Skills to Build Resilience

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is

nothing in you except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’… Yours is the Earth

and everything that’s in it,…

Rudyard Kipling

What is resilience ?

Strength-Focused

Do not do anything to lose weight

Do everything to become healthy

Things you can

Change

Things you cannot Change

Worry ?

Worry vs Anxiety

I’m not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail

my ship.

Louisa May Alcott

What determines Happiness?

Genetics What happens Inentional Activities

How do we know this?

Baseline Happiness

Lottery Winners

Car Crash Paraplegics

GoodThe Bad

Good

Good

What is Balance of the Mind?

Big Problem

Really Big Problem

Crisis

Really Big Happy

Emotional numbing

Derealization

Increased irritability and anger outbursts

Difficulty concentrating

Hyper-vigilance

Exaggerated startle response

Rate Your Anger• Ears are hot• Skin is red• Gritting your teeth• Staring down the other

person• Balled-up fists• Cursing

0

10

5

Study Zonesand

“George”

Flourishing

P E R M A

He who… to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and

multiply the grief which he purposes to remove.

Samuel Johnson

Flight or Fight

Body Thinking

Behavior

Body

Emotion

Body Changes

Amy Cuddy PhD Power Poses

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to

choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Viktor Frankl

Stimulus ResponseThoughts

Cingular Commercial

Stimulus Response

Silence after telling

an edgy joke.

I’ve offended him

He dropped phone laughing

There is a dropped call

?

1

What’s the evidence for either one?

2

3

Mental Games

• Changes the focus• Takes full attention• Hard but fun• Short activity

Conan the Barbarian

Why WhatPlaces blame

Looks for excuses

Antagonistic

What is the worst part of that for me?

What does that mean to me?

What happens next?

P E R M A

… the holistic experience that people feel when they act with total involvement.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Chal

leng

e

Skill

anxiety

boredomFlow

You can’t think if you are fully engaged in

a challenging task.

http:// www. viacharacter. org

Identify Strengths in yourself and others

Energizes

Comes natural

Achieve Flow states

Another way to say ‘rewarding’

Strengths

P E R M A

Of all the things which wisdom provides to make life entirely happy, much the

greatest is the possession of friendship.

Epicurus

You are the average of 5 people you hang around most

HAPPY NEWS!

Constructive Destructive

Passive

Active Joy Multiplier Joy Thief

Conversation Killer

Conversation Hacker

What if ?

Dr John Gottman

P E R M A

You do not have to suffer to learn. But, if you don’t learn from suffering, over which

you have no control, then your life becomes truly meaningless.

Viktor Frankl

Sisyphus

Experimental Research on Meaning in Life

Social Exclusion

Positive Mood

Coherence

=Purpose Worth

Elderly with houseplant subjective well-being

What is the main tool of a Warrior?

Fighter Soldier Warrior

Somethingof

ValueDANGER

W A R R I O R

What is the main tool of a Warrior?

Meaning is web of connections, understandings, and interpretations that help us comprehend our experience and formulate plans directing our energies to

the achievement of our desired future. Meaning provides us with the sense that our lives matter, that they make sense, and that they are more than the sum of

our seconds, days, and years.

M. Steger

P E R M A

The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to

excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.

Vince Lombardi

Wall-E

How do you eat an elephant?

Goal SettingWhat does Done look like?

What is the Next Step?

How can it be Measured?

Running a Marathon26.2 miles

Run 3x weekIncrease mileage every Friday

You can run 3 miles easy*

P E R M A

Re-label Emotions

Frustration

Worry

Dread

Flustered

Alarmed

Pressured

Fear

Desire

Concern

Caution

Excited

Curious

Courted

Anticapated

I’m not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail

my ship.

Louisa May Alcott

http://bit.ly/1yYjd65

Some Books to Read