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realize she means my shoes. Setting my bag on the floor, I bend over and undo the Velcro straps and slide them off. My feet hit the cold linoleum and I long for my shoes back. I have no idea that I won’t be seeing my shoes for a long time. The nurse takes them away and comes back with a wristband. She puts it on loose. Just another thing for me to play with. “You will lose privileges if it comes off,” she tells me. I say nothing. privileges if it comes off,” she tells me. I say nothing. My brain is beginning to thaw. The fear is creeping back. I try and stop it by metering my breathing into a steady rhythm. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. It’s not working. I start to panic. My heart is racing. I can’t catch my breath. The nausea comes back full swing. I’m shaking uncontrollably. More people are coming around me. The tell me to calm down. I can see she is crying. I feel like dying. I can barely stand anymore, but someone she is crying. I feel like dying. I can barely stand anymore, but someone is holding me up. There is shouting as someone calls for 2 milligrams of Lorazepam. Suddenly there is a sharp pain in my arm and I can see a syringe with clear liquid being injected. I start to scream but too soon, everything goes black.