PRACTICE GUIDE Changing Sexual Identity

SLRC TRIMESTER 1 MODULE 10

PRACTICE GUIDE Changing Sexual Identity

T1M10 Practice Guide 2

Changing Sexual Identity Practices

Transforming Your Identity

Choose the identity that would most fulfil your desires 1. Write down all your desires.

2. Look at all your desires and especially the desires that you really want, and

ask yourself:

• Who would I need to be to most effortlessly have these?

• What identity would get me these desires in the quickest fashion?

3. Then embody and create that identity as being real inside of you.

Corresponding shadow identity

The next step is to choose and inhabit the corresponding shadow identity -

basically the opposite of your desired identity.

For example:

• Victim – perpetrator

• Queen – servant

• Yin – yang

• Abundant – poor

Do this, because if you try hard to get your desired identity but are scared of the

opposing identity, it can cause a blockage or imbalance.

Feel into which identity you feel is the shadow identity - this is subjective to

what you feel and believe the shadow identity is.

For example, if you choose:

• Love – the shadow identity can be fear, hate, contraction

• Success – failure, loser

Copyright 2018, Truth and Love Coaching, LLC - All Rights Reserved.


Shadow work - from The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford

1. Find where you have the shadow identity within you.

2. Look for places where you have exhibited it in your life.

3. If you haven't expressed it, for example: the murder identity, then search for

the potential situation and imagine the situation and potential for

expressing it.

4. Feel into what this shadow identity can teach you or potentially teach you.

For example:

• Being a failure – compassion, tenacity

• Scum of the earth – humility, empathy

5. See that gift.

6. Own it and feel it inside of you: “I am a XX” and you can say this looking in

the mirror to add to it.

7. What if it becomes true?

When you own it, don’t resist it and are not afraid of it, it empowers you. You are

at peace with it, and it doesn’t control you. It liberates you when you are truly at

peace with it.

Owning your shadow aspect doesn’t mean you’re going to become it. On the

contrary, it reduces its expression in your life. It allows you to not take it so

seriously and enjoy it if it does arrive.

Five senses activated reality

If you were to fully express and inhabit your desired identity, what would your

life look, feel, smell, taste and sound like?

Make it real to your mind, because when you visualize it, your brain doesn't

know if it’s real or not. When you visualize and activate the five senses, you are

actually making it real to your primal brain and reality. This is a powerful way to

get things and to inhabit the resonance of what you what. It alerts your body/

mind to activate and take action towards your goals and desired reality.



Body scan technique

Next, do the body scan technique. As you create and inhabit this five senses

reality and take on the identity, scan your body and look for places of:

• Rejection

• Contraction

• Blocking

• Numbness or silence

Then, go in and find who is doing that.

Usually, it’s a false self trying to protect you from a deeper, unrealized fear or

objection around getting it. The false self tells you that you won’t love, feel safe

or belong if you were to have this in your life.

As you scan your body:

• Look for things such as:

• Where am I feeling this?

• What are my sensations associated with this?

• Then, become that piece of you:

• Switch your focus and conscious awareness to becoming this.

• You’ll find out… who, what, why…

When you find out who or what it is, you will also realize what it’s trying to do.

And you can see that’s a form of a protective coping mechanism, for example:

• Sub-personality

• Inner child

Once you have this information, you can:

• Either leave it in place and offer it love, compassion, acceptance, etc.

• Give it an alternate function or different role

Having objection and desire at the same time

The final step is to check in and explore whether it’s possible to have your

desired

identity and whatever this objection is worried about that it will give you.



For example:

• Be a queen of the world – be loved

• Be a queen of the world – be safe

If you get a “no,” then you can explore this a little bit deeper by questioning the

truth of your belief system. This work is inspired by Byron Katie’s The Work.

Key Questions:

• Is it always true that I would never be X as the [desired identity]?

• Can I know for sure, every single time, that I would never have X if I were

[desired identity]?

This exploration of your belief systems helps you realize where some

experiences or messages that you have internalized as universal truths aren’t

always true. This will show that belief system you have created isn’t true and you

can loosen up.

Finally, you want to allow yourself to feel the two things together:

• Being a queen – knowing that you can be loved


Help anchor this by doing:

• Mirror work

• Affirmations - I am X, I am X

• Experience the emotions and felt-sense of this identity

• Adopt body posture

This makes it real on all parts internally in your nervous system. It’s a powerful

process for both choosing and embodying a new identity!



Sex Magic

This is a super powerful process, originating from Margo Anand, the

grandmother of the Tantric traditions in the West.

In sex magic, you use your turn-on, sexual energy and pleasure. You bring it

through each of the chakras, letting it evolve and become more refined, all the

way to the crown of the head and let it out to the universe while feeling that

you already have this thing. But, in my opinion, adding the five senses reality to

this lest step adds another level of power as the reality becomes even more real.

At this last step, you can also orgasm or climax, if you are feeling peak pleasure,

but it is not necessary as you can also work with turned-on energy, feeling good

or positivity inside.

After you have sent it out into the universe, bring it back down your body and

let it manifest and become real in your body.

When you do sex magic, you want to make sure you are in a good, positive

state.

If you feel negative or blocked, then don’t do the sex magic process and try

again when you can use high vibration energy in the process.

Your energy doesn’t have to be hot or passionate or orgasmic, it can be:

• Peaceful energy

• Loving energy

• Deep pleasurable energy that isn’t that “hot”

• High vibration energy



Why sex magic is so effective and powerful:

1. Using sexual energy – lifting your body into a high vibration state

2. Moving energy through every single part of your body, meaning you are

lighting up different parts of your brain and nervous system – getting a fully

integrated and communicative space

3. Creating ritual – speaking to your primal mind, since your unconscious mind

is the most powerful piece when it comes to having what you want. If your

primal mind is on lock down or not letting you have it - you’re not gonna get

it.

4. Five senses visualization about having what you want, you make it real –

telling your primal mind it is real and you imprint this narrative – your primal

mind will listen

5. Sexual state = high vibration state – imprinting your deep mind with a road

map of what to create and focus on makes it easier to take action!

6. You subconscious and unconscious mind will be on board with what you

want.

7. You bring yourself into deep alignment.


1. When you are in this state and in your five senses reality and you own that

identity, make it present time - the most powerful signal to your primal

mind.

• Before the sex magic process, check in with yourself:

• Is having what I desire in alignment with my north star?

• North star = your overarching sense of goodness, alignment and justice

in the universe and reality. For example: the highest good, divinity, the

universe, God or Goddess, love, etc.

• Check in - if my identity is to be the Queen of the world, is that in

alignment with the highest good? Feel a yes or no.

• Your north star is unique and individual to you.

2. If you get yes, then move forward. If you get a no, find out about the

objection and find alignment.



3. The intention of how you get it is less important for identity but important

when you work with goals and desires.

• For example: To get my desire in a peaceful way, with passion and

pleasure, or with the good of all people

• Do this as a pre-ritual heading into the experience, so you know what

works for you and can totally say yes and feel good about getting what

you’re asking for.


PRACTICE GUIDE Changing Sexual Identity

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