SLRC QUARTER 2, MODULE 18

INTRODUCTION GUIDE

Getting What You Really Want In this module we will be learning about how to go deeper into getting what

you or your clients desire.

In our coaching system we don’t go looking for people’s problems, but rather

their desires. We find out what they really want and then how to integrate, heal

and resolve issues inside on the pathway to achieving those desires.

This is a healthy approach to healing and to life. It is healthy and empowering

in the long run as it avoids the trap of focusing on what’s not working, and

focuses instead on desires and high vibration emotions.

This type of healing and coaching is really effective, because it is motivating for

your client to have a higher vision of who they can be and how they can live

their life. And since it takes a long time to transform and to heal, focusing on

achieving desires will give the client a stronger motivation, as the willpower to

address pain is only that strong and will eventually fade.

Desires are also the key to self-realization. They are like pings and impulses from

within, and if you follow them you will, eventually, wake up from the inside.

Desires can of course be hollow and materialistic, but it is actually more

empowering to say yes to them.  Eventually, when a person achieves their

desire, they can find out if achieving it is really what they want and need, and so

the journey continues on to self-realization.  By achieving your desires, you

figure out who you really are and what you truly came here to do. It brings you

deeper into your essence and truth.

This is an inspiring way to approach self-development, life and what is inside of

you. On the contrary, when people try to talk themselves out of what they

desire, it shuts them down and creates sadness within and cramps aliveness.

I invite you to try this mindset and see if this is a truth that fits for you:

• What happens when you consciously pursue your desires?

• What happens when you make desire a form of directive where you head in

your life?

• What happens when you make pursuing your desires a conscious path of self-

development, inner and outer work, and where does that take you versus

saying that desires are hollow?

• What happens when you talk yourself out of desires?

Desire shows the way, and fuels the journey of self-development, the strength

to look within and ultimately self-realization!

So as a coach, sell them what they want and give them what they need!

Give them a deep, profound and integrated path where they learn to love and

accept themselves, to trust their impulses and sensations, and to come to

deeper and higher truths on their journey!

And as a coach, apart from sharing information with them, you serve them by

giving them accountability and long-term transformation, and by holding a

space for them to do the work.

Below are the three additional pieces in our coaching system to help a client

getting what they need:

Piece 1: Do they believe they can be successful?

If people don’t believe they can be successful they won’t take actions. That’s

why it’s very important to assess your client’s belief system.

You can ask them:

• On a scale from 1-10, 1 being that you couldn’t get this at all and 10 being

absolutely certain that you could, where are you?

If your client is a seven or less, you want to address their ability to be successful

before moving on. In sex, love and relationship coaching this is often about

giving them a new mindset.

For example they will say:

• I don’t believe I can have an orgasm.

• I don’t believe I can have an erection.

• I don’t believe I can date and feel confident at the same time.

This is where you want to work on empowering a client’s understanding. It

means taking them out of their mindset that something is fundamentally

broken or wrong with them into that which makes it possible for them to be

successful.

In the case of the woman who doesn’t experience orgasms, it means giving her

a new empowering narrative that makes her feel she can be successful. For

example, you can educate her that in science right now, the belief is that every

woman is biologically capable of having an orgasm but there is so much that

comes in and blocks the brain’s ability to surrender to the state of orgasm.

Or, for a man that believes he can’t be in a long term relationship and be

happy, but he really desires it, educate him with all your knowledge about how

a relationship can bring you deeper into self-development and how

magnificent the sense of love and connection with someone after can feel after

15 years together.

Your level of information and knowledge on these subjects are really important

because you can use it to educate and inspire your clients to a new mindset.

Another way to help your clients believe in success is to use Positive Psychology,

by Martin Seligman. The core understanding from this theory is to get people to

believe in their success based their previous successes.

Ask them to look at their past behaviour and see how they might have the

components to actually cause them to be successful. You can also help them

focus on something they thought was impossible at first that they later

achieved by taking action steps. Reflect back to them their previous

investments and commitments, and use that to empower them.

Piece 2: Worthiness or deservingness

Usually when it comes to achieving desires, there is something inside that says

that they are not worthy or deserving of it, or not powerful enough, or it’s not a

fit to the identity.

So working on feeling worthy and deserving is very important, and we will go

deeper into this in this week’s lasering tool.

Piece 3: Going over their obstacles

Gabriele Oettingen explains in her book, Rethinking Positive Thinking, that

people get the best possible outcomes when they combine positive thinking

and visualization with an honest assessment of the obstacles that might come

in the way of getting what they want.

People who only focus on the positive might calm their nervous system but not

take action.

People who only focuses on the obstacles, get unmotivated and don’t take

action.

So it is the combination of the two, positive visualization and obstacle

assessment that creates the best results, if a person believes that they could be

successful.

To get your clients to believe they can be successful:

• Use the five senses reality to help them with positive visualisation

• Address the belief of their success in themselves

• Assess the obstacles

This helps with motivation and with creating directive action steps.