Scenes, or Thirty years a Slave, and Four Odds in ... · From Slave to Seamstress: Fighting the...

From Slave to Seamstress: Fighting theOdds in Elizabeth Keckley’s Behind the

Scenes, or Thirty years a Slave, and FourYears in the White House

by annessa young

WORD COUNT 1945CHARACTER COUNT 9578

TIME SUBMITTED APR 01, 201111:05AM

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2

3 4 dev

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7

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8

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FINAL GRADE

80 / 100

GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Ms. Young,

Thank you for your submission. Your paper does a great job of following the assignmentinstructions, especially of paying attention to MLA formatting on your Works Cited page. I cantell you worked diligently on this assignment. Please keep that up.

Be sure, though, to clearly support the point in each paragraph. Some of them lapse into areport/summary rather than a connection to your thesis. Also, please pay attention to your MLArequirements within your document.

You should also proof for fragments, redundancies, and awkward structures.

Let me know if you have any questions.

PAGE 1

1.1. Topic?

Unnecessary CommaUnnecessary Comma Unnecessary Comma:

Avoid unnecessary or misplaced commas. Don't use a comma to separate a subject from a verb; to separate compound subjects,predicates, or objects; at the beginning of a series; after the last item in a series; with essential (restrictive) modifiers; after acoordinating conjunction between independent clauses; after a subordinating conjunction; with quotations that fit into the structureof your sentence; or with quotation marks that enclose titles. See 38l. For effective use of commas, see 38a to 38k.

2.2. Clarity needed. Does she share them more than once or regarding her experiences in the nineteenth century?

3.3. Vague

4.4. You haven't mentioned its negative reception prior to this sentence. Remember, prepare the reader for your point, as thisreads as disconnected.

DevelopmentDevelopment Development:Each paragraph performs a certain kind of work in the larger piece of writing--it may advance the argument, provide illustrations andexamples, discuss the effects of a solution the writer is proposing, and so on. Paragraphs also have an internal logic; they focusattention on one idea at a time, along with a cluster of closely related sentences that explain, extend, or support that idea.

For a general discussion of the paragraph structure T-R-I (topic sentence, restrictive sentences, and illustrative sentences) seepage 20.For paragraph coherence, which is a network of relationships within a paragraph that keeps the information flowing andunderstandable, see pages 21-22.For developing paragraphs that use patterns to fulfill specific purposes, see pages 23-27.

For information on revising your work, see chapter 3.

DevelopmentDevelopment Development:Each paragraph performs a certain kind of work in the larger piece of writing--it may advance the argument, provide illustrations andexamples, discuss the effects of a solution the writer is proposing, and so on. Paragraphs also have an internal logic; they focusattention on one idea at a time, along with a cluster of closely related sentences that explain, extend, or support that idea.

For a general discussion of the paragraph structure T-R-I (topic sentence, restrictive sentences, and illustrative sentences) seepage 20.For paragraph coherence, which is a network of relationships within a paragraph that keeps the information flowing andunderstandable, see pages 21-22.For developing paragraphs that use patterns to fulfill specific purposes, see pages 23-27.

For information on revising your work, see chapter 3.

5.5. Relevance to trickery? Topic sentence needed.

6.6. had

7 .7 . Support? You're reporting here.

PAGE 2

CoherenceCoherence Coherence:

Good writing should be coherent--that is, the ideas should progress logically and smoothly from one sentence to the nextthroughout the text.

For more information about coherence, see 2b.



FragmentFragment Fragment:

A sentence fragment is only a piece of a sentence; it is not complete. A fragment may lack a subject, a verb, or both. Or it may havea subject and verb, but these appear in a subordinate clause that renders the clause dependent on another sentence for meaning.Eliminate a fragment by attaching it to a complete sentence or rewriting the fragment as a complete sentence.

To understand incomplete and missing verbs, see 31a.To understand missing subjects, see 31b.To identify subject-verb pairs that can't act as sentences, that is, dependent clauses, see 31c.Some fragments are missing both subject and verb; these are phrase fragments; see 31d.Be aware that sentence fragments are occasionally used in both fiction and nonfiction writing, often as a technique to createemphasis through an abrupt change of rhythm; see 31e.

http://bca.brookscole.com/quiz-public?name=wrha02q/wrha02q_chp51

8.8. Reporting. You've provided an essay map that you don't follow. Why is that?

9.9. Topic sentence needs to indicate this point so the reader expects it.

10.10. No italics needed.

PAGE 3

11.11. Citation needed directly after the quote.

AwkwardAwkward Awkward:

Look for sentence structures, paragraph problems, or word choices that detract from the flow of your writing. These should beidentified and corrected in the revising and editing process.

For more information on revising awkward sentences, see 3c, Revising for Style; see also chapter 24, Sentences in Context;chapter 25, Parallelism; chapter 26, Coordination and Subordination; and chapter 27, Conciseness, Variety and Emphasis.

For methods of drafting paragraphs, see 2d, Developing Body Paragraphs. For revising to strengthen the content of paragraphs,see 3a.

For information on revising awkward words, see chapter 28, Effective Word Use.


12.12. Topic sentence? Which point are you supporting?

Comma SpliceComma Splice Comma Splice:

A comma splice occurs when two independent clauses are joined by a comma only. A comma is not a strong enough mark ofpunctuation for this purpose. Comma splices can be revised in several ways: the two sentences can be separated by a period; acomma and a coordinating conjunction can be used; a semicolon or, in some cases, a colon can separate them; or the sentencecan be recast entirely.

For more information on comma splices, see chapter 32.


RedundantRedundant Redundant:

Redundancy is repetition for no good reason. It contributes to wordiness. See 27a.

In some languages, the subject of a clause can be repeated, but this is not the case in English. See 50a.





LowercaseLowercase Lowercase:

Change a capital letter to lowercase.

For capitalization conventions, see chapter 44.For words in a title that should be capitalized and lowercase according to MLA style, see "Title of Book or Part of Book" on page194.For the APA rules regarding capitalization in titles, see "Title of Book or Part of Book" on page 245.For CMS rules, see page 285.


CommaComma Comma:

Use commas to define boundaries within a sentence and in other convention uses. A comma comes between independentclauses; see 38a. A comma separates introductory elements from the rest of the sentence; see 38c. A comma is used betweenthe items in a series; see 38d. A comma comes between coordinate adjectives; see 38e. Commas set off nonrestrictive elements;see 38f. A comma sets off parenthetical and transitional expressions; see 38g. Commas set off contrasts, interjections, directaddress, and tag sentences; see 38h. Commas set off quotations; see 38i. They are also used in dates, places, addresses, andnumbers; see 38j. Commas are used with names and titles; see 38k. Commas cannot themselves separate independent clauses;see 38b. For other misuses of the comma, see 38l.


13.13. Show this strategy rather than tell about it.

14.14. Have you mentioned the selective part yet?

15.15. Show this selectivity in the narrative.



For more information on revising awkward sentences, see 3c, Revising for Style; see also chapter 24, Sentences in Context;

chapter 25, Parallelism; chapter 26, Coordination and Subordination; and chapter 27, Conciseness, Variety and Emphasis.




PAGE 4





16.16. Show rather than tell. You're lapsing into a report here. Pull out the quote, cite, and elaborate.







17 .17 . Support? Remember the purpose of your supporting paragraphs is to show case the proof for your position. There arelimited citations here.







18.18. Interesting!

19.19. ?

PAGE 5

RedundantRedundant Redundant:

Redundancy is repetition for no good reason. It contributes to wordiness. See 27a.

In some languages, the subject of a clause can be repeated, but this is not the case in English. See 50a.

DeleteDelete Delete:

Watch for and delete unnecessary elements during the editing and proofreading process. Once you are satisfied with the overallstructure and content of your writing project, move to editing individual sentences for clarity, effectiveness, and variety. Be sure tolook at diction, word choice, punctuation, and spelling. Proofreading means making a special search to ensure that the final workyou submit is free from error. This is usually the last step in your editing process. The final draft should reflect the care you took as awriter.

See 3e and 3f for more information on editing and proofreading.






20.20. No italics for direct quotes. See MLA.




21.21. Qualify this statement to avoid generalizations.

CommaComma Comma:

Use commas to define boundaries within a sentence and in other convention uses. A comma comes between independentclauses; see 38a. A comma separates introductory elements from the rest of the sentence; see 38c. A comma is used betweenthe items in a series; see 38d. A comma comes between coordinate adjectives; see 38e. Commas set off nonrestrictive elements;see 38f. A comma sets off parenthetical and transitional expressions; see 38g. Commas set off contrasts, interjections, directaddress, and tag sentences; see 38h. Commas set off quotations; see 38i. They are also used in dates, places, addresses, andnumbers; see 38j. Commas are used with names and titles; see 38k. Commas cannot themselves separate independent clauses;see 38b. For other misuses of the comma, see 38l.


ColonColon Colon:

Use colons to signal that the information to follow explains or elaborates previous information. A colon usually comes at the end ofan independent clause (complete sentence).

For more information on colons, see chapter 40.


PAGE 6




22.22. Who? Keckley?




PAGE 7

RUBRIC: RESEARCH PAPER SLAVE NARRATIVE

CONVENTIONS (20%)

EXCELLENT(5)

GOOD(4)

SATISFACTORY(3)

UNSATISFACTORY(2)

UNACCEPTABLE(1)

MLA CITATION (30%)

EXCELLENT(5)

GOOD(4)

SATISFACTORY(3)

UNSATISFACTORY(2)

UNACCEPTABLE(1)

DIRECTIONS (10%)

EXCELLENT(5)

GOOD(4)

SATISFACTORY(3)

UNSATISFACTORY(2)

UNACCEPTABLE(1)

LANGUAGE (20%)

EXCELLENT(5)

4 / 5

4 / 5

Assignment is a researched analysis of a specific slave narrative's contribution, legacy, influence,significance, etc. Adheres to the academic conventions of formal writing and research, writes confidently,organizes logically, quotes and cites consistently, and proofreads prior to submission.

Assignment is a breakdown or examination of a slave narrative, but may lack in a minor academicexpectation.

Assignment lacks two or more SPA expectations. Eg., lapses in formality, research, vague references,word choice, coherence. Quotes/support present, but not sandwiched.

Assignment does not meet reader's expectations in most instances. May report rather than support.

Assignment does not resemble a research paper.

4 / 5

•Includes parenthetical citations and a works cited page with at least 5 sources (a variety) •Cites in MLAconsistently and correctly)

At least ¾ of the sources are cited correctly.

Half or fewer sources provide complete and thorough information.

Each source lacks part of required information, both works cited entries and in-text citations May lapseinto a mixure of citation styles.

Formatting is careless or lacking. Assignment does not meet the source requirements (at least 5sources). Assignment contains no works cited or in-text citations. Assignment is plagiarized.

4 / 5

•Provides at least 5 pages in length (not including the heading); at least 2 parentheticalcitations persupporting paragraph. •Incorporates 1 inch margins rule all around (top, bottom, left, and right) •Producesa double spaced Word document •Types in Times New Roman 12 pt. font

Assignment meets page requirements but may lack in one minor requirement such as margins or font/size.

Assignment meets page requirements may be missing a minor and a major requirement.

Assignment almost meets page requirements, but contains major omissions such as spacing, MLAomissions, source omissions.

Document does not follow assignment instructions.

4 / 5

Style, tone, and expression appropriate for academic writing; diction well chosen; syntax and mechanicsvirtually error-free.

GOOD(4)

SATISFACTORY(3)

UNSATISFACTORY(2)

UNACCEPTABLE(1)

FOCUS (20%)

EXCELLENT(5)

GOOD(4)

SATISFACTORY(3)

UNSATISFACTORY(2)

UNACCEPTABLE(1)

Style and tone suitable for academic writing; syntax and mechanics have minor errors; dictionappropriate in most instances.

Style and tone fall short of academic standards; distracting usage, diction, and mechanical errors.

Little resemblance to academic writing in most respects.

Frequent errors inhibit clarity and meaning.

4 / 5

Clear introduction, research question and thesis that indicates an analysis of the slave narrative.Academic title and supporting paragraphs are effective. Concludes satisfactorily.

Introduction may be clear and research question and thesis may be present, but document may straysomewhat. Title connects; supporting paragraphs may need to be more development. Conclusionpresent.

Introduction lacks engagement and connection. Research question and thesis present; however, thedocument lacks in connection and support. Title may not connect to the main idea. Conclusion presentbut may not end effectively.

Introduction fails to properly signal topic. Reserach question is unclear or missing. Thesis is general,vague iwordy, convoluted, or doesn't answer/address the question. Title is insignificant. Underdevelopedconclusion.

No achievement in any of the focus criteria.

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