7/28/2019 Ridding Oneself of Jealousy, Hatred, And Resentment

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Ridding Oneself of Jealousy, Hatred, and Resentment

Most of us live our lives with feelings of hatred for certain people and also feeling jealous ofwhatAllahhas granted others in provisions of this life. Such feelings not only rob us of our peace withinbut also hurt us both in this life and the hereafter.

It is reported in the Musnad of Ahmad from Anas, (radi-Allahu-anhu), that he said,

We were sitt ing in th e presence of the Messenger o f Al lah (s.a.w.) one day and h e said, A perso n

is about to arrive from this mountain path who is from the people of Paradise. So a person fromthe Ansar arr ived, h is beard dr ipp ing w i th the water of wudu and hold ing his sandals in his le f thand, and he gave us th e salam. The next day the Prop het (s.a.w.) said sim i lar words and the

same perso n appeared in the same co ndit ion . On the third day th e Prophet (s.a.w.) again said

simi lar words and again th is person appeared in the s ame condi t ion, so when the Prophet (s.a .w.)

left, Abdul lah bin Am r al-Aas fol lowed this perso n and said, indeed I have abused my father and I

swore that I would no t go to him for three days so i f you w ould le t me stay wi th you unt i l those

three days expire, I would do so. He replied, `Yes.

Anas cont inued saying,

So Abdul lah to ld us that he spent three nights w i th th is person yet he did no t see him stand for

the night prayer at a l l . Al l he did was w hen he turned sides on his b ed he would m ent ion Al lah and

make takbir and wo uld do th is unti l he stood f or the Fajr prayer. Abdu l lah said, Except that I

never heard him speak except good. So when the three days were over I was eager to make littleof his action s. I said, O servant of Al lah there was no h atred or disassoc iation betw een my father

and me bu t I heard the Messenger of Al lah (saying on th ree occasions, A p erson is about to

arrive who is from the people of Paradise, and you arrived on those three occasions, so I wishedto stay wi th yo u so th at I may look at your act ions and emulate them. But I have not seen you

perform a great deal of actions, so wh at is i t that has reached you to m ake the Messenger of A l lah

(s.a.w.) say what he said? He replied, `It is nothin g mo re than what you h ave seen, except that Ido n ot f ind in my sel f any dis loya l ty (an imosi ty) toward any of the Musl ims, and nei ther do I f ind

any jealousy for the wealth that Allah has bestowed upon them.

We see from the above hadith that keeping a clean heart rather than one filled with hatred, jealousy,animosity, and so on can be a source of peace in this life and salvation on the day of judgment.

In our daily dealings with people, some of us not only have such feelings about others but we also forsakethem. We should remind ourselves that it is not permissible to forsake a Muslim, because the Prophet(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: It is not permissible for a man to forsake hisMusl im brother for m ore than three days, each of them turn ing away from the other when they

meet. The better of them is the one who gives the greeting of salaam first.(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5727; Muslim, 2560). This applies especially if the believer is a relative because forsakingrelatives is an even worse sin.

We learn from scholars that the only exception of this is in cases where the others company and mixingcan hurt one spiritually and in otherareas of ones life. Ibn Abd al-Barr also said: The scholars areunanimously agreed that i t is not permiss ib le for a Musl im to fors ake his brother for more than

three days, unless there is the fear that speaking to him and keeping in touch wi th him wi l l af fect

ones religious commitment or have some harmful effect on ones spiritual and worldly interests.

I f that is the case, i t is perm issible to avoid him , because peaceful avoid ance is better thanharmful mixing.(Tarh al-Tathreeb, 8/99)

The general principle is that the Muslim must be forbearing and sincere towards his brothers, hemus t be to lerant towards th em and over look the i r mistakes. He should not hasten to adopt a

solution that may cause division and haraam kinds of forsaking.(islamqa.info)

Feeling jealous of others provisions and rizq

To avoid feelings of jealousy of the provisions that others may have, we should remind ourselves thatAllah has apportioned our provisions in this l ife and trying to feel jealous of others is akin to disagreeingwith Allah on His decisions. Consider the following verses from theQuran:

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7/28/2019 Ridding Oneself of Jealousy, Hatred, And Resentment

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Is it they who would portion out the Mercy of your Lord? It is We Who port ion out between themthei r l ive l ihood in th is wo r ld , and We ra ised some of them above others in ranks, so that some

may employ others in the i r work. But the Mercy of you r Lord is b etter than the (weal th of th is

wo rld) whic h they amass. [Surah al-Zukhruf 43:32]

In a hadith narrated by Al-Tirmidhi from al-Zubayr ibn al-Awaam that the Prophet (peace and blessings of

Allaah be upon him) said:

There has come to you the disease of the nations before you, jealousy and hatred. This is theshaver(destroyer); I do no t say that i t shaves hair, but that i t shaves (destroys ) fai th. By th e Onein Whose Hand is my soul , you w i l l not enter Paradise unt i l you bel ieve, and you wi l l not bel ieve

unt i l you love one another . Shal l I not te ll you of that wh ich w i l l strengthen love between you?

Spread (the greeting of) salaam amongst yourselves. (A hasan hadeeth. Jaami al-Tirm idh i, 2434).

Cleaning our hearts of jealousy and hatred

As part of our personal purification efforts, we should constantly work to rid our hearts of such feelings.No one is free from such feelings but we should venture to avoid Satans whispers regarding instillingsuch feelings in our hearts. Shaykh al-IslamIbn Taymiyah said: Nobod y is free from hasad (jealous y),

but the noble person hides it whilst the base person shows it.(Amraad al-Quloob). A person will notbe brought to account for whatever crosses his mind, but he will be brought to account for what he saysand does. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Allah will forgive my ummah fortheir mistakes, what they forget and what they are forced to do. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2033).

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah also said in his book Amraad al-Quloob (diseases of theheart): Whoever finds in himself any hasad towards another has to try to neutralize it by meansof taqw a (piety, consc ious ness of A l lah) and sabr (patience). So he sho uld hate that (the feel ing of

hasad) in himself But the one who does wrong to his brother by w ord or deed wi l l be punishedfor that . The one who fears Al lah and is pat ient , how ever, is not inc luded amo ng the w rongdoers,

and Allaah will benefit him by his taqwa.

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