Resolving Conflict The 5 A’s

Sis. Amoryn MundPathway GS120munda@byui.edu

About me…

• Amoryn Mund

• 2007 Graduate of BYU-Idaho

• Elementary Education

• Taught in Davis County Utah for 4 years

• Married, 2 daughters

• Ogden, UT

• Pathway GS120 Since Sept 2014

Resolving Conflict- The 5 A’s

• Given to me when working in Elementary School

• Used it with Conflicts – It worked

• Read about other examples- It Works

• Used it in my personal life-It works

• Used it in Pathway- It works

• Sharing it with you.

Ponder this….• Through Conflict Resolution Can we…

• Avoid the “Blame Game”?

• Allow opportunities to feel the Spirit?

• Serve others?

• Show humility?

• Emulate Christ?

Lds.org

Actual Email from a student:

• I do not understand why I have only been receiving partial credit on my post.

• “I feel like my comments have more than expressed my comprehension on each subject, and I am slightly offended by the low grading on this and other posts.”

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The 5 A’s of Conflict Resolution

• Admit or Acknowledge

• Apologize

• Accept or Adjust

• Ask

• Alter or Act

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Admit or Acknowledge

• “I was wrong…”

• “There was a typo…”

• “This is frustrating…”

• “I’m sorry…”

• “Not the intention…”

Image from Men For Change, The Online Healthy Relationships Project, 1998 Retrieved from http://www.creducation.org/resources/anger_management/index.html

Apologize

• Apologize (sometimes even if you were not wrong)

• I’m sorry your feelings were hurt

• Don’t blame

• Don’t put the fault on anyone in particular.

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Accept or Adjust

• I appreciate your email

• Thank you for pointing out this mistake

• I understand that this could be confusing or difficult

• I was wrong

• Again don’t point fingers or blame

• Do what we can to make it right

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Ask

• How can I help?

• What would you do in this situation?

• How can I change this for future classes?

• Will you forgive my mistake?

• What do you need from me?

• What do you need from the University?

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Alter or Act

• Go into the course and make adjustments in how you word things if needed.

• Check the requirements for the course.

• Ask for help if needed.

• Change it for future semesters.

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The 5 A’s of Conflict Resolution

• Admit or Acknowledge

• Apologize

• Accept or Adjust

• Ask

• Alter or Act

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Moroni and Pahoran

Alma 60:2

Alma 62: 2,9

Lds.org

Scriptural Insights

Matthew 5:43-44

And 46-48

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Scriptural Examples

1 Nephi 19:9

Lds.org

• “One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to

the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the

potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive,

but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say… “it

mattereth not.”

• Elder Bednar

Lds.org

Ponder this….• Through Conflict Resolution Can we…

• Avoid the “Blame Game”?

• Allow opportunities to feel the Spirit?

• Serve others?

• Show humility?

• Emulate Christ?

Lds.org

Tools to use

Prayer

Time

TGL and Teaching Group

Objective individual

Refer back to Syllabus or Instructions

Important Mindset

• We are all children of our God. While we are all unique and different we have been taught to love one another.

• Would you ever purposefully say or do something to hurt someone that you love?

• Do you think that someone that loves you, would ever do or say something that would purposefully hurt you?

• To be offended is a personal choice. As instructors we participate in a delicate balance of choosing not to be offended by others, and also managing appropriate communication.

Conflict Resolution: Recap and Practice

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• Admit or Acknowledge• Apologize• Accept or Adjust• Ask• Alter or Act

• By using these 5A’s when faced with a sensitive situation, we can avoid the ‘blame game’, allow opportunities to feel the Spirit, serve others, show humility, and emulate Christ.

ReferencesBednar, D. A. (2006) Nothing shall offend them. Ensign of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2006/10?lang=eng

Smith, J. (2013) 5 A’s for Resolving Conflict. Prezi Presentation. Retrieved from https://prezi.com/nwc9cjqdob00/5-as-for-resolving-conflict/?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=copy

Jones, T. S., Batton, J., Wallis, S., Warters, W. Dieringer, L., & Prutzman, P. (n.d.), Conflict Resolution Education: Working with anger in educational settings. CRETE Project. Retrieved from http://www.creducation.org/resources/anger_management/index.html

Example #1

•  "Hi my name is ---------- and I am having some problems with your online class. Your set up is very confusing and honestly I have no idea what assignments I am supposed to be doing. I find myself spending 3 or 4 hours dedicated to just searching ILearn to figure it out and I'm positive I'm still missing things. This has been very frustrating. I am currently a full time student on campus as well as taking two online classes. I do not have time to spend 5+ hours searching for what I am supposed to do in your class. I was hoping that maybe you would consider putting your assignments, readings, and discussion boards on the due soon board in ILearn. This would make it easier to be sure what we are supposed to do. Thank you."

Example #2• Some of the stuff I got marked off I did but couldn't do like my attendance I was there and did my work but

can't go back and mark that I was there. I am very overwhelmed and am used to being able to get on do my work and get my grade I feel like I am doing my work but am frusterated because now I am not getting credit for showing up. Like I was there I would've done everything I don't know I feel like I'm far behind and am considering just dropping by out. Cause everything I do every week and never missed is locked and I can't do and missed like a ton of point. I don't know this is probably inappropriate for college course but I have a lot of personal things going on and feel like if I do my work show for class and try my best I should get a good grade but because I didn't read an update I am way behind and lost all motivation for complete assignments I missed even though I did them I couldn't mark them compete or take the survey or anything cause I didn't read that I had to post I don't have any questions. I'm a hard worker and looking at the percentages it's not even possible for me to get an a in the class due to my week being a mess.  Late work is late work but I don't feel it's fair to throw an curve ball requiring a post that is not graded in order to participate  in class on week 2. I get im just a online student and your just grading my work but to put road blocks up to being able to do my work is frusteratinng cause I wanted to do my work even with a funeral mid week. 

• The main thing that is frustersting me is I went to a funeral and rushed axxross town to ensure I didn't miss class. So to log on and not beable to change my attendance and get marked absent when I was there is disappointing and makes me mad because of I had a choice I would have stayed at the wake and not left so to see a 0/40 and 7% of my over all grade gone because I couldn't click to a different page is beyond upsetting n

Example #3• I do not understand why I have only been receiving partial credit on my post.

• "Working hard has helped me prepare to be a husband and father one day. It also helps me make the income that I need to survive. It gives me money for actives that I want to do for fun. Basically, I am rewarded for hard work; even if it's not with money. I have found that I am not happy when I am idle. It gets boring not working hard. Having a job and fulfilling my church callings has made me super happy. "

• I feel like my comments have more than expressed my comprehension on each subject, and I am slightly offended by the low grading on this and other posts. Writing these post is very difficult for me because I suffer from dyslexia. I feel as if you simply wish for me to expand on my thoughts with statements that I believe to be implied by common sense. I don't feel like these concepts are as complex and foreign as the discussion actives set them up to be. Is it the length? We are simply asked for one paragraph;  

• "A paragraph (from the Greek paragraphos, "to write beside" or "written beside") is a group of sentences with one topic. it is also a self-contained unit of a discourse in writing dealing with a particular point or idea. A paragraph consists of one or more sentences."