PSFC vs Portobello Young Boys   26.03.09 Cavalry Park, Duddingston.

After a fraught initial journey involving gridlock traffic, dodgy directions and mystery tours up a one way farm track, The Primaries arrived at a windswept and dilapidated Cavalry Park Sports Complex for their eagerly anticipated match up with Portobello Young Boys.

From the outset, it appeared the odds were stacked against Primaries (or The Travelling Dangleberries as they like to be known) as Portobello adhered to the strict U21 rule; i.e. they fielded a whole team of U21’s. Not to mention the fact they bagsied the half with the wind behind them and the sun at their backs. Talk about taking liberties!

However, this Primaries team is one used to battling in the face of diversity (we’ve got a 60 year old man in goals for pity’s sake) and they took to the field with Zest and Gusto (two Italian ringers they had picked up as hitchhikers on the journey…. Both pish.)

The opening half was a triumphant one for Primaries as they pinned back their opponents with composed, precise passing and no little skill. New fish and resident Swarthy Hot Shot Gary Sullivan was first to try his hand after a delightful (i.e. hopeful) pass from the midfield, managing to outpace and outmuscle a stodgy Young Boys defence and unleash a soaring right foot effort against the face of the cross bar.

With the pressure beginning to mount on PYBFC the break through came and, by God, it was a goal of genuine quality. There seemed to be no danger as the ball was fed by Stevie Jamieson to Jamie Begg on the left wing, but a terrific turn of pace and close ball skills enabled the usually profligate Begg to outstrip the defence, dance round the 17 year old goalie and slip into an unguarded net. 1-0 primaries!!

The capacity crowd of 4 old women expected Primaries to build on all their initial good play and extend their lead. In fact, the opposite happened.

Precisely 3 minutes after scoring the Young Boys won a 50-50 in the midfield area and punted a tempest assisted long ball forward. Somehow this managed to evade exemplary centre halves Neil and Paddy (I’m sure there’s a name for a sitcom in there) and the 15 year old striker ran through with only Ian “Iron Fist” Forrest to beat. The forward slotted coolly to level the match.

The rest of the half was played out like a sporting version of Moby Dick as the howling wind continued unabated and eventually the Referee blew for Half Time.

1-1 Half Time.

The second half started with renewed optimism for PSFC and we hoped that the wind would now act as a twelfth man to carry us through to a thoroughly deserved win. However, as is becoming a common thread for the season, the second half was fraught with difficulty from the off. This manifested itself in the shape of a mischievous body of water running down the side of the pitch. First one, then two match balls found their way into the surging torrent which would in turn rob the game of any potential for free flowing football (lovely alliteration!) by having the remainder of the match played out with what can only be described as “a flat ball”.

The referee was quickly becoming a cause for concern also. McCann had his knuckles rapped for vociferously contesting a free kick against him and Sullivan was warned by the now openly biased whistler to “stop tackling my lads”.

As the home side gradually imposed their youthful brand of kick and rush, the Primaries dug deep and carved out another glorious opportunity for Begg. A free kick from the left was beautifully flighted by Morrison to the right side of the penalty area where Begg calmly killed the ball and bore down on goal. This time Begg spurned the opportunity by firing wide of the far post. Unlucky! (for “unlucky” read “pish”)

Just when it looked as though Primaries would steel themselves for a final assault disaster struck. The referee who had penalised Primaries fearsome attacker Sullivan all game for offside, inexplicably waved Young Boys on even though when the pass was struck the striker appeared to be standing speaking to the opposition goalie about the finer points of Gene Krupa’s drum technique. The lanky urchin controlled the ball with his knee, accepted a give and go from Neil’s backside and fired a shot at goal only for Forrest to launch a bionic arm at the ball to parry away. Unfortunately, Primaries defence seemed bewitched by the spectacle which enabled the striker to bundle home at the third attempt. 1-2 Young Boys

With time running out Primaries launched wave after wave of attack with Dimeck and Gilhooley coming to the fore. A last minute corner was awarded after a McCann effort and the Primaries geared up for one last chance on goal.

The set piece was pinged into a penalty box which resembled something out of Rawkes Drift and, after an old fashioned “stramash”, Ross “Ronaldinho”  Morrison volleyed a majestic overhead kick into the roof of the net from close range. Justice was finally served!

Final Score 2-2.

In summary another hard fought match from PSFC and one can only think that it has to get easier then this as the season unfolds!  Prove me wrong kids!… Prove me WRONG!

Yours In Sport

Dicky Davies