DOOMWATCH

WASTED

By Grant Foxon

“Life can be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards”

KIERKEGAARD.

New Waste Incinerator. Ellesmere Port 21:28

Colin Hedges didn’t really mind his job. He had just learned that day that things were

going to get more difficult. Colin and most of the staff had to be trained whilst the

facility was being built. The job seemed straightforward, then today in the staff

meeting a huge book full of new rules and regulations was about to be introduced.

Colin realised he wanted a new job.

Colin’s shift would be over in 32 minutes. Shame he would be unconscious in

4 minutes. Out of nowhere Colin’s cough that he believed to be related to hay fever

came back with a vengeance. Very quickly he started to cough up blood. He tried to

shout but couldn’t. In the end he fell to the ground, his body began to contort like the

dying moments of a puppet’s strings being cut. Fellow members of staff soon found

him. His mind consumed, like his body with dioxin emissions…

Timmons felt insecure. He found the well-oiled machine he was a part of a

comfort and indeed a pleasure. But now things were changing. And he could feel

things moving fast. He sensed something big was out there just beyond his peripheral

vision. He also sensed it was bad. He was beginning to sense that Whitehall were

spying on everyone. But why? Timmons thought. Was it procedure? Was it paranoia

or was there a legitimate reason? This uncomfortable presence remained outside

Timmons field of vision. More uncomfortable thoughts entered his mind. How easily

Adam Quist had been made head of Doomwatch and Dr Ridge’s continued presence.

There was “something” happening. This sense of doubt and uncertainty did not sit

well with Timmons. They were two feeling that he could certainly live without and

now Quist no longer wanted him there. Would this mean he would be reassigned? If itwere paranoia then would certain sanctions be secretly put in place regarding me?Timmons pondered these unpleasant questions. He then gazed at himself in the

mirror. He always felt a strange sense of pathos and self pity, when he looked at

himself. Sure, he had a good job but that is all he was. A “suit”. A means of one series

of commands to be passed on. If Timmons were to die today, he would be replaced

quickly. Outside of work he didn’t really exist. There was no real social life or

friends, hobbies and little family for that matter. He might as well remove his own

flesh and hang that up on the coat hanger too when he’s done at the end of the day.

The unofficial meeting was held at Ridge’s third favourite coffee shop. The

reason being that he didn’t want to taint the happiness with which he regarded the first

two coffee shops. In attendance were Paul, Miranda, Eve and himself. The discussion

was about Adam and more important and worryingly, his drinking habit. Ridge had in

the early stages played down Adam’s problem. It was expected of a man of Ridge’s

age and experience to be more acceptable but not Adam. Because Adam wasn’t

committing any crimes, well except for a heightened sense of sarcasm. The drinking

was increasing and Adam was spending noticeably less time at Doomwatch and more

time in drinking establishments or at home consuming vast quantities of alcohol. It

was all getting out of hand. Ridge was only too aware how difficult a role Doomwatch

plays in society and knew also that no one else would want to take it over. With a new

government determined to make cut backs the future was not looking good. All it

would take was one remotely zealous inspector to have a brief chat with Adam and

bang! No more Doomwatch.

“But isn’t the problem that we can’t even begin to

help him if he wont help himself?” Miranda asked.

“Then we have to get through to him” Ridge replied.

“Easier said then done though” Paul chipped in.

And so the conversation continued but it kept returning to the same basic factor. How

can you help a man deal with alcoholism if he doesn’t want the help? The others

asked Ridge about Adam’s father. Ridge couldn’t think of Dr Spencer Quist without

smiling.

“He was a great man. A genuine genius. That doesn’t

mean we always agreed on things. And he could be

stubborn”. Ridge answered.

“The boss is certainly that”. Paul said.

Adam was lying on his bedroom floor. He looked up at the ceiling of his cottage. So

strong was his stare that it looked as if he was looking through the ceiling into the sky.

The alcohol and tablets he had taken were now swirling in his mind. He closed his

eyes.

The first thing Adam was aware of was strange colours. Then the sounds then he

realised he had arrived at an elaborate gothic temple. Then he became aware of a

name for this building.

THE COURT OF THE INNER DIALOGUE

Adam ventured inside. There he found himself sitting in the docks. He glanced at the

jury. He very quickly saw them as Timmons. They all shared his blank dedicated

faces. The prosecuting council stepped forward. Adam knew the face that was smiling

gleefully back at him. It was Clive Sellers.

“Hello there Adam, I’ve been waiting to see you again”.

Adam was dumbfounded unable to answer. He suddenly felt very afraid. The defence

council then stepped forward. He recognised the figure before him. It was his father.

“Hello Son”.

“Father?” Adam replied.

Dr Spencer Quist smiled reassuringly.

Suddenly, the booming voice of the judge echoed forwards. Adam turned to see the

rotund figure. A big bloated body and empty face.

“You have neglected your psychology Quist!”

The judge roared.

“What crimes am I guilty of?” Adam asked unsure.

The judge smiled and turned to Clive Sellers.

“We haven’t decided yet Quist. But we shall”. Clive

spoke slowly and carefully.

Now Adam knew that there could only be one outcome of the trial. His guilt, and

death. Outraged Adam pointed to Clive Sellers.

“This trial is bogus! The prosecuting council is a

killer!”

Clive laughed off Adams accusation.

“Your honour, I think you’ll find that I am not like

other men. The commonly accepted rules of

morality and propriety do not apply to me”.

The judge nodded in agreement.

“Sustained!”

“Thank you your honour”. Clive smiled.

Adam was horrified and looked to his father.

“Dad…help me”.

“I’m trying to son. Please believe me. I’ve always

tried”.

“Objection, the defence council is a killer!” Clive

screamed and then laughed. Dr Spencer Quist stood tall and proud.

“I’m nothing like you”.

Clive smiled hoping he would say that.

“Your honour, Dr. Spencer Quist participated in the

development of the atomic bomb which when dropped

in 1945 in Japan killed 14,0000 in Hiroshima and

8,0000 in Nagasaki. I find it rich that the accused and

his council impugn my character!”

The jury nodded in agreement. Adam realised the trial was going even worse than he

feared.

“No! No, your ideology shows you have little if any

regard for human life!” Adam pleaded at Clive.

“I do not argue. But remember its your trial not mine”.

Clive’s huge smug smile dominated Adam’s every thought.

“Your honour, the prosecution has stated that this is

no longer a case for morality or actions, but

personality. And the accused his indicted that he has

potential to be any number of things, I mean, we only

have to look at the defence council his father the late

great Dr. Spencer Quist to see that. But instead he

chooses a different path. One of stagnation which can

only lead to negativity, paralyses of the imagination and

death”.

The jury howled at the prosecution council’s argument. Clive raised his hands

theatrically.

“Thank you, your honour!”

Dr. Quist stood tall and proud.

“I’m here not to bargain or plead for my sons right to

existence but to debate. First of all, I denounce the right

of the prosecuting council because after all he blames

my son the defendant for his death”.

Clive Sellers shook his head.

“Over ruled! The prosecuting council shall remain!”

The judge bellowed.

Adam began to feel hotter and hotter. He could feel some form of sickness entering

him. Devouring him. Then he felt an itch and unpleasantness.

“As you see Dr. Quist, judgment like morality, is not

on your side. How will the atom bombs you’re

equations helped build be remembered? What’s your true

legacy to the human race? That pathetic human in the dock or

the greatest weapon of mass destruction ever? The blueprintfor

mankind’s annihilation”.

The jury applauded. Clive Sellers bowed.

“Thank you! Thank you! My adoring jury. I rest my

case”.

Adam slowly awoke on his bedroom floor. He was sweating profusely. He rubbed his

head, which had become one giant home for a migraine. He wondered why he took

the pain killers and drank so much. He then shrugged the thought off.

The meeting was adjourned. Each member of Doomwatch would try to talk to Adam

and hopefully someone could get through to him. It was the last chance to save him

and Doomwatch.

The next day at Doomwatch, Adam didn’t turn up. Timmons was in first and Ridge

had excused Adam and told him that he was suffering from a bad stomach. He knew

Timmons didn’t buy it even though he acted as if he did.

“Your latest assignment”. Timmons handed the

document to Miranda.

“What is it?” She asked flicking through the document.

“A new waste facility. There has been a death. It’s

believed to have been caused by dioxins which can be

released in the waste process”. Timmons said.

Miranda nodded.

“Leave it with us”. Miranda said. Timmons nodded and

left.

“That’s strange. He never made an idle threat or

mentioned Adam.” Miranda said.

“Maybe Timmons isn’t well either” Ridge stated he

then looked at watch.

“Which reminds me. I have to be making a move”. He

walked towards the door, said “Goodbye” and left.

Miranda began to flick through the case file.

“Put the kettle on Paul”. She said.

Paul sighed.

“Why do I always have to be everybody’s Joey?” He

asked rhetorically.

Adam glanced at the clock. Not that the time really mattered to him. He didn’t

want to wallow in his own self-pity. He just wanted to be alone. Detached from the

rest of society. He glanced at his bookshelf in the living room. It was the only thing

that was tidy. He then fell back into his chair. Adam knew he was in a rut. He just no

longer cared.

Timmons sat alone in his car. He stared outside blankly. He wondered if he

was being watched at the moment. He decided to shake the thought off and fired up

the engine and sped off.

Miranda knew little of waste management. However, it didn’t take long before

she began to learn of their uses in incinerators. Apparently the levels of the dioxins

often rose and fell throughout the year, as incinerators did not always run at optimal

levels all year round. Incinerators were checked frequently throughout the year to

make sure that they were working within safety parameters. Generally, the amount

released was between 1.5 and 45g TEQ per tonne. This new incinerator was of the

Ince class and was scheduled for a bi annual service only. There was a very worried

school of thought, which believed that this might produce much higher levels of

dioxin.

The poor man who had died was Colin Hedges. The autopsy was going to be

soon, then they would know more. But what was known, was that he had suffered

from internal bleeding and what appeared to be some form of anaphylactic shock. He

had then slipped into a coma.

Because of the unknown nature of his death his family had been told very

little. Indeed, local government were worried because of the high hopes and much

publicity been placed on the new incinerator. It had boosted employment for the area

and was seen as was even promoted as an eco friendly solution to waste management.

And then the poor man died. If it was due to dioxin levels then no doubt the entire

place would have to be shut down until the investigation was more likely going to be

covered up.

Miranda stood up and rubbed her eyes. Damn you Adam, it should be youdoing this. But once again I’m stepping in to cover you’re your back, whilst you drinkand get more wasted. Miranda realised she was fast losing sympathy for her boss and

instead was feeling resentment. She didn’t see why the team had to keep carrying him

because of his addiction. She looked down at her mobile she then picked it up.

You’ve brought this on yourself. She thought of Adam and then looked up

Timmons number. She hesitated. Should she call or not? The thought was interrupted

by a knock on the door. Eve entered with the data Miranda had requested. Miranda

thanked her and then decided not to call Timmons. For the moment at least.

Adam was still at home. He was now barely awake and worse still, he had

nothing left in the house to drink. He decided later on if necessary to venture down to

the village pub. He walked through to the bathroom and removing his clothes stared at

himself in the mirror. His eyes were burning red. He touched his flesh. It was clammy

and unpleasant. He looked at his teeth. They were stained yellow. He no longer felt

like an acceptable member of the human race. He felt as though he was living in some

sort of Lovecraftian nightmare world. Like he had slid into some darkened stained

dimension. He could feel some long and bloody war being fought inside his head.

Adam brushed his teeth and then had a long overdue shave. He didn’t want to

eat and indeed thinking about food made him feel sick. He then washed himself threw

some clothes on and headed outside.

The cold air bit straight through to his bones. He considered perhaps changing

his mind about going out, when he noticed a familiar face pull up. It was Timmons.

Timmons had recently seen Adam drunk but to see him sober was a chastising

experience. His skin was worn, almost like leather and his eyes were red.

“Social visit is it?” Adam asked.

“Please, I need to talk with you”. Timmons replied.

Adam turned and opened his front door. He then indicated to Timmons to walk inside.

Timmons did then Adam followed him.

Inside Adam’s cottage they headed into the living room.

“Well, what can I do for you Timmons?”

“Look Adam, I know we don’t see eye to eye. I don’t

trust your methods, likewise you with me but…I think

I’m beginning to see patterns in things that I was

oblivious to before. I think I see why you mistrust the

ministry. I’m scared now because of my insecurities”.

Adam could tell Timmons was serious. He had been disturbed by events. Maybe

Timmons is autistic? Adam thought.

“You’ve been playing chess Timmons but only from

the pawns point of view”. Adam said.

“Look, I know Doomwatch does some good. Please

break the cycle Quist”. Timmons pleaded.

Adam smiled.

“For the good of the country?” Adam asked

sarcastically.

“Your needed Adam!” Timmons shouted.

“I’m not patriotic Timmons. There’s so little to die

for these days”. Adam replied.

“How do you live with this…attitude?” Timmons asked.

“It’s easy Timmons. I’m a realist. Have you ever seen a

picture of Picasso’s Guernica? To many people the

painting is a mess. But I recognise the chaos it

represents. I’m not a fool. I know my problems, I just

choose not to deal with them.

Adam finished his words. They had a profound effect on Timmons who for once

accepted even believed in Adam. Timmons just nodded, recognising something of his

own lack of importance in Adam’s words.

“Now I feel like a drink”. Timmons offered. Adam

smiled at this.

“Now you’re talking”.

Miranda had arranged a meeting for herself and the minister for the

environment to discuss the threats posed by incinerators releasing too much dioxin

levels. She wished Adam would return to work. It was then that she received a phone

call from Paul who had gone into town on his lunch break telling her she had to meet

immediately.

Miranda arrived at the location. A huge pub in the town centre. It was there that she

saw Paul standing outside.

“This had better be good”.

Paul didn’t reply, he just pointed inside the pub. Miranda looked. She saw lots of

obese men in England football t-shirts cheering at the TV. Then she saw a sight and

thought she was dreaming.

Inside the pub she saw what appeared to be Adam and Timmons getting drunk and

laughing together.

“You’ve got to be shitting me?” Miranda said.

Paul didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“I thought if I just told you, you would not believe me”.

Paul said. Miranda turned to him.

“You’re right. I’d never have believed it unless I saw it

for myself. What the hell is going on with the world?”

Miranda shouted. It was then that Miranda’s phone rang out to the tune of Sex and theCity. Miranda answered it and Eve was on the other end.

“Miranda, It’s Eve, the pathologist wants to see you to

give you his report”.

“I’m on my way”. Miranda carried on staring at them

through the pub window.

“What do you want me to do boss?” Paul asked.

“Go back to the office and…ask Eve”.

Miranda turned and walked away in complete disbelief.

Miranda hated this part of the job the most. Dead bodies. She wondered if there

wasn’t a certain psychological disorder with pathologists being able to cut their way

through corpses to find out the causes of death. Anxiously Miranda sat. Then a thin

man resembling Hitler approached her.

“Ahh, you’re here for my report on the Hedges

fellow?” He asked with complete disinterest.

“Yes I’m Miranda from Doomwatch”.

“Yes, yes quite. Well Miranda from Doomwatch,

it’s a very interesting corpse. I didn’t think I’d

see one like him”. The pathologist muttered.

“How so?”

“Well, his insides it seems as if he has inhaled a

carcogenic. His lung tissue was in a bad state for

one thing. Also the back of his neck was blistering.

What the devil was he exposed to?” The pathologist

muttered again with only vague interest.

“That is a very good question”. Miranda replied.

The drinking didn’t seem to last long. Although the depressing numbness of

drinking tends to blot out the passage of time as such so it’s hard to tell. The two men

didn’t really become bosom buddies but they at least understood each other better.

Timmons understood Adam’s pain and his drinking problem. For all Adam could see,

there was no real alternative, he had a depressing side to his personality that the drink

appealed to. Even leading Doomwatch wasn’t enough to break the habit. For the first

time Adam understood Timmons sense of self-worthlessness. That he felt he wasn’t a

real human being and just a cog in a well oiled machine. There were no other facets to

him. He too was feeling depressed. Adam asked Timmons if there was anything he

would die for. Timmons replied that there was nothing, just him and his job was all

that was important.

Miranda arrived at her meeting with the Minister for the Environment. She sat

in his office flicking through various scientific magazines when he suddenly

appeared.

“Ahh greetings! hello there Mrs?” The minister asked

patronisingly.

“Call me Miranda”.

“As you wish Miranda ,please come through”.

Miranda’s first thought was bewilderment. The office was the most ornate elaborate

affair she had seen. It felt like a study in a giant mansion.

“Great place you have here”. Miranda commented.

“Well, it has its uses. So what’s the problem?” The

Minister asked smiling. His smile soon left when he saw images of the dead man

Hedge’s lungs.

“And this is?”

“That is Colin Hedges, he was perfectly fit and healthy.

Then he recently got a job in the new incinerator plant

at Ellesmere Port and it was his internal organs that

got incinerated”.

The minister looked up.

“It’s a shame but if the safety features were used I fail

to see how this has happened”.

“The dioxin levels were way too high. The new style

plants are checked biannually. Which means men like

Mr Hedges were working in toxic levels. The

pathologist had thought Mr Hedges was exposed to a

deadly cathogenic when he performed the autopsy”.

The Minister leaned back.

“I see and the official view of Doomwatch is that the

plant should be closed?”

“For the time being at least minister. Don’t you agree?”

“Quite. You do realise how vital a new incinerator is

in that area don’t you?”.

Miranda couldn’t believe the ministers attitude.

“More vital than human lives?”

The Minister studied Miranda for a moment.

“You’re right. I’ll see to it immediately. Thank you for

raising this issue Miranda”.

The Minister stood up and shook Miranda’s hand. She then left. The Minister picked

the photo up off the table scrunched it up and annoyed, threw it in the bin.

The next day Adam returned to Doomwatch. Shaved and feeling excited. He

walked in early and was amazed to see Miranda already there hard at work.

“You’re early.”

“Yes I’ve had to be since you went awol. Why are you

here Adam?”

“I’m back”. Adam threw up his arms. Miranda just

looked at him.

“Great”. She replied sarcastically.

“Look, I know I was a dick to just go like that but I’m

back now. And raring to go”.

“And drinking?”

“Miranda, I can’t promise to stop that. I just can’t. Not

today”.

“You’re an alcoholic Adam”.

Adam wasn’t going to get annoyed.

“Please Miranda, another chance?”

For better or worse Miranda decided to give him the chance.

THE END