Secrets of great communicators

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Learn to be a great communicator.

Transcript of Secrets of great communicators

  • 1. Laura JacobPro Way Development 2/15/2013
  • 2. Name What brought you here today Communication challenge / Desired outcome
  • 3. Communication is important at work and home. Everyone is asked to interact with more people (leaders, suppliers, co-workers, etc.). Interactions are more demanding (e.g., ideas for improvement, problem solving, planning). Handling interactions effectively affects how well you do your job.
  • 4. Learn a model of communication focused on active listening Know why effective communication is important in building relationships Understand and demonstrate a model of communication and its three parts Practice active listening to get at the true needs Ask useful questions to drill down to a deeper level of response and to check for full understanding Prevent misunderstanding and clarify what others say and mean Brief glance into communications styles
  • 5. How MisunderstandingsHappen
  • 6. s on Biases pti a st sum g too f As Speaking Negative in y ak ar l Re a ctions pe cle S n Sla ng Jar or u gon Erudite Vocabulary Message Ro o m to o hot/ n s nter I cold is al ti o e u o r is trac up N V s ti onSender Di s Receiver Feedback
  • 7. Tell De cid e e cid DeListen Ask Decide
  • 8. Listening is a skill To demonstrate you understand feelings and thoughts From the other persons point of view
  • 9. Non-verbal, attending Active listening, verbal, paraphrasing, in your own words Reflective listening, listening for whats behind the words, the meaning
  • 10. Brief statements of your understanding of speakers thoughts/feelings Capture essence of speakers message and/or body language: Take it in Sum it up internally Sort it out in your mind Say it back in your own words Bolton, R. (1979). People Skills. Simon & Schuster: New York.
  • 11. Focus on the speaker Be brief and use empathy Note the general content of the message and how it is said (body language and tone) Focus on feeling words Ask yourself: What might I be feeling if it were me?
  • 12. Listening starters for what people are thinking Youre wondering whether... Your dilemma is whether to...or to... Your point of view is... Youre thinking that Listening starters for what people are feeling You sound... You feel... You look...
  • 13. What a change! I feared I wouldnt get a promotion, but it came through. Our new home is just super. Marie and the kids seem more content then they have ever been. Youre happy because things are going well in all parts of your life. My husband drives me crazy. First he says were doing fine and dont have any financial worries. The next day he blows up when I buy something for the house. You feel anxious because he is so inconsistent.
  • 14. Yes signals you have heard the speaker correctly Yes counts if no new content follows Yes can also be: No Right Nonverbal head shake After Yes Listener decides where to go next in communication model
  • 15. ________Verbal or Words? ________Vocal or Tone? ________Visual or Non verbal actions ? 15
  • 16. Eye contact Open posture Sitting upright and forward Head nods Facial expression
  • 17. Environmental Choose an appropriate setting Plan to talk when there is little chance of distraction/interruption Verbal Know what you want to communicate and say it clearly Ask questions and repeat important information to be sure you understand what the other person is saying Listen carefully to what the other person says to you Interpersonal Set aside assumptions and biases to focus on what the other person has to say Be alert for possible differences in perception Be flexible--if someone doesnt understand your idea, try expressing it differently (e.g., draw a picture or use an example).
  • 18. Do any of these behaviors describe you when you listen? Narrowing your eyes Frowning Rolling eyes Drumming Fingers Shaking your head Withdrawing Shrugging your shoulders Sighing Swishing your foot Slumping in chair Playing with a pencil Looking away Looking critical Staring at person Glancing at the desk Bouncing leg Changing the subject Hanging head down Not moving Multi-tasking
  • 19. Originates from an open mind and genuine curiosity Allows speakers to reveal whats most important to them Invites speakers to do their own thinking Encourages speakers to self-evaluate their own data
  • 20. Close-ended Questions First Level Inquiry: Surface level data Structure Who? Close-ended questions What? When? Second Level Inquiry Why? Drilling down to detail How? Establish rationale (why, Feeling? how questions) Communicate thoughts & feelings Open-ended questionsOpen-ended Questions
  • 21. Leading questions Dont you think... Is that what really... Didnt you say... Contains advice Did you try... Have you thought about... Why dont you... Leading and loading questions pulls the speaker off focus by filling questioners need to know
  • 22. Explain the reasoning behind Telling suggestions or De opinions cid Sharing e Speaking ci de De Give data when helpful Include your Active Asking feelings and Listening Decide experiences when Reflecting Questioning appropriate Inquiring
  • 23. Before responding to a request you are unsure of, first e-mail your understanding of the request (reflect) Next, respond in relationship to your reflection Invite an accuracy check from the sender If a message sounds hot or emotional, pick up the phone or schedule a meeting
  • 24. Assess Whats the goal of the communication/interaction? What do I know? What do I need to know? What do I want to happen as a result of the communication/interaction?Plan Who needs to be involved? What is the best channel? What do they need to know? When is the best time to deliver the message? What do they want to know?