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R I D D L E S

1. A man was driving a black truck. His lights were noton. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing thestreet. How did the man see her?It was a bright, sunny day.

2. Do you say, "Nine and five is thirteen," or "Nine andfive are thirteen" ?Neither. Nine and five are fourteen.

3. How can you tell the difference between a can ofchicken soup and a can of tomato soup?Read the label.

4. Why did the kid put his clock in the oven.He wanted to have a hot time.

5. Why did the nutty kid throw a bucket of water out ofthe window?He wanted to make a big splash.

6. Why did the nutty kid throw a glass of water out of

the window?He wanted to see a waterfall.

7. Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of thewindow?He wanted to see a butterfly.

8. Why do firemen wear red suspenders?To keep their pants up.

9. Why do postmen carry letters?Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.

10. Why do we buy clothes?Because we can't get them free.

11. Why does a mother carry her baby?The baby can't carry the mother.

12. What asks no question but demands an answer?A doorbell or a ringing telephone.

13. What belongs to you, but is used more by others?Your name.

14. What can run but can't walk?Water.

15. What can you break without touching it?Your promise.

16. What color was Napoleon's white horse?White.

17. What did one wall say to the other?"I'll meet you at the corner."

18. What did the bee say to the flower?"Hello, honey!"

19. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?"You are too young to smoke."

20. What did the big watch hand say to the little watchhand?"Don't go away, I'll be back in an hour."

21. What does an envelope say when you lick it?Nothing. It just shuts up.

22. What does Brazil produce that no other countryproduces?Brazilians.

23. What goes around a garden but doesn't move?A fence.

24. What happens when you throw a green rock in theRed Sea?It gets wet.

25. What has four legs and a back but no body?A chair.

26. What has teeth but no mouth?A comb or a saw.

27. What has two hands but no arms?A clock.

28. What is the difference between here and there?The letter T.

29. What is the first thing you do in the morning?You wake up.

30. What is the first thing you put into a room?Your feet.

31. What kind of bath can you take without water?A sun bath.

32. What kind of star wears sunglasses?A movie star.

33. What kind of table has no legs ?A multiplication table.

34. What people are like the end of a book?The Finnish.

35. What two things can't you have for breakfast?Lunch and dinner.

36. Where can you always find money?In the dictionary.

37. Where did the knights study?In knight (night) school.

38. Who always goes to bed with shoes on?A horse.

39. Who never gets his hair wet in the shower?A bald man.

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40. Johnny's mother had three children. The first childwas named April. The second child was named May. Whatwas the third child's name?Johnny

41. If a plane crashed on the border of the USA andCanada, where should the survivors be buried?You don't bury survivors.

42. A camper leaves her camp, hikes 1 mile south, then

1 mile east where she sees a bear. Then she hikes 1 milenorth to arrive at her camp. What color is the bear?

The camp must be at the north pole, therefore thebear is white.

If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of a roof , will theegg roll to the left side or to the right side?

Roosters don't lay eggs, chickens do.

43. If a south bound electric train is traveling at a rateof 66 miles per hour and the wind is blowing to the northat 35 miles per hour, which way will the smoke blow?

Electric trains don't blow smoke.

44. On which side of a chicken are the most feathers?The outside.

45. A man had to go to an important meeting and hehad to ride his horse to get there. He left on Fridayafternoon and came back three days later on Friday. Howis that possible?His horse's name is Friday

46. What walks on four legs at the beginning then walkson two legs in the middle then walks on three legs in theend?man: 4 legs-baby crawling, 2 legs-standing up, 3 legs-old man with walking stick47. As I was going to Paris I met a man with seven

wives, each wife had seven sacks, each sack had sevencats, each cat had seven kittens. How many things weregoing to Paris?one ('As I was going to Paris')

48. The man who invented it doesn't want it, The manwho bought it doesn't need it, The man who needs itdoesn't know it. What is it?a coffin

49. A father and son were in a car accident. Anambulance took the father to a hospital 4 miles away andthe son was taken to a different hospital which was fiftymiles from the accident. When the son was taken intosurgery the surgeon said "I can't operate on this patientbecause he is my son" How can this be?

It is his mother

50. Take off my skin - I won't cry, but you will! What amI?Onion.

51. Where does Friday come before Thursday?In the dictionary.

52. Q. What kind of house weighs the least?A lighthouse.

53. Q. Which travels faster - heat or cold?Heat, because you can catch a cold.

54. Q. If two's company and there's a crowd, what arefour and five?Nine!

55. Q. I was carried into a dark room, and set on fire. Iwept. What am I?A candle.

56. Q. What is it that leaps and runs and has no feet?A ball.

57. Q. Where can you find roads without cars, forestswithout trees and cities without houses?On a Map.

58. Q. There is an ancient invention still used in someparts of the world today that allows people to seethrough walls. What is it?

A window.

59. Q. What can bring back the dead; make us cry,make us laugh, make us young; born in an instant yetlasts a life time. What is it?A memory.

60. Q. You use it between your head and your toes, themore it works the thinner it grows. What is it?A bar of soap.

61. Q. You can hear me. You can see what I do. Me, youcannot see. What am I?The wind.

62. Q. What is always coming, but never arrives?Tomorrow.

63. Q. At night I come without being fetched. By day Iam lost without being stolen. What am I?A star.

64. Q. What gets bigger the more you take away fromit?A hole.

65. Q. What is pronounced like one letter, written withthree letters, and belongs to all animals?Eye.

66. Q. If you have it, you want to share it. If you shareit, you don't have it. What is it?A secret.

67. Q. I am not alive, but I grow; I don't have lungs,but I need air; I don't have a mouth, but water kills me.What am I?A fire.

68. Q. By Moon or by Sun, I shall be found. Yet I amundone, if there's no light around. What am I?A shadow.

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69. Q. The more you have of it, the less you see. Whatam I?Darkness.

70. Q. I sleep by day, I fly by night. I have no feathersto aid my flight. What am I?A bat.

71. Q. What always goes to bed with his shoes on?A horse.

72. What has feet but can't walk?a yard stick

73. What has eyes but can't see?a potato or a needle

74. What has hands but can't feel?a clock

75. What has ears but can't hear?corn

76. What has teeth but can't chew?a comb

77. Spell mousetrap in three letters.C-A-T

78. . What must you keep after giving it to someoneelse?a promise

79. What do we have in December that we don't havein any other month? (No it's not Christmas)the letter D

80. What is easy to get into but hard to get out of?trouble or a maze

81. What question can never truly be answered yes?Are you asleep?

82. What question must you positively answer yes?What does Y-E-S spell?

83. Think fast: There's an electric train traveling south.The wind is from the north-west. In which direction wouldthe smoke from the train be blowing?

An electric train would not have smoke

84. What is the second most used letter in the Englishlanguage? Hint: it is also the first letter of the most usedword in the English language.. The letter T

85. In an unabridged dictionary, what 3 letter word hasthe most definitions?RUN

86. How can you avoid hitting your fingers when drivingin a nail with a hammer?

Hold the hammer with both hands.

87. Why did the bubble gum cross the road?It was stuck on the bottom of the chicken's foot.

88. If you see a bird sitting on a twig, how could you getthe twig without disturbing the bird?.Wait until the bird flies away

89. When is a yellow dog most likely to enter a house?When the door is opened

90. .What has a head like a cat, feet like a cat, a tail likea cat, but isn't a cat?A kitten

91. Some months have thirty days and some monthshave thirty-one days. How many months have twenty-eight days?All twelve months have 28 days. Some have more aswell.

92. What odd number becomes even when beheaded?the number seven('behead' the s and you have 'even')

93. What five letter word has six left after you take twoletters away?sixty (take away 'ty' and six is left)

94. What is it that someone else has to take before youcan get it?your photograph

95. How can you make a pearl out of a pear?take off the letter 'l' in pearl

96. What is it that everyone requires, everyone gives,everyone asks and that very few take?advice

97. What goes from New York to California withoutmoving?a highway

98. Can you explain how long cows should be milked?The same way you milk short cows

99. What kind of umbrella do most people carry on arainy day?A wet one

100. When a child stomps through a mud puddle, whatis the first thing he does?He (or she) gets wet

101. Why was Washington buried at Mt. Vernon?Because he was dead

102. When do 2 and 2 make more than 4?

when they make 22

103. How many times may 20 be subtracted from 100?only once; any further subtraction would be from asmaller number each time.

104. What is the difference between 100 and 1000?zero (100 has 2 zero's, 1000 has 3 zero's, a difference of1 zero or 'zero')

105. What letter is never found in the alphabet?

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the one you mail

106. Why is the letter E like London?because it is the capital of England

107. What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?teapot

108. What is it that everyone always overlooks?one's nose

109. What is always before you, yet you can never seeit?your future

110. What can be right but never wrong?a right angle

111. Why did the chicken cross the playground?to get to the other slide

112. John is standing behind Mary, and Mary is standingbehind John. How is this possible ?They are standing back to back

113. Why did the chewing gum cross the road?It was stuck to the leg of a chicken !!!

114. Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?He thought it was a high school!

115. What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephantscoming?"Here come the elephants!"

116. Why do elephants never forget?Because nobody ever tells them anything

117. What is at the end of everything?

The letter G

118. What do giraffes have that no other animal has?Baby giraffes

119. What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?Lost.

120. What is white when it's dirty and black when it'sclean?A blackboard.

121. What travels around the world and stays in acorner?A stamp.

122. Who earns a living by driving his customers away?A taxi-driver.

123. If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, whatdoes it become?Wet.

124. What starts with E, ends with E but usually has oneletter?An envelope.

125. What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?Time to get a new fence!

126. What did one wall say to the other?I will meet you at the corner.

127. What runs around a farm but doesn't move?A fence.

128. Why did the farmer give his cow chocolate?Because he wanted chocolate milk.

129. Why did the monkey cross the road?Because there was a banana on the other side.

130. What's brown, has a hump, and lives at the NorthPole?A lost camel.

131. What did one volcano say to the other volcano?I lava you.

132. What is better than a dog that can count?A spelling bee.

133. What did the tree say to the woodcutters?"Leaf me alone!"

134. Did you hear the joke about the playing cards?It's no big deal.

135. What would you get if you crossed a giraffe with arooster?An animal who wakes up people who live on the top floor.

136. Why couldn't Noah play cards on the ark?The elephant was standing on the deck.

137. What makes a chess player happy?

Taking a knight off.

138. Why does a ballerina wear a tutu?Because one-one's too small and three-three's too big.

139. If two shirt collars had a race, which one wouldwin?Neither one. It would end in a tie.

140. What do you get if you cross a sheep and aporcupine?An animal that knits its own sweaters.

141. Do you think it's hard to spot a leopard?No they come that way.

142. What does an aardvark like on its pizza?Ant-chovies.

143. What kind of shot do you give a sick car?A fuel injection.

144. Why are fish never good tennis players?They don't like getting close to the net.

145. What do you get if you cross a parrot and a shark?A bird that talks your ear off.

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 146. Where is the best place to have a bubble gumcontest?On a choo-choo train.

147. Why did the umpire throw the chicken out of thebaseball game?He suspected fowl play.

148. What do rabbits use to keep their fur in place?Hare-spray.

149. What did one octopus say to the other octopus?I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand,hand, hand.

150. What did the judge say when the skunk went intothe court room?Odor in the court.

151. What do you get when you cross a pig with acentipede?Bacon and legs.

152. What has four legs and goes "oom-oom" A cowwalking backwards.

153. What does a police officer use when he arrests apig?Ham cuffs.

154. Where does a hog look when he can't spell verywell?The pigtionary.

155. What's green, has 6 legs, and if it falls out of atree and lands on you, it could hurt?A pool table.

156. What did one rose say to the other?"Hi Bud".

157. Why did the baby cookie cry?Because its mother was a wafer so long.

158. Who can write nursery rhymes and squeezeoranges at the same time?Mother Juice.

159. What does a 300 pound budgie say?"Polly want a cracker, NOW!"

160. What two things aren't eaten for breakfast?Lunch and dinner.

161. What do you call 20 rabbits moving backwards?A receding hare line.

162. Did you hear about the two kids that walked into achurch?It was kind of silly, the second one should have seen itcoming.

163. What kind of beans can't grow in a garden?Jelly Beans.

164. What's gray, has big ears and a trunk?A mouse on vacation.

165. How does the ocean say hello to the sand?It waves.

166. Where do polar bears keep their money?In a snow bank.

167. How do you catch a squirrel?Climb up a tree and act like a nut.

168. Why did the spider cross the road?To get to another web site.

169. What did the postcard say to the stamp?Stick with me kid, and we'll go places.

170. What does a train do with food?Chew, chew.

171. What flower grows between your nose and yourmouth?Tulips.

172. Why did the chicken cross the playground?To get to the other slide.

173. Where can you find an ocean without water?On a map.

174. Why didn't the clock work?Because it needed a hand.

175. Why did the dog cross the road?To get to the barking lot.

176. Why do fish live in salt water?Because pepper makes them sneeze.

177. What question can't be answered with a yes?Are you asleep?

178. What's full of holes but still holds water?A sponge.

179. Why did the chicken cross the road and roll in thedirt, then cross the road again?Because he was a dirty double crosser.

180. How do you hide an elephant in a cherry tree?Paint his toenails red.

181. Some of the Reasons Why People Don't Exercise.....but we think you should exercise anyway!

182. My grandmother started walking five miles a daywhen she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't knowwhere she is!

183. I joined a health club last year, spent about $400.Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

184. I have to exercise in the morning before my brainfigures out what I'm doing.

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185. I don't exercise at all. If we were meant to touchour toes, they would have grown in further up our body.

186. I like long walks, especially when they are taken bypeople who annoy me.

187. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomachcovers them.

188. Is the advantage of exercising every day that youdie healthier?

189. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, startwith a very small country.

190. I don't jog because it makes the ice jump right outof my soda.But seriously, exercise is really good for you.....learnmore about it at:

191. Smoke-Free Kids and Soccer!Amateur Sports192. Why didn't the lobster share his toys?He was too shellfish.

193. Why wouldn't the dog talk to it's foot?It's not polite to talk back to your paw.

194. What kind of wood gets scared?Petrified wood.

195. What do you call someone that keeps talking whenno one is listening?A teacher.

196. Why didn't they play cards on Noah's ark?Noah kept sitting on the deck.

197. What's in an astronaut's favorite sandwich?

Launch meat.

198. What do you call two banana peels?A pair of slippers.

199. Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate!

200. What does Frosty the Snowman eat for breakfast?Snowflakes!