Residential Life Sidney Pacific, Hall Councilor Training.

Residential Life

Sidney Pacific, Hall Councilor Training

Residential Life

Sidney Pacific, Hall Councilor

TrainingAugust 12, 2003

Residential Life

6 to 6:15 >> Dilbert

6:15 to 7:30 >> Councilor Training

7:30 to 8:15 >> Break & Practicum

8:15 to 9 >> Food and safety

9 >> SPEC wrap

Schedule

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I. Pre-a n s inform int rv ntion

2. A ious inform and f rm l int rv ntion

III. St ing back

C nc l r Tr n ng

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6 to 6:15 >> Dilbert

6:15 to 7:30 >> Councilor Training

7:30 to 8:15 >> Break & Practicum

8:15 to 9 >> Food and safety

9 >> SPEC wrap

Schedule

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I. Pre-acrimonious informal intervention

II. Acrimonious informal and formal intervention

III. Stepping back

Councilor Training

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1. Preparing never to have a problem

2. Listening

3. Facilitating conversation and solution

4. Keeping records

5. Confidentiality and privacy

I. Pre-acrimonious Informal Intervention

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Groundwork

Initial meetingexpectations, role

roommate styles (next slide)

early eventsaccessibility, impartiality

casual, broad appeal

examples?

Never Have a Problem

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Get them to think about

it

Get them to talk about it

Open up a channel

Before anything happens

Before they come to you

StylesSchedules•morning•evening

Food•shopping•cookingCleaningGuestsShared space

Roommate Styles

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2. Listening


4. Keeping records


Pre-acrimonious Informal Intervention

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What is the issue?are you sure?

how long has this been going on?

Talk to both parties yourselfit is easy to forget that there are usually two sides to the story

impartial

If they want to talk, let them talkoften this is all they want

Listening

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Eye contact, Engaged

Questions, when necessary

Resist the urge to jump in yourself, with a solution or a similar experience

Be careful not to become “the only one I can talk to”

Always be ready to ask if you can ask for help

Listening, II

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2. Listening


4. Keeping records



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Have they talked to each other?amazing number of solutions start this way!

What role do they want you to play?ask

“help us to work it out” vs “work it out for us”

facilitator

Investment, ownership, collaboratefair, lasting

on compromise and collaboration

Conversation

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Identify the problem, ground rules

Find a goal and agree on it, an objective

Organize and guide the conversationon topic, and one (topic) at a time

remember your goal

You are a semi-permeable barrierdirect heated comments through you

paraphrase possibly inflammatory remarks

on topic, and one (person) at a time

share the job if you can

Facilitation

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Negotiating parties assume attitudes along these two (of many) vectors:

Interests and Positions

Interests:collaborative, cooperativeintegrative, mixed motiveproblem solving as opposed to “justice”, rights and power

Positions:competitive (or avoiding), assertive (or unassertive)

distributive

“justice”, rights and power rather than problem solving

Interests vs Positions

Adapted with thanks from Mary Rowe, Kelvin Chin, MIT Ombuds Office

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Vectors of Resolution

avoid

compete

accommodate

compromise

collaborate

Adapted with thanks from Mary Rowe, Kelvin Chin, MIT Ombuds Office,and Kenneth Thomas, The Handbook of Industrial and Organizational Psychology, 1976.

I ssue

Relationship

ass e

rti ve

cooperative

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Avoidingunassertive and uncooperative

neither issues nor interests are pursued

Accommodatingunassertive but cooperative

interests sacrificed for relationships

Competingassertive and uncooperative

interests pursued at others’ expense

5 Modes of Resolution

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Compromisingbetween assertive and cooperative

partial solutions,

find common points of at least minimal satisfaction

Collaboratingboth assertive and cooperative

more robust and satisfactory solutions than compromised ones

aim for both parties to achieve goals

look together beyond issues and assumptions

Adapted with thanks from Mary Rowe, Kelvin Chin, MIT Ombuds Office,and Kenneth Thomas, The Handbook of Industrial and Organizational Psychology, 1976.

Residential Life

They have probably thought about the problem

They may have determined their‘Worst Possible Outcome’ (wpo)

‘Best Possible Outcome’ (bpo)

‘Acceptable Outcome’ (ao)

Help them to look for a collaborative solution (cs)

Towards Solution

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Solution

Position A Position B

(ao)

possible solution

possible solution(cs)

(cs)

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2. Listening


4. Keeping records



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Importance:for you >> what works, what not-so-much

for others >> housemasters, medical, etc., legal

How? journal

email

dated, organized, stored

remember confidentiality (more on this next)

post yourself a letter

postmark dated, official record

safer confidentiality

Keeping Records

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2. Listening


4. Keeping records



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Really “Confidentiality and Privacy”

What can you promise?You are morally (and probably legally) obliged to break whatever confidentially you promised if your student poses a reasonable risk of harming themselves or others, or is a risk to national security, or is a risk to damage property on a large scale

Best not to talk about “Confidentiality” at all, but instead...

Confidentiality: Trap

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What should you promise?

Privacy

How about something like this:“I will do everything I can to protect your privacy, but I cannot promise you that - no matter what you tell me - I’ll never tell another soul. If you tell me something I am extremely uncomfortable with, or something I am not prepared to handle, then, after talking to you about it first, I may have to seek advice.”

Confidentiality: Should

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ExamplesWhat kind of thing? Advice from whom?

What is privacy?

Your role >>> First step

Who else can help?

Other kinds of confidentiality?Medical, CSS

Police

Ombuds

Confidentiality: Help

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I. Pre-acrimonious informal intervention

II. Acrimonious informal and formal intervention (another time)

III. Stepping back

Councilor Training

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When and why?

How?

Where?

Preparation

Following up

III. Stepping Back

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Anytime

Always remember: you are not a trained counselor and are not expected to be one

Good reasons to step back:uncomfortable, unqualified

not (or not perceived to be) impartial

legal issues in the wings

MIT is already involved

your own schedule is prohibitive

When and Why?

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When and why?

How?

Where?

Preparation

Following up

Stepping Back

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Ask permission of your student

Share with them your reasons (roughly)

Explain that you are not abandoning them, and will help them find the right person

importance of familiarity with MIT

follow up

Ask if you can accompany them

How?

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When and why?

How?

Where?

Preparation

Following up

Stepping Back

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MIT is resource rich (good and bad):Housemasters

Dean on Call

Night Line (def tuv tuv oper oper)

SLP

CSS

Medical

Ombuds office

Department

http://web.mit.edu/lifesites/

http://web.mit.edu/residence/tutor/resources.html

Where?

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When and why?

How?

Where?

Preparation

Following up

Stepping Back

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Always ask your student (see ‘How?’)

Notes? (see ‘Keeping Records’)

Talk to the Housemasters

Talk to SLP

representation?

Preparation

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When and why?

How?

Where?

Preparation

Following up

Stepping Back

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Probably difficultprivacy, confidentiality

Re-entry

Fairness and respect

Rumour control

Following Up

Residential Life

Residential Life Sidney Pacific, Hall Councilor Training.

Documents

Transcript of Residential Life Sidney Pacific, Hall Councilor Training.