Power,agility and wicked environments

Who am I

Caoilte Dunne

Who Am IRaised by a strong woman who taught me respect for women.

Married a strong woman who teaches me humility all the time.

I believe that men and women are equally capable.

I believe that women live in a society that is sexist.

4 years ago ….

It did not go well ...Poor post-project reviews

Both included very strong negative sentiments from women in my team.

Unfortunately This was part of a pattern

I was effective…

Passionate Opinionated Strong Willed

Was I effective..?

Bruised EgosConflictStress

Rightly I was moved sideways

Luckily , this time ,I took notice …

and became interested in power equalization in teams

Setting some expectations

Drill down even further : power in teams

Jack Alex Bob

Mary Sue Robin

Courtney

Power In teams during meetings

Jack

AlexBob

Mary Sue Robin

Courtney

Which ideas are implemented, which are discarded and which are never suggested...

That’s where power in teams comes into play.

For in meetings ...

What will I be covering

1. Teams2. Power3. Wicked Environments4. Pre- meeting5. In the meeting6. How to nudge your team

1. Teams

What is a team?

GOAL

Xander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

What makes a great team

Psychological Safety

Xander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

Anya puts out a Challenge to groups status quoXander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

Not BulliedXander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

Not Laughed atXander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

Not ostracizedXander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

Never made to feel like shitXander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

OK - you can talk with safety What else

Ensure Everyone has their say

Xander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

Not just the assertive

Xander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

Everyone !

Xander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

Power

How people who wield power see themselves:

How other people see them:

First let’s look at Hard Power

What’s it sourceRather dispiritingly - it’s your job title.

Hard power is given to you from the norms of authority in your culture and your position in your organization

Hard power - types

Legitimate Power - being a bossReward Power - promise of / giving of something niceCoercive power - promise of / giving of something bad

Soft power

What’s it sourceIts intrinsicWhat you knowWho you knowHow people view you

Soft power - types

Informational Power -Knowing context Expert Power - Applying theory and practiceReferent power - Being liked/Respected

So who loses out?

Everyone involved

Xander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

Xander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

Xander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

The team is

● Less Physiologically safe

● Less likely to get everybody's point of view

Xander Willow Giles

Anya Dawn Tara

Buffy

The way to avoid this is

Is not to focus on the act of being powerful

But to focus on empoweringyourself and your team.

Empowering - Your style

Empowering - Choice

Wicked Environments

It seems nice

Until ...

Different learning

Flips the lever a lot

Has learnt not to

The wrong lesson

Ends up having heart disease

End ups dying of starvation

You are in a Wicked environment

Your Wicked Environment

This has happened

This has happened

This has happened

This has happened

Not everybody is effected the same way

Think of it as a slope

DominancePassive

BehaviourBehaviour

LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception

DominancePassive

BehaviourBehaviour

LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception

PassivePolitical Maneuvering

Making decisions outside of meetings

indirect expression of hostility (I.e passive aggression)

Triangulation (uniting in dislike )

Silence over conflict

DominanceNot listening

Speaking at length

Emotional radiation

Interrupting

Condescending

Overrides conflict

Ridicules other points of view

Some people don’t notice the slope

Some people are not affected by the slope

Some people do and some people areHowever

You have a bias to passive behaviour or dominant behaviour

We all have

Dominance

PassiveBehaviour

Behaviour

LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception

Expert Power was/is my drug of choice.

I had no idea.

I thought it was a good thing...

But the effect remained the same:

Dominance

PassiveBehaviour

Behaviour

LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception

AwarenessChange has occurred when one becomes aware

From Awareness comes deliberate action for behavioural change

DominancePassive

BehaviourBehaviour

LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception

DominancePassive

BehaviourBehaviour

LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception

DominancePassive

BehaviourBehaviour

LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception

Quick recap

Both women and men are given poor lessons about powerUsing power works against

Physiological safetyEveryone having their say

So what can we do

Let’s have some focus

Before the meeting

During the meeting

We are going to cover

It about choiceYour style

Your Choice

You will notice they are not suddenStructure

and

Intent.

You know best

Before any meeting

You have space and time.

This is the long game

All the time

Build rapportBe interested in other people

Listen to your team

Take the time to understand

Master your self talkMake sure you value your own opinion

Brave is overcoming fear not its absence.

Fake it till you make it

Culture of ideasSuspended Judgement

Valuing Diversity

From P.C to respect

Agree how your team make decisionsWho makes decisions

Majority (50% , 75%)

Silence is not consent

Group NormsExternalise Values/Mindset

Highlight power equalization

Practical Concerns

Before the meeting

You have a focus

You have a place

You have a time

All the time

Known meeting

Facilitate the meeting (before)Ensure agenda is sent ahead of time

Structure the meeting

Work with people before handFor the less outspokenensure they know why they are invited

For alphas let themselves expel energy now as opposed to in the meeting

Check your imposter syndrome

Compare yourself fairly

You deserve the role you have

You deserve self respect

Do what you need to be confidentPower poses before meetings

Meditation /Mindfulness

Visualize

Know your goal going in

You're there for a reason

Determine how much guff you can put up with

Write what you want to say beforehandGive yourself space

Give yourself time

Give yourself permission

In a Meeting

All the time

Known meeting

In a Meeting - Not giving away your power

How to ensure you are active - participating in the meeting.

The team needs your point of view

All the time

Known meeting

Facilitate your meetings (during)

Ensure structure

Echo , Paraphrase

Bring in the reluctant voices

A ‘Round’ before discussion

Go a-round the table

Everybody states their initial position

No interruptions

Agree when someone says your point before youAmplification

Make yourself part of the conversation

Get your position out early

People who talk early have more influence

Before the alpha takes control

Before the alphas make it about them

Don’t “Vague” it up

Be aware of qualifying language

‘Sorry’ , ‘Perhaps’ , ‘just a thought’

Don’t swamp your awesome point with weakness

Before you commit to a task ensure it is your roleThe ‘administrative’ stereotype exists

The ‘Mom’ stereotype exists

Suggest task rotation

Not letting your power be taken

When someone wants their way at the expense of the group.

When someone makes you not matter

All the time

Known meeting

Treat new ideas as experiments

Awesome for limiting expert power

Very effective because it focuses on impact

Have more than one option

Get away from rail roading

Other options come from somewhere

Nominate someone as devil's advocatepermission is given to be critical.

Dissenting point of view becomes required.

Include when challenged

Ask for solutions from the challenger

“What should we do differently”

Lift up other women

Sometimes you need that support.

So give it.

Practice your script

When you are interrupted

When you are dismissed

When someone takes your idea

Know your limits

When you are objectified

When you are passed over

When you bullied

So lots there !

Before any meeting

● Build rapport● Master your self talk● Culture of ideas● Agree how your team make

decisions● Group Norms

All the time

Before any meeting

● Facilitate the meeting (before)● Work with people before hand● Check your imposter syndrome ● Do what you need to be

confident● Know your goal going in● Write what you want to say

beforehand

All the time

All the time

Known meeting

In a Meeting - Not giving away your power

All the time

Known meeting

● Facilitate your meetings (during)

● A ‘Round’ before discussion ● Agree when someone says

your point before you● Get your position out early● Don’t “Vague” it up● Before you commit to a

task ensure it is your role

In a Meeting - Not letting your power be taken

All the time

Known meeting

● Treat new ideas as experiments

● Have more than one option● Nominate someone as

devil's advocate● Include when challenged● Lift up other women● Practice your script● Know your limits

How to nudge your team

Some ideas you might have heard recently… Build rapport

Treat all new ideas as experiments

Facilitate your meetings

Start with the whyPhysiological Safety

Everyone giving their view

Increased quality of ideas

Create a commonality of interestAgree (with what you can)

Build ( On what's shared)

Compare (the differences)

Gauge the AwarenessHow self aware is your team's alpha ?

How self aware are you ?

Don’t let someone else be the enabler of your value

You get what you tolerate

So lots to do ....

How to nudge yourself

You're always fighting the wicked environment

But eventually it will come down to you embracing change

Your mindset , Your behaviours , your self talk.

I know this because I have been attempting to change for a while

To be an asset rather than a liability to my team

I have discovered change is hard.

But not Impossible !

The slope can helpWoman leaders on average

are “more likely to be democratic, collaborative, and participative”

Which leads to ….Psychological Safety

Everyone having their say

I.e Great teamsWhich means you get to be the great leaders of the 21 century.

In summary:

● Treat meeting with respect ● If you talk too much - talk less, talk last.● If you never speak, the team needs you

to speak up.

It's in your hands

No really

Change is hard - not impossible

ReferencesFacilitator’s guide to participatory decision-making - Sam KanerTeamwork is an Individual skill - Christopher M AveryGroup Dynamics for Teams - Daniel LeviCrucial Conversations - Patterson , Grenny , McMillan ,Switzler

Thanks to Kirsty , Sol , Dom ,Erin ,Nuz and Paula Felicity , Iseult , Helen and TanyaAnd as always My Girl

ReferencesVarious resources about gender and meetinghttp://time.com/money/4450406/men-interrupt-talk-more/http://time.com/4206660/hillary-clinton-sexism-shrill-yelling/https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2016/09/13/white-house-women-are-now-in-the-room-where-it-happens/https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=enhttp://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politics/2016/1008/How-women-lead-differentlypsychological safety and googlehttp://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/28/magazine/what-google-learned-from-its-quest-to-build-the-perfect-team.htmPowerhttps://hbr.org/2016/10/dont-let-power-corrupt-youSelf Talkhttps://melissaambrosini.com/wealth/7-things-you-must-stop-letting-your-mean-girl-tell-you/Imposter syndromehttp://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2014/04/03/impostor-syndrome

Twitter : @CaoilteDunneLinkedIn : CaoilteDunneSlideshare : http://www.slideshare.net/caoiltedunne/poweragilty-and-wicked-enviroments

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