Pope,G - The Family Cloister

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Crescent Hill Baptist Church

Louisville, Kentucky

Childrens Sabbath

Pentecost 26

November 9, 2008

W. Gregory Pope

SERIES: The New Monasticism

THE FAMILY CLOISTER

Childrens Sabbath

Joshua 24:1-3a, 14-25; Psalm 78:1-7;

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18; Matthew 25:1-13

Adult Moment: The Family Cloister (I)

I want to ask everyone who has a child under 18 living in their home - parents, grandparent, aunt, uncle,

guardian - to come down to the front for an adult moment.

We have spent this Fall looking at monastic spirituality as a model for our own spirituality and our life

together as a congregation.

This morning I want us to think about our homes as monasteries, as family cloisters, places that nurture us

as persons. One woman recently published a book entitledMy Monastery is a Minivan because thats

where she spends most of her time with her kids running them from one place to another. And when she

stopped to think about it, she realized some holy things happened even in her minivan.

Sometimes we may feel as if we are trapped in a cloister like a minivan or even our homes. We haveduties and people we cannot escape. But I want us to take a moment together and think about how we can

make our homes healthy places of growth and love for ourselves and our children. I also have a handout

to give you that you can read and use as a guide. And a little later, Im going to be talking to your kids

about what they can do to help.

The Kentucky monk Thomas Merton said we are all beginners at prayer. Always we begin again. Today I

want to give you that gift as parents.

No matter how old our children are, most of us look back at mistakes weve made and wish we could do

some things over. I dont know that any of us would want to start parenting over completely, but all of us Ithink would like a few do-overs. But parenting is on-the-job training.

And this morning I want you to give yourself permission to receive a fresh start, especially when it comes

to some spiritual practices within your home. Your kids might think its a little weird. It may even seem

odd to you. But if as a congregation we could support one another in making our homes a place of

spiritual formation, I think we would be more satisfied with our task as parents.

Our scripture lesson this morning from the psalms commands us to teach our children the ways of God, to

tell them what God has done in our lives. And they are to teach their children. The psalmist says that the

purpose in teaching our children Gods commandments is so they will set their hope in God.

It can be hard to be a kid. And as you know, some things get even harder as you become an adult. It can

be easy to lose hope.

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(Give handout)

This handout that Im giving you is based on a book by David Robinson, an Oregon pastor, entitled The

Family Cloister: Benedictine Wisdom for the Home. Just as I have been taking The Rule of Benedict and

seeking to apply it to our life as a church, Robinson has taken Benedicts Rule and sought to apply it to

the home.

I ask that you as parents talk about this together and then with your children, and perhaps even create a

Rule of Life for your family.

I have been the abbot this Fall. The abbot is a symbol of Christ in a monastery. In the home you are the

abbot. You represent Christ to your children.

Benedict instructs abbots to point out to the monks all that is good and holy more by example than by

words.

There is no do as I say not as I do. But rather we say to our children, Live as I live and learn from my

mistakes.

I encourage you Tuesday through Friday to use the daily Bible readings that follow the lectionary, the

texts we will be using in worship that week. (Give them a copy). And then on Monday, talk about the

previous Sunday.

And to those of you adults who do not have children living in your house, you can help in this place, in

this larger family of God, teaching children in Sunday School, or loving them in the way that you talk to

them, or supporting our ministries to children as you give.

Let us all take seriously scriptures call to teach our children the ways of God.

Lets pray.

(Pray for our children. Pray for ourselves as parents.)

Sermon for Children: The Family Cloister (II)

How many of you kids think your parents could use some help in how to be a parent? Anybody here got

perfect parents? (No, there are no perfect parents. Only God is the perfect parent of us all.)

All parents need help. Im a parent and I know I could use some help.

When we had our adult moment a few minutes ago I gave them some information with ideas about how

they could become better parents.

Right now I want to talk with you about what you can do to help make your parents better parents, and

what you can do to make your home a better place.

Anybody here feel that its tough to be a kid - to obey your parents, get good grades in school, clean up

your room, doing chores? It is hard some times.

But Ive been a kid (I still act like one at times) and Im a parent right now of three children, and I can tellyou that being a parent is much harder than being a kid. It really is.

Thats why Ive given your parents some information that I hope they will choose to share with you.


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What I want to ask you to do is take what they say seriously and to offer your ideas as to what can make

you a better family.

Think about what you can be responsible for in your home that would help.

Lets say for example, youre 15 or 11, and your parents have gone crazy and now a 3-year-old lives in

your house. They may need your help parenting the 3-year-old or doing things they dont have time to do.

Or your parents may need to help take care of their parents, and you can help by doing things around the

house.

It takes everybody in the family to make a house a loving home.

Your parents have a huge responsibility to take care of you. They are responsible to God for what they

teach you and how they live before you. And all parents make mistakes. And this morning Ive cut them

some slack and given myself some slack, because God cuts us all some slack - its called grace. God

forgives our mistakes, those things we have failed to do as parents and as children, and gives us a fresh

start.

And this morning I want all of our families to have a fresh start. In some ways to begin again. And I want

you to listen well to your parents, and I want your parents to listen to you, as each person in your family

talks about how to make your family better.

Would you promise to do that for me? All right. Lets pray.

(Pray for our parents. Pray for ourselves as children.)

Handout to Parents

Based on the book by David Robinson,

The Family Cloister: Benedictine Wisdom for the Home

FAMILY SPIRITUALITY

The family as the primary place for the shaping of a child - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

We are sometimes tempted to leave all spiritual formation to the church.

But I want to encourage you as parents to take on some of that responsibility yourself.

As parents we are called to guide their spiritual development.

Ask yourself:

What kind of person do I want my child to become? And what am I doing to help shape that kind of

person?

Am I teaching them they can have whatever they want? Or that there are limits?

Is their money/allowance for them to spend however they want? Or should we provide guidance and

limitations on what they buy?

How are we embodying the simplicity of Jesus?


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A good place to start with the answer as to what kind of person you want your child to become is found in

Galatians 5 and the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness,

faithfulness, self-control. And seek to teach them and guide them in those ways, allowing the Spirit to

nurture those things in our children. And it begins by embodying them ourselves.

Teach them Benedicts ladder of humility we talked about a few weeks ago (September 28 sermon. There

are copies in the office and the narthex and online.)

Read the Bible daily together. Tuesdays through Fridays you may want to use the lectionary texts we will

be using in worship that week. And then on Mondays talk about what they heard at church the previous

day.

FAMILY DISCIPLINE

Every family needs rules and guidelines, knowing what is expected of them.

When we ignore the mistakes and poor choices of our children we are like a gardener ignoring weeds in

the garden.

Work on a set of guidelines for your family. This could be something you could sit down together and

work out. As a monastery has a Rule of Life, so could our families.

Work on ways to share responsibility in your home.

Limit time on phone, TV, computer, ipod for children and parents.

FAMILY HEALTH

It matters how we treat our bodies.

Pay attention to your diet and eat well.

Exercise as a family if possible.

FAMILY LIFE TOGETHER

Have a family schedule

Do stuff together

Play together

Talking about your life together, even your finances and your budget

FAMILY HOSPITALITY

Shape the home as a hospitable place for each other

Shape the home as a place of hospitality for others, making others (strangers, those in need) welcome in

your home.

Make your home a welcome place for those children and parents whose families are broken.


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FAMILY GROWTH

Understanding the home as a place of spiritual formation.

Are we growing more Christlike in our home?

Learn to confess to one another and to forgive one another.

Are we growing in our service and love to one another?

What can we do in our families to grow stronger and healthier?

Make some commitments as a family in all these areas.

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CRESCENT HILL BAPTIST CHURCH

2800 Frankfort AvenueLouisville, Kentucky 40206

(502) 896-4425

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