8/14/2019 Reasons Singles Experience Delay

1/4

Reasons singles experience delay

Yemi despite the fact that she was comfortable financially and appear to have no need inher life, often cry when the feeling of not been married at the age of 35 turns up. She had

attended friends and relative marriages and the question that she is asked in some of this

event is when will she be married? People keep praying for her that her time will come;however, the feeling of loneliness is quite depressing for her.

Here is an excerpt from my book, marital delay; reasons, effects and the way out-There are questions that run through my mind as regards who is to blame for the wrong

happenings in the lives of people. One of the reasons for asking these questions stems

from observing singles that have reached marriageable age, but are not married.

I have tried to know whether it is true that the reason many singles do not marry early

enough is caused solely by external factors such as the devil and the activities of his

kingdom. But alas l have come to the conclusion that whatever happens to a man is

directly or indirectly the product of his choices.

The Lord placed in my heart these words while I was ruminating on the issue, The

world is like the sea, our lives like a ship, God is only our INSTRUCTOR, Wherever

the ship berths is our choice, so be RESPONSIBLE . Until you know that you are

responsible for where you are, you will keep blaming others for where you are, and this

always results in stagnation.

Being single at a late age is majorly the contribution of the individual involved. Man

holds God responsible for everything that happens to him; he calls it destiny/fate.However, his everyday choices chart the course of his future. Here are some of the

reasons that people experience delay in the area of marriage-

The fear factor- Brian Tracy the reputable contemporary management philosopher sees

fear as, Fantasized Experience Appearing Real. That is to say that fear is nothing.

Fear is a myth. It is a fathom of the mind. John Milton says of the mind, It (mind) in its

place and in itself can make a heaven of hell, or a hell of heaven . Fear is indeed a

smoke that holds no substance in itself, yet it chokes. And when its victim yields to it, it

assumes the character of the Arabian Jinni a smoke that grows and crystallizes into a

monster and consumes the afraid.

Some singles are afraid because of the negative experiences they have seen- that of their

parents, relatives, etc. Due to this, they open up to fear that affects their decision to settledown in marriage.

8/14/2019 Reasons Singles Experience Delay

2/4

Stigma in the family- In the African traditional belief, family background plays a lot of

role in determining whether other families would accept a child as a likely suitor for their

child. Singles, who come from families with a stigma- history of insanity, leprosy, etc,may experience delay in getting married. The family of the person they are interested in

will do an investigation on his/her family and will frown against the relationship, because

of the sigma in that family.

The reason for the stigmatization of these families is due to the belief that, the person

who has this stigma in their lineage will pass it on to his or her child.

Wrong perception of the marriage institution- The way a person perceives a thing,

determines whether that thing will be desirable or not. Many singles do not desire to getmarried because they perceive marriage as...

A trap- Some singles dread the feeling of losing their freedom; they perceive

marriage as an entrapment, and therefore do not make a commitment leading to

marriage in any relationship they get involve in.

An opportunity to get a good source of living- Some singles believe that themarriage institution is a place where their needs (security, upkeep, etc.) can be met.

They therefore prefer to be involve with a wealthy or comfortable partner, and as long

as the person that suit their standard have not come their way, they avoid making a

commitment leading to marriage in any relationship they get involve in.

An unnecessary event- Some singles do not see the need to get married; to them it is

not an essential part of their life and they believe that they can do without it.

Unforgiveness- Singles, who have been hurt and have experienced a broken relationship,

often carry in their hearts unforgiveness towards the person that they were formerlydating. I define unforgiveness as, unforgotten information on pains of the past.

Covenant- The Oxford Advance Learners Dictionary Of Current English (Revised and

Updated), define covenant as, A formal agreement that is legally binding. It is a

formal agreement between two or more people or parties. Usually, the people in

question have definite terms, condition or reason for the covenant.

Some singles are encountering delay in the area of marriage because of the covenant that

they have entered into, with or without their knowledge.

Here are some covenants that people usually enter into...

Word covenant- Some singles in the past have made one promise or the other to getmarried to a person of the opposite sex, for one reason or the other, e.g. favour for

certain promotion, financial benefit, etc. They have no intention of fulfilling this

promise because all they want is what they can get from the person; however, they

have forgotten that a man is ensnared by the words of his mouth and by the words

8/14/2019 Reasons Singles Experience Delay

3/4

of a mans mouth he shall be justified or condemned.Their words become a trap

that hinders some of this singles from getting married at an earlier age.

Sex covenant- Sexual intimacy does not only fuse the bodies of the people involved

together; it also fuses the spirits of the individuals involved. Just as people contact the

HIV virus from sexual intimacy with an infected person, so also if a single is involvedsexually with someone that has a curse of delay in his or her life, he or she may end

up with the curse.

Curses - The Open Bible, and the New American Standard Bible state that, A curse is aviolent expression of evil upon others. The Oxford Learners Advanced Dictionary Of

Current English by A. S. Hornby (1991 Edition) defined a curse as A word, phrase

sentence calling for the punishment, injury, or destruction of something or

someone.

Evangelist C.Y Oyor wrote,

2

Many people, families, communities, villages, and evennations are under one form of curse or the other. Curses do not only hinder theblessings of God from coming, they also make the people under them miserable.

I have observed certain curses that affect singles...

Parental curses- Some singles are under a curse that caused them to experience delayin settling down in marriage, because they did not honour their parent(s). The light of

anyone that dishonours his/her parent for any reason (even if the parent(s) is/her

wrong) is turned into obscure darkness. When such happens, the person becomesundesirable in the eyes of people. In the way of the Lord, respect is not reciprocal,

respect is given.

Curses due to pride- I have observed that singles who think of themselves morehighly than they ought operate under a curse that compels marital delay. For instance,

if a man asks a ladys hand in marriage and she respond in disdain, uttering words

that bruise the mans ego, it can bring her under a curse. If you are observant, you willnotice that single ladies who have attained success at an early stage of their lives are

the most affected.

Curses as a result of breaking another persons marriage- Some singles are

walking under the curse of marital delay because they supported the dissolution of

another persons marriage. The only basis for divorce in the Scriptures is when either

of the parties involved is living an adulterous lifestyle; though the Scriptures giveroom for the guilty party to be forgiven. Any other reason outside of this will bring

both the parties involved, and anyone that support the dissolution of the marriage

under a curse. One of the effects can be late marriage, and the other is that themarriage of the person walking under this curse will not last. The Scriptures warns

that, ...What therefore the Lord has joined together, let not man put

asunder(Matthew 19:6).

8/14/2019 Reasons Singles Experience Delay

4/4

Do you have a question on any relationship issue? Send a text and get a response;

your confidentiality will be kept.

Olufemi Fasanya

08037257479, 08083906495

www.relationship-singles.blogspot.com