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“Princess Leia -WHO?” .....---- SINCE YOU ASKED:

---- 9 WEIRD THINGS about being a movie character – who suddenly comes to life! Well, I’ve spent my life in a state of dissociative amnesia, until my memory finally surfaced over the last few years, for real. Until now, I had no idea who I am, what I was doing, or why, most of the time. And yet, I was always considered “high functioning”. Right. Hey, this would make a good movie, wouldn’t it?

*1) Try getting a driver's license with the real name, Princess Leia Lucas. First, there’s stunned silence. Then, they laugh. I wait for the questions, then I answer … “No, I don’t look like Carrie Fisher”, (except for my lack of height, which I make up for in ferocity), “No, my last name isn’t Organa,” (for the organza fabric dress I loved as a child. Georgie made this attached to me permanently. Gotta love him). “Why Yes, Lucas is my real maiden name (mother’s side), AND my international married name, in the countries where I’m of royalty. What? Yes, I know the DMV doesn’t issue Star Ship licenses. I just drive a regular car, right here on planet earth. Okay, sure, sometimes on Alderaan. What? As I said, I don’t need to man The Warship -with Han Solo, (but I’d be happy to pilot you into outer-space, any time you like). Seriously, have you dealt with the DMV? (Kidding! The local DMV office was actually really nice.)

** 2) Everyone laughs when I introduce myself by my name. “Princess Leia, huh? Good one!” Then they look around asking for Darth, Luke, Chewie and the gang. They laugh at their cleverness. I wait. Eventually, they ask again, “So, what’s your real name?” Right. Giant smile. I answer. We do the whole thing again. I’m now counting to see who will do this the most times, with the worst jokes. Finally they stop laughing, and there’s this uncomfortable silence. I wait. I stare. They ask…… .”You are kidding, right?....What? No wait, I didn’t hear you correctly”. (Really? What planet are you on?!).

***3) When I introduce myself to Star Wars fan clubs or groups, they tend to respond with, “Yeah, we’re all Princess Leia here, no problem”. “No, I mean I REALLY AM Princess Leia Lucas”. Stunned silence. “Oh. Well. Um, we already have plenty of Princess Leia's in our group at this time. Um, most of the girls wear the original costume, you know, but they’re real….young.” Right.

****4) After I say my name, older guys tend to give me a large smirk, then they ask this mature lady, "Hey, did you actually wear that metal bikini thing? That was awesome". NO, I NEVER WORE A METAL BIKINI! I SWEAR! .....Ok, it was a yellow bikini, with brass rings on it. Can I help it if Georgie exaggerates!? (I am SOOOO getting even with him for that!)

*****5) People tend to ask me if I actually used the famous Kaiser-Roll hairdo. I tell the truth. “Yes, I did when I was younger”. This is followed with the question, “Um, did you do this for a reason?” Apparently

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my strange fashion sense needs explanation. Where upon I explain, “ I was working undercover for the Director of the FBI, (for real), so I used the hairdo to cover the spiral wire hanging around my left ear.” After this, young people, (such as my daughter) look at me highly confused, than ask, “Why didn’t you just use your cell phone, or Bluetooth?”

******6) Business executives typically ask me how much money I’ve made from all the Star Wars movies -and licensing fees and all, after so many years, as their eyes grow large. Gosh. Let me think. Hmmmmm…..That would be…..um… NOTHING (!), nada, nichts, niente, netchego, not a red cent! You get the idea. It’s a small world after all.

*******7) The Georgie I knew always wanted to be Robin Hood, running off with Maid Marian, to steal from the rich, and give to the poor. Well, let’s see . Robin. He did fly around, a lot, but I don’t remember seeing any red breasts. Hood. Hoodlum? Honestly, he doesn’t wear enough head covering to make a decent Jew. And Marian? Well, Georgie does run around with wife Mellody, so he got the letters “M” and “d” right anyway, (hey, that’s something!). And, Georgie did make a lot of money, but basically for already rich guys, (like him). However, I DO work like a maid. Only, as per usual, I don’t get paid didley squat. So much for “giving to the poor”.

********8) People DO ask me all the time if Georgie responds to the many letters I’ve sent him in recent years. Let’s see. I did get an arrest threat sent over by his security department. Beyond this? Well, …….he, kind of….No. Nope, nada, nichts, niente, netchego. BUT, apparently Georgie still knows me on a flat screen - that's struggling to be "The Force Awakens". Hmmmm. He'll have to manage this one alone. I'm not touching it.

*******9) Many fans ask me how I feel about being "an aging Sex Toy". Well….actually, aside from having served as a federal agent, I’m an aging neuroscientist running foundations that employ the complex Brain Transmission Therapies that cured me. We do this to help other veterans and trauma survivors, (see www.localcommunities.org/IFNBT). “Hey guys - that's a different kind of arousal”. And, it’s also hard -to explain this to certain males creatures, if you know what I mean.

Want to republish? Sure - just ask! My Force is already awakened. (See www.localcommunities.org/PrincessLeiaLucas; www.localcommunities.org/FOSTERFoundation ; www.localcommunities.org/LifeForceRecovery )