Q. Learning Empathy Webinar
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Transcript of Q. Learning Empathy Webinar
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UIDE Empathy
FACILITATOR
Tim Stone
Emotional Intelligence:
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UIDE To know that Empathy and Sympathy are different
To internalise the essential attributes of Empathy
To apply empathetic characteristics and habits
EmpathyLearning Outcomes
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“Always put yourself in the other guy’s shoes, Henderson.If you’re quick you can run off with them.”
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Empathy…
‘It means very little to know that a million Chinese are starving,unless you know one Chinese who is starving.’ John Steinbeck, preface to The Forgotten Village, 1941
is understanding & feeling another’s feelings for yourself
is having compassion for another without necessarily feeling their feelings
Sympathy…
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Empathy is both a character trait and an ability
Sympathy is more a reaction of pity, sorrow, affiliation
Empathy Vs Sympathy
Empathy has an ethical or moral dimension & can be learned
Ever try walking a mile in someone else’s shoes?
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Empathy Vs Sympathy
“Empathy fuels connection, sympathy drives disconnection. Rarely does an empathic response begin with ‘at least’.” Brené Brown
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Imagine a colleague proposes a strategy with which you do not agree. You do not sympathise with their point of view. Fine.
However, what is useful is to understand why they might have arrived at that strategy and why it might seem right or important to them.
You can empathise with them, even as you disagree.
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Communicate the understanding so it can be felt
See the world as others see it
Understand another’s feelings then, now, later…
Theresa Wiseman’s Four Defining Attributes of Empathy:
Understand without having to like or agree
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Express your understanding, but never say ‘I know what you feel’
Look at the world through the eyes of the other
Allow yourself to connect with the other’s experience
Convert these attributes into Empathy
Instead of judging, ask ‘why’ the other behaves, or says the things they do
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Deeper and…Deeper Still
Radical listening
Look for the human behind everything
Become curious about strangers
BBC 2015 online magazine on ways to train Empathy:
‘To some it comes naturally, but others have to work at it.However, we can all learn to improve our Empathy.’
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Radical Listening
Resist the urge to interrupt
‘’What is essential is our ability to be present to what’s really going on within – to the unique feelings and needs a person is experiencing at that very moment.’Marshall Rosenberg, psychologist and founder of Non-Violent Communication
Concentrate on the other person
Try repeating back to them what they have said
You do not have to like or agree with what they say
Repeating back improves conflict resolution by 50%!
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UIDE
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Looking for the human behind everything
Be mindful of the human being behind everytransaction and situation
Here is a quote from a barista’s blog:
“It is unfathomable how many interactions go on betweencustomers and baristas that don’t actually include any interacting. Being ‘shushed’ or given the ‘one minute’ finger just makes a barista want to respond with a finger of their own.”
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Curiosity about others removes the focus fromourselves
Curiosity about others trains us to consider other people’s perspectives & ideas
Become curious about strangers
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The charismatic author Studs Terkel took the bus regularly just to engage other’s in conversation:
Become curious about strangers
“Don’t be an examiner, be the interested inquirer.
Being genuinely interested in others in a character test. You have to want to be interested. Developing your repertoire of healthy questions is useful. However, your authentic curiosity will spur you to strike up a real conversation.”
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UIDE To know that Empathy and Sympathy are different
To internalise the essential attributes of Empathy
To apply empathetic characteristics and habits
EmpathyLearning Outcomes
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Summing Up & What’s Next
Booklet landing on your desk w/c 20th JuneWebinar hitting your desktop 1st July