Roles What does of a Parent - Oklahoma Parents...
13
Roles of a Parent What does it mean to be an advocate for my child?
Transcript of Roles What does of a Parent - Oklahoma Parents...
Roles of a ParentWhat does it m
ean to be an advocate for my child?
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
1
I LOVE M
Y KIDDO!
Some Children require different levels of
support.
Your child may
face challenges
not experienced by other children…
and you,
as primary caregiver,
will need to develop additional skills
and strategies to support them!
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
2
How M
any Hats
Can You Wear?
Advo
cate
Champion and Spokesperson
Advocate
You are the ch
ampion
of your child’s success!
You prom
oteyour child’s
needs.
You are the prim
ary spokesperson
for your child!
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
3
Mom
ma Bear!
How Do I “Fight” W
ithout Hitting?
Understand the rules.
Learn about your child.
Share inform
ation about your child with the team
.
Ask how
to work w
ith your child at home.
Partner w
ith the school against the “problem”.
Work W
ith the TEAM
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
4
If you attack, then others will defend.
So What Can I D
o?
Start with the right m
otive.
Work as a team
.
Problem solve together.
Keep it simple.
Team tag!
See the team as “hum
an”.
Learn to communicate effectively
Listen!
Stick to the facts.
Stay on track!
Things to Keep in Mind
Ed
ucational outcomes are im
proved w
hen families,
schools and service providers w
ork together effectively.
Training and
support helps us learn together and
problem solve in w
ays that are more responsive to
individual students’needs.
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
5
ListeningSeek first to U
ndersta
nd, th
en be U
nderstood
!
Is Listening just Hearing?
Follow
ing the thoughts and
feelings of others
to understand
what they are saying
from their perspective, fra
me of reference,
or point of view
.
D
isciplined Skill.
C
onveys DIGN
ITY & RESPECT!
Com
munication L
oopS
enderR
eceiver
Message
Reflective
Listening
Filtering Lenses
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
6
Listening is a disciplined skill
You can’t d
o two things at once
if one of them is listening.
You can’t listen if you are trying to
figure out what to say.
You can’t listen if you are assum
ing.
Positions & Interests•
Position:
Specific solution p
roposed
to resolve p
roblem
–the
“Wha
t”•
Interest:
Underlying rea
l need/
desire tha
t gives position its
life (beliefs, va
lues, expecta
tions, fears,
priorities, hopes, concerns) –
the “Why”
•Depositioning:
Why is tha
t solution so im
portant to you?
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
7
Finding the Interests
•W
hat need is the person taking this position attem
pting to satisfy?•
What is m
otivating the person?
•W
hat is the person trying to accom
plish?•
What is the person afraid
will happen if a d
emand
is not fulfilled?Finding the
Interests
Question, question, question…
•"W
hy is that solution so important for you?
“
•W
hy are you suggesting…
?•
"Wha
t would you a
ccomp
lish in getting wha
t you w
ant?"
•"W
hat if that did/didn't happen?”
•“How
will you be affected
by…?
”
•“Im
agine that you got ___________; what w
ould be taken care of?”
Summ
ary: Interest-based Negotiation
A
ims not to change the other person, but to
change negotia
tion behavior
Shifts from
”your position versus mine
”to “you and I versus the problem
”
Involves a
mutua
l exploration of interests to yield
m
ore creative options.
Uses objective criteria
Adapted from
Highnam
, K. (2001). Interest-based negotiation,
CSSE
A 2001 F
all Conference and A
GM
. Surry B
.C, C
anada. CS
SE
A; F
isher and Ury, G
etting to Yes.
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
8
What stands in the w
ay?
Hum
an Nature
We can som
etimes have trouble m
aking a difficult situation safe for each other to really talk about the issues.
We let our em
otions take over our heads!
Stick to the facts!
Keep the right m
otive in mind!
Stay on the task at hand.
Understanding the S
tory
W
e organize our experiences in narrative form.
W
e use stories to make sense of our our lives
and our relationships.
O
ur stories are influenced by social and cultural contexts.
W
e act on the stories, shaping the direction of the plot.
S
tories are not designed to tell the scientific truth.
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
9
The Ladder of Inference
Observable data and
experience
We select data
We add m
eaning
We adopt beliefs and feelings about the situation or person
Th
e Reflexive
Lo
op
Our beliefs
influence the data w
e select when w
e find ourselves in sim
ilar circum
stances. We
tend to select data that supports our beliefs
Ch
ris Arg
yris
We take action based on
these beliefs and feelings
Observe/select data
Add
Meaning
Adopt
beliefs and feelings
We take action
based on beliefs and feelings
Conflict S
tories are S
tuck Stories
S
tuck conflict stories become sim
ple and fixed.
Judgm
ent and accusations are tightly woven
into the characters.
T
he stories are rehearsed and edited.
T
he storyteller experiences the story account as true.
T
here are truths about the storyteller em
bedded within the story.
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
10
Deconstructing the S
tory
G
et back to the facts –W
hat did I see/hear?
A
nalyze your story –W
hat is the story I told myself?
W
hat was m
y emotional response –
How
did my
story m
ake m
e fee
l?
W
hat were the resulting behavior –
How
did I choose to act?
W
hat impact did m
y behavior have on the other person?
A
lternate Story
-H
ow else m
ight I have chosen to interpret the facts
Reflective Questioning
Observe/select data
Add
Meaning
Adopt
beliefs and feelings
We take action
based on beliefs and feelings
What did I see/hear?
What is the story I told m
yself?How did m
y story make m
e feel?How did I choose to act?
What im
pact did my behavior have on the other person?
How else m
ight I have chosen to interpret the facts?
Define M
utual Purpose.
Why are w
e meeting today?
What are w
e meeting about?
It may seem
obvious, but it should be stated and
discussed.
When things get “stuck” –
go back and state why you
all are there today. Get
back on track.
To revise a behavioral plan? To make a m
anifestation determination?
To determine placem
ent?
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
11
State My Path
VitalSm
arts
Begin
with a good
motive.
Start With Facts
As I understand it…
.
Tell Your StoryI’m
beginning to wonder if …
It’s starting to appear that…I’m
not sure about this, but it seems to m
e that…I could be w
rong, but it looks to me as if …
.I thought w
e had agreed that…..
Ask H
ow Others See It?
Do you see it differently?
Did I m
iss something
What’s you point of view
on this?How Do you see it?
Is that what’s going one?
Listen and Give Feedback
1.You say that you w
ould like to place my child hom
ebound until he is able to behave better? W
ho will be w
orking with him
to learn to behave better?
2.How long do you think he w
ill be on a homebound program
?
3.Is there a plan in place to help him
return to school?
1.How long w
ould be home? W
ho is supervising the plan?
2.I understand your concerns are …
.(list what you know
them to be). M
y concern is that …
..(state the concern, the fear etc. My child w
ill not have appropriate access to a daily education.
3.Have you exceeded your ability to understand and w
ork with m
y child at school? If so, do you feel that school w
ould benefit from having a behavior
consultant?
Ideas are like
rabbits.
John Steinbeck.
Yo
u get a co
uple
and learn
how
to h
andle th
em--
and pretty so
on
yo
u h
ave a dozen
.
OPC Statew
ide C
onferen
ce
Jo Anne B
lades
12
Special Education Resolution CenterJo A
nne Bladesjo.pool@
okstate.edu888‐267‐0028918‐270‐1849
Feel free to call any time to talk. I can brainstorm
ideas, try and give you options to resolve disputes…
..
