Relationships - April 2006

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Connecting Sydney Christadelphian Young People

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We look at how to build and maintain healthy, God-centered relationships in all their forms.

Transcript of Relationships - April 2006

Page 1: Relationships - April 2006

Connecting Sydney Christadelphian Young People

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The Vine is published every two months by the Sydney Christadelphian Young People.

Editorial Team: Jenny Galbraith, Julia Thompson, Jenni Sawell, Katie Shields, Leah Sawell and Angela Bowe

Masthead design: Alisa Thompson

Layout: Jenny Galbraith

Cover photography: Prue Philp

Contributors: Cameron Shaw, Bernadin, Felicity Dangerfi eld, Mitch and Miri Hardy, Julia Thompson, Rowan Barton, Luke Shields, Rosie Lawrie, Asha Watson, Robyn Henry, Jono Miles, Jacqui Shaw, Jodie Errington, Jenni Norwood, Charlotte Burgess, James Hillhouse, Ben Pooley

The Vine is published to the glory of our Heavenly Father, through whom all things are made possible

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The reality of relationshipsOur relationships with one another and with God are more important than anything else in this world. Unless we are a hermit we come in contact with people everyday, and because they form such a huge part of our lives, it is helpful to discuss ways to live harmoniously with each other in ways that are pleasing to God.

God has given us different relationships in our lives to teach us different lessons, and all our relationships should refl ect our relationship with God. Courtship and ultimately marriage, a vow of commitment two people make to each other, refl ects the commitment we make with God at baptism to love and serve Him forever. Our relationships with our parents refl ect the love God has for us as His children. And our relationships with our brothers, sisters and friends should imitate our relationship with our perfect brother, Jesus Christ.

In the second edition of The Vine we have covered several aspects of relationships which are especially important for young people, as it is now we fi rst develop friends and partners for life. Through His word we are encouraged to make God the centre of all our relationships, and to treat each other with the respect a child of God deserves. “Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another… if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us” (1 John:11-12).

As we are human and not yet perfect, there will always come times in our relationships when things go wrong, when unkind words are said, or even when two people grow apart from each other. Try to take the advice given in these articles and apply to your own lives, always striving to encourage one another and build up each other in the Lord.

How we should behave with our boyfriend or girlfriend is one of the most challenging issues faced by Christian young people. Respecting your partner and having an open channel of communication with them really helps in working out how God wants you to behave. Self-control is not only a helpful lesson to learn when dealing with romantic relationships, it also helps in many other areas of our lives.

The greatest relationship we can ever have is with our Father. Cherish the gift of love He has given us, and try to share the love of God with everyone around you. “Dear Friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God” (1 John 4:7).

With love in the Lord,

The Editorial Team

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9 A Summer of LoveFind out how two committed groups of young people spread God’s word over the summer.

3 Cities of RefugeDo you let the sun go down on your anger?

5 How to live happily ever afterRead some advice about what works and what doesn’t from couples in different stages of relationships.

11 Photo Spread!

13 How far is too far?Read some helpful advice on how to behave with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

7 Youth Overseas: IndiaSee how the young people in India strive to serve God.

8 Being SingleA gift and an opportunity.

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16 When relationships go wrongAll relationships go through rough patches. How do we know when to keep some distance?

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When you start thinking about your friendships, much as it pains us, it’s not always been as rosy as we hoped it would: why did I say that? What made me start that silly fight? Why do I never answer her phone calls? Is he avoiding me at the moment, and why? Relationships don’t always go right. This is a consequence of our nature. Even the friendships of the Lord Jesus Christ became troublesome: “Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me” (Psa 41:9).We are at the age where relationships are being formed for life. Look around you. Who will be your best friends in 15 years time? If I consider my closest friends, my friendships with these people developed when I was aged 5, 14, 16, 26 and 27. Treasure these relationships: “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Pro 18:24). Tragically, we are also of the age when friendships may be lost for life. I ‘lost’ friendships at the ages of 15, 17, 18, 19, 25 etc. Not a very good record!

In fact, it’s really easy to make good friends when you are young, but it’s harder to make good friends when your older, (how often do you see your folks hang around 100 other groovy kids like you do every weekend at TXT Class, SCYP or CYC?). We’ve got a limited time in which to make our best friends, but our whole lives to potentially lose them! ‘But what’s the title got to do with what you are rabbiting on about?’ Ok. Who knows what the cities of refuge were? Hands up please… Yes Brother Nick? “The cities of refuge were six cities appointed in the Law of Moses where the ‘manslayer’ (that is, someone who killed someone unintentionally) could flee and escape any irate relatives of the dead man who thought the manslayer would look better with a pruning fork through his gullet.’ Now, this might be a long bow, but I’d like to draw a parallel between the Cities of Refuge and our own relationships or friendships.

Put up your hand if you agree with these statements:

“I have some great friends”“I’ve got more friends now than five years ago”

“Now that I think about it, I’m not as close to … as I was a couple of years back”

“Yeah, I’m not always the best friend I could be”“I should probably try and patch things up with … ”

“But they really don’t deserve that, they should apologise first!”

Cities of Refuge

The friend, the manslayer and the...

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At any time in a friendship we can do the friendly equivalent of knocking someone off accidentally with a flying axe head. One of the great benefits and challenges of young people’s groups is that you are just in each other’s faces all the time. When things go a bit sour, that makes it real tough. So if you’ve caused damage, or feeling damaged and very angry, take some time out for the rage to quieten down. But, here’s the rub: the manslayer could only stay in the city of refuge for a limited period of time. In fact, it was a completely arbitrary period of time: “Because he should have remained in the city of his refuge until the death of the high priest: but after the death of the high priest the slayer shall return into the land of his possession” (Num 35:28). What’s the deal? Sounds like the first thing a manslayer should do when he arrived at the City of Refuge is give the High Priest a quick medical and work out how long he had to sort things out with the revenge-

driven relatives. Depending on the age of the high priest it could’ve been one year or maybe 10. But the point is that the manslayer had no idea how long he had. So, the manslayer’s thoughts on the night he arrives is (or should’ve been): ‘Damage control mode – what’s my plan for sorting it out with the relatives?’ There’s no way he’s leaving the city without reconciling. The Cities of Refuge teach us that with any breakdown in a relationship the commencement of the reconciliation plan should start straight away. Remember God’s plan for reconciliation with the world started even before the world existed! Next time you become a ‘friend-slayer’ get thinking about reconciliation straight away. The ‘time of the high-priest’s death’ could be any time, and if you haven’t sorted things out by then it may be too late. It takes a lifetime to make a friend, and only a second to lose one.

Put up your hand if you agree with these statements:

“I have some great friends”“I’ve got more friends now than five years ago”

“Now that I think about it, I’m not as close to … as I was a couple of years back”

“Yeah, I’m not always the best friend I could be”“I should probably try and patch things up with … ”

“But they really don’t deserve that, they should apologise first!”

Cities of Refuge

The friend, the manslayer and the...

Cameron Shaw

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Live happilyHow to:

ever afterLuke Shields and Rosie LawrieBoth in Year 12, going out for about four years. They met at a study weekend in 2000.“Don’t change yourself for someone else, but mature together in Christ’s footsteps.”

Roger and Virginia ErringtonMarried 14 years, parents of two children aged four and two. They met at Mittagong 1983, Virginia was from Taree and Roger was from Sydney.“Don’t rush into anything, do what is right for you and not what your parents or peers expect you to do. We all have good times and bad, the good times far outweigh the bad. Remember why you fell in love and celebrate it everyday.”

Heather Rendell and Mark StewartIn their 20s, going out for one and a half years. They met through Heather’s best friend. Mark was the boy-next-door! “Always try to understand the other person’s point of view and don’t get tied up with your own feelings. Be open with one another and let each other know your boundaries.”

Phil and Jacqui Collins Married 23 years, parents of four kids aged 17 and under. They met in 1978 at a ‘Midway’ Young Peoples camp near Coffs Harbour. Phil was from Brisbane and Jacqui was from Sydney.

“Accept that as you get older and your eyesight gets worse, the good-sort that you once married hasn’t really changed much. Despite the hair-loss, wrinkles, extra handles, gut, monobrow, veins, back-hairs, un-ironed skin and ear-hairs…you’re still married to the same good-sort.”“More importantly, share the same faith and understanding of God’s word.”

Ross and Monica Lapham Married 50+ years, grandparents of fi ve aged 20 and under. They met at Lakemba Sunday School aged six and four.“Think more of the other person than you do of yourself, be partners in all that you do… have the same beliefs and ideologies, and share the same goals.”

When I asked fi ve couples at different stages of life some questions about

relationships, I expected very different answers. Yet

their opinions regarding the best, hardest and

most important aspects of relationships were

almost identical. These major relationships ‘must haves’ seem to cross the

boundaries of age, marriage and raising a family.

by Katie Shields

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1. Talk, listen and try to understand each other!

2. Be honest, and then trusting each other will be easier.

3. Have patience with one another, say sorry and don’t hold grudges or seek revenge.

4. Respect each other’s space, don’t crowd each other.

5. Be willing to compromise, you can’t always get your own way.

6. Have fun together; humour can make the bad times better especially if you laugh at your own mistakes.

7. Show that you appreciate one another, say thankyou.

8. Share everything. There is no ‘me’, it’s ‘we’.

9. Help each other in everyday life and to walk with Christ.

10. Be kind to your best friend, you LOVE each other remember!

Top Ten:

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Loving greetings to dear ones in the Lord,I’m Bernadin, one of the Christadelphian young people in Mandya, a small city in Karnataka State, South India. It’s really good to heed the advice of King Solomon in Ecc 12:1 when he says, “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I fi nd no pleasure in them”. We are about 35 young people in Karnataka.

Some of us are studying in College, in University and working part time. Five years back the young people in Karnataka didn’t know each other by name, nor did we know what was happening in each one’s life. We had heard about other CYCs but never had one in Karnataka. But by God’s grace, a thought of having camps fl ashed in the minds of a few young people. We now have a KCY - Karnataka Christadelphian Youth weekend every two months. Nearly 30 young people gather for this weekend from different parts of Karnataka. We make sure we take time off from college, work etc to come. We always have very uplifting studies that encourage us to Seek First the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness. There was a time when we young people used

to attend the Memorial Meeting on Sundays and go back home, without making any attempt to build up friendship and fellowship in Christ. But from the time we started having KCY weekends, we love each other so much that we are delighted to share with each other not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because we have become so dear to each other. (As in 1 Thes 1:8) Our KCY coordinators are so encouraging and good examples for us to commit our lives to

God and rejoice in serving Him. Over the last few years, many of us got baptised and are now walking towards the Kingdom together. The friendship God has blessed us with has been so wonderful, it keeps us from being friendly with the world.

There are still a few young people who haven’t made their commitment to the Lord, but we pray God will move their hearts too. The activities we have at KCY are studies, Defending the Truth workshops, discussions on challenging questions, drama, games, and prayer group sessions. It’s so encouraging to be a part of the Youth Circle in Karnataka, both for us and for those who come from other states and countries. We pray that “He who began a good work in us will carry it onto the completion until the day of Christ.” (Phil 1:6), so that we can be together with others from all over the world in the Kingdom of God, which I pray will be established soon with the return of our Lord. Sister Bernadin

We love each other so much that we are delighted to share with each other not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because we have become so dear to each other.

Seeking His Kingdom

Indiain

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Single

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SingleWhy am I single? Doesn’t God love me?God loves each of us very much. “The very hairs of your head are all numbered” (Matt 10:30). Besides, “He has made everything to suit its time” (Ecc 3:11). There are many seasons in our lives, sometimes we are single, sometimes we walk together - all stages are good.

Is there something wrong with me?No! We are all a work in progress. Like a potter shapes the clay God is shaping our characters.

Doesn’t the Bible say it is not good for man to be alone?Marriage is God’s design and a Godly marriage is a blessing. “A capable wife is her husband’s crown” (Prov 12:4). So choose a helper wisely - someone to help you walk to the Kingdom. However, marriage is not the only situation to be in. We may be single by circumstance or choice but it is up to us to live each day to the full, fi nding opportunities to serve God. Pursue mission work overseas, prepare Bible studies, teach Sunday School, talk to younger people at ecclesial activities, actively care for other people, use your talents – be it music, art, drama, speaking, organising, cooking – sometimes just being there can encourage others! (Luke 19:13).

I have prayed to God but He doesn’t seem to be listening – surely He knows how I feel!God is a great listener. His answer might be ‘no’ or it might be ‘not yet’. He provides answers through His Word, other people and life’s experiences. You can trust His timing (it is always perfect!). “You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose fi rm and put their trust in you. Trust in the Lord for ever; he will always protect us.” (Is 26:3-4).

I am the only one who is aloneThere are a lot of people alone due to a variety of circumstances. Serve others. “Do not merely look out for your own interests but also the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus” (Phil 2:4-5). There are many single role models in the Bible: John the Baptist, Paul, Ruth before she met Boaz and of course Jesus Christ.

I want someone I can depend on who will provide all my needsGod is the one we should depend on. “He is my Rock of deliverance, my tower of strength” (Ps 62:2). Only a relationship with Him can fi ll our deep longing for peace and security. Paul says “work out your own salvation” (Phil 2:12); we cannot rely on a partner. It mightn’t seem like it but

Being a gift and an opportunity

our physical needs can wait. We have to take time to fi nd the right life partner to so we have a partner for life. We can achieve this through prayer and a total reliance on Him if it is His will.

But all my friends are married!They still need the love and support of their single friends. True friends are always friends. Solomon said, “a friend may stick closer than a brother” (Prov 18:24). Stay involved in each other’s lives. “Be joyful with the joyful, and mourn with the mourners” (Rom 12:15). Married friends also offer a great insight into a different relationship.

There aren’t any prospective partners in the Truth. Should I look elsewhere?With God timing is everything. Did you ever consider that the right person isn’t ready for you yet? When we are baptised, we become engaged to Christ and join God’s family. “Come away and leave them, separate yourselves...I will be a father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters” (2 Cor 6:17-18). If the Kingdom of God is our chosen destination then it is vital to choose a marriage partner who is striving for the same goal.Ultimately, life is about learning to submit to God’s plan for our lives and use the opportunities He presents to develop the His fruits in our lives. Learn to be content in every situation. Let go and let God!

Single

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by Felicity Dangerfi eld

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From January 19 to February 1 this year, a group of five young people visited the Cook Islands. The group included Mitch and Miri Hardy, Ryan Simkus, Dave Bowe and Stephen Hindmarsh, and the specific aim of this trip, apart from having fellowship with Bro Mata, and visiting contacts, was to promote and hold a series of seminars entitled ‘The Kingdom of God’. We held four seminars in total, centred around God’s name and purpose, the Kingdom on earth, seeking the Kingdom and baptism. We went to great lengths to advertise the seminars! We advertised in the newspaper and on TV, and we spent time doorknocking and handing out leaflets. The doorknocking enabled us to meet lots of people and we had some interesting discussions with people from a variety of different religious groups. These discussions lasted from anywhere between ten minutes to three hours, and helped us grow an appreciation of our simple faith. Our contacts, in true Cook Islander fashion, were slow to track down and slightly lazy but once we caught up with them they were keen to learn more and had plenty of questions. It was great to spend a few hours over lunch talking

about the Bible with people that genuinely wanted to know more about God’s plan and purpose. We have gained a new and very interested contact as a result of the seminars. Metua Kite came to every seminar and was very excited about the daily reading chart and Bible Basics course we gave her. She enjoys reading the Bible for herself. Of course, apart from all this, the main reason for visiting the Cook Islands is to share time and fellowship and the breaking of bread with our brother Mata. We did the daily readings with Mata every day, and enjoyed lots of good chats under the mango tree! His strong faith and total reliance on God are an inspiration to everyone who meets him. We also cut down trees, climbed coconut trees, had an Umu (underground oven), scaled mountains and grew together as a group in prayer and fellowship. If you are wondering, the best time to go preaching is the day after yesterday, the worst part about it all is coming home. You’ll learn more than you can imagine, grow strong friendships, offer someone eternal life and make someone like Bro Mata’s day.

Mitch and Miri Hardy

Cook Islands

of LoveA Summer

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India

of LoveA Summer

In December and January 2005/6 I had the opportunity to spend some time in India. Felicity Dangerfield and I spent six weeks in the south of India. During this time we very much enjoyed attending an All India Bible week, a CYC Youth weekend and the end of year Christmas programs put on by Moinabad Children’s Home, Shunem Children’s and Aged Care Home, the Christadelphian Leper Colony and Leper Street Clinic. We spent Christmas, New Year and much other valuable time with brothers and sisters, children and young people. Indian culture is different to what I am familiar with here in Australia. The food, clothes, customs, language, streets, shops, currency, weather… but the people are not different. Indian people have challenges, experiences, happiness, doubts, fears, joys, confusion, sadness, as do people all over the world. People in India face the same life decisions as people in Sydney. Is there a God? If yes what does that mean for me? Will I commit my life to Him? Do I want to be in the Kingdom? And as people are doing here in Sydney, so there are

many dedicated people in India working really hard to plant seeds to bring people to God. Parts of the country of India are stunning. Indian culture can be intoxicating. But this doesn’t mean that there is something inherently special or magic about India itself. I do not suggest we all jump on a plane over there right now. Likewise there is nothing particularly special about me because I was able go to India. So what is special about it? What is special are the individual people who have heard God’s Word and responded, no matter their country, language, culture. What is special is the increasing number of people worldwide who have chosen life and with whom we will experience God’s perfect love for ever in the Kingdom. This is what I take away with me from my trip. Sydney, India, outer Mongolia, it doesn’t matter where you are. It matters whose you are.

Julia Thompson

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Watersports Day

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Progressive Dinner

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prepare. It’s much easier to clarify your thoughts about an issue before you’re actually in the situation. By then your judgement is clouded. Work out your own boundaries before you’re tempted to go too far. And build up the courage to discuss it with your partner. Decide as a couple exactly where your boundaries lie. Be prepared for times when the hint of temptation is likely to lurk around the next corner.

Centre your relationship on God, encourage each other and grow together in Christ, instead of focusing on the physical pleasures you can get out of the relationship.

Small things lead to bigger things. God says that to look on a woman lustfully is to commit adultery (Matt 5:28). God knows that thoughts lead to actions which lead to sin (James 1:15). The small things are important, because they lead to bigger things. You may think that touching your partner’s private parts and passionatekissing is not sex, and therefore okay, but these things ARE really part of “having sex” and are inappropriate actions outside of marriage as they are meant to lead to other things. The more we push the boundaries the further we will go. God knows this and that’s why he says to stay far away from temptations. Look at

A

God invented sex and He made us sexual beings. Sex is not a dirty word or a bad thing. In the right place and at the right time sex is a beautiful thing. There is no list of rules in the Bible about how much physical contact is right before marriage. We know clearly that sex before marriage, ‘fornication’, is not acceptable in God’s eyes (Gal 5:19). But apart from that we must draw our own conclusions and look at the principles God has given us.

Sexual purity God has asked us to keep our bodies pure, not to give in to lust, or to even show a hint of it. Our body is a temple for God (1 Cor 6:19-20), to be kept in holiness and honour, not in lust (1Thess 4:3) and we are not to show even a hint of sexual immorality or impurity (Eph 5:3).

Temptation Going too far sexually before marriage can be a huge temptation for many people in a relationship. Humans have a strong sexual drive, and we need to recognise this and be ready to overcome temptation when it arises. Explore the issue: think about it, pray about it, talk about it with your boyfriend or girlfriend. And

‘How far is too far’ physically in a relationship is arguably a more pressing issue than ever before. We live in a sex-soaked world and our current culture

bombards us with sexual images, ideas and morals through music, magazines, movies, television and the internet. Kissing, holding hands, ‘caressing’, lying down together, hugging, undressing, touching, sexual intercourse. How far IS

too far? Is there a right answer?

TouchySubject

How far is too far?

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Joseph’s example. Sexual temptation came close and he fled as fast as he could in the other direction. We too are to flee sexual immorality (1Cor 6:18), not dabble with it and see how far we can go before it’s too far. The closer we allow ourselves to get to temptation the easier it is for us to succumb to it.

Respect God asks us to respect others. People in relationships have a responsibility to their girlfriend or boyfriend and to others who see them. Would our behaviour change if we knew the person we are with would one day marry someone else? It is worth thinking about because it’s a real possibility, and it may help us to treat them now with the kind of respect God asks. Even if you think you are going to marry the person you are with, respect them enough to wait until you are married.

ConsequencesGod is not a spoil sport. There are reasons He says things and creates boundaries. Going too far sexually with a partner before marriage has consequences. What effects might going ‘too far’ with a partner before marriage have? It can fill our minds with ungodly thoughts, distance us from God, leave you with huge feelings of guilt and ruin potential for future meaningful relationships. These consequences can last right through adulthood and affect other relationships in the future. GuidelinesHere are three specific guidelines that have been suggested taking into account what we have just discussed. This is not the be all and end all of guidelines. But have a look. Are they in line with what you think would please God? They might give you a place to start from.1. Lights on 2. Clothes on 3. Do not touch each other’s private parts

Guilt and forgivenessIf you have already gone too far with your partner now

or a previous partner, it’s not too late. You can stop and change, and God wants you to change. With God it’s never too late. God offers forgiveness no matter what you have done, and offers you freedom from guilt. You can be pure again. God is a loving father who wants you in His Kingdom. Think of David and the huge sins he committed. Adultery and murder (2 Sam 11&12). He faced consequences and suffered pain as a result, but David repented, and God forgave him of those huge sins, and counted him a man after His own heart. God is more than prepared to welcome us back with open arms when we run to him. If you feel you and your partner are going too far, ask God for the courage to talk to your partner about it. If they don’t want to stop or get angry, then maybe you should consider if your relationship is one God wants for you. Your relationship with God is more important than any relationship you

can have with someone else. Be assured, you have a 100 per cent guarantee God has not stopped caring for you. He has not stopped waiting for you to come to Him. God’s love and forgiveness is huge. Don’t underestimate Him (1 John 1:9).

Ultimately this is really about pursuing an authentic relationship with God and His Son. Our relationship with God is crucial no matter what the specific issues or temptations we face. God knows what we face, and Jesus understands sexual temptation. He experienced all temptations, and he overcame. He remained 100 per cent pure (Heb 4:15). So like Jesus, we need to get to know God’s principles, His character, His plan for us and for the world. We need to keep our focus on what is good, pure and right (Phil 4:8) and prepare ourselves for the ultimate in joy and happiness the Kingdom of God. Our trust in God helps us overcome temptation. Constant prayer for strength to do the right thing cannot be overemphasised. God wants us to come to him and ask Him for support in facing this giant battle. And He has guaranteed that He wants to help us win!

The Editorial Team with extracts from an article by Jono Miles

Ultimately this is really about pursuing authentic relationship with God and His Son.

Need more help?

If you need more information on this subject, or would like to talk to someone you can trust contact: - the Christadelphian Support Service, a 24 hour confidential telephone contact service: 0407 558 819 - SCYP presidents Ian and Jenni Sawell: 9896 4961

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What I look for in a guy is a sense of humour. I like a guy who will be a gentleman and that will protect or stand up for you even if he knows you’re in the wrong. I would prefer them to be outgoing and not take things so seriously, but also be responsible. - Annie Lawrie

Where do I start? Needs to make me laugh, and make me feel good. Doesn’t bag out others, respects me and loves God. Being hot would be a plus but I’d need to feel it’s what God wants! - Asha Watson

I look for a sensitive girl who is optimistic and humble. - Luke Shields

A friendly, open and warm conversationalist, who likes to laugh with me. - Rosie Lawrie

Loves God and you can see it in the way she acts and presents herself. Has a really caring selfl ess heart putting others before herself, is non-conformist thinking things out for herself not believing everything she is told. Willing to live on the edge. I can be my stupid self around her and can have loads of fun! - Rowan Barton

What are you looking

for?

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When

suffocated, controlled, unheard, unimportant or unloved. Maybe we are doing that to someone else?Remember: God did not give us permission to change any other person. But he does tell us to change the way we relate to another if that relationship is hurting or painful.Recommended Book: Boundaries (Cloud and Townsend). How do you know when it is best to end a relationship?I don’t think God has given us the right to end a relationship. We are all His children. But we must change a relationship if it is damaging to us or to another person. Let’s think about Jesus’ relationship with the Pharisees.a) He worked hard at trying to resolve difference. He listened to their opinions, he answered them respectfully and truthfully (that takes some practice!).He was even prepared to talk to Nicodemus when he came late at night.b) Jesus let people make up their own minds; walk their own journeys. He shone with love, care and truth to others.If they did not value relationship with Him, He did not gossip, talk behind their backs or persist in lecturing or bullying them. He created some distance. Those people became acquaintances rather than friends.Helpful Hint: Love means always treating other people with respect.

Robyn Henry

Why are relationships so Important? In the Garden of Eden God told Adam it was important for him to be in a relationship with another person. Why?- God’s children NEED to be loved - He built it into us.- God’s children NEED to love.- We need to relate to others to learn more about ourselves. Positive relationships help us to grow and change.- Strong and positive relationship with others helps to build our relationship with God and Jesus. In relating to family and friends we must be as much like Jesus as we can.“My commandment is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:12). What are the most common things that go wrong in relationships? We all have different temperaments, personalities, family life and experiences. God celebrates difference. “Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body...we have different gifts” (Rom 12:4-6).But we get into wanting people to be like us; to see things our way. We want to change people.If we feel that we do not have room to change and grow in a relationship, it will go wrong. We feel

relationshipsgo wrong...

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time we have been the same – the letters constantly have to remind believers not to grumble at each other and to stick to the things that matter.

So what does matter? I think the simple answer to that is people matter, relationships matter. The way we treat each other is what God is interested in.

Here are some practical ways to show that we matter to each other.

1. Make time for friendsEveryone is busy in their own little worlds. It’s really important to make sure you stop and think about your friends. Use your diary and plan ahead of time to meet up before a SCYP class or a Saturday morning at the beach. Take time out to email a little note to a friend to see what’s going on in their life. Call your friends on week nights. Even though it’s old fashioned – do little things like actually send a birthday card through

I love being a Christadelphian. I know we have a funny long name, but I love telling people that I am a Christadelphian and that we are a group of people found all over the world. I love telling people that I can jump on a plane and go to Melbourne and meet with hundreds of people called Christadelphians and I know they believe the same as me. Or I can jump on a plane to Hong Kong, India or Sri Lanka and fi nd more of these wonderful people called Christadelphians. We all believe that Jesus is coming back to set up an amazing Kingdom. We all believe that our God is one God who is our Father and cares for us all as adopted children. We all believe that the Bible holds the key as to how we should act today and that in the future we can gain eternal life.

I am always amazed that the little letters in the Bible have so many wonderful gems of inspiration that I can actually apply to my life today. I guess it also shows that throughout

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the snail mail to your friends.

2. Meet New PeopleGet out of your comfort zone and make new friends. Each SCYP class make it a goal to meet three new people. Wouldn’t it be great if we were all close friends and were always there for each other in the good times and the bad times.

3. Build all your friendships on God Find practical ways to include God in all your relationships. Every Tuesday morning try to write a txt to a friend with a Bible quote that you recently read and enjoyed. Talk to your friends about the studies and talks you hear brethren give at classes. Try to stay on topics that will help you on your walk to the Kingdom. Read the Bible together. Pray together.

4. Visit other ecclesiasToo often I hear people make comments about how ecclesias do things, and they haven’t even been there to visit. Visit other meetings, meet the brothers and sisters there, see for yourself that we truly have a

Find

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wonderful bond when it is based on Christ’s sacrifi ce. I believe having friends from all different cultures within Christadelphia is really important. Peel back the silly layers and see that deep down we are all trying to ‘guard that truth’ that’s found in the Bible. Always try to listen to other opinions and then test those with your own study of the scriptures.

5. Concentrate on positive thingsDo not grumble. It’s so much easier to see things that went wrong or that you didn’t like. Try looking for something positive you can get out of a study or an event you attend. It may even be as simple as sitting next to a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Christadelphia isn’t perfect, but nowhere this side of the Kingdom will be. Get involved, be positive, be Biblical. Building lasting friendships will always be the key to building unity.“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true,…noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things” (Philippians 4:8).

by Jacqui Shaw

Ben Pooley

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When I think of the Kingdom, the image that immediately pops into my mind is that of a beautiful sunrise over a pristine beach with clear, clean water lapping on the shore. It’s interesting to consider, however, that even the most beautiful of scenes we can imagine will be far

from the splendor of the Kingdom. Although to me, the untouched parts of creation seem to be how God intended the world, we should realize that this world is tainted with sin and destruction. This world will be changed to display a much more wonderful creation when the Kingdom comes – yet how much more perfect could this creation possibly be?Picture this: “The desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose…for waters shall burst forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert. The parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty

land springs of water…” (Isa 35:1, 6-7). “The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them” (Isa 11:6).The fi nal chapters of Revelation also provide us with some insight in order to maintain our vision of the Kingdom, particularly in the description of the New Jerusalem: “…having the glory of God. Her light was like a most

precious stone, like a jasper stone, clear as crystal…The construction of its wall was of jasper;

and the city was pure gold, like clear glass. The foundations of the

wall of the city were adorned with all kinds of precious

stones: … jasper, … sapphire, … chalcedony,

…emerald, …sardonyx, …sardius, …chrysolite, …beryl, …topaz, …chrysoprase, …jacinth, …amethyst. The twelve gates were twelve pearls: each individual gate was of one pearl. And the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass…the city had no need of the sun or of the moon to shine in it, for the glory of God illuminated it. The Lamb is its light” (Rev 21:11,18-21, 23). This city would be an amazing sight to see. It is also interesting to consider that these descriptions can be interpreted as representing the saints of the Kingdom age, suggested in verses 9 and 10 of chapter 21. “One of the seven angels talked with me, saying, “Come, I will show you the bride, the Lamb’s wife.” And he…showed me the great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God…” This picture therefore can be applied to us! We will be as beautiful jewels, having the glory of God, which will illuminate us! Not only will all of creation be changed for the better – but so will all of us! We will no longer sin, feel pain, nor be weighed down by our weak bodies. God assured us of this through Paul’s fi rst letter to the Corinthians. “The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption. It is sown in dishonour, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body…and as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly Man…we shall all be changed—in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed” (15:42-44, 49, 51-52). It is amazing to consider that we will be part of the magnifi cence of the renewed creation. Although we do not know exactly what this world and we will be like, we can still take courage in the hope that God will be all in all, and in us! “It has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him…” (1 John 3:2).

Capturing theKingdom

by Jodie Errington

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Our young people enjoy SCYP, TXT and West Ryde activities as well as being very enthusiastic about organising and attending our new young people’s group that has just got underway. The yet-to-be-named West Ryde young people’s get-together is aimed at creating a relaxed atmosphere in which to chat about subjects relevant to us. It will also give us

great chances to develop our friendships at activities (including beach afternoons, picnics, camping, bike riding etc). We have 25 young people at West Ryde, with lots of youngsters fast coming up the ranks. We all are involved with the ecclesia, organising the music and looking after all the kids at our recent ecclesial camp, as well as playing at the memorial meeting. Something we all love about West Ryde is that the ecclesia as a whole enjoys spending time together, especially at our ecclesial camps and lunches. The young people are firm friends with older members, often enjoying a chat and a laugh after meeting. The older (and older-younger) members

of West Ryde are very passionate about our ecclesia. The young people have benefited from their wisdom and mentorship, as well as their willingness to try our new ideas. We often enjoy a sing-a-long around the piano, with many musically talented members joining in on their assorted trumpets, flutes, clarinets, saxes, guitars and harp! At West Ryde’s Sunday School, the boys

are outnumbered! We enjoy a discussion-based format every Sunday morning. Topics

range from ‘risk-taking’ to our thoughts about the previous night’s SCYP class. We love having visitors to our classes; activities and meetings, so come along to 4 Maxim St, West Ryde. We’d love to see you there!

Jenni Norwood

Ecclesial Profile...West Ryde

There’s rarely a spare moment at West Ryde!

The young people are firm friends with older members, often enjoying a chat and a laugh after meeting.

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Heard it on the...

ReviewsIn a dating relationship what’s the best thing you can do with your lips? Well, this book won’t tell you that the answer is kissing. Some of us have probably heard of the popular book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, in which Josh Harris offers insight into living with purposeful singleness, waiting on romance and using our energy as singles to serve God. Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello To Courtship

follows on with a close look at dating with a purpose, about

biblical and God-centred relationships, and practical principles to guide our conduct in a pre-marriage relationship. This is an honest book; in his writing Josh Harris tells of his own experience of giving up the meaningless and shallow dating game, and pursuing a courtship focused on communication, friendship, fellowship and romance guided by wisdom. Call it what you like. Different terms like ‘courtship’ and ‘dating’ are not what matters. What does is that instead of empty relationships fi lled with selfi shness, lust and rocky foundations, a healthy relationship involves developing a

strong friendship whilst exploring the possibility of marriage. Are we compatible? Not just, do we kiss well…but do we both love God and His plan more as a result of our relationship? Do we serve each other with a Christ-like love? You’ll love the stories and anecdotes that Josh Harris gives in this easy to read book, and each illustrate his no-nonsense principles. They’re challenging…but that’s what we need. Candid and direct thought into what comes between “How do you do?” and “I do”. Whether you are just starting to get to know someone or even if you’re engaged, this book asks us to question our actions and motives in a relationship. And the best guide we have is God’s word. “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Cor 10:31).Myself? I found that this book introduces tough issues and principles that we rarely discuss or acknowledge. In a world full of loose morals and values, I welcomed the straightforward way with which Josh Harris invites us to rethink our personal relationships and to enjoy the time before marriage in deepening friendship, fellowship and romance. This is a challenging but truly worthwhile read. Read with a thoughtful and open mind. Glean your own understanding of what a purposeful relationship involves. Let your romance be guided by wisdom. Continue to grow in friendship. And say hello to courtship!

Charlotte Burgess

Singer/song-writer Shawn McDonald has seen most things life has to offer. Abandoned by his parents at a relatively early age, he soon became involved in both the dealing and taking of drugs. He found his faith and love for God when reading the Bible for himself while in search of something more substantial than the life he was living. The album title Simply Nothing alludes to 1 Cor 13:2, “I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains – but if I have not love, I am nothing.” (TEV). Shawn came to realise that even with the most desirable things, a life without a love for God is simply nothing. The music, described as having cool coffeehouse acoustics, soulful singing, and unique orchestral coloring, aims to recreate a passion and love for God, our Father,

and Jesus, His son and our saviour. Those who attended August camp may be familiar with two of his songs played as meditations: ‘All I Need’ focused on the immeasurable and unconditional love of God, and also ‘Beautiful’ that reminds us of the immensely deep and personal relationship that can be formed with our Heavenly Father. Visit www.shawnmcdonaldmusic.com for more info.

James Hillhouse

Boy meets girl: say hello to courtship

Simply Nothing: Shawn McDonald

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Heard it on the...Grapevine

Births

WeddingsEngagementsAngela Bowe and Luke Crawford Alison Stewert and Ben Creighton

Syenna Tekoa Thomas (Jason and Jess)

BaptismsJess Collins

This year at Easter Camp we decided that the idea of fellowship was so important that we would make it the theme of the camp. The idea of Fellow - SHIP is a key element in the camp. We are all in this boat together with Christ as our captain. We will be learning about how to be more like Christ in the way we treat each other. We will be talking about how to keep all the sailors together so we don’t lose any overboard.

We would really love you to come to this year’s SCYP Easter Camp called “Sailing with the Saviour”. Come and take time out to chat with friends and make some new ones.

For more details you can contact Cam & Jacqui Shaw on 9489 1060 or 0400 466 377

Easter Camp 2006!April 13-17

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“I am the true vine...”