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Positive Leadership Chapter 2

Leadership begins with self

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Purpose and Outcomes

Purpose: To increase your understanding of authenticity, its role in

effective leadership, and its ability to amplify social force.

Intended outcome: This chapter prompts reflection on your

authentic self and inspires you to choose actions that increase your

capacity for being authentic.

Authenticity

“We can keep ourselves so busy, fill our lives with so many diversions, stuff our heads

with so much knowledge, involve ourselves with so many people and cover so much

ground that we never have time to probe the fearful and wonderful world within. By

middle life most of us are accomplished fugitives from ourselves.”

~John W. Gardner

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Self Assessment Please rate yourself for each of the following items on the 1-7scale (1=no, 7=yes).

1. I fulfill various roles in my life by being essentially the same person in each role.

2. I am comfortable resisting pressure to conform.

3. I am aware of the gaps between how others see me and how I see myself.

4. Other people feel comfortable being themselves with me.

5. I reliably assess situations and relationships that allow and/or inhibit me to be my true self.

6. I consistently look at myself for opportunities to improve and create action steps.

7. My current life situation (i.e. career, relationships, etc.) accurately reflects my true self.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

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Who can share a speak up or sell out moment?

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In teams of 3…

Must be at least one male and one female

No one from your carpool or ropes team at the retreat

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How do you assess someone else’s level of

authenticity?

How does your assessment shape how you

engage with that person?

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The Essence of Positive Leadership: positive actions evoke positive reactions

To understand authenticity, let’s talk about what is not authenticity:

• What makes you say someone is not being authentic?

• What impact does it have on you when you believe someone is

not being authentic?

• What reasons might someone have for not being authentic?

Authenticity

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Authenticity

• Authenticity: When someone says what’s

true for them in a way that allows others

to say what’s true for them as well

• Sincerity: When what someone says

matches what they really think.

• When might this not be such a good

thing?

• Pretense: When what we say does not

match what we truly think or feel.

• Why might someone be in pretense?

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4 Ways Authenticity Increases Social Force

1. People have a visceral response to authenticity

2. Credibility rises to the degree one is viewed as authentic

3. Authentic people foster authenticity in others

4. Authenticity increases your level of engagement

Authenticity

Want to see an example of this?

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• Most things I read define authenticity as “Being who you truly are.”

• Is that a helpful definition? Why or why not?

• I find it to not be very helpful. In fact, it sounds rather circular.

• Instead, let’s think of authenticity as made up of 4 elements

• Self Knowledge

• Self Acceptance

• Self Development

• Self Assertion

Authenticity

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Principle 1: Self-knowledge

What is self-knowledge?

How is it acquired?

Is it difficult to have self-knowledge? Why or why not?

What inhibits self-knowledge?

What increases self-knowledge?

Authenticity

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Principle 2: Self-Acceptance

How would you define self-acceptance?

What’s the relationship between self-knowledge and

self-acceptance?

What makes self-acceptance difficult?

What increases self-acceptance?

Can self acceptance be a negative thing?

Authenticity

“Self-knowledge! All my study of happiness, and

habits, brings me continually to the challenge of self-

knowledge. It sounds so easy— after all, I hang out

with myself all day long— but it’s tremendously

challenging. Every day, I remind myself to be

Gretchen, to accept myself and also expect more

from myself.” Gretchen Rubin, author of The

Happiness Project

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Principle 3: Self-Development

What does self-development mean?

Is it easy or difficult? Why?

Who helps you with self-development?

When you see an area to develop, do you

automatically jump on it?

What is the impact of leaders that do not develop

themselves?

What development have you noticed in yourself in

the last year?

Authenticity

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Principle 4: Self-Assertion

What is self-assertion?

What does this have to do with

leadership?

When do you assert yourself and when

do you hold yourself back?

How do the previous 3 principles (self

knowledge, acceptance and

development) relate to self-assertion?

What happens when people assert

themselves without the previous 3?

Authenticity

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Passive Assertive Aggressive

What does it mean to be passive?

What does it mean to be aggressive?

What is assertiveness?

How do each relate to social force?

Authenticity

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Authenticity Inhibitors

1. Other people’s truths

2. Desire to please others

3. Self doubt

4. False ideas about yourself

5. Absence of introspection

6. Life’s little trappings

Authenticity

Question: Are there any others you would add?

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Self development: the Richard Boyatzis Model

In a book called Primal Leadership, the authors, Daniel Goleman, Richard

Boyatzis, and Annie Mackee describe a process for Self-Directed Learning

that leads to five discoveries:

Discovery 1: My ideal self—Who do I want to be?

Discovery 2: My real self—Who am I? My strengths: Where my idea and real

self overlap. My gaps: Where my idea and real self differ

Discovery 3: My learning agenda: Building on my strengths while reducing

gaps

Discovery 4: Experimenting with new behavior, thoughts and feelings.

Practicing the new behavior building new neural pathways through to mastery.

Discovery 5: Developing trusting relationships that help, support and

encourage each step in the process.

authenticity positiveleadership.com

Introduction: Positive Leadership

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Authenticity2

Purpose3

Advocacy4

Resilience 5

Community Building6

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Reason

Gratitude

9 Conclusion

Developing your capacities increases your social force: become a technician

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The Positive Leadership Model

introduction