BUILDING PERSONAL RESILIENCE

The Wellbeing and Stress Management Training Company

Premier Life Skills Ltd13 Woodlinken Close

Verwood, DorsetBH31 6BP

Tel: 07808 215674Email: info@premierlifeskills.co.uk

www.premierlifeskills.co.uk

Building Personal Resilience

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PURPOSE OF THE COURSEThe aim of this course is to provide individuals with the skills and knowledge to manage their wellbeing and have a wide variety of practical techniques they can use to build resilience, eliminate, reduce and cope with the pressure associated with the ever-changing challenges of the working environment.

Duration: 1-day course

AGENDAINTRODUCTIONS Welcome and Introductions

Overview of agenda and objectivesOpportunity to identify specific needs facing the group

PERSONAL RESILIENCE

MANAGING CHANGE

BREAK

What does resilience mean?What does wellbeing mean to you?Discover your resilience core

Managing the changing work environment

STRESS V PRESSURE The difference between pressure and stressIdentify the early warning signs of stressLearning about your personality traits and learnt behaviours

LUNCH

MINDFULNESS &TOOLS AND TECHNIQUES

TEAM GAME

Mindfulness and relaxation, the benefits and practical applicationLearn ways to bounce back from life’s challengesTools to manage physical emotional and psychological well-being. and build resilienceChallenging thinking patterns

Practicing resilience

ACTION PLANNING To devise an individual action plan to continue managing and building resilienceLook at strategies to keep themselves healthy.

SUMMARY AND CLOSE

OutcomesBy the end of the programmes the delegates will be able to:

Discover their resilient core and develop skills to cope and manage effectively Identify themselves on the change curve Understand the difference between pressure and stress Learn about their personality traits and behaviours Gain short-term coping strategies for work and life Think positively to enhance individual wellbeing and performance Build effective long-term personal resilience Learn about mindfulness and relaxation Challenge thinking patterns Develop tools for an action plan to build resilience and improve well being

Exercise - Resilience

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Personal Objectives

What is resilience?

A short history of resilience

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Personal Objectives

What does the word ‘resilience’ mean to you?

What would you say are resilient characteristics?

Would you say resilience is important? Yes/No

Why (or why not?)

Have you any concerns regarding learning resilient skills?

When people talk about resilience, most of them use the word fairly loosely. Often it’s intended to mean the same as words like ‘hardy’, ‘tough’, ‘irrepressible’, ‘stamina’, ‘stick-ability’ etc. But psychologists use the word with much more precision. For example:

“Resilience is the process of, capacity for, or outcome of successful adaption despite challenging or threatening circumstances.”

(Masten, Best & Garmezy 1990)

“A set of cognitive, behavioural and emotional responses to acute or chronic adversities which can be unusual or commonplace.”

(Neenam & Dryden 2009)

‘Resiliency is armour for the mind.’Official terminology of the word ‘resilience’ from the US Army:

The study of resilience only started 40 or 50 years ago. Back in the 1960’s and 1970’s, psychologists who were studying children growing up in high risk environments realised that a proportion of the youngsters developed well despite the adversities they faced in life. Those who appeared to be thriving psychologically, despite the impact of poverty, poor parenting, hunger or war, were quickly seen as being ‘resilient’, ‘stress-resistant’, ‘survivors’ or even ‘invulnerable’.

Whatever the label, some children were clearly able to adapt to, and cope with, their adverse circumstances. The search was on to find the ingredients that make up resilience. To develop as human beings, we need to be able to cope with what life throws at us, adapt to the situation and continue to develop. If we could bottle resilience, then optimism would increase while depression would decline. We’d save a lot of money on health and social services, and many more people would achieve their goals.

Resilience refers to the ability to adapt to stressful situations. Resilient people are able to adapt to adversity without lasting difficulties, whether in the workplace or in their personal lives.

There are many exercises that you can use, learn and practice to build personal resilience. Not all these exercises will sit comfortably with you at the start and you may choose not to use some of them; that is why there are different exercises in this workbook for your personal use to use away from this workshop today.

The main ingredients of resilience

Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviours, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.

Factors in resilience

A combination of factors contributes to resilience. Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models, and offer encouragement and reassurance to help bolster a person's resilience.

Several additional factors are associated with resilience, including: The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out

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A positive view of yourself and confidence in your strengths and abilities Skills in communication and problem solving The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses

The main ingredients of resilienceDr Karen Reivich is co-author of The Optimistic Child, with Professor Martin Seligman, and co-author of the Resilience Factor. In 2005 she gave a lecture for the Centre for Confidence and Well-Being. In the lecture she talked about her work on resilience. She recounted that when she first started to study the topic she was convinced that people are either born resilient or not. However, as she and her co-researchers become more involved in the topic they realised that  ‘resilient people have the ability to stay resilient’.

Dr Karen Reivich: The Seven ‘Learnable’ Skills of Resilience

1. Emotion awareness or regulation.This is primarily the ability to identify what you are feeling and, when necessary, the ability to control your feelings.  2.Impulse control.  Highly resilient people are able to tolerate ambiguity so they don’t rush to make decisions. They sit back and look at things in a thoughtful way before acting.  3. OptimismThis means having an optimistic ‘explanatory style’ However, it is ‘realistic optimism’ which is important not pie-in-the-sky optimsim. People who are blindly optimistic who, for example, stick their heads in the sand, do not have a brand of optimism which facilitates problem solving: in fact it interferes with it.  So for optimism to help resilience, it needs to be ‘wed to reality’.4. Causal analysis This means the ability to think comprehensively about the problems you confront.  Folks who are resilient are able to look at problems from many perspectives and consider many factors. 5.EmpathyPeople who have high emotional awareness and understand their own emotions tend also to be high on empathy - the ability to read and understand the emotions of others. This is important for resilience for two reasons: first, it helps build relationships with others and then this gives social support.6. Self-efficacyThis is confidence in your ability to solve problems. This is partly about knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are and relying on your strengths to cope. Reivich stresses that this is different from self esteem. In other words, it is not just about feeling good about yourself.7. Reaching out By this Reivich means being prepared to take appropriate risk.  People who are resilient are willing to try things and think failure is a part of life.

Reivich stresses that this is not an exhaustive list, and that you don’t need to be strong on all of the seven skills in order to be given the ‘stamp of resilience’. Indeed she argues that to increase resiliency people simply need to consider which of the factors on this list they are strong on, and to play to these strengths as much as they can. She also argues that the importance of empathy in this list is at odds with what people often think about resilient individuals.  Reivich argues: 'Contrary to some of the myths around resilience, resilient people don’t go it alone, when bad stuff happens they reach out to the people who care about them and they ask for help.' Empathy is vital as it is the glue that keeps social relationships together’.

It is important to reiterate that Reivich argues that while some individuals are naturally inclined to such behaviour and attitudes, everything on this list can be increased by individuals

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if they put their minds to it and embark on the necessary training or change programmes. Reference : Centre for Confidence and Well-Being California.

The Robinson Cooper’s model of resilience has four key components, all of which are influenced by personality and the skills that we develop over time.

http://www.robertsoncooper.comi-resilience report – free resilience report.Being resilient does not mean that a person doesn't experience difficulty or distress. Emotional pain and sadness are common in people who have suffered major adversity or trauma in their lives. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve considerable emotional distress.

Resilience

The research showed that people with a positive outlook on life and who were optimistic about the future tended to lead healthier lives overall.

They were more likely to exercise, eat a good balanced diet and get enough sleep. Yet even when these factors were accounted for, the happier people were still less likely to develop cardiovascular disease. It is thought that a positive attitude to life makes people more resilient to stress and helps them recover more quickly after things like preparing for a speech, the researchers said.

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Changing our mental well-being

You’re never too old to build Emotional Intelligence

A recent study suggests we can learn to regulate and manage our emotions even after we have reached adulthood. You might be competent with spreadsheets, in the kitchen or behind the wheel of a car. But are you competent with your emotions?

“Emotional competence” is the ability to comprehend, manage and express one’s feelings and the feelings of others. It may come as no surprise to learn that emotional competency is linked to better health and more satisfying relationships. That’s great for the emotionally competent folks, but what about the rest of us - can we improve our emotional competency, even after we’ve reached adulthood?

“Modern neuroscience research leads to the inevitable conclusion that we can actually enhance well-being by training that induces neuroplastic changes in the brain.”

Neuroplastic changes affect the number, function and interconnections of cells in the brain, usually due to external factors. Although the positive practices reviewed in the article were not designed using the tools and theories of modern neuroscience, “These are practices which cultivate new connections in the brain and enhance the function of neural networks that support aspects of pro-social behavior, including empathy, altruism, kindness” said Davidson. Davidson has explored the neurological benefits of meditation and said “meditation is one of many different techniques, and not necessarily the best for all people”.

“Cognitive therapy, developed in modern psychology, is one of the most empirically validated treatments for depression and counteracting the effects of stress.”

Overall, he said, the goal is “to use what we know about the brain to fine-tune interventions that will improve well-being, kindness, altruism. Perhaps we can develop more targeted, focused interventions that take advantage of the mechanisms of neuroplasticity to induce specific changes in specific brain circuits.”Brains change all the time, Davidson emphasized. “You cannot learn or retain information without a change in the brain. We all know implicitly that in order to develop expertise in any complex domain, to become an accomplished musician or athlete, requires practice, and that causes new connections to form in the brain. In extreme cases, specific parts of the brain enlarge or contract in response to our experience.” Davidson believes brain training will expand in a similar fashion as has occurred for physical exercise. “Rather than think of the brain as a static organ, or one that just degenerates with age, it’s better understood as an organ that is constantly reshaping itself, is being continuously influenced, wittingly or not, by the forces around us. We can take responsibility for our own brains. They are not pawns to external influences; we can be more proactive in shaping the positive influences on the brain.”

Source: University of Wisconsin-Madison

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Resilience core

Let’s start by looking at your resilience core

You can strengthen your resilience by enhancing your resilience core, which is made up of the eight essential characteristics of resilience:

Purpose

Flexible

Organised

Problem Solving

Empathy

Self belief

Active

Resilience Model

Social connec-tions

Resilience Assessment QuestionnairePeople wishing to build their personal resilience should first establish the areas where they need to concentrate. This can be achieved by completing a questionnaire based on the model above.

Self beliefActivePurposeFlexibleOrganisedProblem solingEmpathySocial

Reference

The Resilience Scale™ is considered to be one of the most accurate instruments currently available to measure resilience. It is used by counsellors, coaches, therapists, researchers and educators all over the world. Developed by Dr Gail Wagnild and used for over 25 years.

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Please read the statements below, and using the scale strongly disagree (1) to strongly agree (5) indicate how the statement applies to your perception of yourself1 I have the knowledge and skills and experience to deal with almost

anything that happens to me1 2 3 4 5

2 I know what’s important to me 1 2 3 4 53 I approach new situations with an open mind 1 2 3 4 54 When faced with new challenges, I am able to take control of the

situation.1 2 3 4 5

5 When I have a problem, I take time to define the problem before deciding what to do.

1 2 3 4 5

6 I have the capacity to laugh at myself. 1 2 3 4 57 I have a diverse network of good friends 1 2 3 4 58 I view change as an opportunity 1 2 3 4 59 I am able to think positively about myself when faced with challenges 1 2 3 4 510

When I look back I can see some clear patterns in my life about the types of choicesI have made

1 2 3 4 5

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I am able to adjust to changes 1 2 3 4 5

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I start each day by working out what needs to be achieved during the day, and I end the day by reviewing what has been achieved, and what needs to be achieved on the next day

1 2 3 4 5

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I perceive the problems and challenges of everyday life as challenges I can solve

1 2 3 4 5

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I can empathise easily with others’ frustrations, joys, misfortunes and successes

1 2 3 4 5

15

I find it easy to form lasting relationships and friendships 1 2 3 4 5

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When an unwelcome change involves me I can usually find a way to make the change benefit myself

1 2 3 4 5

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When I face difficult challenges I can maintain confidence in my own ability to overcome the challenges

1 2 3 4 5

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I know what I want to achieve at work and in life 1 2 3 4 5

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I can easily find ways of satisfying my own and other peoples’ needs during times of change and conflict

1 2 3 4 5

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I keep a ‘to do’ list, and use it every day 1 2 3 4 5

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I try to find the cause of a problem before trying to solve it 1 2 3 4 5

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During stressful and challenging times I can maintain effective relationships with those involved

1 2 3 4 5

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I share the frustrations in life, as well as the successes, with my friends 1 2 3 4 5

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I am able to focus my energy on how to make the best of any situation 1 2 3 4 5

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When I face challenges I look to myself to find ways of rising to the challenge

1 2 3 4 5

2 I know what I need to do to achieve my ideas for personal and 1 2 3 4 5

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6 professional achievements27

I am able to accommodate other people’s needs whilst focusing on achieving my own ambitions

1 2 3 4 5

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When I am uncertain about what to do I write down the choices and my thought about them

1 2 3 4 5

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When I solve problems I identify the links between the problems and other issues that may be around

1 2 3 4 5

30

I value the diverse experiences, skills and knowledge that others have in their interactions with me

1 2 3 4 5

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I regularly participate with friends in social activities where I can relax 1 2 3 4 5

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I believe my own decisions and actions during periods of change will determine how I am affected by the change

1 2 3 4 5

Place your scores in the grid next to the relevant number then add up horizontally to get your total

People with scores of 12 or less in any dimension should consider focusing on building up resilience in that dimension.

TotalSelf Belief

1. 9. 17. 25.

Purpose 2

.

10. 18. 26.

Flexible and adaptable

3. 11. 19. 27.

Organised

4. 12. 20. 28.

Problem Solving

5. 13. 21. 29.

Empathy 6. 14. 22. 30.

Social 7. 15. 23. 31.

Active 8. 16. 24. 32.

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Building resilience In this model of resilience there are 8 features that build and sustain resilience.

1. Self belief. This involves a high level of self confidence and a self belief that one can meet any challenge. Self Efficacy includes the understanding that, while the world is challenging, one has the ability to succeed despite these challenges.

2. Purpose. Resilient people know what they believe in and have a clear idea of what they want to accomplish or create in their life. With a personal vision, however blurred this maybe, people use this as a guide through life challenges, and provides them with hope for the future.

3. Flexible and Adaptable. Being adaptable and flexible enables people to respond flexibly to unknown challenges by seeking out ways of overcoming events, and being able to adapt to the new reality. This reduces the impact of rigidity in the face of a constantly changing environment.

4. Organised. Creating a structured approach to tasks that need completing add to individual ability to maintain personal control in the face of a seemingly chaotic existence, or uncontrollable external events.

5. Problem Solving. The ability to resolve problems enables people to find causes and solutions to adverse events that impinge on daily life. Those who train themselves to enjoy problem solving will enjoy the challenge that adverse events present.

6. Empathy. A key dimension of resilience is an individual’s ability to understand and empathise with others. Resilient people demonstrate the competencies of emotional intelligence: a high level of self and social awareness and the ability to use this awareness to effectively management themselves and their relationships with others.

7. Social. This dimension involves the quality of personal and professional relationships. Resilient people have a strong relationship with selected friends with whom they share ideas, problems, solutions, frustrations, hopes, and so forth.

8. Active. Resilient people actively engage in change. Faced with adverse events, resilient people will be assertive in stating their contribution to the changing situation and will maintain personal control through their assertiveness and maintenance of self efficacy.

………….. how resilient are you currently?

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In answering these questions what have you started to learn about yourself?

Are you willing to change?

“Change is not an event. It is a process of transitioning from the oldto the new, from the familiar to the unfamiliar.”

How change affects individualsThere are many change or transition models. When considering people’s emotional reaction to change it appears that people tend to follow this curve.

At this workshop I have presented John Fisher's ‘Personal Change’ model. It can be seen from the transition curve that it is important for an individual to understand the impact that the change will have on their own personal construct systems; and for them to be able to work through the implications for their self perception.

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Can you see where you are on the transition curve currently?

What will help you to move along the curve if you have got stuck?

Share with your group members the skills you have used to help you become unstuck?

As people we learn habits. Habits are formed when we do repetitive tasks. They are formed to help us cope with the wide variety of information presented to us on a daily basis. It is too much to cope with at a conscious level. To cope with the variety over time we form habits. These habits may be simple routines like the order we get dressed in the mornings, the first few minutes in the workplace.

When this structure or order is changed it impacts us in many ways. It is often the simple changes to routines like this that cause individuals the most problems. It is not the fact that a desk may be now facing a different direction or a new signing-in system has been introduced; it is the break in the pattern that has been enforced on an individual. It is the little things that take time to resolve. As humans we can often deal with the big changes easily; it is the little things that cause us more difficulty. When change is 'imposed' on people they feel they have

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little ownership in the decision; they often feel out of control, leading to feelings of stress and anxiety.

The achievement of sustainable change requires strong commitment to building our emotional resilience. We all have these basic emotional needs in common:

To belong / fit in To be safe

To be valued To be in control

Change initiatives threaten our ability to meet these needs. We have powerful mechanisms, developed through our evolution, to ensure safety and survival. At a basic level, these translate into:

An ‘away’ response (flight) – avoidance, denial, passive resistance A ‘hostile’ response (fight) – attack, active resistance, opposition A ‘towards’ response – acceptance of new behaviour.

These reactions also apply to situations that require us to do something new, or to change our behaviour in some way, even if these responses are not entirely appropriate.

“Arguably, the most demanding reason change is so challenging has to do with why and how people seek control in their lives, and the ways they react to disorder, Securing, maintaining or regaining a sense of control in our lives is a fundamental need, and it translates into a prevailing, though mostly unconscious, preoccupation for most of us.”

“Leading at the Edge of Chaos”Daryl Conner

Stress v. pressure and its effects

What is stress?

In your groups discuss the difference between pressure and stress?

There are many definitions of stress but the Health & Safety Executive (HSE) defines it as:

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“The adverse reaction people have to excessive pressures or other demands placed upon them. It arises when they worry that they cannot cope.”

There is no such thing as “good” stress but there is a difference between pressure and stress. Pressure can help us feel enthusiastic and motivated - “the adrenalin flows” - we are keen to perform well and get the job done, but too much pressure over an extended period can lead to stress, with its resultant negative effects leading, if neglected, to burnout and/or chronic illness.

A short period of stressful activity is not likely to cause problems – the body can cope with this and then return to normal (unless perhaps it is the result of trauma) – it’s the cumulative effect of one pressure piled on top of another which can lead to stress-related illness, both mental, physical or both.There is a difference between stress and pressure. Some of us experience pressure on a daily basis and utilise it to motivate and enable us to perform at our best. It’s when we experience too much pressure without the opportunity to recover that we start to experience stress.

How can I help myself?

As an employee, you too have a duty to take care of your health and safety at work. You should:

Speak up if you’re experiencing a problem, and talk to your manager to find a win-win solution. It is part of their role to help you do this.

Help your manager to help you. In order to put effective plans in place, your manager will need information from you, so take an active part in any discussions.

Volunteer to attend discussion groups, action planning meetings etc. They’re for your benefit, and your managers will need your help in deciding what will work and what will not.

Consultation is a two-way process. Your managers must take your opinions into consideration when deciding what actions to take, and must communicate the reasons for their decisions.

Read all communications. Make sure you understand the reasons for decisions and provide feedback if required.

Recognise that you have a responsibility for your own personal stress and try to help yourself where possible.

The Stress Response – How does it happen and what does it mean?

Think of yourself as a cave person. Imagine you are sitting outside your cave, perhaps quietly stirring your cooking pot. A prowling lion suddenly appears in front of you. Your body immediately goes into the stress response. Think what happens when you are scared – your muscles tense, your jaw clenches, you breathe faster, you feel your heartbeat thudding, you start to sweat. Unbeknown to you, your blood pressure is soaring, your blood is being bombarded with fat and sugar to provide energy and your digestive system is closing down. There’s hardly an organ in your body not involved in this response – will you stay and fight or run away? This is known as the Fight or Flight response.Imagine a cat, utterly relaxed, dozing in the sunshine. A dog appears! Watch the cat – it arches its back, its fur stands on end, its jaw clenches, the claws come out – all this is intended to make it look as fierce as possible. The dog gets the message and runs off. How is the cat feeling now? Within seconds, normality is restored and it’s once again dozing in the sunshine – it’s learned how to cope!

But what happens to us as human beings? Often we’re not in real danger at all when the stress response is triggered – we may have just had a difficult phone call from the boss, we may be cursing ourselves for a mistake made or a missed deadline, someone may have behaved badly towards us, we may have had disturbing news, we may be late for work or another driver has cut us up at the lights. We may be angry, frightened or worried but what’s happening to our bodies? Our complicated nervous and chemical systems are vying with each other to keep the stress reaction going so that we can fight or run away, but often we can do

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neither – punching the boss in the face is not the answer, neither is abandoning our post and running off. We just sit and literally stew in our own juices – and that’s why we get aches and pains because the waste products of all this chemical action – ever heard of lactic acid? – this is dumped in our muscles.

We respond physiologically in the same way as the cave dweller but we are not in danger in the way he/she was. Obviously the work that you carry out may put you in real danger and that is why debriefing after a traumatic or difficult event needs to take place, along with relevant support mechanisms put into place. However in most cases we are reacting to daily irritations or setbacks but if we are continually triggering the fight/flight response and it becomes a chronic reaction, then our bodies cannot return to normal and we are doing ourselves a lot of damage.

In your groups discuss the:

Effects stress can have on your body ( Physical)

Effects stress has on your emotional response

Effects stress has on your behaviour

We can all experience excessive pressure at times; we can try to address the problems, decide what action to take to put things right and most of us do indeed do that and get back to normal. But if we cannot return to normal, but allow the pressures to build and spend a large part of every day worrying that we cannot cope, trapped in a constant spiral of fear and anxiety, that is stress. Worry itself will trigger the stress reaction – there may be no visible danger but it’s the sufferer’s perception of the situation that causes the problem, leading over a long period if uncorrected to chronic health problems.

We usually become aware of the effects of excessive amounts of pressure – either in ourselves or others – by noticing a change in behaviour. One “bad day” won’t hurt – we all have those – but if you feel you are suffering from some of the above ill-effects more often than usual or if you notice them in a colleague, then it may be time to take action.

What are you aware of that happens when you move from pressure to stress?

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Personality traits and learnt behaviours

Type A and Type B personalities

According to scientific literature, Type A behaviour is characterised by an intense and sustained drive to achieve goals and an eagerness to compete. Personalities categorised as Type A tend to have a persistent desire for external recognition and advancement. They are involved in various functions that bring about time restrictions. Such personalities have a tendency to speed up mental and physical tasks with extraordinary mental and physical alertness. These characteristics make for super-achievers and high-powered people.

Type A individuals can get a lot done and have the potential to really move ahead in the world. But there is a high price to pay. Certain components of such a personality can inhibit happiness and even threaten health. For example, the goals that Type A people set are often poorly defined or unrealistic and therefore hard to achieve - a perfect recipe for self-induced pressure.

Type A is also characterised by a general discontentedness and the impulse to be overly-critical and demanding, even contemptuous of imperfection, in self and others. This focus on negative aspects and the accompanying bursts of hostility and impatience result in guilt, remorse and anxiety.

Type A personalities are motivated by external sources (instead of by inner motivation), such as material reward and appreciation from others. Type A people experience a constant sense of opposition, wariness and apprehension - they are always ready for battle. Anyone can imagine how this constant (and very exhausting) existence would deplete reserves of contentment and happiness and disrupt personal equilibrium.

Type B behaviour is usually defined as the absence of Type A behaviour. Type B personalities are relaxed and have a laid-back attitude and posture. They are friendly, accepting, patient, at ease and generally content. They are at peace with themselves and others. They show a general sense of harmony with people, events and life circumstances. They tend to be trusting. They focus on the positive aspects of things, people and events. Type B people are self-encouraging, have inner motivation, are stable and have a pleasant mood. They are interested in others and accept trivial mistakes. They have an accepting attitude about trivial mistakes and a problem-solving attitude about major mistakes. They are flexible and good team members. The Type B person is able to lead and be led.

Psychometrically, the behaviours that define the syndrome are not highly correlated, indicating that this is a grouping of separate tendencies, not a coherent pattern or type. Type theories in general have been criticised as overly simplistic and incapable of assessing the degrees of difference in human personality. Types A and B can be viewed as a continuum with individuals showing some tendencies of both types but more one than the other.

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Exercise - Personality traits and learnt behaviours

When waiting for an appointment or to be served in a restaurant you sit back and relax

1 2 3 4 5 6 7Waiting makes you feel edgy and you are aggravated by any delay

You play games and sports for the sheer fun of it. The result is less important than the play.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7You always plan to win – even against the kids

You are a good listener and always wait for others to finish what they are saying

1 2 3 4 5 6 7You can’t wait to have your say and often interrupt others or finish their words for them

You are never hurried in your actions, even when the heat is on and you are under pressure

1 2 3 4 5 6 7You are always in a rush, anxious to be moving on to the next thing on your list

You have plenty of interests and hobbies outside of work 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Work is of overriding importance, often dominating your free time

You have a balanced social life and maintain regular contact with a wide circle of friends and family.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7Your social life revolves around work interests and colleagues

You are satisfied with your job and content with your position at work

1 2 3 4 5 6 7You are highly ambitious, looking for rapid promotion and advancement of your career.

You are a careful and courteous driver, always making way for other vehicles and pedestrians

1 2 3 4 5 6 7You are an aggressive driver, impatient of others on the road and anxious to get ahead, even if it means taking risks.

Work brings its own reward through the fulfillment and satisfaction you derive from your job

1 2 3 4 5 6 7You crave recognition and praise for a job well done

You eat slowly and enjoy each mouthful 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

You eat quickly, often finishing your meal before others are barely half-way through

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You respect people for who they are rather than what they are and you never judge people by position, possessions or the size of their bank balance

1 2 3 4 5 6 7You measure your own and other people’s worth in terms of numbers: how many achievements, how much money, and so on

You are in touch with your feelings and able to express them appropriately

1 2 3 4 5 6 7You suppress your feelings but betray them through angry outbursts, critical remarks or irritability

Personality traits and learnt behaviours

Score 66 - 84: Extreme type AHighly competitive and always striving to be in control, you drive yourself hard. Because you are unaware how tense you really are, you do little to alleviate stress, but unless you moderate your behaviour you risk heart disease and other stress-related problems.

Score 48 - 65: Moderate type AWatch yourself and take care not to push yourself too hard. Be sure to take regular time out for yourself to unwind and relax.

Score 36 - 47: Healthy type ABYou enjoy a challenge but have a well-balanced life and do not let pressure get the better of you. Be careful to ensure that Type A behaviour doesn’t begin to dominate when opportunities open up or your ambitions expand.

Score 18 - 35: Moderate type BYou have a relaxed and healthy approach to life; however there may be times when you need to motivate yourself to achieve what you want in life.

Score 12 - 17: Extreme type BYou are so laid back and easy-going that you hardly know what a challenge is; check that this extreme doesn’t become unhealthy.

Can you plot yourself on the continuum of the type A and B personality traits and learnt behaviours.

-------------- ++++ A B ++++ ------------------A B

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Extreme Extreme

Managing your wellbeing

What can you do?Firstly, don’t bottle it up.

Chat things over with someone you trust. If your problem is work-related you must talk with your manager. If this is not possible talk to someone else in your organisation. It may be that the pressures are piling up at home and you are finding it difficult to cope at work as a result, it is still important to discuss these problems with someone. Your organisation have support systems in place to help you. In the meantime:

Remember stress is a perception. Use the stress filter tool: Avoid what you can, Reframe where possible Cope with what is left

The Stress Filter

Some advice on ARC – Avoid, Reframe or Cope:

You can stay as you are or make some change. “If you always do what you’ve always done then you’ll always get what you always got”.

Consider the landslide story. If a landslide occurs with big rocks, medium rocks and gravel, which would you, move first?

Think of the big rocks as avoiding, medium rocks as reframing and gravel as the coping. Therefore, the big rocks need getting out of the way first, i.e. avoid what you can and then reframe, and then cope with whatever is left over (the gravel).

It’s about making the best of a situation – things are what you make them – they won’t happen for you. Sit down and think about how to reframe. If you don’t choose to take action, then things won’t change. These are just a few things you can do to improve your resistance to stress

Now decide where you will put these concerns:

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How can your personality and learnt behaviours have an impact on your resilience?

Keep avoiding them, have to cope with them or can you re-frame your thoughts or change a response to a more positive response.

Discuss with your colleagues actions to help manage your wellbeing/stress more effectively that you have identified in the previous exercise.

The theme throughout this workshop is about recognising the need for changing our physical responses i.e. our fight and flight response, recognising the areas of tension in our body, being more aware of muscle tension – think of the way we grip the steering wheel when we are stuck in a traffic jam – and the effects these will have on our physical response etc.

Think about your emotional state management. You may not be able to control the environment or the people you are with, but you can become more aware of the body’s triggers and the thoughts that you do have control over.

Put into place the performance cycle, ‘positive self talk and image’, change, reflect or manage performance / behaviour.

Change the stress response

Recognise the early warning signs regarding our emotional response. Do we always respond with an emotional outburst or internal emotional reaction, unable to express our wants, needs and feelings?

It is essential that these reactions are recognised and challenged.

This is not an easy thing to do often because the emotion happens before we have time to think about it. However, it is very important to look for these patterns of emotional responses.

Behaviour – whilst we cannot change our personality and the traits that may entail, it is extremely important that we look at our responses – these can be changed. However we may need to work at these for a considerable period of time before we see any results – most people give up before they actually start changing their behavioural responses. Just because it doesn’t work once doesn’t mean that we should abandon our attempts to change our behaviour

Why do you think building personal resilience will help you when you feel stressed?

Make sure you are looking after yourself.

Are you:

Getting enough sleep – the body’s way of healing the mind!This can be particularly difficult in your area of work due to the different shift patterns taking years to adopt an effective sleep pattern while some people never return to the norm. It is then essential that you look at other forms of relaxation to enable the body to recover.

Setting aside time for yourself. Regard it as necessary relaxation and recovery.

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Make sure you take your breaks and holiday leave due to you.

Enjoying your leisure time – you deserve to spend it doing something you like.

Muscular relaxation techniques are effective, but have to be practised. Yoga and Pilates are excellent, both for body and mind. Deep breathing – building up the ability to make the out-breath last as long as you can – is a valuable tool. Practise it when you have a tricky task to perform, it has an instant calming effect and reduces blood pressure! Developing visualisation, mental rehearsal and affirming techniques can be very helpful in raising confidence levels.

Give yourself a treat – try massage and aromatherapy, it’s wonderfully relaxing. Reflexology is also good, as are lots of other relaxation therapies available.

Take some regular exercise – even if it’s only walking round the block.

Make sure you eat and drink healthily. Avoid the boost and dump effect of fat and sugar-laden food, coffee and drinks with excessive amounts of caffeine. Check your units of alcohol, but as with everything, moderation is the key!

Alcohol

Latest recommendations for safe drinking levels are as follows:

3-4 units per day for a man 2-3 units per day for a woman

Try to aim for at least two alcohol-free days per week.

The following are examples of 1 unit of alcohol:

1/2 pint of ordinary strength beer, lager 1 small glass of wine 100mls 1 single pub measure of spirits 1 small glass of sherry 1 single measure of an aperitif

Limits have changed over the years – with the increase in binge drinking it was thought that 21 for men and 14 for women per week was OK and these were increased to 28 and 24. However it was then concluded that people were using this in binge-style patterns of drinking which are detrimental to health.

Caffeine is a stimulant found in:

Drinking more than 600mgs per day can have an adverse or toxic effect on our body.

Instant coffee – per cup (150mls) 89 mgs

Ground coffee – per cup 200 mgs

Espresso – per shot 300mgs

Tea – per cup 45 mgs

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Cola drinks – per can 85 mgs

Pro-plus tablets – per tab 50 mgs

Red Bull/red thunder – per can 120mls 200mgsThe chemicaltaurine in the drink = x 3 effect 600mgs

Learning Emotional Intelligence (EI)

Where does EI come from?

Experts are beginning to agree that there are other types of intelligence than IQ (Intelligence Quotient). It is now a well known fact that a high IQ is not enough to guarantee you success in life. When you have a high EIQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) you are adept at interpreting the emotional depth of your own thinking and behaviour and therefore choosing your actions to influence outcomes. You are also able to make good insight into the behaviour of others. The concept of EI is not new; early research goes back to the 1920’s, however it was Daniel Goleman who really started to introduce EI into the workplace. There are also different EI assessment models, however the core purpose is the same: you can develop better self-awareness, self-regulation and develop the ability to use your senses to enhance all areas of your life.

What is EI?

Well, that can depend on who you ask! Many of the theory psychologists say that it is an ability to perceive, understand and express our feelings accurately and to control our emotions so that they work for us and not against us. (Salovey and Mayer 1990)

No matter who’s definition you use EI is about…

knowing how you and others feel and what to do about it. knowing what feels good and what feels bad and how to get from bad to good. possessing emotional awareness, sensitivity and the skills that will help us stay

positive and maximise our long-term happiness and well-being.

EI is an awareness-based intelligence, and to be highly developed in EI it requires us to:

stop and think control our impulses use our innate intuition be authentic with ourselves and others

It is no soft option since it deals with our hidden areas and gets to the root cause of any unproductive behaviour.

Below are two simple but powerful exercises which can assist building resilience by enhancing realistic optimism: reflecting on the good that has happened to you over the past 24 hours and reflecting on what you are really grateful for and why.

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In the past 24hrs what has happened that has been good?

In the past 24hr what have you been grateful for and why?

The benefits are profound: people who do these exercises regularly report enhanced optimism,positivity, energy and connectedness. Whilst no-one chooses to experience tough times and adversity, successfully dealing with adversity does have an upside. Personal growth and development occurs most when one is in unfamiliar territory, when comfort levels are breached, and when one is out of one’s depth and struggling.

Adversity creates such an environment, and a response based on resilience enables growth and development, and even life-enhancing change, to take place. The personal benefit for staff in being resilient is that they have inner strength and resourcefulness to absorb “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” and live a joyful life. In this context, resilience is the life-force through which one can overcome adversity and strive towards self actualisation.

But is resilience teachable? The answer is a resounding Yes. Research has demonstrated that the innate skills relating to the building of resilience principles can be developed and enhanced through training in specific resilience-building tools.

Staying flexible Resilience involves maintaining flexibility and balance in your life as you deal with stressful circumstances and traumatic events. This happens in several ways, including:

Letting yourself experience strong emotions, and also realising times when you may need to avoid experiencing them in order to continue functioning

Stepping forward and taking action to deal with your problems, meeting the demands of daily living, and also stepping back to rest and re-energise yourself

Spending time with loved ones to gain support and encouragement, and also nurturing yourself

Relying on others, and also relying on yourself

Let’s start by checking 8 resilient words and statements below:

Purpose: Have a clear and valued sense of purpose Planning: Don’t ignore your problems. Plan and take action Determination: Focus on a goal. Access what stops you achieving?

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Positive: Be positive, realistic and flexible to achieve your goals. Self-awareness: How well do you know yourself? Values: What energises you and what drains your energy? Self-management: Manage yourself and your time Relationships: Get connected – develop a positive support network

Where will you start?

Controlling negative feelings is the first step; generating positive feelings needed for resilience in order to bounce back is the next. Positive feelings are effectively created by connecting to one’s purpose and meaning in life, using one’s innate strengths and reaching out to others.

In addition, there are two exercises we have found useful in generating genuine positive feelings. The first exercise involves reflecting daily on 3 good things about you and 3 things you want to develop.

3 good things about you 3 things you want to develop

The second involves writing a journal of the best possible outcomes for yourself in the future using topics such as loving relationships, career, finances, spirituality, health, hobbies and so on. Both exercises typically result in enhanced feelings of excitement and joy in living a life of involvement and potential.

Continuing on your journey

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How many of these do you currently use on a daily basis and how do they benefit your personal resilience?

To help summarise several of the main points of this training, think of resilience as similar to taking a raft trip down a river. On a river, you may encounter rapids, turns, slow water and shallows. As in life, the changes you experience affect you differently along the way. In travelling the river, it helps to have knowledge about it and past experience in dealing with it. Your journey should be guided by a plan, a strategy that you consider likely to work well for you.

Perseverance and trust in your ability to work your way around boulders and other obstacles are important. You can gain courage and insight by successfully navigating your way through white water. Trusted companions who accompany you on the journey can be especially helpful for dealing with rapids, upstream currents, and other difficult stretches of the river.

You can climb out to rest alongside the river. But to get to the end of your journey, you need to get back in the raft and continue. Each of us has extraordinary possibilities and strengths. Each of us has the capability to get back up and carry on, whether we use it or not - this is resilience. Resilient people have courage and emotional stamina. They respond to challenges in an effective way. You can become more resilient.Resilience matters. It is very important to a person's mental and physical health. It protects against (and reverses) depression, anxiety, fear, helplessness and other negative emotions, and has the potential to reduce their associated physiological effects. Being more resilient improves the quality of life.Understand your resilience core, know where it is weak, take steps to strengthen it, and then go forward boldly and live resiliently.

Tips on how to build resilience

Resilience is the ability to spring back from and successfully adapt to adversity. Resilient people are often flexible in their linking, endure difficulty with a realistic outlook and use the experience in self-empowering ways.

Resilience can be learned:

Make connections: Good relationships with close family members, friends or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience.

Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems: You can’t change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Try looking beyond the present to how the future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.

Accept that change is a part of living: Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of an adverse situation. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.

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Move towards your goals: Develop realistic goals. Do something regularly - even if it seems like a small accomplishment - that enables you to move towards your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable ask yourself “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”

Take decisive steps: Act on an adverse situation as much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.

Look for opportunities for self discovery: People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle or loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, a greater sense of personal strength even while feeling vulnerable, an increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and a heightened appreciation of life.

Nurture a positive view of yourself: Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts, helps to build resilience.

Keep things in perspective: Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.

Maintain a hopeful outlook: An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualising what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.

Take care of yourself: Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of you helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.

The proof it does work…

Dr Maxwell Maltz wrote the bestseller “Psycho-Cybernetics”. Originally a plastic surgeon, Maltz noticed that it took 21 days for amputees to cease feeling phantom sensations in the amputated limb. From further observations he found it took 21 days to create a new habit. Since then the '21 Day Habit’ theory has become an accepted part of self-help programs.

Brain circuits take engrams (memory traces) and produce neuro-connections and neuro-pathways only if they are bombarded for 21 days in a row. This means that our brain does not accept ‘new’ data for a change of habit unless it is repeated each day for 21 days (without missing a day)."

The essence of the technique is simply to devote 15 minutes a day to the formation of any habit you wish to establish, and do this faithfully for 21 days. By the fourth week, it should actually be harder not to engage in the new behaviour than it would be to continue doing it.

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This applies to any type of habit, whether it is a physical practice or a way of perceiving something, such as self-image - changing your self-image in "the theatre of your mind" for 15 minutes a day, for 21 days. It will also help to establish the habit if the behavior e.g. jogging, is performed at the same time of day every day.

Other senses can be used to establish the habit. For example, if you want to establish the habit of meditating, you can reinforce the practice by burning the same incense, occupying the same location, and assuming the same posture.

The more senses you can involve in the new habit, the more likely it is to become ingrained in the neural pathways so, even if you're working on your self-image in a mental construct, it's helpful to use all the faculties of your imagination to include sights, sounds, smells, and the senses of feeling and taste to strengthen the image which you come to associate with your new self-image - in other words, make it seem as real as possible.

If you miss a day, just keep going until you've been doing the new behaviour or resilient techniques for 21 days in a row.

So over to you… 15 minutes a day, can you afford not too?Keep practicing resilience techniques so that your overall physical and mental well-being will be healthier.

Unhelpful Thinking StylesOver the years we tend to develop unhelpful thinking habits such as shown in the table below. These are often exacerbated when we are under strain. Once you can identify your unhelpful thinking habits, then you can challenge that thought process and see the situation on a more positive behaviour.Mental filter This is a mental filter or tunnel vision. Only paying attention to

certain types of evidence, usually negative, often noticing our failures and not our successes. Anything more positive or realistic is dismissed.

Jumping to conclusions

Comes under two headings;Mind reading imagining we know what the other person is

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thinking.Predictive thinking is when we make predictions about future events overestimating the negative emotions or experiences in that predictive future.

Personalisation This is when some individual blames themselves for anything that goes wrong and will take full responsibility. Alternatively, an individual can blame others and not take any responsibility for something that was their fault.

Catastrophising Blowing things out of proportion and using words such as “nightmare” “disaster” “awful” “dreadful”. When in fact the reality of the problem is relatively small.

Black and white thinking

All or nothing. “If I’m not perfect then I have failed” with this thinking there is no room for in-betweens you are either good or bad, right or wrong, no shades of grey or middle ground.

Should and must language

We can use critical words such as “must”, “should”, “ought”, “have to”. These are all negative words that can make us feel guilty. We can also apply the “should” to others and these kinds of statements will lead to us being frustrated, angry or disappointed in others.

Overgeneralisation This is when we see a pattern based on past events or being overly general in the assumption we draw.“Everything is always rubbish” or “Nothing good ever happens”.

Labelling/critical self This can be when we allocate labels to ourselves or others assign the label to us. They are often negative and critical in nature. We may put ourselves down, blame ourselves or events or situations that are not totally your responsibility. We can often see the good in others and compare ourselves to them in a negative way.

Emotional reasoning This is when you base your circumstances on feelings, assuming that because we feel a certain way, the thoughts must, therefore, be true. “I feel bad, so it must be bad!”, “I feel anxious, so I must be in danger”.

Magnification and minimisation

This is when you magnify the positives of others and minimise your own positive attributes. It’s as if all your achievements and positive characteristics are not that important.

Memories Present-day situations and events can activate distressing memories, leading us to believe that the danger is here and now, rather than in the past, causing us distress right now.

Finding Alternative ThoughtsMental filter Can you think of a time when you used this thinking style? Ask

yourself am I only noticing the negative events? Am I filtering out the positives? What would be a more realistic way of

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thinking?

Jumping to conclusions

Am I assuming I know what others are thinking? What’s the evidence? Is there another or a more balanced thought?If you are inclined to predictive thinking, ask yourself “can I really read into the future?”. How likely are the negative thoughts that you have going to be the outcome?

Personalisation Be realistic with your responsibilities? Look at what you can control. Ask yourself do I compare myself with others? Can I look at this in a more balanced way?

Catastrophising Challenge the language that you use as this can affect our emotional response. Words are very powerful. Ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen? Ask yourself am I exaggerating the negative?

Black and white thinking

Things aren’t either black or white, there are shades of grey. Where is the continuum?

Should and must language

Ask yourself these questions, am I putting more pressure on myself? Am I putting unrealistic expectations on myself and others? What would be more realistic?

Overgeneralisation Challenge the use of words such as “always” “never” everything. Ask yourself how does this thinking style make me feel? Does it frustrate, discourage, depress or annoy me?

Labelling/critical self Ask yourself “am I internally bullying myself with these negative thoughts about my abilities?” Would most people who know you use critical words to describe you as a person?

Emotional reasoning This is when we assume that because we feel a certain way what we think must, therefore, be true. “I feel bad, so it must be bad!” I feel anxious, so I must be in danger “Just because it feels bad it doesn’t automatically mean it is bad. Feelings are just responses to your thoughts and thoughts are just automatic brain reflexes

Magnification and minimisation

Challenge yourself as to whether you are putting yourself down or giving others more of an elevating position at your expense?

MemoriesChallenge what is happening in the here and now. Are you attaching negative memories or past experiences to the present events and assuming that the same thing will happen? Tell yourself this is now that was then.

GOAL MIND MAP

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Time or place Performance

Reality – Where am I now?

What I do now Effect on performance

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What are my options – what could I do differently?

What could I do? In what priority?

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Mindfulness and Relaxation skills

Mindfulness/ Relaxation

Ever felt there must be more to life?

Well good news, there is! And it's right here in front of us.

We just need to stop and take notice. Learning to be more mindful and aware can do wonders for our well-being in all areas of life - like our walk to work, the way we eat or our relationships. It helps us get in tune with our feelings and stops us dwelling on the past or worrying about the future - so we get more out of the day-to-day. 

The key to taking notice is 'mindfulness'. Mindfulness is often defined as "the state of being attentive to and aware of what is taking place in the present". Two critical elements of mindfulness are that:

It is intentional (i.e. we are consciously doing it); and We are accepting, rather than judging, of what we notice.

In other words, mindfulness is "openly experiencing what is there." It is about having as full as possible awareness of what is around us - what we can see, hear, touch and taste. And what is happening inside - our thoughts and feelings. Crucially it is about observing all this but not getting caught up in thinking and worrying about what we are observing. It then gives us more control of that we decide to give our attention to. A growing number of scientific studies are showing the benefits of mindfulness in many aspects of our lives including our physical and mental well-being, our relationships and our performance at school and at work. It appears to have benefits for everyone, from children through to the elderly. One researcher even suggests that once learnt, mindfulness has a 'transmitting' quality. Its benefits increase over time and with practice and can spread to many areas of our daily lives.

Yet mindfulness is something that, in today's busy, multi-tasking world, few of us do naturally - but it's something everyone can learn and benefit from. It's simple, yet can feel hard until you learn how. That's why it takes practice.Mindfulness changes your brainRecent research has shown that a mindfulness meditation/relaxation class can lead to structural brain changes including increased grey-matter density in the hippocampus, known to be important for learning and memory, and in structures associated with self-awareness, compassion and introspection.We will take you through this mindful experience as a taster to see if this is something that could help you to rebalance your life or improve your current work/life balance.We have also included some mindful exercisers for you to try away from this session today.

5 Mindfulness Exercises You Can Try Today In this busy world it’s easy to feel stressed and suffer from a scattered mind, yet the majority of us don’t have time to meditate and properly empty the mind. Try using these easy mindfulness exercises to empty your mind and find clarity amidst the madness.

One Minute Breathing This exercise can be done anywhere, any time. All you have to do is focus on your breathing for just one minute. Naturally your mind will try and wander, but try to just focus on the rise and fall of your breath and let thoughts go as they arise.

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PREMIER LIFE SKILLS ‘60 SECOND TRANQUILLISER’ ©The 60-second tranquilliser is a useful tool to enable us to cope more easily in situations where we are fearful, anxious or in a panic. It is important to practice this controlled breathing technique regularly, away from stressful or anxious situations, until you become quite skilled at it.Using positive thoughts activates the parasympathetic nervous system and helps to switch off the fight/flight reaction.Say firmly to yourself, ‘TAKE CONTROL’Repeat, ‘I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT TO’ and breathe out slowly.Slowly breathe in and allow your abdomen to soften and rise.PauseSlowly breathe out, longer than breathing in.Say to yourself, ‘I AM BREATHING IN PEACE AND BREATHING AWAY TENSION’Each time you breathe out, relax your face, jaw, shoulders and hands.Move and talk more slowly.

Mindful Observation - This exercise is simple but incredibly powerful. Pick a natural organism that is within your sight and focus on watching it for one minute; perhaps a flower or insect. Try not to think of anything else. Simply observe the organism in all its glory for one full minute.

Touch points - Think of something that happens every day more than once, e.g. opening a door. At that moment when you touch the door knob, allow yourself to be completely mindful of where you are, how you feel and what you are doing. The cues don’t have to be physical; it could be that every time you think something negative you take a mindful moment to release the negative thought. It could be that every time you smell food you take a mindful moment to rest in the appreciation of having food to eat. Choose a touch point that resonates with you today.

Mindful Listening - This is the same as mindful observation, except for just one minute listen to a piece of music you like. Try not to think about it, just listen. If you can’t find any music you like you can simply listen to the noises around you. Don’t try and determine what the sounds are, just listen and effortlessly absorb the experience.

The Game of Five - In this mindfulness exercise, all you need to do is notice five things in your day that usually go unnoticed. They could be things you hear, smell, feel on your body, or see. For example you might see the walls, hear the birds, feel your clothes or smell the flowers. Of course you may already do these things, but are you really aware of these things and the connections they have with your world?

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It’s incredible what a difference to your life it can make just learning how to notice your breath and the rest of your senses; how to truly listen, look and feel. By becoming mindful we experience increased contentment.

Relaxation for the whole body Sit comfortably in a chair, arms comfortably relaxed beside you or with your hands in your

lap, and soles of the feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes. Listen to music if you wish. Breathe in and out slowly and gently, ensuring that you use your chest, diaphragm and

abdomen. Breathe in slowly and, as you do so, curl your toes. Feel the tension in them. As you breathe out allow your toes to relax and notice how different they feel now. Now breathe in and as you do so tense the muscles in your feet and ankles. Gently rotate each foot in both directions. Next, tense the muscles in the calves of your legs and relax them, still paying attention to

your breathing. Tense the muscles in your upper legs by pressing your knees together hard and feeling the

tension along the inner thighs. Move up through your body, tensing and relaxing each group of muscles as you go, feeling

the difference and noting how your muscles feel when they are in a relaxed state. Feel the strength and tension in your abdominal muscles. Move each shoulder in turn. Pull the right shoulder up towards the ear, and then relax.

Repeat with the left shoulder, and relax. Repeat once more, then hunch both shoulders towards the ear lobes, relax and repeat.

Sit tall in your chair, with arms relaxed by your sides. Pull the shoulders down, lengthening the neck as you do so. Relax and feel the tension in the shoulders disappear.

Raise your lower arms to shoulder level in front of you with elbows bent. Move your arms back towards your spine, tensing the muscles around your shoulder blades as you do so. Then relax and bring your arms forward again.

Relax the muscles in your hands and fingers by making your hand into a fist, then opening out the hand and stretching the fingers as far as possible.

Sit tall in your chair with your chin parallel to the floor. Gently tilt your chin towards your chest and then return your head to its normal position.

Relieve tension in the jaw by clamping your teeth together and then relaxing the jaw muscles. Allow your mouth to open to its fullest extent, stretching and relaxing the muscles of the jaw and mouth as it does so.

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Relaxation Techniques are most effective when they are practised every

day.

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Building personal resilience The Action Plan

The resilient/wellbeing action I choose too

How I will implement this action?

Recording what happens when I use this action

The number of days I have applied this action

Name……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Date……………………………………

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To find out more

Hadfield, S & Hasson, G (2009) Bounce: ‘Use the Power of Resilience to Live the Life you Want’

Neenan, M (2009) ‘Developing Resilience’ Maddi, SR & Khoshaba, DM (2005) ‘Resilience at Work’ Susan Jeffers 20th Anniversary Edition: ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ Dr Dina Glouberman ‘ The joy of burnout’ Stephen Covey's ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ Spencer Johnson: ‘Who moved my cheese?’ Kathryn McEwen (1 Jul 2011) Building Resilience at Work Susan Jeffers (6 Jan 2000): ‘Feel the Fear...and Beyond’ Daniel Goldman: ‘Emotional Intelligence’ Dr Karen Reivich: The Seven ‘Learnable’ Skills of Resilience

Martin Seligman & Dr Karen Reivich The Optimistic Child

Martin Seligman ‘The Resilience Factor’. 

Dr. Richard Davidson – The nature of Neuro science

Charles Duhigg : ‘The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do, and How to change’

Ruby Wax – Sane New World & Frazzled

www.businessballs.com www.isma.org.uk

APPS Relax + with Andrew Johnson Power nap with Andrew Johnson Relaxation App - Guided relaxation Headspace Digipill Calm

Reference material: Resilient models

Dr Karen Reivich: The Seven ‘Learnable’ Skills of Resilience Reference: Centre for Confidence and Well-Being, California.

Robertson and Cooper’s http://www.robertsoncooper.com i-resilience report – free resilience report.

RetailHUB, help, understanding, back up. Free confidential wellbeing services that support you: How to access: Go on line www.retailtrust.org.uk/hub : Test 88010 : email helpline@retailtryst.org.ukCall free: Republic of Ireland 1 800 911 810 UK: 0808801080

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