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Seven Lessons from

Oscar Wilde’s

“The Happy Prince”

by Helena Long

© 2009

 

 

This free ebook is published and distributed by: 

3 Generation Publishing and Distributing Ltd. PO Box 1556 Unity, Saskatchewan S0K 4L0 CANADA 3gen @ best‐loved‐kids‐books.com 

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Lesson One: The outward, material so-called signs of success – fine clothes, fast cars, big homes, or, in the case of the Prince, jewels and gold – don’t prove success, true success. The mayor and the councillors in the story did not understand this concept at all. As long as the Prince was handsome and glittering with gold, they were proud and admired him greatly. When all his finery was gone, then they were scornful to the point of having him torn down and destroyed. But we, and more importantly God, understand that he was far more successful when he gave his treasures away than if he had simply remained proudly on display, listening to all the compliments people made about him. This lesson is so incredibly appropriate in these economic times! How many people looked like they had it made – living in the right neighbourhoods, driving the right cars, wearing the latest designer fashions – but when the financial tsunami hit . . . ? While some people took the trouble during the good times to lay foundations of charity, friendship, and family, a foundation to carry them through not so good times, I fear there are some who were so busy trying to impress the neighbours and “keep up with the Joneses,” that now they will struggle to find meaning in their lives. When I was a young lawyer starting out in private practice, I met a young couple I will never forget. They were both working at good jobs and had no children. They needed wills prepared. The wills were straightforward and simple, and the total bill came to not much more than $100. Guess what? They had to give me a postdated cheque to pay for those wills – they did not have a hundred dollars between paydays, despite – with both paycheques – making six figures a year. They had a very nice apartment, with the trendiest furniture and knick-knacks, dressed well, and drove cool cars, but they

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couldn’t come up with a hundred dollars for an important one-time expense. Appearances are often not what they seem to be. As Thomas Edison once remarked, “Your worth consists in what you are and not in what you have.” Please don’t risk your own financial future on trying to keep up with the Joneses – for all you know, they may be one payday away from bankruptcy. Lesson Two: Those drawn to you because you look or appear successful, will abandon you if you lose the outer signs of success. Once again the mayor and councillors in “The Happy Prince” illustrate this concept for us. Admired by them when he is gilded with gold leaf, the Prince is quickly compared to a beggar once his outer appearance is no longer beautiful. These people waste no time in having the Happy Prince tore down and disposed of. “Fair-weather friends” we called them, when I was growing up. These are the people always ready to spend time with you when things are going well. Do you have some prestige in your community? Do you have the money in your pocket or the room on your credit card to buy the drinks and the coffee? If so, certain people will gravitate towards you. This isn’t to say that they aren’t people who can be a lot of fun and great companions when things are going well. But lose your money or your status, whether through your own foolishness or the vagaries of the stock and job markets, and those particular “friends” will suddenly be too busy to spend time with you. Learn to recognize a real friend, one who truly cares about what you think and how you’re feeling.

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Lesson Three: Even people who seem foolish and flighty can achieve great things if given a purpose and a focus. Ah, the swallow. Such a silly fellow – imagine being a bird and falling in love with a reed, of all things! The Swallow is vain too – remember how much he enjoys the sparrows noticing him and commenting on such “a distinguished stranger.” And he’s always talking about himself and his plans, everything he is going to see and do. And yet . . . and yet, when the Prince begs him to help, the Swallow does it. He feels sorry for the Prince, who looks so sad. What harm can it do to run one errand for him? The next night, the Prince convinces the Swallow to help him again. By the third night and the third errand, the Swallow is ready to give up his long-awaited trip to Egypt. Instead he stays to befriend the Prince and help him in helping the poor. The swallow only needed someone to give him a reason and an opportunity to do something for others. Once again, our lesson also relates to those outward signs of success. You can stay focused on yourself and worry about what the neighbours will say if they learn that you had to return the hi-def TV because you couldn’t keep up the payments. Or you can listen to the pleas for help from community organizations like the food bank, service clubs, and sporting programs, and go and help other people. Lesson 4: Purpose trumps seasons. The time had long since come for the Swallow to fly south, to go to Egypt to join his swallow friends and companions. The other swallows had all gone because it was the right time to

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go. But for our Swallow, it became more important to help the Prince, no matter what time of year it was. And the Prince – when he was alive and in his palace he could have done so much for the people of his city. When he discovered the ugliness and the misery and the people who were unhappy, he didn’t hum and haw and decide it was too late now, the opportunity had passed. Even as an immobile statue, he found a way to contribute and help others. Do you think it’s too late to visit that acquaintance who lost his spouse two months ago? You meant to drop by with some baking or a casserole in the days after the funeral but life got in the way and somehow you just never got around to it. It’s not too late. Go now! You may think it’s too late to volunteer to help organize the Christmas hamper drive but charities always need willing hands and hearts. You may think it’s too late to salvage the relationship with the new neighbour – the one that got off to such a bad start because she complained about your dog barking; it’s never too late for a smile and a “good morning”. If you are called to serve humanity, it is always the right time – and that service might be something as simple as remembering to sincerely smile at each and every store clerk you deal with in a week, or as audacious as starting a whole new charitable foundation in support of the cause nearest and dearest to your heart. Lesson Five: Others can’t help you if they don’t know your needs. (Sometimes, each in turn, we are the helper, and sometimes we are the ones needing the help.)

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The Prince tells the Swallow about his life as a prince, about being protected within the palace walls, about knowing nothing about life outside the palace gates and not at all knowing the needs his people had. Once he knew, he was moved to tears and driven to give all he had left to give. The vast majority of people, even rich people like the Prince, and flighty people like the Swallow, are happy to help someone if they know what help is needed. Ask, just ask. Not asking for help when you need it deprives others of the joy of giving. So, if the children were especially noisy and quarrelsome today, ask your partner to help with supper. Were you delayed in traffic? Ask your colleague to help you prepare the room for the presentation. Need money for university? Ask about scholarships, write letters, ask. If you suspect you may be in an abusive relationship, ask a friend, an elder, a minister, a coach, for support and guidance. Whether your problem is big or small, please don’t pretend everything is okay if it’s not. Lesson 6: God sees the good others miss. You don’t really need accolades from those around you; you don’t need to have your name in the newspaper, you don’t need to win an award. Those things are all nice, but what you need is to know that God is pleased, and don’t worry, he will know about the time you stopped to help the little girl who fell off her bike. He will know about the anonymous donation to your local food bank. He will know about the time your supper was late, because you were on the phone, listening to your troubled friend.

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Lesson 7: A pure heart endures forever. Many, many people throughout many centuries and from all over the world have written about the importance, universality, and permanence of love. Most of them have expressed this idea far better than I can, so I will leave you with a few thoughts from different times and places. Jesus Christ, 1st century: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbour as yourself. On these two commandments depend all . . . .” Rumi, 13th century: “It is love and it is the lover that are enduring for time without end.” William Shakespeare, 16th century: “My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite.” Nelson Rockefeller, early 20th century: “Never forget that the most powerful force on earth is love.” The Beatles, late 20th century: “All you need is love, love is all you need.” And finally, let’s end with this advice from the author of The Happy Prince himself, Oscar Wilde:

"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring."

© Helena Long, 2009