Emotional Intelligence for Professional Success

Morning Agenda

• Resilience You all have it in you – preventative medicine

• Toolbox Project video Toolbox• Self awareness – exercise

Afternoon Agenda

• Outside in • Communication• Conflict fluency• Decision making• Change• Leadership President Lincoln Pulling it

all together • Individual development Plan

Johari Window

J. Luft, Group Processes: An introduction to Group Dynamics, (Palo Alto, CA: Mayfield, 1970).

What is emotional intelligence?

Building blocks of behavior

Thoughts

BehaviorsEmotions

Motere (Latin)

“to move”

root work for emotion and motivation

121 Fortune 500 Companies – Competency Models

Abilities Distinguishing Star Performers at Work (Goleman, 1994)

Emotional Intelligence, EI, EQ

Self Mastery and RESILIENCE…

Toolbox Project video Toolbox

Einstein

“We should take care not to make the intellect our god. It has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve.”

Misperception of Success

Irrational Thought Patterns

• We all have them…ChildhoodOur general US cultureOur workplace culture

Another interpretation

It is a test. Relief

Reptile Brain: Error patterns

Sacrifices accuracy for speed

Can’t tell the difference between rattlesnakes and shame

Our Three Brains

Amygdala – reptile brain (emotion)

Cortex (logic center)

Pre-frontal cortex (integrates logic and emotion into judgment

Flipping Our Lids

• Dr Siegel Hand Model of the Brain

• Reflection• Relationships • Resilience

Interpretation

Event • Fire Alarm

Interpretation• Fire!

Danger!

Feeling • Fear

Behavior

Automatic Process

Event• Fire

Alarm

Feeling • Fear

Behavior

• Run

Expert Opinion“I view emotions as organizing processes that enable individuals to think and behave adaptively. This perspective can be contrasted with a more traditional one that sees affect as a disorganized interruption of mental activity that must be minimized and controlled.”

Peter Salovey,Ph.D., Chair of Psychology, Yale University

Major Emotional Intelligence Researcher and Theorist

Our Culture Worships Intellect

DesCartes: “I think; therefore I am.”

Stoics

Today’s schools

Today’s employers

Emotional Intelligence is a collection of skills

• Self reflection• Productive focus on relationships?• Resilience when things do go the way

you want or intended• EI = Logic and Emotions

Because it CAN be learned

• Our EI can grow at any age• Learning EI starts early• Neuroplasticity of the brain?• SCARF?

Example of Emotional Intelligence

• Aristotle: “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person , to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy.”

1. Break into SCARF groups based on the biggest concern identified in your assessment

2. Describe/characterize your domain- What are your concerns or triggers?

3. Large group debrief

4. In domain groups discuss: How you reduce your own sense of threat or increase your sense of reward related to this domain

5. Debrief

Fairness study

• Fairness study

• Feeling free from bias, dishonesty, and injustice

• An individual’s sense of fairness is linked to personal values

We need both

IQ EQ

EQ-i® 2.0 competencies

Total EQ

Self-Perception

Self-Regard

Self-Actualization

Emotional Self-Awareness

Self-Expression

Emotional Expression

Assertiveness

Independence

Interpersonal

Interpersonal Relationships

Empathy

Social Responsibility

Decision Making

Problem Solving

Reality Testing

Stress Management

Flexibility

Stress Tolerance

OptimismImpulse Control

rosieFirst, Understand Habits

• Habits are hard to break• Thought patterns can be changed• Paying attention to things can rewire

habits• Focus on what’s right, not what’s wrong• Work at regulating your thinking

EI and Change

• VUCA World• Volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous

• Requires VUCA leadership

• Lack of certainty = loss of control > impacts status, fairness and relationships

Emotions and Change

VISION

Rosie in the face of change

• Safety first• Create new connections• Embed with attention density

Well-Being

• Self-Regard• Optimism• Interpersonal Relationships• Self-Actualization

Another way to look at Well-Being

love

work

play

Rich and full life

“Richest and fullest lives attempt to achieve balance between three realms: work, love, play.”

Erik EriksonDevelopmental Psychologist

Hippocampus

Prefrontal Cortex

Amygdala

Hippocampus

Prefrontal Cortex

Amygdala

SCARF

A way to understand social brain stimuli and the responses that are triggered

Your brain is…

• Like a river

EI and Leadership• Daniel Goleman (1998) pioneered the idea

that “the ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions, and drives, as well as their effect on others,” was a hallmark of effective leaders.

• High levels of self-awareness, long acknowledged as contributing to individual effectiveness and good leadership, also correlate with corporate performance.

Korn/Ferry Institute 2013 A Better return on Self Awareness

Emotional Intelligence and Leadership

• Emotions are contagious• De-railers

– Impulse Control– Stress Tolerance– Problem Solving– Independence

Mood contagion & Optimism

• So given, that our neurons are at work and we are reacting to the people that we work with in many ways.

• There’s a word for that and it’s mood contagion.

• Joyce Bono was faculty at CSOM here at the University and is now at the U of Florida. She studied mood contagion. She looked at the sharing of positive emotions in the work setting.

• What do we do to build a positive mood contagion?

• Positive connections increase the secretion of oxytocin in the brain• We have choices:

– How do I build a positive mood for myself? How do I reinforce this?– How do I choose those I interact with? Are they positive? How do they contribute to

my mood?

Emotions are contagious

rosiePractice ideas• Practice giving yourself six seconds• Focus on the positive• Consider play; think of problems as

challenges• Study what works for you – modes of

learning• Make connections with positive others• Celebrate accomplishments• Practice choice -- choose what you pay

attention to and opt for positive reactions; this is regulation

Values

• What interests you about emotional intelligence?

Assess the emotional intelligence of Lincoln

Doris Kearns Goodwin: What we can learn from past presidents

Individual Development Plan

• What do you want to start?• What do you want to stop?• What do you want to continue doing?

Resilience

• Resiliency is the ability to find the inner strength to grow through a set-back, challenge, or opportunity. Resiliency is not about bouncing back from a situation. It is about growing through it. Resiliency is not about pain. It is about possibility.

Be Resilient: by Eileen Mc???????

We can choose our response

• What is the situation?• What am I focusing on? What am I not

going to put attention on?• How do I feel and think about this?• How am I going to consciously

respond?

rosieSelf Care

• It’s about energy • Work at building resilience; have it

ready when you have challenges• Exercise, yoga or meditation• Stop ruminating – this builds negative

wiring. Schedule a time each day for it and get over it

Rosie more self care

• Think about challenging situations• What can you start doing, stop doing or

continue doing that will help the situation and other similar situations

• Practice your one thing• Give yourself a reward for following

through

“When will we make the same breakthroughs

in the way we relate to each other,

as we have made in technology?”

Theodore Zeldin, Philosopher

Evaluation

• What was most helpful today?

or • Share one of your insights or aha’s

• CCE evaluation