Pressure Point by William Lee - Continuity notes

8/9/2019 Pressure Point by William Lee - Continuity notes

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PRESSURE POINT

CONTINUITY

Our story takes place in a single day.

1. Morning. Griffith home. Begins in the morning at the

Griffith home as the prepare for their trip.

2. Same time. Notting Hill. The bank robbery at Notting

Hill bank.

3. Later that morning. Motor home. The Griffith family on

the road. The motor home dies.

4. Same time. Bank. The aftermath of the bank robbery.

Paramedics take Hunts wife away.

5. Minutes later. The motor home. Jed works on engine.

6. Minutes later. Hospital. Hunt at hospital. Informed

his wife is going to surgery.

7. Minutes later. Bank. Hunt back at bank?

8. Minutes later. Motor home. Kidnapper, disguised as

patrolman, arrives at motor home.

9. Minutes later. Highway. Patrolman Levy is found by

police officers. Hunt and Flowers are already there?

10. Minutes later. Motor home. Kidnapper reveals his true

motive.

11. Minutes later. Highway. Police search immediate area

of Levy crime scene. Hunt and Flowers still there. Hunt

is going back to hospital.

12. Same time. Motor home traveling (towards crime

scene?)(which one?) Bank robbery? Kidnapper in control.13. Minute later. Highway. Hunt passes motor home on road.

14. Minutes later. Highway. Hunt discovers abandoned

patrol car. Inspects car and discovers blood.

15. Minutes later. Motor home. Motor home traveling.

Stopped by Flowers at roadblock? Her search of motor

home is cut off by Hunts call announcing he found

abandoned patrol car. Hunt takes a long time to call it

in?

16. Minute later. Highway. Shortly after leaving

roadblock, Jed loses control of motor home as deer leaps

on road. Jed is shot. Is this within earshot of police

at roadblock?17. Later. Hospital. Hunt back at hospital. Finds out

his wife is dead. Flowers is there?

18. Later. Motor home. Kidnapper traveling with family.

Motor home runs out of gas.

19. Later. Hospital. Hunt at roadblock. Receives a call

from Flowers.

20. Minutes later. Motor home. Wayne drives up and offers

to help with motor home.


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21. Minutes later. Highway. Mavis and Skip find Jed. They

mistake him for bank robber. Jed escapes.

22. Minutes later. Highway. Wayne taking kidnapper and

Tiffany to gas station. How did they get there?

23. Minutes later. Highway. Hunt interviews Mavis and Skip

where they found Jed.

24. Minutes later. Woods. Jed escaping through woods.25. Minutes later. Motor home. Hayle and Shane debate what

to do. They hide from good Samaritan.

26. Later. Gas station. Wayne and kidnapper and Tiffany at

gas station. Tiffany goes to bathroom. Discovers phone.

Kidnapper pays for gas.

27. Same time. Motor home. Hayle and Shane waits for

Kidnapper and Tiffany. Shane punctures brake line.

28. Same time. Gas station. Kidnapper goes to find Tiffany.

Discovers pay phone.

29. Later. Montage of Hunt and search party tracking Jed

through woods.

30. Minutes later. Kidnapper returns to motor home. Motor

home drives off leaving oil stain. How much time could

have passed from going to get gas, get gas and return to

motor home? Could not be more than 15-20 minutes?

31. Later. Police station. Mavis and Skip help with sketch

of Jed.

32. Later. Motor home traveling. Kidnapper searches for

landmark.

33. Later. Woods. Jed running from search party.

34. Same time. Montage of Jeds sketch as it prints.

35. Later. Motor home traveling. Oil leak continues.

36. Minutes later. Gas station. Patrolman delivers sketch

to attendant and pulls away. Phone rings and as

attendant answers the phone Jed arrives. Jed steals

salesmans car. Attendant calls police on cellular

phone.

37. Minutes later. Jed driving down the highway.

38. Same time. Woods. Hunt gets call about Jed at gas

station.

39. Minutes later. Jed driving.

40. Same time. Hunt driving.

41. Minutes later. Jed takes turnoff following motor home.

42. Same time. Hunt drives past turnoff and sees Jeds car.

The chase is on followed by shootout. Jed escapes intothe woods as more police arrive.

43. Minutes later. Woods. Jed running away.

44. Same time. Hunt peers into woods.

45. Later. Search party has been organized. Blood hounds

arrive.

46. Later. Woods. Jed on the run. Hears blood hounds in

the distance. How long has it been and how far has he

traveled. Not long and not far if he hears the blood


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hounds. The next scene the dogs are just moving into the

woods from roadway.

47. Same time. The dogs start into the woods leading the

search party.

48. Minutes later. Woods. Jed running. Hears the dogs

closing in.

49. Same time. Woods. Dogs searching for Jed. Pick upscent.

50. Minutes later. Woods. Jed falls into bear trap.

51. Same time. Woods. Hunt and search party tracking Jed.

52. Same time. Woods. Jed struggles inside bear trap.

53. Same time. Woods. ATV traveling through woods.

54. Same time. Woods. Jed struggles in bear trap. ATV

arrives and Guard pulls him out.

55. Same time. Woods. Hunt receives a message from

headquarters. Trouble at the station.

56. Same time. Police station. Kingman and his people

demonstrating as press looks on.

57. Minutes later. Police station. Hunt is inside watching

demonstration. Militia exposition. Why would Hunt

abandon search if they are so close?

58. Minutes later. Woods. Hunt is back in the woods asking

everyone why theyre standing around. Flowers is

suddenly there. Has she been there all along?

59. Later. Secondary road. Motor home. Hayle pleads to be

released. Kidnapper finds dirt road, instructs Hayle to

take it.

60. Same time. Woods. Guard and Jed on ATV. They see

compound in distance.

61. Same time. Woods. Hunt and search party find bear pit.

Police ATVs arrive. They follow ATV tracks.

62. Same time. Compound. Jed is led into house. Meets

Kingman.

63. Same time. Woods. Police ATVs following Jeds trail.

64. Same time. Compound house. Kingman interrogates Jed.

Jed is left alone. He searches for a way out. Changes

clothes.

65. Same time. Woods. Search party closing in on Jed.

66. Same time. Dirt road. Motor home arrives at compound

gate.

67. Same time. Compound. Monitors show motor home at gate.

68. Minutes later. Compound. Motor home drives towardshouse. Jed wants to take care of it alone.

69. Minute later. Compound. Kingman searches Jeds

clothes. Finds Jeds business card with to-do list on

back.

70. Same time. Woods. Hunt and search part watch compound

and motor home as it pulls up. Jed approaches.


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71. Same time. Compound. Kidnapper locks kids in bathroom

before stepping out of motor home with Hayle. Jed gets

the drop on Kidnapper.

72. Same time. Woods. Hunt and search party watching

compound. Hunt is going in alone.

73. Same time. Compound. Jed is exposed by Kingman and

taken prisoner.74. Same time. Woods. Flowers watching. Confused by what

she sees.

75. Same time. Motor home. Shane struggles to escape from

bathroom.

76. Minute later. Compound house. Jed and Hayle led into

house.

77. Same time. Compound perimeter. Flowers and others

close in. Thinks somethings wrong. Calls Hunt.

78. Same time. Compound house. Kingman discovers the

compound is surrounded by police. Shootout begins as

police storm compound. Wicker is confronted by Hunt.

Kingman and Hunt fight. Wicker escapes in motor home.

Jed chases, jumps on motor home. Hunt almost shoots Jed.

Flowers saves him.

79. Same time. Motor home. Wickers driving furiously away.

Shane struggles to get free.

80. Same time. Motor home. Jed fights to hang on. Cop

shoots tire.

81. Same time. Motor home. Wicker fights to control wheel.

Shane is almost free. Another cop fires, hits Wicker.

Motor home is out of control. Jed hangs on. Shane

escapes bathroom. Shane drives.

82. Same time. Dirt road. Hunt and cops in pursuit.

83. Same time. Motor home. Jed regains control and climbs

on the roof.

84. Same time. Motor home. Shane struggles to get to the

drivers seat. Reaches drivers seat, pulls Wicker off.

Motor home heading towards closed gate. No brakes.

85. Same time. Motor home. Jed crawls across roof.

86. Same time. Motor home. Motor home crashes through

gate. Jed swings inside through windshield. Jed gets

behind wheel. Again, no brakes.

87. Minute later. Motor home. Sharp curve ahead and no way

to slow down.

88. Seconds later. Motor home. Motor home flies off roadand bounces through trees as Jed struggles with brakes

and transmission. Motor home is heading for a very steep

cliff. Finally, motor home rolls over and dangles off

edge of cliff. It is now teetering on the edge of

disaster.

89. Seconds later. Motor home. Jed and Shane carefully

look for Tiffany. Motor home rocking back and forth

ready to go over.


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90. Seconds later. Jed and Wicker fight to the death.

Etcetcetc

NOTES:

1. Shane should be hipper (by todays youth standards)andwith greater maturity that he is showing now. Its

difficult for Jed to accept that his son is maturing into

a young man. Shane wants to prove to Jed that he is

capable and responsible.

Note: Shanes dialogue> there is a definite today slang

among teens to color Shanes dialogue. It could help define

the generation gap with his father: they both use slang but

one is outdated (dad) the other is not (Shane). Dad doesnt

quite understand what Shane is talking about.

i.e. da bomb (Shane) groovy or rad (dad)

cool beans (Shane) right on (dad)

Im not suggesting Shane should become Pauly Shore. He would

just come off like an idiot.

Slang from bands lyrics is a good place to use.

Easy to understand: 24-7

Sprinkle Shanes speech with just the right amount. It

might be a good joke between Jed and Shane as they toss

their generational slang at each other while Jed is getting

the motor home ready. Jed thinks hes being very cool and

Shane knows hes not. Jed might even try to use Shanes

slang. Of course, it doesnt work and Shane lets him know.

As always the slang of the moment only sounds cool coming

from certain people. i.e. They dont work with mom or dad

as they drive the Volvo on the way to the Galleria.

Since a great portion of our story does not involve

interplay between Jed and Shane, except for the opening and

ending, we should explore the relationship between Wicker

and Shane. That is, a hardened criminal with no moral

values or conscience, (the opposite of Jed) and a young boy

moving towards young manhood. Shane carries the strengthand values taught to him by his father. He is now the man

of the house since they assume Jed is dead. Shane tries to

defend his family as best he can but is outmatched by a

stronger and more cunning adversary. Wickers can see how

much Shane wants to be brave and taunts the boy. This can

pay off at the end when Shane shows his bravery and

resourcefulness.


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2. The time line of the story is less than a day. We might

consider spreading it by either slowing things down a bit

or allowing for one night. Ending could take place the

following morning.

This could help the problem of how fast Jeds sketch is

done and distributed so fast.

3. Hunt and Flowers seem to beam around a la Star Trek. So

does Kingman.

4. More tension could be explored between Wickers and Hayle.

Hayle loses some of the personality she had from the

opening once they are taken hostage.

5. The leaking brakes might be reconsidered since it takes

such a long time for the oil to leak out. Is it

necessary? The problem could occur when the cops shoot

at the motor home. I know the object is to create

tension as we watch the brakes lose their oil but its a

kind of build that doesnt pay off.

6. The end sequence works well as a whole. We just need to

board it moment by moment to make it exciting and

dramatic.

7. Does Hunts wife need to die? Maybe she in intensive

care and it doesnt look good. Is that enough motivation

for Hunt? If we allow the story to evolve over a single

night her death might occur during the night.

Some slang terms:

1.sweet

(adj.) Good; very good; nice

2. wack/wacked/whack/whacked (adj.) uncool; boring

3. da bomb/the bomb (adj.) Good; very good; the best

4.Whats up? (int.) Greeting; hi.

5. like (int.) No real meaning; just a filler

6.mack/mack on (verb) To kiss; to make out

7. chick (noun) A female

8. floss (verb) To show off; to flaunt; to be flashy

9.phat (adj.) Good; very good; cool; great; awesome

10. stoked (adj.) very happy and/or excited

11. cool (adj.) good; very goo; excellent

12. grub/grub on (verb) to eat

13. dope (adj.) good; very good; cool; great

14.my bad (phrase) my fault; my mistake (implies apology)

15. kick it (verb) to relax

16. tight (adj.) good; very good; sharp; cool;attarctive

17. trip/trip out (verb) to act crazy; to overreact; toworry.

18. chill/chill out (verb) to relax

19. dude (noun) A person.


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20.All over it (phrase) to be interested or involved insomething.

21.boss (adj.) very cool

22.bugly (adj.) butt ugly

23.bunk (adj.) something that is not working

24. cheesy times 10 (adj.) something cheesy beyond the usualrealm of cheesyness; especially something gaudy or from

the 80s.

25. chickenhead (noun) an ugly person

26. clueless (adj.) nave

27. creechy (adj.) weird

28. dis (verb) disrespect

29. foo (vocative) fool

30. gimped out (adj.) messed up; retarded-looking

31. issues (noun) problems

32. jam(verb) to leave

33. kick it (verb) to relax

34. negatory (int.) No35. rentals (noun) parents

36. the grail (adj.) the ultimate anything

37. total z (adj.) total zero

38. whatever (interjection) I dont care

Pressure Point by William Lee - Continuity notes

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