Quality time – Personal growth · Monthly Newsletter January 2013 Quality time – Personal...

Quality time – Personal growth

Afraid to fail? Join the crowd!

Turn your kids on to personal development

Finding your passion in life

e-Thoughts — My personal growth plan

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Few people succeed all the time on their first try. In fact, some of the most famous achievers in our history have failed — often more than once — only to come back stronger and more determined than before. More...

January 2013 Newsletter

The phrase “personal development” may sound too adult for many kids, but the idea behind it isn’t. More…

Do you have an interest or love that drives your life? Are there hobbies or activities — at work, home or in other settings — that excite you no matter how often or how long you do them? These are your passions. More...

What can you do for your own Personal Growth Plan?More...

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Afraid to fail? Join the crowd!

In today’s world, we often celebrate people who seem to skyrocket to success. But what about those people who try, fail and keep right on trying? In a sense, they are the real success stories because of their ability to bounce back.

You won’t believe these successful failures!Few people succeed all the time on their first try. In fact, some of the most famous achievers in our history have failed — often more than once — only to come back stronger and more determined than before. They include:• Thomas Edison, inventor — who was once told he was too

stupid to stay in school. He went on to invent the light bulb (not too shabby for a stupid guy)!

• Michael Jordan, basketball star — who was cut from his high school basketball team. Today, he’s regarded as one of the best basketball players of all time.

• Oprah Winfrey, TV host — who was told she was unfit for television. After 25 years of hosting her own show, she is among the country’s most successful women.

The real failure in failingReferring to his many attempts to invent the light bulb, Thomas Edison once said: “I have never failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”1 What’s behind this quote? The belief that every failure brings you a step closer to success.

In other words: The only true failure is not realizing what you’ve just learned. Each time you try something and don’t succeed, you have a new lesson to apply to your next attempt.

Most success stories have a long list of failed attempts behind them. In most cases, people who ultimately succeed aren’t broken by their failures; they’re motivated by them.

Some important tips about succeedingHere are some tips to help you build resilience and get through the tough times:• Train yourself to think positively. Be more aware of the

messages you give yourself. Be your own best fan — not your worst critic.

• Don’t fear failure. It’s just feedback. If you see failure as something you must avoid at all costs, chances are you’ll lose out on lots of learning.

• Don’t take failure personally. Failing is not a personal character flaw. It’s a result of an action or decision.

• Try again, but differently. Gather the information you received from your last attempt and use it to help shape your next try.

Always remember: If at first you don’t succeed, (you fill in the blank)!

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Turn your kids on to personal development

Sounds like a big word for kids, right? The phrase “personal development” may sound too adult for many kids, but the idea behind it isn’t.

Our kids, our futureThe future of our communities, families and our kids’ lives rests on their dreams, what kind of people they become and the paths they choose. Parents, teachers and other adults who come into contact with kids should all be aware that personal growth is critical for children.

How can you help your children grow?Children are bound to grow and change. The trick is to try to keep them on a track that is positive, constructive and rewarding for them.

There are several ways to help children aspire to greater and greater things. Here are just a few suggestions:• Tell them when they’ve done a great job. What better

motivation is there than praise? Praise lets kids know they’ve pleased you and done something good. That makes them want to repeat such behaviors so they’ll continue to get positive feedback.

Praise also helps build self-esteem and self-confidence — two of the most important foundations for personal growth.

Examples: Praise young children for picking up their toys, cooperating at bedtime or helping clear the table. Praise older children and teens for more complicated tasks, school successes and good decision-making.

• Reward your kids. Who doesn’t like a bonus for doing well? The key is to offer something that piques your kids’ interest and gives them incentive.

You might even ask them what reward they think is appropriate. Encourage an informal negotiation. This helps your children use their thinking skills.

Example: For little kids, offer a trip to the ice cream store, library or playground when their rooms are cleaned up or they’ve helped you put away laundry. Older children may need bigger rewards for more grown-up tasks. If they rake all the leaves, shovel the snow or do great on a test, you might consider giving them a free music download for their computer or cellphone, a trip to the movies or other appealing reward.

• You show the way. After all is said and done, what influences kids the most? What they see you and other important adults in their lives doing!

If you’re often stressed out, angry or frustrated, your children will see that behavior and copy it. If they see you being positive, looking for new things to do and learn and focusing your energies on solutions, they’re likely to do the same.

Give your children a gift that will last their whole lives: the right to have high hopes and the belief that they can work hard to make their dreams come true.



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Do you have an interest or love that drives your life? Are there hobbies or activities — at work, home or in other settings — that excite you no matter how often or how long you do them? These are your passions.

Can you have more than one passion?It seems only natural that we could easily be “multi-passionate.” With all the opportunities open to us, we’re likely to have more than one driving passion. We’re likely to have many.

How can you discover your passions?We all have them, but sometimes they’re hard to discover or name. Why? Because they probably started out as dreams and somewhere along the line, you got the message that your dreams weren’t attainable. To avoid disappointment, you may have put those dreams “away.”

But here are some steps to help uncover your hopes and dreams – and realize your passions.1

• Step 1: Ask yourself questions like these: — What makes you smile every time? — What could you do all day and never notice the time

slipping by? — What are you really good at? — What comes naturally to you?

When answers begin to pop into your head, write them down — no matter what they are. Banish any thoughts of “that’s not practical” or “you’ll never be able to do that.” Those may be some of the messages that made you bury your passions originally.

• Step 2: Picture one or more times when you felt really happy and alive. These may not be major life moments. They could be simple moments that brought you calm, pleasure or a feeling of success. Again, write down the scene you see: What are you doing? What’s around you? What are you feeling? Who’s with you? You’ll use all these notes as you put together the clues to your passions.

• Step 3: Pretend you’re a child again. When we’re kids, we know what we want. We want to play teacher, princess, astronaut or doctor. These are all important pieces of information. If you have trouble remembering your childhood favorites, ask a parent or relative who was there.

Next, think about what these play dreams represent. What passions are revealed in your earliest interests? Did you love adventure, communicating, dressing up, helping others or leading the way? Think about those instincts as your adult self. Are they still important? Are you finding ways to fulfill these desires?

Using these steps, you can probably identify at least one passion and maybe more. Now think about how you already incorporate this passion into your life — or how you might in the future. Passions can translate into our goals for personal growth and bring deep rewards and satisfaction.

1yourlifeyourway.net

Finding your passion in life



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I was thinking about my PGP (Personal Growth Plan) for 2013 and realized one goal was to put something back into my everyday life: reading.

I am a huge fan of computers, smartphones and other technologies. But you know what? I miss sitting down quietly, snuggled up in a corner of my couch with a book. Sure, it takes focus and concentration to read a book. In fact, I miss those too!

Technology has given us so many instant games, email and texting tools and search engines that work in seconds. It’s almost “difficult” to take or make the time to do something slowly, thoughtfully — and not at the speed of light.

So I’m going to slow down for an hour once a day and get back to my books. How about you? What can you do for your own PGP?

e-Thoughts - My personal growth plan

Our e-Thoughts feature provides close-up views on topics and areas of interest from everyday life.



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Monthly Newsletter January 2013

Quality time – Personal growth


Aetna Resources for LivingSM is the brand name used for products and services offered through the Aetna group of subsidiary companies. The EAP is administered by Aetna Behavioral Health, LLC, Aetna Health of California, Inc. and Health and Human Resources Center, Inc. This material is for informational purposes only. All calls are confidential, except as required by law (i.e., when a person’s emotional condition is a threat to himself/herself or others, or there is suspected child, spousal or elder abuse, or abuse to people with disabilities). Services are available to you and your household members, including dependent children up to age 26, whether they live at home or not.

Information is believed to be accurate as of the production date; however, it is subject to change. For more information about Aetna plans, refer to www.aetna.com.©2013 Aetna Inc.

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Quality time – Personal growth · Monthly Newsletter January 2013 Quality time – Personal...

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