Relational Aggression

GIRL-ON-GIRL AGGRESSION

Girls and boys can both be mean but girls internalize it more and ruminate on it

Girls are mean to each other for trivial reasons The effects can be long lasting into adulthoodGirls are good at hiding their aggressive behavior

they know which teachers are tuned inRelational aggression can include cyber bullyingIt is our responsibility to maintain a safe

environmentRelational aggression is COVERT and is everywhere

ODDS AND ENDS

Relational aggression, also known as covert aggression, or covert bullying is a type of aggression in which harm is caused through damage to one’s relationships or social status.

(Wikipedia, 2012)

RELATIONAL AGGRESSION DEFINITION

Relationship Manipulation Subtle and behind one’s back

Social Exclusion Being left out

Reputation Attacking Spreading rumors – especially on-line

Using Demeaning Gestures Rolling eyes and dirty looks

(Fraser-Thill, 2012)

TYPES OF RELATIONAL AGGRESSION

Painful hurt feelingsLow self-esteemUnable to focusLack of motivationIsolationAngerRetribution and revengeSelf injuryPoor academicsTime out of class in guidance or offi ce

EFFECTS

Cultural Causes of BullyingViolence is acceptable (WWF)

Institutional CausesPlace doesn’t have high standards for anti-bullying

Social IssuesRecognition for negative behaviors

Family IssuesDiscipline at home is inconsistent or over the top

The Bully's Personal HistoryPast experience of social rejection or academic failure

Having PowerWant to wield it and show off the power

Provocative Victims

UNDERLYING REASONS ("WHY DO PEOPLE," 2009)

Change in friendsDrop in gradesSad lookLate to classLast one to leave classPreoccupiedChange in appearanceLong sleeves in hot weather (cutting)Weight lossAbsenteeism

SIGNS TO WATCH FOR

Dr. Erin Willer

Dr. Erin Willer In her seminar Helping Girls Cope and Communicate About Social Aggression Dr. Willer presents a three step exercise

Dr. Willer is an assistant professor at the University of Denver

Former high school English and speech teacherResearch focuses on how females manage

social aggression(Willer, 2009)

POSSIBLE RESOLUTIONS

Ask student to recall an incidence of meanness

Give them the opportunity to talk or write about it

Instead of “ruminating” or gut churning about it this gives language to thoughts and emotions

Reflection helps to make sense out of life’s events

STEP ONE – REFLECT ON MEANNESS

Draw a metaphor for the meannessThis puts the focus on the problem and

not the personAn example of a metaphor for love

might be a warm blanketAn example of a metaphor for kindness

might be a cat licking her kittenAn example of meanness might be a

cat scratching the couch when the couch didn’t do anything to the cat

STEP TWO – CREATE METAPHORS

Have the student draw a redemption metaphorFocus on the good that can come out of itNormal to feel bad when girls are mean but try

to find the goodAn example might be moving to a new town is

hard but a new home with a big bedroom would be great

A student example was a drawing of two peas in a pod

Engaging in telling the story and drawing metaphors helps students make sense of the situation

STEP THREE – POSITIVE METAPHOR

This three step process is but one possible course of action

Communication and a sense of connection to others can go a long way in tamping down RA

Be aware that RA is happening in our school, but to see it you have to look for it

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

The Ophelia Project http://www.opheliaproject.org/main/ra_faq.htm

Do Somethinghttp://www.dosomething.org

Why are those girls so mean? http://www.greatschools.org/parenting/bullying/596-why-are- those-girls-so-mean.gs

Inside The School http://www.insidetheschool.com/

A Way Through http://www.awaythrough.com/educators.htm

ON-LINE RESOURCES

Relational Aggression in Girls by Jamie Kupkovits

Mean Girls: 101 1/2 Creative Strategies for Working With Relational Aggression by Kaye Randall, LISW-CP & Allyson A. Bowen, LISW-CP and Susan Bowman

‘’Odd Girl Out’’ by R. Simmons

’Queen Bees and Wannabes’’ by R. Wiseman

SUGGESTED READING

DeBruyn, R. L., & Larson, J. L. (2009). You can handle them all .

(2nd ed.). Manhattan, Ka: The Master Teacher.

Fraser-Thill, R. (2012). Social aggression forms of social

aggression . Retrieved fromhttp://tweenparenting.about.com/od/

behaviordiscipline/a/Social-Aggression.htm

Why do people bully? . (2009). Retrieved from

http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/why-do-people-bully.ht

ml

Wikipedia. (2012, August 05). Relational aggression . Retrieved

from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relational_aggression

Willer, E. (2009, October 26). How to help students cope with

girl on girl aggression . Retrieved from

http://www.insidetheschool.com/free-reports/how-to-help-

students-cope-with-girl-on-girl-aggression

 (hanging indent intended)

REFERENCES