Series 4: 4 sides of a message - Model by Schulz von Thun

Tips for better communication IV

4 sides of a

message!

Tips for better communication: a 4-part series

Series 1: Building empathy

Series 2: How to listen

Series 3: How to ask

Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com

Communication always consistsof at least one sender and one

receiver.

According to the ‘4-sides-of-a-message-model’ or ‘4-ears-model’ of Friedemann Schulz von Thun,

messages can be sent or received in 4 different ways.


4 sides of a message

As shown in the model above, the receiver has up to 4 different possible ways to understand the message.


messageSender Receiver

The 4-sides model is also called the 4-ears-model

Since every message can be received with a different ear.


The 4-ears-model

What I inform you about.

I impart all the necessary facts and data.


The 4-ears-model

What I say about myself.

Disclosure of my current mood, secret and open motives, and my positive and negative feelings and thoughts.


The 4-ears-model

What I think of you and how we relate to each other.

Also possible to show non-verbally, like through facial expressions, intonations or gestures.


The 4-ears-model

What I want you to do.

On this level, the receiver perceives the senders’ commands, wishes, and advice directed at him or herself.


Sample 1: receiver’s perspectiveA married couple is waiting together in a car in front of a red traffic light. It is turning green, but the man doesn’t start driving immediately. Therefore his wife is saying: “The traffic light is green.” These are four different ways the husband can receive the message.


She is impatient. She is annoyed.

She is saying: “Don’t dawdle. Start driving.

Hurry up!”

The traffic light turned indeed green.

She is showing her superiority over me OR she

wants to help me.

Sample 2: sender and receiver’s perspectives


Sample 3: non-verbal messageOften, non-verbal channels are used for implicit messages. The voice, pronunciation and emphasis, accompanied with facial expressions and gestures, also provide information about a conveyed message.


I feel sad, OR I am happy;

I am emotionally touched.

Please stop being mean,

OR please

console me.

I‘m crying.

Look what you did, you jerk, OR you are amazing.

crying

Sample 4: non-verbal message“One cannot not communicate.”– Paul Watzlawick (1969). Every behavior conveys a message. We don’t have to say something to communicate. For instance, when I enter a train compartment, I greet a stranger with a friendly remark. He doesn’t respond, but continues reading his newspaper. The message that I hear can be:


He wants to be left alone in silence.

He doesn't want me to start a conversation under any

circumstances.

He is silent.

Maybe I am not interesting

enough for him to respond.

silence

This model will help you to:

Be more aware of your own words: By being aware that certain sentences can trigger emotional reactions, you can address facts objectively and not personally.

Increase empathy towards others: Understanding how each communication can cause an emotional reaction will help you become more empathic towards others.

Prevent conflicts and miscommunication Misunderstandings occur when the sender and receiver indicate and weigh the 4 levels differently.


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References:

Friedemann Schulz von Thun (2010). Miteinander reden 1: Störungen und Klärungen. Allgemeine Psychologie der Kommunikation. (Talking with each other 1: dysfunction and clarification. General psychology of communication.) Publisher: Rowohlt. Reinbeck near Hamburg.

Nachdenken über Kommunikation und Rheorik. 1.6 Die vier Seiten einer Nachricht. (Reflecting of communication and rhetoric. 1.6 The four sides of a message.) Found in: http://www.germanistik-kommprojekt.uni-oldenburg.de/sites/1/1_06.html


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Series 4: 4 sides of a message - Model by Schulz von Thun

Leadership & Management

Transcript of Series 4: 4 sides of a message - Model by Schulz von Thun