Sheen's Essay
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Transcript of Sheen's Essay
5/12/2018 Sheen's Essay - slidepdf.com
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A persons career choice should be determined by his or her interest.Discuss.
That is the truth that the decision to involve yourself into a particular
occupation is fateful for your way to the future. Therefore, it is serious
about choosing your occupation and you must be prudentially in making up
your decision. I a
m strongly agreed that a persons career choice should be
determined by his or her interest. In this essay, I will attentively focus on
the three dimensions which h
ave greatly influenced the individuals
interest level which are sense of dedication, the level of motivation and the
intuition of our own.
First and foremost, when you are enthusiastic in the work that you are
doing, there are developed a strong sense of dedication. That means you
have the h
ighly willingness to dedicate yourself into the work. You may be
spending t
he mostly time on your work to achieve the best results and
outcome. Moreover, the willingness of dedication able to pave the way to
the tremendous success, for example, if you do not have the interest on
your current job, then soon will generate a growing sense of d
isenchanting
with the work you are currently work on.
Secondly, the level of the motivation which are indicated by the passion
and interest that you have paid in your work. In other words, highly
motivation will accelerate the speed of working, w
hich in turn the greatly
productivity. In the same token, the greatly productivity boost your self-
confidence and s
elf-satisfactory instead in a positive way. For example, a
persons excellent performance may build up his confidence, satisfaction
and ability.
Comment [M1]: Wrong use of the word
here. Better to use will affect your fate/de
Comment [M2]: Making a choice is a se
issue
Comment [M3]: Prudent (adjective)
Comment [M4]: Making up (phrasal ver
telling a lie/imagining something. Just the w
making is a better choice than making up.
Comment [M5]: I strongly agree (no am
past tense)
Comment [M6]: Which greatly influenc
Comment [M7]: Our own intuition (wor
problem)
Comment [M8]: A strong sense of dedic
developed (word order problem again)
Comment [M9]: No need to use highly
use of adverb)
Comment [M10]: Most of your time (ly
adverb.. u do not show ability to use this w
Comment [M11]: Disenchantment (nou
Comment [M12]: working
Comment [M13]: hanging sentence. Th
seems to be no main verb.
Comment [M14]: high
Comment [M15]: which in turn will gre
increase productivity (word order problem
Comment [M16]: By the same token, n
Comment [M17]: Increased productivit
Comment [M18]: Self-satisfaction (nou
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Last but not least, how to choose the best career ourselves? This is thequestions may have been asked frequently especially for the newly
graduation students from University or college. They may feel it is absurd to
follow own interest instead of the figure out the best and quick way to
make them s
uccess and make money as much as possibly they can.
However, our own interest in the particular occupation or job is particularly
important in decision making. That can make us better in doing the things
we truly addicted and like to do. Thus, will not and never doubt about your
intuition, do not hesitate to follow your inner voice. Our own interest is the
most important than others. Take for an example, if you choose a career
that is not in your interest just due to the possibility to make the profit,
then soon you w
ill lost the patient and passion at your work, that may let
you fall into the huge failure.
In a nutshell,
it is the shadow beyond a doubt that I am still hold a strongly
believe on the decision making for our future career should based on our
own interest. Our own interest can boost up our sense of dedication,
increase the motivation level and make you success in doing the job you are
extremely addicted. Indeed, people should be developing a comprehensive
and thoughtful planning in their future career and insure that there is no
regret in the future.
Overall grade: Band 2 higher.
Comment [M19]: Graduated (adjective
Comment [M20]: Succeed (yes u got th
your self correction)
Comment [M21]: Make as much mone
possibly can
Comment [M22]: Do not, not will not
Comment [M23]: More, not most. Whe
comparing two parties use more.
Comment [M24]: Will lose patience (no
Comment [M25]: It is beyond a shadow
doubt that
Comment [M26]: I still strongly believe
Comment [M27]: succeed
Comment [M28]: poor choice of vocab
because addicted is a negative connotation
addicted to drugs.
Comment [M29]: ensure
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