Friendship Baptist Church

Protecting Our Families on the Internet

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:”—(1 Peter 5:8)

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Agenda

• Introduction• Family Internet Covenant• 10 Clues To Detect Broken Family Rules• Law Enforcement Resources• Parental Control Tools• Home Network Security• Cell Phone Controls• Resources for Parents

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Introduction

• Recent Headlines: Former United Nations Weapons Inspector Scott Ritter

• National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC)– Congress authorized CyberTipline, launched March 1998,

operated in partnership with:• Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)• Department of Homeland Security’s Immigration and Customs

Enforcement (ICE)• U.S. Postal Inspection Service (USPIS)• Internet Crimes Against Children Task Forces (ICACs)• U.S. Secret Service (USSS)• U.S. Department of Justice’s Child Exploitation and Obscenity

Section (CEOS)• Other international, state, and local law enforcement

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CyberTipline Statistics

As of October 2009:

Type of Incident Incidents Reported

Child Pornography 653,088

Child Prostitution 8,147

Child Sex Tourism 3,227

Child Sexual Molestation (not family) 17,086

Online Enticement of Children for Sexual Acts 46,731

Unsolicited Obscene Material Sent to a Child 8,125

Misleading Domain Name 9,339

Misleading Words/Digital Images on the Internet 3,184

Total # of Incidents: 748,927

Studies Show…

• 90% of kids between 8-16 have accidentally stumbled onto a pornographic website, usually while doing their homework

• 79% of unwanted pornography exposure occurs at home• 64% of teens say they do things online that they don't

want their parents to know about

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What is Cyberbullying?The National Crime Prevention Council defines cyber-bullying as: “when the Internet, cell phones or other devices are used to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person”

StopCyberbullying.org, an expert organization dedicated to internet safety, security and privacy, defines cyberbullying as: “a situation when a child, tween or teen is repeatedly ‘tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted’ by another child or teenager using text messaging, email, instant messaging or any other type of digital technology.”

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Cyber-bullying Statistics• 2004 I-Safe.org survey of 1,500 students between grades 4-8

reported:– 42% of kids were bullied while online. 1 in 4 had it happen more than once – 35% of kids were threatened online. 1 in 5 repeatedly – 21% of kids have received mean or threatening e-mails or other messages. – 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online.

More than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than once. – 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful

that happened to them online.

• A 2006 survey by Harris Interactive reported:– 43% of U.S. teens experienced some form of cyberbullying in the past year.

• Similarly, a Canadian study found:– 23% of middle-schoolers surveyed had been bullied by e-mail – 35% in chat rooms – 41% by text messages on their cell phones – 41% did not know the identity of the perpetrators. 7

Case Study: Megan Meier

• Missouri 13-year old Megan Meier committed suicide at home in October 2006 after receiving cruel messages, including one stating the world would be better off without her

• She thought she was chatting with a 16-year-old boy named Josh Evans. Josh didn't exist.

• A federal grand jury indicted Lori Drew, a 47-year old woman, on four counts of violating the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act for her alleged role in perpetrating a hoax on MySpace

• The jury found Drew guilty of one count to a reduced misdemeanor charge. A federal judge overturned the jury’s conviction and acquitted her on his technical interpretation of the law

• Drew lived four houses away from Megan and started talking to her via the Internet to find out what Megan was saying about her daughter, who was a former friend

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A Very Disturbing Trend…• The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned

Pregnancy surveyed 653 teens and 627 young adults—between September 25, 2008 and October 3, 2008– 20% of teens and 33% of young adults send/post unclothed or scantily

clad pictures/videos of themselves, mostly girls sending to boys– 39% of teens and 59% of young adults send or post sexually

suggestive messages

• Most teens and young adults send suggestive content to boyfriends/girlfriends, others are sending to those they want to hook up with or only know online

• A 2009 UK survey of 2,094 teens (11–18) found 38% received obscene or disturbing sexual images via text or email

• Practice of sending via cell phone is called “Sexting” a portmanteau of “sex” and “texting”

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Legal Consequences…• In many countries and states, teens are charged as child

pornographers or sex offenders:– Australia (2007): 32 teenagers prosecuted for sexting– Greensburg, Pennsylvania (January 2009): six teenagers charged with

child pornography; 3 girls who sent the photos charged as accomplices in producing child pornography

– Indiana’s two options: 1.) do nothing; 2.) charge child with felony and require the minor to register as a sex offender for 10 years; conviction follows them for the rest of their lives.

– Fort Wayne, Indiana: teenage boy indicted on felony obscenity charges after sending pictures of himself to girls in his class

– Two Ohio teenagers charged with contributing to the delinquency of minors after sending photos to other teenagers

– Orlando, Fla: Phillip Alpert, 18, convicted as a sex offender after sending photos of his 16-year old girlfriend to dozens of her friends and family after an argument. They dated for 2 ½ years 10

The Ultimate Consequence

Jessie Logan, a Cincinnati 18-year old committed suicide after pictures she sexted to her boyfriend were maliciously forwarded to hundreds of students in her high school after their break-up.

In an interview by WLTW a local Cincinnati news station, Cynthia Logan, Jessie’s mom said this about her daughter’s last words in a phone call,

“And she said ‘I love you madre.’ And I said ‘I love you baby and I’ll see you soon.’”

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Think it can’t happen to Christians?

• Don’t think for one second it can’t happen in a Christian home, school or youth group– Pastor and former missionary– Schools banning cell phone use/possession– February 2010 Study: 1 in 4 millennials have no religion, of those who

do 1 in 3 claim a strong faith (Pew Forum on Religion & Public)

• Parents reach their kids when they:– Teach and model truth– Build relationships– Are authentic– Ask for forgiveness when they're wrong

“Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.”—Josh McDowell12

Dads…• Today’s youth readily exchange their privacy for social

acceptance. (facebook, MySpace, etc.)• The responsibility is on us as…

– Protectors– Providers– Nurturers– Correctors– Spiritual leaders in the home

“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”—(1 Timothy 5:8)

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Today’s Home Network

Color LaserJet

Multi-FunctionLaserJet

Dad’s Laptop

iPod

Guest Computer

Dad’s Computer

Mom’s Computer

Internet

Teen’s Netbook

Attic Router

Family RoomAccess Point

Office Router

PS3

WII

Print Server

Cell TowerCrackberry

Mom’s CellPhone

Teen’s CellPhone

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Family Internet Covenant

• Sets ground rules in your home to govern the use of the internet

• Pray about it with your children• Fosters an open dialog• Strengthens your relationship with your kids• Matures your kids sense of responsibility and gains their

buy-in• Demonstrates your love for them because you want to

guard their hearts

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Start with “The Game Plan”

• Start with “The Game Plan” document from www.internetsafety.com

• Collaborate with you kids and modify it to address your particular needs

• May want to include curfews and penalties• Parents and children sign it when complete• Post it in a prominent area as a continual reminder of the

covenant• Remember, this is a “Family” covenant. Parents need to

comply as well

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Suggested Rules 1-5

1. We will never give out personal information such as our last name, address or phone number. We will not give out the name of our school, our city, our siblings, our sports team or our parent’s workplace.

2. We all agree to not give our passwords to anyone outside of our family. I will not change the settings for my computer or my password without my parent’s permission.

3. We all agree to limit our online time so that it doesn’t interfere with other activities.

4. I will never meet an online friend in person. If anyone ever asks to meet with me off line, I will notify my parents immediately.

5. I will tell my mom or dad right away if I come across something that makes me feel uncomfortable.

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Suggested Rules 6-10

6. I will not remain on or click on a page that says, “For Over 18 Years Only.”

7. I will only download pictures and files with my parent’s permission.

8. I will not send pictures of my family or myself to anyone online without my parent’s permission.

9. I will be safe everywhere and will follow the same Internet safety rules at my friends’ houses, at school and at the library that I do while I’m at home.

10. I understand that nothing is private on the Internet. I agree that my mom or dad can read my mail or check the sites that I have been visiting—because they want to make sure that I am safe.

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10 Clues To Detect Broken Rules (1)

1. You or your child receives unusual amounts of unsolicited email or pop-ups.

2. Your child tries to block the computer screen or quickly closes the window in which he is typing.

3. Your child spends an unusual amount of time online, especially in the evenings.

4. Your child changes her password and/or will not share it with you.

5. Your child uses an online account other than her own.

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10 Clues To Detect Broken Rules (2)

6. Your child withdraws from family or friends. 7. You discover photos of strangers on your child’s

computer. 8. Your child receives phone calls from strangers. 9. Your child receives mail, gifts, or packages from

someone you don’t know. 10.You discover inappropriate images or files on your

child’s computer

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Parental Control Tools

• What are “Parental Controls”?– Tools that allow parents to choose appropriate content for their

children. Parental control software has been developed for everything from TV to the internet and cell phones. (Remember the V-chip?)

• PCMag.com ran an informative article called “Child-Proof Your Computer.” Top three “big-kid” parental control systems:– NetNanny 6.0– OnlineFamily.Norton– Safe Eyes 5.0

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Safe Eyes (www.internetsafety.com)

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Endorsed by Dave Ramsey

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Listen to what Dave has to say…

The Dave Ramsey video can be found here:

http://www.internetsafety.com/tell-a-friend.php

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What Safe Eyes Does

• Content controls: Select the types of website that are appropriate

• Blocks unwanted email• Program controls: Control Instant Messengers, File Sharing,

and other harmful programs• Time controls: Control the amount of time spent online, and

the times when the internet is available.• Usage logging: Create and review logs of websites visited,

programs used on the Internet, and Instant Messaging Chats• Usage alerts—Be notified instantly via email, text message,

or phone call when someone visits inappropriate websites

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More Features

• Works with PC or Mac• iPod version also available• Cost: $49.95/yr – install on up to three machines

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Alerts

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Activity with Banned Hits

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Activity with Banned Hits

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Activity with No Banned Hits

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Program Activity

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Website Posts

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Home Network Security

• If you have a home network, you can create security policies to restrict internet access or impose time limits

• Computers are restricted by IP or MAC address• Performing a firmware upgrade may erase security

policies• Read your manual or visit your vendor’s website for

instructions

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Cell Phone Controls

• All major wireless carriers offer parental controls for their children’s phones

• Phone must be compatible• Additional charges may apply

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Resources for Parents

• CyberTipline: www.cybertipline.com or 1-800-843-5678 • NCMEC: www.missingkids.com• National Campaign Survey:

http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/sextech/PDF/SexTech_Summary.pdf

• Safe Eyes: www.internetsafety.com• NetNanny: www.netnanny.com • OnlineFamily.Norton: http://onlinefamily.norton.com

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What If It’s Not My Kid?

• What would you do if you find out that one of your kid’s friends makes a post that doesn’t live up to your family’s standards?– Avoid immediate knee jerk reactions– Nothing we do can prevent immature attempts at humor, bad

judgment or completely innocent mistakes– Turn it into an opportunity to disciple your weaker brother/sister– “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual,

restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1, KJV)

– If all else fails, and the behavior becomes pervasive, talk to the other parents and follow Mathew 18