30pm, ‘On the Waterfront’. For details please see page 11.

book club

The Book Club Meetings are held in people’s homes, 7.30pm on the second Wednesday of each month. Contact sheilakl@waitrose.com if you’d like to join

bridge group

Mondays @7.45pm / £4

Contact Gunter Lawson on 020 8346 5208

rosh chodesh group

Celebration of the new moon by women

gathering for learning and spiritual exploration

over a glass of wine.

September: no meeting (Rosh Hashana)

Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan: Thursday 3 OctoberRosh Chodesh Kislev: Monday 4 NovemberTopics TBA – contact the office for more details

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Aging Parents I have been a member of FPS since my daughter

Tiffany was tiny – she’s now 22 – and Rabbi

Rebecca asked me recently what I’m up to these

days.

After working for many years for a major

pharmaceutical company I decided to reinvent

myself as a personal and business coach,

something I’ve always wanted to do. I now

support anyone experiencing change, particu-

larly those worried about ageing parents.

Looking after family is very important in the

Jewish community. People are living longer,

sometimes with dementia or other illnesses,

and caring for the elderly can be difficult and

stressful. When our parents get older we can

become ‘mother or father to our own mother

or father’ and we face a bewildering array of

practical and emotional issues, like:

Can I keep my parent(s) safe and well in their

own home?

Why do I feel so guilty, angry, sad, resentful?

What to do when everyone is arguing about

what’s best?

How do I start that difficult conversation

when the older person won’t talk about it?

Sometimes, but not always, clients are women

from the ‘sandwich generation’ looking after

teenage children as well as worrying about

ageing parents. Sadly, my own mother has de-

mentia so I’m very aware of the kinds of issues

that can arise. As a coach I listen, support and

guide without judging. There are often no easy

answers but thinking about problems before

they arise is better than hoping they will go

away or waiting for a crisis when everything

has to be done in a rush. If anyone would like to know more, do feel free to contact me for a confidential chat or take a look at my website

http://www.lesleytrenner-changecoach.co.uk

Inreach/Outreach This more modern title for the old membership

committee of FPS demands time and thought.

It has to be central to the future of the

congregation.Presently, several of us in the

community are finding ways in which members

can be helped, should they so wish, to become

more integrated in communal affairs - In/reach;

as well as attracting new members - Out/reach.

We need to move forward, seeking external

advice and experience where appropriate,

adopting a strategy for membership and finding

ways to welcome and retain new members into

the congregation. How do we try to attract

them? Possibly through personal introduction;

maybe by hosting an open day, advertising in

the local press or wider media and highlighting

our strengths such as Ivriah, Shabbat Resouled,

our music in general and so on. We are also

exploring social media such as Facebook and

networking and Rabbi Rebecca is actively

engaged in finding creative solutions. Inevita-

bly, a congregation also loses members, and

therefore the need to secure and retain new

members is evident for a thriving community.

Once a member joins the congregation it is felt

that a system of monitoring might be

appropriate, perhaps through the careful in-

troduction of a buddy system. The involvement

of new members needs to be addressed.

We have also considered the use and funding

of the building itself, and we are considering

the possibility and implications of running a

nursery.Hugh Isaacs

Lesley Trenner

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Visit to Beth Shalom

27 October 2013

Beth Shalom is the only dedicated Holocaust

Museum and Education Centre in the UK.

The Centre provides an exhibition of human

and personal perspectives of the Holocaust,

focussing on Jewish life in Europe before

World War II, the rise of National Socialism,

the Holocaust, survival and post-war justice.

On 27 October we shall be privileged to hear a

well-known survivor who will relate his story.

Such remarkable people will not be with us for

ever so I urge you to take this moving historic

opportunity.

There will be an opportunity to explore the

Centre’s beautifully landscaped memorial

gardens, the rose gardens and the space for

reflection. There is a bookshop and a coffee

shop as well as an extensive library which

can be accessed by appointment.

I have booked a coach to meet the FPS party

at Finchley Vue and bring us back there later

in the day. Full details are on the separate

booking form or can be obtained from FPS

office.

Corinne Oppenheimer

THOSE WERE THE DAYS!!!

When I saw the first issue of the FPS

Newsletter my mind went back to the 60ies

when my husband, Werner, and I were the

editors of the Finchley Liberal Synagogue’s

newsletter.

Not for us, the modern press-button machine

we knew nothing about computers. We did,

of course, have to do what is done today in

the way of chasing up articles etc. but it was

after we had received those that the real work

began.

First I set and typed it all out on a foolscap-

sized paper before Werner corrected and

edited it. I then transferred it onto a sheet of

waxed paper with cut-out stencils at the top.

Typewriters were able to by-pass the ink-tape

so that the letters cut into the wax. Back

then every office had a Gestetner Machine.

We would take turns to turn the handle

which started the roller. Each turn delivered

one printed sheet - imagine the time this

took! We then folded them and put them

into envelopes with help from our two young

daughters who still remember “helping”.

Eventually the synagogue invested in the

modern electric Gestetner which made

things much easier.

This must all seem horrific to modern

computer buffs but we thoroughly enjoyed it

and we all had lots of fun.

Tessa samson

Why do I feel so guilty, angry, sad, resentful?

What to do when everyone is arguing about

what’s best?

How do I start that difficult conversation

when the older person won’t talk about it?

Sometimes, but not always, clients are women

from the ‘sandwich generation’ looking after

teenage children as well as worrying about

ageing parents. Sadly, my own mother has de-

mentia so I’m very aware of the kinds of issues

that can arise. As a coach I listen, support and

guide without judging. There are often no easy

answers but thinking about problems before

they arise is better than hoping they will go

away or waiting for a crisis when everything

has to be done in a rush. If anyone would like to know more, do feel free to contact me for a confidential chat or take a look at my website

http://www.lesleytrenner-changecoach.co.uk

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MOSAICNaomi Sleig, a mosaic artist, will be

working throughout the community

in the next few weeks to turn our

ideas and memories into “fruit of

symbols” using fragments of our

memorabilia to add to a stain glass

tree which will be consecrated at

the Generations Day.

Generations Day6 October from 3pm-6pm

The whole community is gathering for a day to remember!

Stalls: Games through the decades

Raffle and tombolaVintage stuff

ZorbingFPS bake off

Memory BoardQuiz

Food and drinkFalafel stall

Chocolate fountainsTea and cake

learnreflectquestionexperiencedebateexplorediscover

Book on line: www.ljcc.org.ukMichelle Hyer, Course Director 0208 457 5028melton@ljcc.org.uk

Discover for yourself Melton’s unique and interactive approach to adult Jewish learning. Join others from across the community once a week for 2 hours on our 30 week programme. Share the excitement of being guided through original texts both ancient and modern on Festivals and Life Cycles, Jewish History and Ethics. No exams, no Hebrew necessary. From Jewish studies novice to the experienced, the multi-layered course is designed to educate and stimulate debate.

Monday mornings 9.45am-12noon or Mondays evenings 7.30pm-9.45pmat the London Jewish Cultural Centre

A big welcome to our new head teacher Adele Silk – interview in next Shofar!

Ivriah term starts 21 September at 9.30am

FPS Youth ClubReturns in October

Jam-packed program, watch this space!

Dance groupStarts21 September

Rikud

Contact Denny Kingston on 0208 482 2149

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Contactsfps who’s who

finchley progressive synagogue

54 Hutton Grove N12 8DR

www.fps.org

020 8446 4063

Charity Number: 1071040

Rabbi: Rebecca Qassim Birk

rabbi@fps.org / 07939 227480

Emeritus Rabbi: Dr Frank Hellner

Synagogue Manager: Pauline Gusack

pauline@fps.org

Community Manager: Angela Wharton

angela@fps.org

executive

Chair: Laura Lassman

chair@fps.org / 07957 545 569

Treasurer: Martin Silk

020 7435 5572

Honorary Secretary: Joan Shopper

01582 792959

Board of Deputies Reps: Stanley Volk

& Janet Tresman

Life President: Clive Winston

President: Sheila King Lassman

synagogue committees & groups:

Beit Midrash (Education): Co-ordinated

by Laura Lassman. Working groups with

responsibility for Ivriah; Young families; Adult

Education; Youth Club

Beit Tefillah (Rites & Practices): Co-ordinated

by Josie Kinchin. Working groups with

responsibility for Shabbat; Life Cycle; Festivals;

High Holydays

Inreach/Outreach : Co-ordinated by Hugh

Isaacs. Working groups with responsibility for

Contact; Membership; New members; Events

Operations: Co-ordinated by Joan Shopper

Working groups with responsibility for

Premises; Finance; Security.

If you would like to join any of these working

groups, please contact the relevant co-ordinator

shofar editor

Pat Lehner / shofar@fps.orgEditorial assistant Sarah Aldridge

FPS is a constituent of Liberal Judaism

21 Maple Street W1T 4BE

020 7580 1663

LJY Netzer (youth dept) 020 7631 0584

ashley pageinsurance brokers

Commerce House2a Litchfield Grove

London N3 2TN

Tel. 020 8349 5100

janet tresmanmediator & collaborative

family law solicitor

consultant now at hoffman-bokaei

Suite 2, Exhibition house, Addison Bridge Place,

Kensington Olympia W14 8XP

Tel. 020 7433 2380 / jlt@hoffman-bokaei.co.uk