SAFE HARBOR - Abington...4 Safe Harbor Program and I would have had a much smoother transition....

8
NEWSLETTER Volume 16, Issue 1 Spring 2017 Director Debbie Teasdale, MSS, MLSP Music Therapist and Program Coordinator Michelle Balcer, MT-BC Program Coordinator Heide Marcelis, MS Staff Facilitator and Art Specialist Jennifer Schmauk, BS Administrative Assistant and Staff Facilitator Caitlin Lynch, BA Editor Ginny Freyer We are proud to share that Safe Harbor is a second-time recipient of an American Hospital Association (AHA) Hospital Award for Volunteer Excellence (HAVE) in the com- munity service category for Camp Charlie. This award acknowledges outstanding vol- unteer programs and services that improve health care and promote collaboration between healthcare providers and local communities. Shari Glaskin, a Safe Harbor and Camp Charlie volunteer for the last eight years was selected to represent the many volunteers who make Camp Charlie possible. Shari came on board as a Safe Harbor volunteer in 2009, and has been a dedicated camp volunteer since 2010. For the last eight years, her energy, enthusiasm, determination and creativity has contributed to the fun, joy and healing experience of both our campers and buddies. She has also been an invaluable part of the intense planning process for camp. When Shari isn’t coming weekly to co-facilitate in her two support groups, or planning and then volunteering for camp, she is a very busy clinical educator for Acute and Intermediate Care at Doylestown Hospital, where she has worked for the last four years. Prior to that, She was a staff nurse specializing in Cardiology and Critical Care. As well, Shari teaches in the under- graduate nursing programs at Gwynedd Mercy University. Shari says, “I have loved Safe Harbor from the time I walked in for my interview nine years ago. I love being able to help kids through the toughest times in their lives and help them find their inner strength to heal. Camp Charlie is a natural extension of my work with the Little’s (support groups, ages 6- to 8- and 9- to 11-year-olds). It is well worth the week’s vacation time every year!” It’s hard to imagine that Shari has time for much else, but to relax she enjoys crocheting, gardening, reading and playing with her German shepard. She also loves seeing and listening to Broadway shows. Were it not for the generosity of time, energy and creativity given by all the extraor- dinary volunteers, Camp Charlie would not exist and continue to grow as it has these last 10 years. While many of our volunteers, like Shari, are simply giving individuals com- pelled to give of their time to provide grieving children a healing, fun experience, Camp Charlie also affords many previous Safe Harbor participants the opportunity to com- plete a very important task in their grief: that of giving back. We could not be more proud that the HAVE Award gives these special people the recognition they deserve. Thank you Shari and the many other volunteers that not only make camp possible, but ensure its success! Pictured below (left): Shari Glaskin, Safe Harbor volunteer facilitator, with two campers and (right): some of the volunteers and staff that helped make Camp Charlie 2016 possible. NOTE FROM THE PROGRAM DIRECTOR SAFE HARBOR A PROGRAM FOR GRIEVING CHILDREN, TEENS AND FAMILIES Safe Harbor Program Abington Health Center – Willow Grove Pennwood Building 2500 Maryland Road Fourth Floor Willow Grove, PA 19090 PHONE: 215-481-5983 FAX: 215-481-5910

Transcript of SAFE HARBOR - Abington...4 Safe Harbor Program and I would have had a much smoother transition....

Page 1: SAFE HARBOR - Abington...4 Safe Harbor Program and I would have had a much smoother transition. I’d also suggest being ready to write down phone numbers, because there’s a high

NEWSLETTERVolume 16, Issue 1

Spring 2017

DirectorDebbie Teasdale,

MSS, MLSP

Music Therapist andProgram Coordinator

Michelle Balcer, MT-BC

Program CoordinatorHeide Marcelis, MS

Staff Facilitator andArt Specialist

Jennifer Schmauk, BS

Administrative Assistantand Staff FacilitatorCaitlin Lynch, BA

EditorGinny Freyer

We are proud to share that Safe Harbor isa second-time recipient of an AmericanHospital Association (AHA) Hospital Awardfor Volunteer Excellence (HAVE) in the com-munity service category for Camp Charlie.This award acknowledges outstanding vol-unteer programs and services that improvehealth care and promote collaborationbetween healthcare providers and localcommunities. Shari Glaskin, a Safe Harborand Camp Charlie volunteer for the lasteight years was selected to represent themany volunteers who make Camp Charliepossible.

Shari came on board as a Safe Harborvolunteer in 2009, and has been a dedicatedcamp volunteer since 2010. For the last eightyears, her energy, enthusiasm, determinationand creativity has contributed to the fun, joyand healing experience of both our campersand buddies. She has also been an invaluablepart of the intense planning process forcamp. When Shari isn’t coming weekly toco-facilitate in her two support groups, orplanning and then volunteering for camp,she is a very busy clinical educator forAcute and Intermediate Care at DoylestownHospital, where she has worked for the lastfour years. Prior to that, She was a staffnurse specializing in Cardiology and CriticalCare. As well, Shari teaches in the under-graduate nursing programs at GwyneddMercy University.

Shari says, “I have loved Safe Harbor fromthe time I walked in for my interview nine

years ago. I love being able to help kidsthrough the toughest times in their livesand help them find their inner strength toheal. Camp Charlie is a natural extension ofmy work with the Little’s (support groups,ages 6- to 8- and 9- to 11-year-olds). It is wellworth the week’s vacation time every year!”It’s hard to imagine that Shari has time formuch else, but to relax she enjoys crocheting,gardening, reading and playing with her Germanshepard. She also loves seeing and listeningto Broadway shows.

Were it not for the generosity of time,energy and creativity given by all the extraor-dinary volunteers, Camp Charlie would notexist and continue to grow as it has theselast 10 years. While many of our volunteers,like Shari, are simply giving individuals com-pelled to give of their time to provide grievingchildren a healing, fun experience, CampCharlie also affords many previous SafeHarbor participants the opportunity to com-plete a very important task in their grief: thatof giving back. We could not be more proudthat the HAVE Award gives these specialpeople the recognition they deserve. Thankyou Shari and the many other volunteersthat not only make camp possible, but ensureits success!

Pictured below (left): Shari Glaskin, SafeHarbor volunteer facilitator, with two campersand (right): some of the volunteers and staffthat helped make Camp Charlie 2016possible.

NOTE FROM THE PROGRAM DIRECTOR

SAFE HARBORA PROGRAM FOR GRIEVING CHILDREN, TEENS AND FAMILIES

Safe Harbor ProgramAbington Health Center

– Willow GrovePennwood Building

2500 Maryland RoadFourth Floor

Willow Grove, PA 19090PHONE: 215-481-5983

FAX: 215-481-5910

Page 2: SAFE HARBOR - Abington...4 Safe Harbor Program and I would have had a much smoother transition. I’d also suggest being ready to write down phone numbers, because there’s a high

Friends of Safe Harbor

Mrs. Florence E. FederIn Honor of Rona Frank’s 90th Birthday

Mrs. Hannah G. McGarryIn Memory of Spencer Zaslow

Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Singer

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Delaney

The Sweeney FamilyIn Honor of Team Kendrick

Ms. Michelle Tate

Ms. Irene StrapkoIn Honor of Jacqueline Olson’s 90thBirthday

Mrs. Frances M. WarrenderIn Honor of Jacqueline Olson’s 90thBirthday

Dr. and Mrs. Ronald S. RosenthalIn Memory of Dr. Roberta (Robbie)Babbitt

Dr. and Mrs. Ronald S. RosenthalIn Memory of Selma Bellet

Mrs. Evelyn LynchIn Memory of Meghan Clarke

Ms. Kathleen Fenimore

Wells Fargo Foundation

Mrs. Ann G. Sickles

Mr. James Adams

Molly Costigan and The MorelandAuxiliary

The Woman’s Club of Wyncote

The Hearts to Hands Quilters

Mrs. Darcey LintonIn Honor of Pam Callantine

Ancillae-Assumpta Academy Studentsand Mrs. Cecelia Datto

Addisville Reformed ChurchAddisville H2Os and AwesomeAddisville

Mr. and Mrs. Timothy Trautmann

The Nicholas and Eileen HearneFoundation

Arcadia University Holiday Card Fund

Abington Junior High SchoolIn Memory of Grace Packer

Mrs. Alice Birkbeck

Merck Company FoundationIn Memory of Ari Scheck

Abington Aktion Club

Ms. Crystal WillisonIn Memory of Fred R. Garber

Safe Harbor Families

The Rowse and Brill FamiliesIn Memory of Steve Rowse

Mrs. Marilyn A. AmentoIn Memory of Joseph Amento, Jr.

Mrs. Kelly M. VeseyIn Memory of Michael T. Vesey

Mrs. Michele Katz Perloff

Mr. and Mrs. Peter ClarkeIn Memory of Meghan Clarke

Abington Jefferson HealthEmployees

Ms. Elissa A. Della Monica

Mr. and Mrs. Michael B. Walsh

VViiddeeoo KKeeeeppssaakkee

A very specialthank you to JamesAdams, the new bursar for MontgomeryCounty CommunityCollege, associatecontroller for ArcadiaUniversity and talented videographer.

James volunteered many hoursof his time to lovingly create amost special keepsake video forour 2016 Harboring Hope families.Everyone has been enjoying thevideo so much. Parents tell us theywere moved to tears watchingtheir children! We cannot thankyou enough for all you have donefor us! James has a B.S. degreefrom Widener University, a Mastersin Humanities from ArcadiaUniversity and a Masters inBusiness Administration from UticaCollege. He is the author of thebook “Power From Above” andloves acting (he had a part in themovie “CREED”) and film making/video production. James resideswith his family in the Mt. Airy section of Philadelphia.

2

Safe Harbor Program

SAFE HARBOR THANKS OUR DONORS

Natalie Kelly and her family fromAddisville Reformed Church delivertheir blankets from MLK Day of Service.

Thanks to Ancillae Assumpta studentsfor devoting MLK Day of Service to making blankets for Safe Harbor kids.

Page 3: SAFE HARBOR - Abington...4 Safe Harbor Program and I would have had a much smoother transition. I’d also suggest being ready to write down phone numbers, because there’s a high

April Silberman and her three children, Zoe,Piper and Asher, came to Safe Harbor follow-ing the death of her husband, Bret. Here istheir story and some thoughts about theirexperience:

“Bret and I met in 1998 and he was thecutest, sweetest, and smartest person I’d evermet.” After being married for about four years,with two children and their first house, Bretwas diagnosed with a Grade 2 astrocytomafor which he underwent surgery and radiation.He returned to work, and they welcomedAsher, their third child in 2006 and, despitesuffering side effects from various anti-seizuremedications, Bret and the family maintained a positive outlook. He instilled in his children a love of legos, Dr. Who and so many otherexperiences and memories. Unfortunately,over the next few years, the tumor slowlyreturned, and despite two years of aggressivechemotherapy and radiation, he died sur-rounded by his entire family, on May 17, 2015.

A friend of the family called Safe Harbor tohave information sent to April the very nextday, and all three children started at SafeHarbor the following fall.

WWhhaatt wweerree ssoommee ccoonncceerrnnss yyoouu hhaadd ffoorryyoouurr ffaammiillyy aanndd yyoouurrsseellff wwhheenn yyoouu ffiirrssttssttaarrtteedd aatt SSaaffee HHaarrbboorr??

“I wasn’t too concerned about myselfwhen I started Safe Harbor. With three childrenwho were grieving very differently, I was hopingthat Safe Harbor could help me with some ofthe “work” of grieving children. It’s very hardto think clearly and manage your children’ssadness when you have also been emotionallydevastated.”

Zoe, age 14, recalls, “When I first beganattending Safe Harbor, I was incredibly hesitant. My original thoughts were that itwould be awkward and have a very stereotypicalgroup therapy-type feel. I figured that I wouldwalk in, and we would sit in a cute little circlewhere we’d introduce ourselves and thegroup would answer with, for example, “HiZoe”. The first time I attended, I sat down on abeanbag, of all things, and decided to sit andpout. I was intent on sticking with my originalviews, but the moment everyone else startedarriving, all I could do was just keep talkingnonstop!”

HHooww ddiidd yyoouu aanndd yyoouurr cchhiillddrreenn rreeaacctt wwhheenn yyoouu ffiirrsstt ssttaarrtteedd ccoommiinngg ttoo SSaaffee HHaarrbboorr??

“Piper and Asher definitely took somecoaxing each week for the first few months. I think they only went to please me. Zoe, onthe other hand, couldn’t wait to get there. Itwas like a social event but with other teenswho knew exactly how she felt. I was veryoverwhelmed and hopeless when I began.After a few months, Safe Harbor really helpedme to sort out my feelings and begin to forgea new path and future for my family.”

WWhhaatt aarree ssoommee cchhaannggeess yyoouu hhaavvee sseeeenniinn yyoouurrsseellff aanndd yyoouurr cchhiillddrreenn iinn tthhee ttiimmeetthhaatt hhaass ppaasssseedd??

“The biggest change that I’ve seen in mychildren is the feeling of being “different” haslessened…it has helped them to give words totheir feelings which allowed them to moreeasily talk with me. Safe Harbor gave my chil-dren permission to stop worrying about meand grieve their own loss. Safe Harbor hasdefinitely given the kids a larger perspectiveon how bad things can happen in life…not in a negative way, but in a way where theyappreciate the positive parts of their lives.Also, having the support in grieving hasbrought out a compassion in my children thatI never realized was possible in children soyoung. And sometimes…Safe Harbor givesyou, as a parent, the insight into which childneeds more in order to continue to heal.”

WWhhaatt aaddvviiccee mmiigghhtt yyoouu hhaavvee ffoorr ssoommee--oonnee jjuusstt ssttaarrttiinngg oouutt aatt SSaaffee HHaarrbboorr??

Zoe: “Some advice that I’d have for someone just starting out at Safe Harbor is to go in with an open mind. I wish thatsomeone had told me that when I first began,

MEET A SAFE HARBOR FAMILY

3

Safe Harbor Program

Page 4: SAFE HARBOR - Abington...4 Safe Harbor Program and I would have had a much smoother transition. I’d also suggest being ready to write down phone numbers, because there’s a high

4

Safe Harbor Program

and I would have had a much smoother transition. I’d also suggest being ready to writedown phone numbers, because there’s a highchance that you’re going to click with yourgroup members almost instantaneously.”

Piper (now 12): “It’s ok to pass and just listen to other kids. Even if you don’t want to go, you should just go anyway becausesometimes it’s fun and you don’t have to talkif you don’t want to.”

Asher (now 10): “It could be really annoyingat first to talk to people but you should talk sothat you’re not left out. Oh, and you shouldask to go to the Volcano Room…I wish Icould go to the Volcano Room every week.”

April: “When you first start, it’s overwhelm-ing. It feels like each week is another hardreminder of your situation. Keep going…if notfor yourself, do it for your kids because youare the example they will try to emulate. Atnearly every group session, someone will saysomething that you completely understand. It will start to feel like the other group mem-bers understand you more than your closestfriends and family. Make it a priority for thefirst year!”

WWhhaatt hhaavvee yyoouu aanndd tthhee cchhiillddrreenn lleeaarrnneeddwwhhiillee aatt SSaaffee HHaarrbboorr aanndd wwhhaatt lleessssoonnss ddooyyoouu hhooppee ttoo ttaakkee ffoorrwwaarrdd wwiitthh yyoouu iinnttoo tthheeffuuttuurree??

In addition to making it clear that theVolcano Room is a family favorite, theSilberman children responded: ”I learnedsome good strategies for helping me to beless sad. I learned its ok to talk about my daddying and not to be embarrassed. I learned todeal with people who just don’t “get it” andcompare my dad’s death to the death of apet. I learned we’re not the only family wholost someone which is good but really sad. Ilearned that my sadness will always be therebut there will be happiness too.”

April says, “I learned that finding a place ofpeace after an “out of order death” is hardwork. I learned that everyone has a story…some worse than yours and sometimes, yourstory is the worst. I learned that it’s up to me

to help my family move forward and that mychildren will help me to do the same. Thebiggest thing I’ve learned is that I’m not aloneand there’s nothing better than having a groupof people who understand the depth of myloss.”

IIss tthheerree aannyytthhiinngg eellssee aabboouutt yyoouurr ssttoorryy oorryyoouurr eexxppeerriieennccee hheerree aatt SSaaffee HHaarrbboorr yyoouuwwoouulldd lliikkee ttoo sshhaarree??

I’m so grateful that Safe Harbor was anoption for us. My story is just that, my story.Each one of us has a story and this is such asad piece of it. Even though you are in thedarkest place you’ve ever been, don’t forgetto see the light in your children. It’s still thereand having a place where they can feel nor-mal and safe will help them to shine brightlyagain. This is a bumpy road and grieving neverends but, hopefully, Safe Harbor has given mychildren more tools than I ever could havegiven them on my own.”

WWee,, tthhee ssttaaffff aatt SSaaffee hhaarrbboorr ccaannnnoott tthhaannkkAApprriill,, ZZooee,, PPiippeerr aanndd AAsshheerr eennoouugghh ffoorr tthheettiimmee aanndd eeffffoorrtt tthheeyy ggaavvee iinn aannsswweerriinngg tthheesseeqquueessttiioonnss aanndd sshhaarriinngg tthheeiirr ssttoorryy aanndd eexxppeerrii--eenncceess wwiitthh uuss.. AAss iiss tthhee ccaassee wwiitthh aallll oouurr ffaammiilliieess,, wwee aarree ssoo hhoonnoorreedd ttoo bbee ppaarrtt ooff tthheeiirr lliivveess..

Page 5: SAFE HARBOR - Abington...4 Safe Harbor Program and I would have had a much smoother transition. I’d also suggest being ready to write down phone numbers, because there’s a high

5

This past March, we held our secondHarboring Hope Project. This three-day, mini-expressive arts camp supported 23 childrenages 4–15 and was run by staff and eightdedicated volunteers. Much planning wasinvolved to be sure the kids were given thebest creative and visual arts experience possi-ble. Our expressive arts specialists workedtogether to develop a weekend projectinvolving writing, drawing, painting and collage. Special thank-yous to our talentedvolunteers: Donna and Bob Young, LorieVerderame, Daniel Lipson, Shari Glaskin, Joni Patras, Jena Braitman and Julia Spoor.

On Friday night, all the participants weretaken on a journey through meditation andthen asked to write a Haiku about their ex-perience. They then expanded those wordsvisually into a “grief diagram.” With their haikuin mind, they drew an outline of an imagethat they associated with their words andexperience. With tracing paper placed overthe image, the participants then used words to replicate the image. The end result is adrawing created just out of words. The kidsdid an amazing job, were focused and veryproud of their end results.

The participants then took their experienceone step further on Saturday when theyspent the day creating a beautiful painting oncanvas. They were prompted to refer to theirgrief diagram from the previous night andpick a specific word, image or general feelingabout their diagram. They then had theopportunity to create a special painting thatcentered around this word, image or feeling.They were also offered some alternatives forinspiration such as; create a memory theyhad with their loved one or create this pieceof artwork as a “gift” to their loved one. Therewere many directions each child/teen couldtake this activity, which resulted in eachpainting being beautifully unique.

Jennifer Schmauk, our art specialist, createda three-step process involving sketching (stepone), painting (step two) and finally embell-ishing with beads, sequins, paper, ribbon, andmore (step three). Each participant had plentyof time to share their finished paintings withthe group as this is always an integral part ofthe process. One child shared, “This picturesymbolizes how the inside is what counts,also things happen for a purpose (good orbad). Like Iron Man, his arc reactor let himbecome a hero.” And another shared: “Mypainting means love does not die.” Indescribing the power of art, Jennifer says,“While on this grief journey, emotions canrun deep and art is a powerful tool thatallows words to transcend to another level.”

“My little sister is aladybug because shealways had her ways withladybugs. After she died,while we were on vaca-tion, a ladybug flew intoour trailer and landed ona special bracelet that had Emmalyn’s asheson it.“

“My painting is a night sky with a tree that is still growing which resembles me. When Imade this I was thinking of my dad and howhe always told me that I don’t have to be

perfect and that I’m unique.” All works of art will be displayed at a special

art exhibit and poetry reading to be held atAbington Hospital-Jefferson Health this May.Participants will have an opportunity toproudly display their art for family and friendswhile being given a chance to share whatinspired their individual creations. Meanwhile,our youngest participants (ages four to six)created their own special grief stories usingcollage, and, of all things, shaving cream!Their meaningful collage picture-poems tell a story of their grief journey and will be dis-played alongside the painted canvases of theolder participants.

It was extremely rewarding to see eachchild put so much thought and feeling intoevery work of art. We look forward to toast-ing them at our Harboring Hope Art Exhibitand Reception.

CONNECTING HEARTS THROUGH POETRY AND ART

Safe Harbor Program

An exciting addition toour weekend project was avisit by local drummer, JoshRobinson. He visits grief campsthrough-out the countryand works his magic inhelping kids explore the“language of drumming.”Kids shared memories andspecial messages during hisworkshop and even got tomake their own large drumto take home. Josh’senthusiasm was infectiousand every participant, nodoubt, was amazed at howexpressive they could be!We look forward to havinghim return for Camp Charlie.

An example of a 6-year-old’s grief journeyas expressed through picture poetry.”

Page 6: SAFE HARBOR - Abington...4 Safe Harbor Program and I would have had a much smoother transition. I’d also suggest being ready to write down phone numbers, because there’s a high

Whenever we, at Safe Harbor, receive acall from a guidance counselor or familymember of a grieving child who is unable,due to transportation or scheduling reasons,to attend our regular evening groups, it isonce too often. It has long been a desire onour staff’s part to extend our reach into thecommunity, especially to our area schools.Over the past year we have gotten closer toachieving this goal. In 2015, Michelle Balcer,our program coordinator and music therapist,was able to start a peer support group whichmet for just over an hour every other weekduring the school day at Hatboro-HorshamHigh School. This group continued to meetthis school year as well, and acted in manyways as a pilot program to explore the bene-fits and challenges this type of group canpresent. While this initial group was quitesmall at times, averaging about five regularparticipants, the bonds formed betweenthese students and their increased comfortlevel of sharing with one another about theirstruggles with their grief, has been encour-aging. In fact, as this group was coming to aclose, one participant who had had a partic-ularly difficult time sharing with the groupthat her friend had died by suicide, not onlyfound the courage to do so but was able todiscuss with others in the group about howgreat it had been to get to the point of feel-ing comfortable enough to discuss this andother sensitive issues.

In January of this year, we received a call from a counselor at Bensalem SchoolDistrict asking whether we would considerrunning a group in one of their schools. Shehad found so many students there strugglingwith recent deaths amongst family andfriends and was concerned that the grief ofthese students was affecting their ability tofocus. We teamed up with this SAP coun-selor to initiate a peer support group withinthe school. Instead of an on-going, opengroup where students can join at varioustimes throughout the year, this particulargroup would be a closed, eight-week pro-gram. Michelle and Heide Marcelis, our program coordinators, set about creating a curriculum to fit that time-frame to helpguide the students through the tasks ofgrieving, along with getting comfortable with one another as a group. It was a greatsuccess!

Participants in this group showed us,through their reactions to these activities aswell as sharing within the groups, that we

were hitting the mark. One young man inparticular who had begun as a shy, reservedparticipant, by the end was able to tell usthat this group was the only place he couldtalk about how much he misses his brotherwho had died in an accident. At home, thepain is still so great that a code of silence ispervasive and unbreakable. This is exactlywhy we exist.

One key element to the successes ofboth these groups has been the cooperationof the counseling departments at theseschools. As you can imagine, a great con-cern to us is how to make certain these students will receive the needed support toallow them to deal with grief issues in themidst of their school days and then be ableto return to class, and for this, the coun-selors were critical. There were also a fewexamples of students who were able toshare very personal issues relating to theirhome lives and even self-harm, which mightotherwise not have been disclosed. Theschool counselors were then able to bemade aware and provide the necessary follow-through to make sure these studentsreceived the help they so needed.

As a result of the positive responses fromthe students and guidance counselorsinvolved in the programs, we are currently in the process of applying for a grant toexpand our School Outreach Program. Weare hopeful that, should funding becomeavailable for the needed staffing and materialsfor such a program, our mission to providegrief support to children and teens in ourcommunity, free of charge, can be expandedto better meet their needs. In the meantime,the incredible satisfaction of knowing wewere able to help the students in these twogroups has certainly been a reward onto itself.

SAFE HARBOR’S SCHOOL OUTREACH

6

Safe Harbor Program

Page 7: SAFE HARBOR - Abington...4 Safe Harbor Program and I would have had a much smoother transition. I’d also suggest being ready to write down phone numbers, because there’s a high

7

Safe Harbor Program

TELLING ONE’S STORYHearing the phrase “Telling Your Story” can

sound extremely daunting to the participantsat Safe Harbor. “What does it mean?” “What’sthe purpose?” “Why do I have to share?” areall questions that can run through a partici-pant’s mind when their facilitators bring upthis phrase during the support group year.While it sounds scary and like something theydon’t want to do, this topic is one that is veryimportant in the grief process.

Each participant at Safe Harbor, from theyoungest to teenagers, is given the uniqueopportunity to tell “their story” of the death of their special person. The purpose behind“Telling One’s Story” is that it allows partici-pants to share the details they remember, thedetails that are important to them, and mostimportantly, it allows participants a chance to open up about the death without fear ofinterruption or restriction in what they decideto say. For many participants Safe Harbor isthe one place they feel comfortable enoughto share personal details about the death. For others, Safe Harbor is the only place theyactually can open up about the events sur-rounding their special person’s death. Thisimpactful topic also gives participants anopportunity to start to process the death in away they may not have been able to do before.

As always, at Safe Harbor, participants areallowed to share as little or as much as theywant to with the group. Each participant’s story is different, and each participant’s reac-tion to this topic is different. No matter howmuch or how little is shared; just being givenan opening to share “their story” is whatmakes this activity so important.

Within the group setting, hearing fromgroup members who have similar stories,once again reiterates that the child is notalone in his or her grief, and that others aregoing through similar experiences. Group participants are encouraged to join in withquestions or comments about a related experience or feeling. This enhances the ideathat participants are not alone in their grief,and that how they are feeling is “normal.” Inaddition to group members pointing out similarities, facilitators will reinforce the sharedexperience of group participants by identifyingand referring to the parallels between storiesand feelings. Part of what makes group sospecial is that our groups offer peer supportand are always talking about similar feelingsand experiences during each session, and“Telling Your Story” reinforces the actual

support and safety that group participantsprovide to one another.

There are various ways to help childrenopen up and begin telling their stories. Oneparticular activity that has been done in multi-ple groups, of all ages, is the Shaving CreamActivity. The chance to get messy and havebusy hands, while also sharing emotionaldetails about their special person, allows par-ticipants to feel comfortable enough to share.It also allows those listening to process someof the intense details that may come out as aresult. In addition, this project ends with avery positive message on an otherwise heavynight.

For the first part of this activity, participantswrite a positive word or phrase on a piece ofpaper. (Examples: a hopeful or powerfulword, a word that brings them joy, a note totheir loved one, their loved one’s name, etc.).These pages are then collected and put asidefor later in the night.

Each participant receives a generous help-ing of shaving cream. They have a chance toplay around with the shaving cream, and feelit on their hands. While they are playing withthe shaving cream, we take this time to dis-cuss any feelings surrounding the death oftheir loved one. We help them tell their storyby asking them questions such as: “Whodied?” “How did you find out?” “Is there any-thing you want to share about the death orthe timing around the death?” We allow themto guide the conversation and ask follow upquestions. As with any activity, participantscan always pass, and the facilitators only fol-low up as much as the individual participantallows, ensuring he or she always feels safeand comfortable while discussing the death.

Once every participant has an opportunityto share as much or as little as they want, wecreate a mound with their remaining shavingcream and add food coloring. Creating amarble effect, each child gets to swirl andwatch their shaving cream change colors, a calming routine after sharing and hearingsome intense details with the group.

The participants then carefully place theirpaper (sentiment side toward shaving cream)onto the shaving cream and gently pushdown. When they pull their special word outof the shaving cream, they find a beautifulpiece of inspiring art, some lightness andhope as the continue their grief journey.

These examples of theshaving cream activitydemonstrate the hopefuland joyous words that ourparticipants are able totake home with them.

Page 8: SAFE HARBOR - Abington...4 Safe Harbor Program and I would have had a much smoother transition. I’d also suggest being ready to write down phone numbers, because there’s a high

NONPROFIT

U.S. POSTAGE PAID

PERMIT NO. 2328

JENKINTOWN, PA

Abington Hospital–Jefferson HealthSafe Harbor Program1200 Old York RoadAbington, PA 19001

A lighthouse is a beacon,a light in the darknessfor lost or weary travel-ers. We have chosenthe lighthouse as theSafe Harbor logo. Itrepresents our com-mitment to providingthe bereaved with asafe place to feel sup-ported and understoodby others and hope forfinding a light throughthe pain of their loss.

Safe Harbor strives to teach kids a variety ofself care skills that they can take with thembeyond group and into daily living as they nav-igate the stress of growing up while carryinggrief. Someone who understands this missionis the newest member of Safe Harbor’sexpressive arts team, Kristin Hannings. Ourteam now includes music, art, drama, danceand yoga! Each of these modalities involvesself-reflection, creativity and a healing mind-body connection.

Kristin has been an educator for 13 years(currently teaching English and Dramatic Artsat Hatboro Horsham High School) and hasrecently begun teaching yoga to both adultsand children. She is a former Safe Harbor facil-itator and thus trained in our philosophies andapproach to bereavement peer support groups.She was able to jump right in with the appropriategoals in mind as well as the necessary compas-sion and knowledge of trauma-informed carenecessary when working with this population.

If you are interested in yoga with Kristin foryourself, or just have any questions for her, shecan be reached at [email protected]. Kristinsays she is, “considered an RYT-200, meaning I am a yoga teacher registered with the YogaAlliance. I have also been trained in Chair Yoga.”

When asked if she had a favorite quoteabout yoga, Kristin replied, “I like the expres-sion one often hears in class: ‘This Breath, ThisMoment.’ This phrase/mantra reminds us tofocus not on the past or the future- but ratheron what is happening now. This attention tothe present moment (or mindfulness) can betranslated into our lives off the mat. I use thisphrase to remind me to stay present and tosimply breathe when life feels challenging.”

Due to the overwhelming positive responsefrom kids and facilitators, we are excited towelcome Kristin back to visit even more groupsnext year. Kristin reflects on a fun experience:“I've thoroughly enjoyed all of the groups I'veworked with—but the teens in particular wereso cute. There were mostly guys in that groupand seeing them participate and step out oftheir comfort zone was super helpful!”

SAFE HARBOR’S VERY OWN YOGI