Proudly presented by: Miss Manners (M.D. Van Ham) · 2009-10-14 · Proudly presented by: Miss...
Transcript of Proudly presented by: Miss Manners (M.D. Van Ham) · 2009-10-14 · Proudly presented by: Miss...
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NBMA
Proudly presented by: Miss Manners (M.D. Van Ham)( )
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Biosolids & Charm?Biosolids & Charm?P ti R litPerception = Reality
C i i & E iCommunication & Experience
Engagement
Materials and Methods
“Failure is not an option!”‐Biosolids Senior Management
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Materials & MethodsMaterials & MethodsWhat
Advertisements
HowTelephone
Fact Sheets
Demonstrations
BMPs/BMGs
E‐mail
Website
Conferences/
Hand outs
Publications
Testimonials
Tours
Associations
Radio/TVTestimonials Radio/TV
“Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing”‐ Rollo May, 1949
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MannersMannersM “G id li f Li i ”Manners are “Guidelines for Living”
Respect
Consideration
Honesty
Graciousness
DifferenceDifference
“Don’t squeeze your buttocks to prevent the emission of gas as it may injure your health so if youDon t squeeze your buttocks to prevent the emission of gas as it may injure your health, so if you must in company, cover with a discreet and well‐timed cough”
‐ Erasmus, 1530
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Prudent, secure Biosolids Generator ‐having proven technology and beingwell endowed with significantwell‐endowed with significantinventory ‐ seeks an experienced, lowcost, socially aware, environmentallycost, socially aware, environmentallyconscious, regulatory compliant, safeManagement Option for mutualsatisfaction. Discretion assured andexpected.
“True love stories never have endings”‐ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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A f l bi lidA successful biosolids management programmanagement program is dependent upon d l ddeveloping and maintainingmaintaining Relationships
“True love stories never have endings”‐ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Course OutlineCourse OutlineCh S h l U it #1 R l ti hiCharm School Unit #1: Relationships1. Preparing for the First Date
2. Dating Etiquette
3. Building & Maintaining a Relationship
4. Keeping it Interesting
5 Living Happily Ever After5. Living Happily Ever After
“You must love me”‐Eva Peron in Evita, 1996
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Date PreparationB f th D t
Date PreparationBefore the Date:
Complete a self‐appraisal
Set realistic expectations
Understand what you want
Present yourself well
“Once upon a time he asked her out and paid for everything She followed his agenda with dewyOnce upon a time, he asked her out and paid for everything. She followed his agenda with dewy eyed appreciation. What a long way we have come!”
‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette
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Self AppraisalSelf AppraisalK Y lf ( d Bi lid )Know Yourself (and your Biosolids):
Qualities – good and not so good
Boundaries and limits
Size mattersMaking it happen together – Decisions (of course)
“Commitment to the principles of respect for oneself and others consideration and integrityCommitment to the principles of respect for oneself and others, consideration, and integrity won’t guarantee success in dating, but it can make the process a lot more enjoyable.”
‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette
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Realistic ExpectationsRealistic ExpectationsC itt d R l ti hi t k TiCommitted Relationships take Time
Don’t expect them to put out (the contract) on the first dateA relationship is not a business dealAnticipate nervous interest & apprehensionDesperation smells real badDesperation smells real badIf you are not interested – am I valuable? No hasty decisions
“If you expect every date to be Mr. or Ms. Right, you’re sure to be disappointed.”‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette
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Understand the DesireUnderstand the DesireWh t th bj ti ?What are the objectives?
Biological clocks (timeline)
Monogamy vs. polygamy (diversification)
The trophy spouse (showcase program)
Date to the Christmas party (Craig’s list) or long‐term relationship (seasonal vs. year‐round application)relationship (seasonal vs. year round application)
What are your partner’s objectives? (imagination only)
Previous experiences (influence on perception)
“No date should be expected to read minds A partner deserves to know whether you want to goNo date should be expected to read minds… A partner deserves to know whether you want to go out for the sheer fun of it or are looking for a long‐term commitment.”
‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette
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Present Yourself WellPresent Yourself WellR b h t th idRemember what your mother said:
Brush your teeth
Have a clean car and clean clothes
You only have one chance to make a first impression –make sure it’s a good one
First impressions are hard to changeFirst impressions are hard to change
Fashion MisdemeanorsM S d l i h i h j l h i b d di i i i h h l d hiMen: Sandals with a suit, too much jewelry, shoes in bad condition, tie with short‐sleeved shirtWomen: Torn hems and linings that show, too high heels, jewelry that makes too much noise
‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette
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Dating Etiquette (1)Dating Etiquette (1)Invoke your manners
Be on time
Respect their property
Focus on your good qualitiesFocus on your good qualities
Be honest
Keep your word
All lf b l d l lAllow yourself to be explored slowly
“D ti i t lif l it t ”“Dating is not a lifelong commitment.”‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette
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Dating Etiquette (2)Dating Etiquette (2)Invoke your manners
Your challenges are not theirs
Talk in a manner they will understand – not everyone is impressed that you can speak Acronymp y p y
Listen and allow your date to talk ‐ commonalities
Refrain from multi‐tasking – what is important?
Be and look interested (you are)Be and look interested (you are)
Be ready for action
Leave good memories
“Bi lit i di t l d bl h f d t S t d i ht”“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night”‐Woody Allen
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Create Interest (Tease?)(Tease?)Local Community
Stakeholders
Competition
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Leave Memories (reminders)
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Aggressive PursuitGorilla demonstrationsGorilla demonstrations
Must be confident
Enable “saving of face”
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Relationship Building Relationship Building D l i th l ti hiDeveloping the relationship
Understand your partners needs and desires – ask them
Address concerns
Talk about the big things: finances, adding to the family
Get together often ‐ communicate
Your relationship includes family, friends & neighbours
I t ld th i l th t h h h d h id “ t th h ll ff t ”I told my mother‐in law that my house was her house, and she said “get the hell off my property”‐ Joan Rivers
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Address ConcernsAddress Concerns
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Address ConcernsAddress Concerns
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Needs and DesiresNeeds and Desires
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CommunicateCommunicate
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CommunicateCommunicate
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FinancesFinancesEstablish and recognize value:g
Important to have a realistic budget
Understand financial responsibilities
Recognize and appreciate valueRecognize and appreciate value
Explore opportunities to change finances
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Participate in EventsParticipate in Events
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Meet their FamilyMeet their Family
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Meet their FriendsMeet their Friends
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Meet their PeersMeet their Peers
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Meet their NeighboursMeet their Neighbours
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Show off ShowcaseShow off - Showcase
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Adding to the FamilyAdding to the Family
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Addi t th F ilAdding to the Family
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Keeping it InterestingKeeping it InterestingM ki it t th Sil A iMaking it to the Silver Anniversary:
Be considerate
Remember the other person is your partner – mutual benefit
Take their concerns seriously
Show some appreciation – celebrate your relationshipShow some appreciation celebrate your relationship
Participate in family events
Long distance relationships – local awareness
Ch itChange it up…
“If the relationship is to survive it will be firmly planted in the Golden Rule: Treat the person youIf the relationship is to survive it will be firmly planted in the Golden Rule: Treat the person you care about as you want to be treated.”
‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette
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Be ConsiderateBe Considerate
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AppreciationAppreciation
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ChallengesChallengesA B i th R l ti hi R dA Bump in the Relationship Road:The Art of Responding
Don’t automatically take it personallyDon t automatically take it personally
Size up your annoyances
Take responsibility for your actions – avoid blame
B i df l f h i d tBe mindful of your phrasing and tone
Always meet in person
Know when to take a break
“The quality which perhaps more than any other distinguishes true sportsmanship is absence of temper…not temper brought along and held in check, but temper securely locked and left at
home.”‐ Emily Post in Emily Post’s Etiquette
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Living HappilyLiving Happily…E AftEver After
Don’t take it for granted – many people wish they had what you have
Relationships take time
“And as fluid as manners are (and always have been), they rest on the same bedrock principles:And as fluid as manners are (and always have been), they rest on the same bedrock principles: respect, consideration, and honesty.”
‐ Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette
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NBMA
Mi M (M D (Mik ) V H )Miss Manners (M.D. (Mike) Van Ham)
SylvisPhone: 604 777 9788Phone: 604.777.9788
Email: [email protected]