Dr. Hana Ra AdamsSchool Counsellor

Labels

Fold paper in half, length-wise

Write: What I Like About Myself on the left

Write: What I Want to Improve About Myself on the right

Write!

Discussion: Which list was easier to write? Why?

Identity Activity

Self esteem is how you feel about yourself.Because it is a feeling, self esteem is expressed in the way

people behave.  Children as well as adults vary in the type of self esteem

exhibited.  Feeling low self esteem from time to time is not a problem

but a pattern of low self esteem can lower confidence and lead a person to look at failures and faults more than successes.

What is Self Esteem

4 Major Factors(Argyle, 2008)

• If people:

• admire, flatter, listen and agree with us positive self-esteem

• avoid, neglect, dislike things negative self-esteem

1. The Reaction of Others

Peer PressureTo be accepted and liked by people their own age.

To appear grown up. Afraid of being rejected.Afraid of losing a friend.Afraid of being teased.Don’t know how to say “no”

Just say no. Remind yourself of your values. Repeat yourself if necessary.

Give a reason why it’s a bad idea - say no, and explain why you feel this way.

Make a joke - humour is a great way to change the topic and the mood. Make an excuse why you can’t.

Suggest a different activity.

Ignore the suggestion.

Leave the situation- if you lead the way, others may follow.

The power of numbers - talk to your closest friends and support each other.

How Can You Resist Peer Pressure?

If the people we compare ourselves with (our reference group) appear to be more successful, happier, richer, better looking than ourselves we tend to develop a negative self image

BUT if they are less successful than us our image will be positive.

2. Comparison with Others

The process you use to attribute meaning to data around you. How you see things affects how you compare yourself to

others

Perception

Social roles are the part people play as members of a social group.

With each social role you adopt, your behavior changes to fit the expectations both you and others have of that role.

What roles do you have?Student, athlete, “good at school,” “popular,” nerd, geek,

etc.Some social roles carry prestige. Other roles carry stigma.

3. Social Roles

Many social roles or norms are “unwritten” rules depending on what role you are in.

Which roles hold prestige? Who determined that?

Which roles are frowned upon?And why?

Who Creates Roles?

Roles aren’t just “out there.”

Roles become a part of our identify with the positions we occupy, the roles we play and the groups we belong to.

4. Identification

Talk to yourself positively – treat yourself as you would your best friend. Be supportive, kind and understanding. Don’t be hard on yourself when you make a mistake.

Challenge negative ‘self-talk’ – every time you criticise yourself, stop and look for objective evidence that the criticism is true. (If you feel you can’t be objective, then ask a trusted friend for their opinion.) You’ll realise that most of your negative self-talk is unfounded.

Tips To Build Self Esteem

Don’t compare yourself to others – recognise that everyone is different and that every human life has value in its own right.

Acknowledge the positive – for example, don’t brush off compliments, dismiss your achievements as ‘dumb luck’ or ignore your positive traits.

Appreciate your special qualities – remind yourself of your good points every day. Write a list and refer to it often. (If you feel you can’t think of anything good about yourself, ask a trusted friend to help you write the list.)

Tips To Build Self Esteem

Forget the past – concentrate on living in the here-and-now rather than reliving old hurts and disappointments.

Tell yourself a positive message everyday – buy a set of ‘inspirational cards’ and start each day reading out a new card and carrying the card’s message with you all day.

Stop worrying – ‘worry’ is simply fretting about the future. Accept that you can’t see or change the future and try to keep your thoughts in the here-and-now.

Tips To Build Self Esteem

Have fun – schedule enjoyable events and activities into every week.

Exercise – it is such a good boost to the brain for all kinds of things but especially in helping you to feel good. Targets need to be step by step and manageable

Be assertive – communicate your needs, wants, feelings, beliefs and opinions to others in a direct and honest manner.

Practice – it takes effort and vigilance to replace unhelpful thoughts and behaviors with healthier versions. Give yourself time to establish the new habits. Keep a diary or journal to chart your progress.

Tips To Build Self Esteem