Secret Regret Book 1st 18 Pages

8/4/2019 Secret Regret Book 1st 18 Pages

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What if you hada Second Chance?

Compiled by

Kevin Hansen

SECRET REGRETS


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What People Are Saying

About Secret Regrets*

It's like an addiction. It's like I HAVE to peer into people's regrets. It's almost like

therapy ... it helps me to appreciate it my own life more. It makes me realize thatmy regrets are little compared to others. It's always intriguing, interesting, sad,

happy and has occasionally even saved someone's life! Shannon Couture

I stumbled upon the Secret Regrets website by chance. It intrigued me enoughthat I posted my regret. Imagine my surprise when I returned to the site a few days

later and saw my regret as the Regret of the Day. The comments people posted weencouraging. It was a good experience. Donah Myers

Secret Regrets let's people know they're not alone, and gives hope to those whothink they are. Love the website! I'm on it everyday! Efa Sulter

FROM OUR @SECRETREGRETS TWITTER & FACEBOOK FANS:

Yes ... I am currently addicted to Secret Regrets.

So striking. So much of my own life in that of others.

I seriously am in love with Secret Regrets right now. It's brilliant!

Secret Regrets will affect you in ways you never expected!

I posted my Secret Regret. That was good to get it off my chest.

Secret Regrets is my escape.

I just ate a whole bag of OH MY GOD when i checked out Secret Regrets!

Oh this is juicy!

Secret Regrets is legend it's the only place some people can turn to for help

*Quotes are provided by third parties and are independent o and not afliated with the Secret Regrets book.


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Acknowledgements

I would like to extend a special thank you to my riends and amily who havesupported the development o the Secret Regrets project. Thank you to Gina Burkartor her encouragement, advice and help with proofng.

I would also like to thank the thousands o anonymous people who have revealed

their innermost secret regrets at www.SecretRegrets.com. By reaching deep withinyoursel and allowing the world to share in your most personal thoughts, eelings andregretul experiences, your posts have helped countless people in ways you cannotbegin to imagine. Thank you.

Kevin

If you like Secret Regrets, check outand contribute to our other projects:

www.LieIsFunnyBlog.blogspot.com

www.MyDefningMomentIs.blogspot.com

www.TheOnlyThingToFearIs.blogspot.com

www.TheWordsILiveBy.blogspot.com

www.MyPersonalCrossroads.blogspot.com


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Secret Regrets What i you had a Second Chance? (Volume 1) 2010 Kevin Hansen.

All rights reserved. Secret Regrets is a trademark o Kevin Hansen. All other marks included

in the content o this book are the property o their respective trademark owners and their

inclusion is not intended to imply any afliation or endorsement o SecretRegrets.com or

this book. No part o this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written

permission, with the exception o minor quotes used or reviews or articles. Front cover photo

istockphoto.com/Rebekkah_ann. Back cover photo istockphoto.com_aurumarcus.

For more inormation, contact [email protected].


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Dedicated to the love o my lie. To my amazing wie, Connie.


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Introduction

Im here.

Those two words that were posted on New Years Day 2010 brought overwhelmingrelie to the ollowers o www.SecretRegrets.com. They were posted by a 16-year-oldgirl who two days prior had posted her intention to end her lie on New Years Eve.The reason? She elt that she didnt deserve to see 2010. Her post said that sheregretted not having the courage to tell anyone about her intentions to overdose.She regretted how horrible it would be or the person who ound her.

But then something amazing happened. The instant her original post went live, anunimaginable outpouring o support emerged or this young lady. Anonymous strangersbegan leaving comments, desperately trying to help her with her struggle. Crisis center

websites and suicide hotline numbers were immediately posted. Many people bravelyshared their own stories o overcoming their struggle with suicidal thoughts. Andthrough it all, one common suggestion suraced, Just talk to someone.

Several people posted their personal e-mail addresses in hopes o communicatingdirectly with the poster. Others even posted their phone numbers, oering to bethere to just talk, listen or whatever.

For nearly 48 hours, the Secret Regrets community waited to hear something anything at all to confrm she had read the supportive comments let by thesecompassionate strangers. Comments letting her know she was not alone. Lettingher know she was loved, and how she deserved to not only see 2010, but to see

what her entire lie had in store or her.


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And then, at 1:53 PM on New Years Day, the message we had all been waiting orfnally arrived. It started with,

Im here.

Heres what ollowed:

Thank you guys for all your comments, they really made me think. They made mefeel strong enough to let my friend help me. She talked to her mum who talked tomine. I was taken to the doctor, and have another appointment soon.

I AM GETTING HELP.

I seriously wish I could thank every one of you personally. You guys now mean

so much.

Happy New Year!

She took a brave step in revealing her deepest, darkest, secret regret. And the SecretRegrets community responded with loving, non-judgmental, and sympathetic openarms. Arms that reached out rom all over the world to wrap themselves arounda hurting, young soul, who needed someone to listen, understand, and to be thereor her.

Im here,were the words she selected to let everyone know she was OK. Andironically, they were also the words chosen by complete strangers to let her knowthat someone many people in act were in reality, there or her.


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Preface

Over the past decade, the World Wide Web has made a quantum leap in its abilityto connect people. Facebook allows long lost riends to reconnect. LinkedIn allowsproessionals to connect and network with their peers. Sites like Match and eHarmonyconnect singles searching or their perect soul mates.

Along the way, other types o sites and blogs started popping up, allowing people toconnect with each other anonymously. A ew o the more popular sites centered around

people's conessions and secrets. I was very intrigued by this phenomenon, and in2007 decided to start a blog that went one step arther. Instead o providing an outletor people to simply reveal secrets, I wanted to create a orum that allowed people toacknowledge and admit their regrets. And not just any regret but the BIGGEST regreto their lives. The ONE thing they would do dierently i they had a second chance.

The goal o this project?

To help people see how powerul looking back can be as the frst step inmoving orward.

Ater the Secret Regrets blog went live, something happened over the next couple omonths that I wasnt expecting. Something that showed me the tremendous impactthis site had. People began leaving amazing comments on many o the Secret Regretsposted on the site. Some o the comments totally blew me away. I was astounded bythe words o encouragement, support, sympathy, empathy and love that were let bycomplete strangers. And oten, the anonymous person who posted the original regret

would come back and leave comments on what they did ater they read the readercomments. Many posters thanked those who shared their insights expressing howtheir comments helped them see their regrets in a dierent light.

Every day, more and more people began visiting and reading the blog, and moreand more people began posting their own Secret Regrets. What developed proved auniversal truth that no matter what you are acing in your lie, you are not alone.


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Someone out there can relate to what you are going through and may have evenmade it through a similar situation. These people are not doctors, therapists or

other clinically trained proessionals. Instead they are wives, husbands, girlriends,boyriends, mothers, athers, brothers, sisters, riends, bosses, co-workers, loversand exes real people with real lie experiences and real lie perspectives. They aresympathetic to what you are going through. And they want to help.

It didnt take long to realize there was a tremendous opportunity to use this projectto help others. Many supporters o the Secret Regrets site have requested that I puttogether a book eaturing some o the most impactul regrets submitted. So I did,and youre holding that book in your hands. My hope is that i youre tormented by

something you regret, that one or more o the regrets in the book help you realizethere are others dealing with the same kinds o tough lie experiences. My wish is thatinside these pages, youll fnd strength, encouragement and hope. No matter what youare struggling with, remember, you have the caring support o the entire Secret Regretscommunity ready to help you through.

Peace,

Kevin

Please Note: Although the Secret Regrets project provides useul insight, it is in no way a substituteor proessional help and advice. It is simply thoughts, opinions and stories rom real, everyday people.I you are acing serious challenges that you dont know how to deal with, please seek out additionalhelp. And dont stop until you get it. Talk to a teacher, someone at church, a trusted relative or riend

and ask them to help you fnd the proessional help you need. Call a crisis line or center.

You can also visitwww.ReachOut.com. Its a great site or teens and young adults (and evennot-so-young adults) where you can fnd out how others got through a tough time or learn how

you can help people you know who are going through a tough time. The site has lots o useulinormation and resources, like the Get Help section that lists many hotlines and support centersthat you can call or help.

Another great source or hotlines and helplines can also be ound at:www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-

resources/menu-id-200/


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What if you had

a Second Chance?

SECRET REGRETS


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SECRET REGRET: I regret all the praying that Ive done to keep you on this earth,Mom. I know how much pain youre in and how badly you want it all to stop. I knowthat youd be better o in Heaven with God. I know.

I regret my selfshness o wanting to keep you.

I still dont want God to take you, but would it be best?

I need you Mom.

Just stay or a little while longer.

Please, or me.

COMMENTS:

>> I could have written this regret. My mother just passed a ew months ago and I eel guilty everyday

that when she stopped breathing, I so desperately wanted to breathe or her to keep her here with me.

I know that the day she died was the happiest day o her lie; she is no longer suering as she was here

with us. Take comort in that act. There is nothing I can say to take away the pain, but try to keep the

good times oreront in your mind. Your mother will always be with you, even i you cant see her.

>> Dont eel guilty or wanting your mother to continue living. Very ew people on this planet would

eel any dierent in your situation.

>> I regret this same thing still, seven years ater I nally said I let go mom, Ill see you when I get

there too. To this day I wish that I hadnt been the one holding on, saying, No, you wont die, youhave to live.

>> Your mother would have wanted to stay or you, regardless o the pain. I have 2 kids, and i its

in my power I will stay or them until theyre ready to let me go. Your mama knew you loved her and

she knew you wanted her with you I cant imagine a better thing or a mother to know as she was

passing.


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S E C R E T R E G R E T S

SECRET REGRET: I regret riending you on Facebook. Now I see your lie without meevery time you post a status update. Technology means never having to say goodbye

orever. Female, 20

COMMENTS:

>> Oh, man. I can so relate to this regret ... Ugh.

>> I have the same problem. I deleted my ex o Facebook but I oten use riends accounts to see how

happy he is without me. I still love him. 2 years later.

>> I know how you eel. I ollow my exs every move on Twitter and I know all about the lives o him

and his riends. I know that its not healthy and I should stop ollowing him, but I just cant. I need to

remain connected to him in some way. Im not ready to cut him out o my lie yet, as much as I want

to be.

>> More than 25 people agreed that the poster should denitely delete, block or unriend him and

just move on.

SECRET REGRET: You were a baby, I was 18, my boyriend was violent. I regret beingtoo scared to stand up or you and me, instead they took you away. That was 20 yearsago. I think about you every day. I regret my other children will never know you, theirsister ...

I regret that you will never know that although I had lost you to another amily, youwere the one that gave me the courage to leave in the end! I regret the years thatollowed with your brothers and sister and how scared I was to love them in case Imessed it up! I regret the pain this has caused so many people, but most o all I regret

the pain it has caused you.

When I ound you on the internet, I could not believe the pain you were causingyoursel and the harm you were doing to your soul. I regret not telling you that youronline riend was me ... Im sorry, I always will be sorry ... but what can I do now!!!????

Its too late ...


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W h a t I f y o u h a d a S e c o n d c h a n c e ?

COMMENTS:

>> Tell! Please! Just tell! It might change your, and your childs lie!

>> As a ellow mother, my heart breaks or you. Youre obviously in so much pain. Tell her who you

are. She may not realize it, but she needs to know. She will love you. And then both o you, please go

see a therapist. Take care o yourselves!

SECRET REGRET: There is a man that always ollows me but he doesnt exist. I caneel his eyes on my back and his hands around my neck. I dont know what he lookslike because he is only a shadow.

I regret not telling anyone and orcing mysel to live like this.

I dont know i he was real at one point or will be real in the uture. But I have thisoverwhelming eeling that he has hurt me already.

I think this is a dark part o my childhood coming back at me. I regret being too

scared to ask someone or answers.

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COMMENTS:

>> I know this eeling very well. Counseling helps and so does time. Eventually you will either ace it

head on, or acknowledging its presence will help the hidden memories ade. Ive got 8 years on you.

At 19, I hadnt even seen the shadows, just elt them all around. You have time.

SECRET REGRET: I regret the act that were $50,000 in debt (outside o mortgageand cars) and that you have no idea. You hate your job so much, and i we didnt havethis debt, I could support you in walking away.


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SECRET REGRET: I was there when the doctor told you about the cancer. I held yourhand as you cried and screamed, I dont want to die. We shared more ater that than

ever. I loved the time we spent. Ill never regret that ...

But I do regret running when it got bad. You didnt know me. And it hurt. I regretpractically living with my girlriend whom you didnt approve o. Were apart now.

I regret the day hospice came the most. Because I let the house and didnt come backthat night ...

And you didnt live to see me the next day.

I regret abandoning you in your fnal days.

I miss you and love you Mom.

24 M

COMMENTS:

>> Dont let this eat at you anymore. You have to be a parent to know that she would never blameyou. She loves you, even now, and orever. She has gone home, and the two o you will be together one

day. Till then know she is with you every minute.

>> I had cancer. I have it again. It makes people react dierently. It scares the hell out o us, and

what scares the hell out o us even more is when we think o what it might do to our kids, our amily.

Dont think or a moment that your mom doesnt understand. We do! And I or one, wished my kids

(17 and 13 the rst round), never had to hear me throw up, or pace the foor rom the radiation

shakes. I wished time and time again that they could be somewhere else. Or that I could be. Your mom

knows you love her to this day. Regrets are or the dying ... honor her by being one o the living. Make

a dierence to another person with cancer. Walk, run, undraise, read to a patient, donate marrow,

blood. Thats what makes us moms proud. So take it rom this survivor and ghter ... she loves you,

show her the love back.


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W h a t I f y o u h a d a S e c o n d c h a n c e ?

SECRET REGRET: I regret saying I didnt like the ring and I didnt like the way youproposed. It was shallow and stupid o me. I know you did the best you could or me

and I was still ungrateul and Ive always elt horrible or it. Because now, I wish ornothing more than you to put a ring on my fnger and call me your fanc again.

COMMENTS:

>> 25 years ago I dropped out o college to work and save and be able to go back, and spent

more than I should have on a ring. I proposed in a way I thought you would like, but the look o

disappointment on your ace when you saw the ring was devastating. It was the best I could do, and

really more than I could aord. I went back to school, met someone who understood how poor I was.

23 years later she still wears the $80 ring I proposed with great pride. Im really glad you reacted like

you did, it exposed the real you and prompted me to leave while it only cost me a ring. Thanks!

SECRET REGRET: I wish that I would have listened to your cries or help and that Iwould have helped you. I am so sorry that we were in a fght and I honestly thoughtthat midterms were more important than talking to you. I am so sorry that I let you kill

yoursel and I was the only person that you reached out to. It has been 7 years and thisguilt is killing me very slowly every day that I live. I wish I could join you so I wouldnthave to live like this anymore, but I cant because I know how much suicide destroyspeoples lives. Since you have let, every relationship I have is d up. I miss you somuch. I am so sorry that I couldnt help you, that I was too sel-centered. I love youDad.

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COMMENTS:

>> A 20 year old is not supposed to be responsible or being her athers therapist. I had to learn

that lesson with my own ather. Depression is a orm o mental illness, and you were not equipped or

trained to x it. It was much bigger than you. This is not your ault. Get proessional help with this,

orgive yoursel. I pray that you nd peace.


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SECRET REGRET: No words can express how much regret I eel or typing out lastweek on this site about how madly in love I am with the other guy ... because today

my boyriend did something or me that only a man soul-heartedly in love with hisgirlriend would do.

SECRET REGRET: I regret tracking you down on the internet just over a year ago.

I regret idly typing your name into a search engine one day and coming up with anarticle rom the local press about your recent wedding.

I regret tracing the website o your photographer and trawling through the dozens ophotographs o your wedding with my heart pounding and my mouth run dry, in shock.In those photos, you look so very happy. Your hair is graying now, your waistline a littlethicker but your smile takes my breath away, still. Your bride is beautiul and you arelooking into her eyes. Ive seen that look so many times beore, its the look you gaveme when it was me that you loved. I dream about you still, less oten than I did. I wakeup eeling so empty and when I tell my husband I had a bad dream, I dont mention

that you were in it, still loving me.

I regret that I was not the one or you. I regret that you were unable to keep on lovingme.

I regret ever having been so loved by and in love with you. How could anything evercompare to that?

I regret that I have a loving husband, happy, healthy children, good riends and a

comortable lie and it will never be enough.

I regret knowing that I would give up everything I have (and I have so much) to bewith you again and or the rest o my lie.

I regret that I will only ever be in your arms again in my dreams.

I regret that it has been 18 long years since you let me and that the pain has nevergone away.

Secret Regret Book 1st 18 Pages

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