Presentation Horrors: Don't do these things

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I've done some pretty awful presentations in my career. Here, I've pulled them all into a single, truly horrifying 'ultimate' slide deck. First, I pull them all together. Then I do the same presentation again, with annotations explaining where I goofed and how to avoid it.

Transcript of Presentation Horrors: Don't do these things

  • Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com PRESENTATION HORRORS: DONT DO THESE THINGS
  • NEW BOLD COLOR!Hi. Im Ian Lurie. CEO of an overflowing-with-awesome internet marketing agency called Portent. @portentint
  • NEW BOLD COLOR! This presentation is every bad thing Ive ever done when creating a presentation. Read, learn, and avoid my embarrassing moments. @portentint
  • NEW BOLD COLOR!Its actually TWO presentations: First, the bad presentation. Then the same presentation, annotated. @portentint
  • CATCHY TITLEWITH SQUARED FONTS Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com WHICH IS WONDERFUL, BUT NOW YOU NEED A SUBTITLE SIMPLY TO EXPLAIN THE TITLE
  • SELF-PROMOTION @portentint
  • SELF-PROMOTION @portentint
  • SELF-PROMOTION @portentint
  • SELF-PROMOTION @portentint
  • WITTY ANECDOTE! @portentint
  • NEW BOLD COLOR! @portentint
  • SUMMARY OF WHAT YOULL HEAR @portentint
  • LIST @portentint
  • OF @portentint
  • POINTS @portentint
  • BUT NO BULLETS @portentint
  • Now Im going to use bullets So I can string stu together And because I got really tired And because I didnt rehearse, so Im going to read this to you @portentint
  • OK but now Im using bullets because I know people will want to read this later and remember what I talked about @portentint
  • COLORS USED RANDOMLY @portentint
  • COLORS USED RANDOMLY
  • COLORS USED RANDOMLY @portentint
  • F-BOMB!!!! SWEARING! AUDIENCE LAUGHS, SO ILL DO IT MORE!!! @portentint
  • OOOOH, AAAH, ANIMATED TEXT @portentint
  • SELF-PROMOTION @portentint
  • ACCIDENTAL @portentint
  • ANIMATION @portentint
  • DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint
  • DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint
  • DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint
  • DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint
  • DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint
  • DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint
  • DRONEEEEEEEEEEEEE @portentint
  • Look! Drop shadows!!! @portentint
  • JOKE ABOUT HOW ITS JUST BEFORE/AFTER LUNCH/COFFEE/A BIG PARTY LAST NIGHT @portentint
  • OBLIGTORY TYPO @portentint
  • HEY, LETS GET POLITICAL!!!!! @portentint
  • LAST YEARS SLIDE @portentint
  • ANOTHER LAYOUT AT RANDOM @portentint
  • STOCK PHOTO TO HUMANIZE PRESENTATION
  • BETCHA CANT READ THIS
  • BETCHA CANT READ THISI PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS IMAGE SO IM GOING TO USE IT DAMMIT. @portentint
  • I FORGOT YOU USE 4: @portentint
  • 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 1 2 3 4 5 Foobly stu Foobly stu
  • SELF-PROMOTION @portentint
  • OHGODIMOUTOFTIME SOIWILLRUSHTHROUGH THELASTPARTSSOFAST YOULEARNNOTHING @portentint
  • TANGENT RANT THING @portentint
  • @portentint
  • LOW-CONTRAST. ITS ARTISTIC AND STUFF. @portentint
  • DIFFERENT FONTS BECAUSE ITS ARTISTIC TOO @portentint
  • WTF??! THIS ISNT KNOCKOUT BOLD!!! @portentint
  • LOOK! I GOT ALL DESIGNY AND STUFF.
  • Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com logo here phone address rst-born male childs name CONTACT ME! PLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE
  • @portentint Lets analyze this presentation, shall we?
  • CATCHY TITLEWITH SQUARED FONTS Im guilty of this. Ian Lurie @portentint www.portent.com WHICH IS WONDERFUL, BUT NOW YOU NEED A SUBTITLE SIMPLY TO EXPLAIN THE TITLE
  • SELF-PROMOTION OK, no problem @portentint
  • SELF-PROMOTION OK, no problem @portentint
  • SELF-PROMOTION Wait @portentint
  • SELF-PROMOTION K now its becoming a problem. 5 minutes of self- promotion in a 30-minute presentation? Not OK. @portentint
  • WITTY ANECDOTE! Please, make it relevant And not offensive I once cracked a joke making fun of economists and their fashion choices. At an economics conference. Guess what? They didnt laugh. I felt like an idiot for the rest of my talk. Oh, see that? That was an anecdote. @portentint
  • NEW BOLD COLOR! GAAAH My eyes!!!! Try a natural color palette for starters
  • SUMMARY OF WHAT YOULL HEAR I actually dont suggest a summary Try going naturally from one point to the next, instead @portentint
  • LIST @portentint
  • OF Youre avoiding bullets. Thats great!!!! But there is a place for bullets in presentations @portentint
  • POINTS Bullets are meant for lists If you have a real list @portentint
  • BUT NO BULLETS So use bullets for lists @portentint
  • Oy. This is bloody awful. Dont use bullets as punctuation, or to string thoughts together Now Im going to use bullets So I can string stu together And because I got really tired And because I didnt rehearse, so Im going to read this to you @portentint
  • Still no. Consider doing a separate annotated version (like what youre reading now) instead. OK but now Im using bullets because I know people will want to read this later and remember what I talked about @portentint
  • COLORS USED RANDOMLY @portentint
  • COLORS USED RANDOMLY @portentint
  • COLORS USED RANDOMLY Why? Use colors to delineate sections or different ideas @portentint
  • F-BOMB!!!! SWEARING! AUDIENCE LAUGHS, SO ILL DO IT MORE!!! Not recommended,unless you can really pull it off and have the right audience. The audience often laughs because theyre uncomfortable with you swearing like a sailor.
  • OOOOH, AAAH, ANIMATED TEXT Please, no. Ask: Does it serve a communications purpose? No? Forget it.