Relationship Clinic Week Two Recap And Recovering From An Affair

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THE DOCTORS THE DOCTORS ARE IN! ARE IN! Drs. Kent & Drs. Kent & Diana Branch Diana Branch Relationship Relationship Clinic Clinic

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Week One - RecapWeek Two - Practical Tips to begin Recovery from an Affair

Transcript of Relationship Clinic Week Two Recap And Recovering From An Affair

Page 1: Relationship  Clinic  Week  Two    Recap And  Recovering From An  Affair

THE THE DOCTORS DOCTORS ARE IN!ARE IN!

Drs. Kent & Diana Drs. Kent & Diana BranchBranch

Relationship Relationship ClinicClinic

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RECAPRECAP

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Matthew 22:37-39Matthew 22:37-39

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.mind.

38 This is the first and great 38 This is the first and great commandment.commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

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THE FOUR THE FOUR C’SC’S

COMMITMENTCOMMITMENTCOMPATIBILITYCOMPATIBILITYCOMMUNICATIONCOMMUNICATIONCRISIS MANAGEMENTCRISIS MANAGEMENT

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THE FIVE LOVE THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGESLANGUAGES

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Words of AffirmationWords of Affirmation Quality TimeQuality Time Receiving GiftsReceiving Gifts Acts of ServiceActs of Service Physical TouchPhysical Touch

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CRISIS CRISIS MANAGEMENTMANAGEMENT

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RECOVERING FROM RECOVERING FROM AN AFFAIRAN AFFAIR

Heb 13:4 KJVHeb 13:4 KJV

Marriage is honourable in Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: all, and the bed undefiled:

but whoremongers and but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.adulterers God will judge.

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Recovering from Recovering from an Affairan Affair

Tips for the Tips for the INJURED INJURED PARTNERPARTNER

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SAY IT…SAY IT…Express how the affair Express how the affair has affected you. Let has affected you. Let your spouse know your spouse know exactly how you feel exactly how you feel about their infidelity. about their infidelity.

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FEEL IT…FEEL IT…Don’t try to stuff down your Don’t try to stuff down your feelings. Allow yourself to feelings. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Don’t feel what you feel. Don’t try to deny the pain, and try to deny the pain, and don’t try to hide your pain don’t try to hide your pain from your spouse.from your spouse.

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PAY ATTENTION…PAY ATTENTION…A truly repentant spouse will do A truly repentant spouse will do whatever it takes to restore your whatever it takes to restore your trust. You need to see changes in trust. You need to see changes in your spouses behavior that your spouses behavior that reflect that they are indeed reflect that they are indeed making strides toward open and making strides toward open and honest communication, and that honest communication, and that there are changes in previously there are changes in previously deceptive behavior. deceptive behavior.

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OFFER FORGIVENESSOFFER FORGIVENESS

If your spouse has asked for If your spouse has asked for forgiveness, you must forgive as forgiveness, you must forgive as God for Christ sake has forgiven God for Christ sake has forgiven you. This doesn’t mean that all is you. This doesn’t mean that all is well…it means that you are well…it means that you are willing to forgive (pardon or willing to forgive (pardon or release). Even in cases where release). Even in cases where the injured partner decides to the injured partner decides to divorce, forgiveness will be divorce, forgiveness will be critical to their own healing.critical to their own healing.

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RELEASE IT…RELEASE IT…Ultimately…you must let go Ultimately…you must let go of the anger and the pain so of the anger and the pain so you can move forward. Focus you can move forward. Focus on the positive changes you on the positive changes you are seeing and on the are seeing and on the marriage that you WANT TO marriage that you WANT TO HAVE in the future.HAVE in the future.

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REFLECT ON REFLECT ON IT…IT…

Begin the painful process of Begin the painful process of accepting your part in the accepting your part in the disintegration of your disintegration of your marriage. More likely than not, marriage. More likely than not, your marriage was in trouble your marriage was in trouble BEFORE THE AFFAIR. What was BEFORE THE AFFAIR. What was your role? How can YOU be a your role? How can YOU be a better spouse going forward?better spouse going forward?

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REBUILD IT….REBUILD IT….

Be willing to work on Be willing to work on yourself and your yourself and your marriage. Remember…marriage. Remember…TALK, TALK, TALK and TALK, TALK, TALK and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY and SEEK HELP!SEEK HELP!

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RECOVERING FROM AN RECOVERING FROM AN AFFAIRAFFAIR

Tips for the Tips for the UNFAITHFUL UNFAITHFUL

PARTNERPARTNER

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REPENT AND SEEK REPENT AND SEEK

FORGIVENESSFORGIVENESS You must repent You must repent (experience godly sorrow (experience godly sorrow that produces a turning that produces a turning away from the sin). You away from the sin). You should seek forgiveness should seek forgiveness from both God and your from both God and your spouse.spouse.

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END IT…END IT…Before ANY recovery can Before ANY recovery can take place there must take place there must first be an ENDING to first be an ENDING to the affair. ALL CONTACT the affair. ALL CONTACT WITH THE OTHER PARTY WITH THE OTHER PARTY MUST CEASE!MUST CEASE!

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DEAL WITH IT…DEAL WITH IT…

ACCEPT your ACCEPT your responsibility for responsibility for your own actions; your own actions;

accept your accept your partner’s reaction to partner’s reaction to

your infidelityyour infidelity

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OWN IT…OWN IT…Confess to your spouse Confess to your spouse

what you recognize about what you recognize about your own actions. your own actions. Acknowledge it by Acknowledge it by

saying…”I was…SELFISH, saying…”I was…SELFISH, FOOLISH, INCONSIDERATE, FOOLISH, INCONSIDERATE,

STUPID, ETCSTUPID, ETC

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COME CLEAN…COME CLEAN…You have to be willing You have to be willing to answer the hard to answer the hard questions about the questions about the affair…NO MORE affair…NO MORE SECRETSSECRETS

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SHARE IT…SHARE IT…Share your reasons for the affair. Share your reasons for the affair. Be sure that you do not appear to Be sure that you do not appear to be making excuses for your be making excuses for your infidelity. There is NO EXCUSE for infidelity. There is NO EXCUSE for breaking of your SACRED VOWS. breaking of your SACRED VOWS. However, there may be However, there may be legitimate REASONS why you legitimate REASONS why you were unhappy or unfulfilled in were unhappy or unfulfilled in your marriage.your marriage.

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REBUILD IT…REBUILD IT…Begin the process of Begin the process of

rebuilding your rebuilding your spouse’s trust. This spouse’s trust. This will involve lots of will involve lots of

PRAYER, lots of PRAYER, lots of TRANSPARENT TRANSPARENT TALKING and TALKING and

COUNSELING…COUNSELING…

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BELIEVE IT…BELIEVE IT…Both the unfaithful and injured Both the unfaithful and injured spouses must believe that God spouses must believe that God is able to restore their is able to restore their marriage…IN FACT…God can marriage…IN FACT…God can make the marriage BETTER if make the marriage BETTER if both of you put your trust in both of you put your trust in him, and love one another him, and love one another unconditionally!unconditionally!