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Separation Anxiety: How to Handle First Day Fears

For Parents

1NTRODUCTION

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When children are getting ready for their first day of LKG or UKG, most of them are pretty eager about finally being a "big kid" who gets to go to a " school". At the same time, you as a parent might be worried sick about them crying, screaming and being upset with this forced separation. It is important to note that in this case, it is the child who is actually looking forward to the new experience of school and meeting new children, and the parent who suffers the separation anxiety, that is transferred to the child.

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The good news is that LKG or UKG does not have to be a bad experience for parents or children. Kids pick up signals about how to act from you.

NOW WHAT ?

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Make your child look forward to LKG or UKG. Prepare for the transition starting a month in advance. Make a calendar that will mimic the daily routine the child will have in school and train your child to get used to it. Plan a special, celebratory breakfast for the first morning.

Point 2

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Find out who will be in your child’s class, and arrange to play with some of the children a few times before school starts if possible. After school begins, plan many play dates with children from the class after school and on the weekends. This is a great way for you to be a part of your child’s life as well.

Point 3

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You will be less anxious if you know what to expect. Take your child to visit the school a few times before the first day. Meet the teacher with your child. Look around the classroom and the school so that your child knows where the bathroom is, where their belongings will go, what the playground looks like, etc. Tell your child what a wonderful time it will be while walking around the school with them.

Point 4

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Ask your child if has any questions about the new school. If you don’t know the answer, tell them honestly. If your child is worried about making friends or talking to the teacher, practice some easy phrases, such as, “Can I play with you?” and “Can I go to the bathroom?”

Point 5

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If your child tells you that they do not want to go to school because they will miss you, respond by saying, “I will miss you, too, but I’m really happy about everything you will get to do in school. I can’t wait for you to tell me about it when you come home.”

Point 7

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When you get to school to drop them off, keep it short, and stay calm. Hug your child, and say, “I love you. I know you’ll have a great day. I’ll pick you up at 12:00. Bye.” Smile and walk away. It is helpful to tell your child ahead of time what you will do and say that morning, so they are prepared.

Point 8

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Do not hesitate and look back when you leave. Be prepared for the fact that your child might cry and be upset, but have confidence that the teachers and the staff know how to handle the situation. The more you prolong the good-bye, the more painful it will be, and the longer it will take your child to get adjusted to separation. If you run back when your child cries, then you are teaching them that crying will prevent you from leaving, and they will do it every morning.

Point 9

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Do not hesitate and look back when you leave. Be prepared for the fact that your child might cry and be upset, but have confidence that the teachers and the staff know how to handle the situation. The more you prolong the good-bye, the more painful it will be, and the longer it will take your child to get adjusted to separation. If you run back when your child cries, then you are teaching them that crying will prevent you from leaving, and they will do it every morning.

Point 9

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Children will pick up on your slightest bit of anxiety from your end and will wonder why you are so worried. It is incredibly important to prepare yourself to be calm, in addition to preparing your child. Practice what you will say to your child and how you will stay calm. If you feel like you are going to cry, do your best to hold it together until you are out of your child’s sight.

Point 10

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Pick up your child on time – no compromises. This will ensure that your child is comforted at the end of the school day and can start trusting the schooling process.

Point 11

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Prepare yourself for a few days for separations. Remind yourself to be consistent, be calm, and be positive. If you can manage the first few days, then it will become a routine.

Point 12

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Children mimic what parents do. Be calm and composed and they will be happy to go to school.

Written by: Shubha Janardhan, Co-Creator of Nidara.Connect with Shubha: www.fb.com/snj104

CONCLUSION

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