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Transcript of Raising Kids that Cope Building an optimistic mindset in children Session 1 Cay Camden Gordon West...
![Page 1: Raising Kids that Cope Building an optimistic mindset in children Session 1 Cay Camden Gordon West Public School.](https://reader036.fdocuments.in/reader036/viewer/2022070409/56649e9d5503460f94b9ef86/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
Raising Kids that CopeBuilding an optimistic mindset in childrenSession 1Cay CamdenGordon West Public School
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Tonight’s talk
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• What is Resilience?
• What does it look like to us?
• Why is it important
• Some ways of thinking…
• The resilience doughnut model
• Stages of moral reasoning
• Building resilience nuts and bolts
• In summary
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About me!
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Our world
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• Our children are the ‘click n go’ generation (post 1984)
• Shorter attention spans
• More agitated
• More anxiety/depression
• Greater reliance on external sources of stimulation & happiness
• Expect immediate outcomes
• Fewer role models
• Question authority
• Want to succeed but not put in the hard yards
• Will live at home longer and save their money (yes, that’s mine)
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What is resilience?
“Resilience is the happy knack of bungy jumping through the pitfalls of life”
(Andrew Fuller, 1998)
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“Resilience is the universal capacity which allows a person, group or community to prevent, minimize or overcome the damaging effects of adversity” (Edith Grotberg, 1995)
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“Resilience is the capacity of
individuals to navigate their physical
and social ecologies, to provide
resources, as well as their access to
families and communities who can
culturally navigate for them” (Michael Ungar, 2008)
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Resilience is NOT
• A genetic predisposition to thriving
• A personality trait
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What does it look like to US?
A movement away from…
‘just trying to cope’ with problems to…….
building strengths that protect and promote well-being’
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Why is it important?
• Make the most of their potential
• Extend themselves
• Fears & worries acknowledged
• Builds social and emotional capacities
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Some ways of thinking
“It is thinking style that determines resilience
more than genetics, more than intelligence,
more than any other single factor” (Seligman et al: 1995 The Penn Project)
• Optimistic thinking V Pessimistic thinking
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It is global and everything is bad.
It is permanent and unable to be changed.
It is because of me and everything goes wrong for
me.
It is temporary, so it won’t last long.
There is a specific reason for it, so it can’t be
repeated.
It is because of other factors, and nothing I do
makes a difference.
Pessimistic ThinkingWhen bad
things happenWhen good things
happen
Copyright Lyn Worsley www.theresiliencedoughnut.com.au
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It is specific, so I can learn from this.
It is temporary, so it will get better.
It is because of other factors, so I can keep trying to make a
difference.
It is permanent and therefore I can depend on
it.
It is global, so it indicates everything is going well.
It is because of me,so I will continue to make a difference.
Optimistic ThinkingWhen bad
things happenWhen good things
happen
Copyright Lyn Worsley www.theresiliencedoughnut.com.au
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Half glass FULL!
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• the optimist sees the glass as half full • the pessimist sees it as half empty.
• the engineer sees a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be
• the surrealist sees a giraffe eating a necktie
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THE RESILIENCE DOUGHNUT
Copyright Lyn Worsley www.theresiliencedoughnut.com.au
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Finding our key strengths
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Why 3?
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“If something is not working,
do something different.
If something is working,
do it again!”
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Strength focussed questions
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Some things children need
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• Adult role models• Explicit behaviour• Positive reinforcement• Us to actually listen, cause our lives are soooo busy!
• Keep promises• Reduce choices• But, choose your battles (it’s hard to win!) • Keep it simple and positive• Responsibility and consequences, remembering their brain is
remodelling fast• Say it once and move on• Prepare for challenging situations yourself• Talk to other parents
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Stages of Moral Development
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Ppr reasoning:
Stages 1 and 2
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Conventional moral reasoning:Stages 3 and 4
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Post-conventional
moral reasoning:
Stages 5 and 6
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Research
• Self- discipline
• Self control
Improves and increases creativity and learning capacities
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To build your child’s self control
• Show interest by time• Walk side by side with boys• Eye contact with girls• Teach ‘gut feeling’, inner moral compass• Promote problem solving• Model
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So …
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In Summary
• Communicate • Positive encouragement • Do it again or• Try a new way!• Model behaviour• Small practice steps • Listen and acknowledge • Try not to rescue• Problem solving