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The last time I really sat down and examine my thoughts and feelings was when Ihad this project in my Psychology class about Introspection. That was 7 years ago. I am 31 now and I have been re-thinking a lot about my motives, drives, purposes, plans and long-term goals.According to studies, less than 5% of people look within themselves rather thanwithout for answers to problems. Introspection is the process of observing the operations of one's own mind with a view to discovering the laws that govern themind.I have always been governed by the Law of Free Will. God has created man with this attribute. We are creatures that are able to think and decide on our own.There are laws that govern us in all aspects: physical laws, natural laws, man-made laws and the list goes on. But every man is endowed with free will. He hasthe option to uphold or break these laws. However, even if I am governed withthis kind of Law, I am fully aware of the Law of Cause and Effect. If I intentionally break a law, there is an effect, there is a consequence, there is a punishment. To have been gifted with free will comes a great sense of responsibility. There is no right or proper way of breaking a law, I believe. Even ignoranceis not an excuse. I made bad choices in my life and all the more, these mistakes left lessons that gave me more wisdom in using my free will. I am thankful that I have a merciful and loving God who picks me up each time I fall. God canjudge me of the wrong decisions I have made in my lifetime. The organized and systematic laws of man can judge me too and I am well aware of that. But in the

end, what matters most to me is how God sees me though His eyes.Sometimes I find it hard to reconcile the other factors that influence my behavior with the Laws that governs me. There are a lot to consider, a vast multitudeof factors: genetic, culture, family, education, social orientation, trauma, birth order and so on and so forth. Each of these are woven into the tapestry that makes me who I am - that causes me to react to any situation.When I was a lot younger, I use to ask the question: "Why do they ..." But as Imatured I learned to ask myself questions like: "What do I really want?" "Why do I get angry?" "What makes me angry?" Having answered these questions helpedme understand others.

I have taken several psychometric exams and personality tests in order for me understand myself better. Thanks to my Psychology class, I see things differentlynow. Knowing myself better helped me improve the things that needs repair andto discard the things that are a burden to my existence. In one of the tests Itook, it says that I have a Choleric-Phlegmatic (DS) type of temperament. The other test revealed that I have an Introverted Thinking with Extroverted Judgment(INTJ) and the other says I am a left-brain dominant. These types have their own advantages and disadvantages and the knowledge of one's own type has its benefits. I ended up knowing what I need and differentiate it from the things I want.

I am now in a situation where I am asking myself where to land for good as far as my career is concerned. I am now 31 and before I turn 32 I want to be where I

wanted to be. Last year was a turning point in my life when I had to make a big decision as to where my career would lead me. I left my five-year old job to try something new. I went out of my comfort zone to satisfy my curiosity of theoutside world and it was worth it. I came to know what I really wanted and needed at the same time.I want a life that satisfies my needs. If it were only me, I can say I am satisfied with how much I am earning. But considering my three angels, I know it doesn't suffice. My kids' needs are my needs. This is another factor/consideration that I need to think about. I need a job that will guarantee a better future

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for my kids.My motives has always something to do with meetings those needs. It will be sohypocrite of me to say that I don't need much money as long as I am happy with my job. No. I need both but if I were to choose now, I'd choose the former, myhappiness will come later. It will make me happy to provide enough for their needs. It's not hard for an INTJ like me to be happy and to restore energy. I can be happy knowing that I am making a difference. I can be happy when I indulge myself in thinking and reading. I can be happy with mini-achievements. I canbe happy knowing that my kids are doing good in school.In conclusion, all I can say is: I know what I know and more importantly, I knowwhat I don't; I know what I want and more importantly, I know what I need.