PoPE Newsletter Prince of Peace Ev. Lutheran Church 330...

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PoPE Newsletter is published monthly by Prince of Peace Ev. Lutheran Church 3355 Medina Rd Medina, OH 44256 Phone: 330-723-8293 Fax: 330-721-6844 Email: [email protected] Web site: www.popelutheran.org Worship Services: 8:00AM & 10:45AM Sunday School & Bible Study: 9:30AM Daniel Haberkost, Pastor = 330-723-8293 Ext. 105 Ron Rieger, Associate Pastor = 330-723-8293 Ext. 102 Greg A. Wadel, Pastoral Assistant = 330-723-8293 Ext. 103 Bonnie Jurrus, Office Mgr./Secy. = 330-723-8293 Ext. 101 Wynne Kenat, Parish Nurse = 330-723-8293 Ext. 104

Transcript of PoPE Newsletter Prince of Peace Ev. Lutheran Church 330...

PoPE Newsletter is published monthly by

Prince of Peace Ev. Lutheran Church 3355 Medina Rd

Medina, OH 44256 Phone: 330-723-8293

Fax: 330-721-6844 Email: [email protected]

Web site: www.popelutheran.org

Worship Services: 8:00AM & 10:45AM Sunday School & Bible Study: 9:30AM

Daniel Haberkost, Pastor = 330-723-8293 Ext. 105

Ron Rieger, Associate Pastor = 330-723-8293 Ext. 102

Greg A. Wadel, Pastoral Assistant = 330-723-8293 Ext. 103

Bonnie Jurrus, Office Mgr./Secy. = 330-723-8293 Ext. 101

Wynne Kenat, Parish Nurse = 330-723-8293 Ext. 104

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Prince of Peace Monthly Newsletter

SEPTEMBER, 2014

My brothers & sisters in Christ,

We are all creatures of habit. Tell me, who among us does not like to have a nice comfortable routine in life? Who among us does not have an old coat or pair of jeans or shoes that are so comfortable that we just love to wear them? Who among us doesn’t like to get together with old friends, rather than meeting complete strangers? You see, we like our habits – these become our “Comfort Zone.” And after 50 years, we at Prince of Peace have established some Comfort Zones.

Now, there is nothing wrong with having a Comfort Zone. In fact, we all need this zone to give us a break from the many toils and troubles of the daily rat race. But, imagine if we always stayed in our Comfort Zone. If we always wore those same comfortable pair of shoes, they would eventually wear out completely. If we always met with old friends, we would never have the opportunity to meet new friends with different interests and backgrounds. You see, having a Comfort Zone is alright, as long as we keep it in proportion to the rest of our lives.

This month, I would like you to think about your Spiritual Comfort Zone. Do you attend the same service every week? Do you sit in the same pew every Sunday? Do you talk with the same people at church every week? Do you read your daily devotion without really thinking about the power contained in the Words you are reading? Do you say you are “too busy” to actually put your faith into action outside Prince of Peace? I have to confess that, being a creature of habit, I have to answer YES to each of these questions. It is very easy to get nice and

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

Page #

Pastor’s Letter

Confirmation Schedule

Health Hints

BASIC-50/

Bible Study Opportunity

Bd. of Fellowship/ Bd. of Social Min

Bd. of Discipleship

Bd. of Stewardship/ Book Club

Making Music for the Lord

Bike for Island Mission/Thrivent

Birthdays

Master Calendar

Lutheran Hour

A Play on Words

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cozy in our Spiritual Comfort Zone, isn’t it? Well, think about it from the perspective of our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. What if He had stayed in His Comfort Zone? What if He had stayed with His Father in heaven and never became a man and gave His life for our sins? Where would we be today? Stuck in a world of sin and death with no HOPE. You see, we are saved because His Love was so strong, that He gave up His comforts to come down and save His people – YOU & ME! And, as His Disciples, each one of us is also called to do the same. Jesus says “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross DAILY and follow me.” – Luke 9:23 Jesus is telling us to get out of our Comfort Zones and take some risks for Him, like He did for us. As we celebrate our 50th Anniversary this year, I challenge each of you to DAILY extend yourself beyond your Comfort Zone. There are many ways to step outside your zone:

Sit in a different part of the church and greet people you do not really know Sign up to support Operation Homes, Cristiana Iglesia, Building Hope in the City or

the Thrivent Builds Mission trip to South Carolina Give an additional percent of your income in faith to our Savior by supporting an

international missionary Commit to openly talk about your Christian faith to a neighbor, co-worker or store

clerk at least once a week When you take risks in faith, Jesus WILL reward you! Our Faith is a Faith of Action, not simply words. Remember, the Holy Spirit is with you every minute of every day so you are never outside of God’s Comfort Zone. Continue to trust in Him and He will bless you as you venture outside the Comfort Zone! In Christ’s Name!

Greg

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2014-2015 CONFIRMATION CLASS COMING in September

If your child is in 7th or 8th Grade and you would like them to be part of our Confirmation Program this year, please call the Church Office and let us know you are interested. An information package will be sent to your home.

Confirmation classes will be on Monday evenings 6:30-8:00p.m on the dates listed below. We will begin the year with a 45 minute Parent & Student Orientation on Monday September 15th at 6:30pm.

Monday evening classes will not be held during Advent but will be held during Lent. Therefore, the specific class dates are as follows: Date Topic Date Topic Sep 15 Parents & Students

Orientation Jan 05 2015 Lord’s Prayer – Intro &

Petition 1 Sep 22 Intro to Catechism Jan 12 Lord’s Prayer – Petitions 2-

4 Sep 29 Apostles’ Creed

Intro Jan 19 Lord’s Prayer – Petitions 5-

7 Oct 06 Apostles’ Creed – 1st

Part Jan 26 Lord’s Prayer – Closing

Oct 13 Apostles’ Creed – 2nd Part

Feb 02 Baptism

Oct 20 Apostles’ Creed – 2nd Part

Feb 09 Baptism

Oct 27 Apostles’ Creed – 2nd Part

Feb 16 Confession & Office of the Keys

Nov 03 Apostles’ Creed – 3rd Part

Feb 23 Holy Communion

Nov 10 Apostles’ Creed – 3rd Part

Mar 02 Holy Communion

Nov 17 Test #1 Mar 09 Practice Speeches OFF-December CHRISTMAS

BREAK SUNDAY Mar 15th

SPEECH SUNDAY

SUNDAY Mar 22rd

CONFIRMATION SUNDAY!

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HEALTH HINTS – Wynne Kenat, Parish Nurse As we face the often hectic fall, it seems timely to consider our spiritual health. What is spiritual health? We read in Genesis 2:7 that God formed man as he "breathed into his

nostrils the breath of life." Our real essence consists of our spiritual dimension---that which reflects the "breath" of God. Spirituality is based on dependence on God and concerns this relationship with God, others, self, the environment, and our past, present, and future. Spiritual health exists when these relationships are in balance and support one another.

How can we nourish our spiritual health? Just like our bodies, our spirits need special care and feeding in order to stay healthy. Romans 12, provides a helpful outline for nourishing our spiritual health. First, and most importantly, we need to improve ourselves in a life of worship. Since we were created in His image, nourishing our relationship with God is the basis of all health. Second, we are encouraged to develop an understanding of ourselves. A strong sense of self is consistent with God's perspective of a healthy life. Third, we must nourish our relationship with others. Paul uses the symbol of the body to remind us that all of us are important parts of the Body of Christ. Our spirituality is made visible when we live a life that reflects Christ's love for all people. Fourth, in our world, we can live a life of peacemaking. We are able to conquer evil when we reflect the love of Jesus every day. Following God's perspective helps us life a life of peace and joy. "We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may

understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by

human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual

words." 1 Corinthians 2:12-13

(Adapted from "Healthful Hints Volume 2")

**Monday Evening Women’s Bible Study will start Sept. 22nd at 6:30PM. Sign-up sheet is in the Narthex. Book Title will be, “Women of the Bible”. Contact Wynne Kenat if you have any questions.

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BASIC 50- UPCOMING EVENTS On September 6th We will be going to Dover, OH. We will be going to the Warther Museum and to the Dutch Valley Restaurant for lunch. We will leave here from the church at 10AM. On October 18th BASIC 50 will sponsor a Vendor and Craft Fall Fair to raise funds for Living Water. The fair will be from 10 am – 4 p.m. Contracts are available in the narthex or see Karla Williams (330-635-3433) if you are interested in being a vendor, help with advertising, or to help in the snack bar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BIBLE STUDY OPPORTUNITY On Wednesday, September 3rd from 6:30-8:00 Pastor Haberkost will begin the class Basic Truths in Christianity where we will look at the basic teachings of Christianity. The class is intended for anyone but also for those who wish to become part of our fellowship or those who wish to explore The Scriptures. The class will run for six weeks, ending October 8, 2014.

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BOARD OF FELLOWSHIP – Next meeting September 9th at 7PM. SEPTEMBER COLLECTION - Military Support: We will collect items to be sent to service men and women. Items needed for care packages are DVDs and CDs, Video Games, iPods, Computer Flash Drives, Energy Bars, Beef Jerky, Healthy Snacks Lip Balm (with extra seal), roll-on deodorant; Dental Kits: toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, mouthwash (travel-size); Individually packaged razors; Pens; Sport Water Bottles

FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT - Saturday, September 6th at 7:00 pm. Come join us for a free family movie night as we will watch "Heaven Is For Real". Popcorn, snacks, and pop will be provided. CHURCH HISTORY NIGHT - Saturday, September 27th at 7:00 pm in Fellowship Hall. To help celebrate Prince of Peace's 50th Anniversary, we will be enjoying an evening of memories and reminiscing to celebrate the blessings God has given our church family over the years. We will be blessed by the presence of some original church members, including Terry Leu, who will share their memories. You will be able to view scrapbooks and fascinating photographs showing our church life and members over the years, including the church's beginnings. Coffee and dessert will be provided. HAYRIDE - Save the date... Saturday, October 4th, 5:00 pm at Richardson Farms in Lafayette Township. Hayride, pick-your-own-pumpkin, potluck supper, and bonfire w/ smores! Watch for the poster in the Narthex with sign-up and details!

*************************************************************** BOARD OF SOCIAL MINISTRY

OPERATION HOMES will be at Prince of Peace starting on Sept 29 through Oct. 6. There are many opportunities to live out your faith during the week, be it making a meal or dessert, eating with the guests or staying overnight. We have veteran volunteers to help you along the way! If you would like to help but the hours don’t line up with your schedule, please let us know and we can make arrangements. Feel free to talk to Greg or Kristin Ulm with any questions.

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NOISY OFFERINGS are the 4th Sunday of each month. Bring your change to help support local missions.

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BOARD OF DISCIPLESHIP - Which Path to choose? Many of us seek balance in our lives; find a path that works. Recent meditations and readings have brought to mind a series of words that I will call Path One and Path Two. Both have 21 words.

Words of Path One: Guilt, isolation, separation, frustration, doubt, hate, selfishness, greed, pride, violence, evil, weakness, rejection, disappointment, death, abuse, suffering, ego, discrimination, misunderstanding and anger. Kind of sounds like the evening news doesn’t it. This path is focused on self. Words of Path Two: Trust, faith, grace, hope, love, caring, sharing, relationships, honesty, listening, gifts, dedication, strength, forgiveness, confession, acceptance, promise, understanding, life, compassion and courage. Words we hear at Prince of Peace but can be heard or read almost anywhere if we listen carefully. This path is primarily focused on more than one person.

For most of us and definitely for me, I bounce back and forth between these two paths. It’s hard not to since none of us are perfect. If we spend too much time in the world, we rely on the world to tell us what is right or wrong and we can and often do move farther away from our relationship with God. If you feel far away from God, guess who moved? My desire and, I hope your desire, is to travel more often on Path Two. And with the help of God, not dwell on Path One for too long.

A reading from Proverbs 3: 5-6 in Pastor Ron’s Bible Study really helped me understand. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

What a comfort this passage gives me! Trust in Him. Could it really be that simple? Yes, I think so. Our discipleship team’s wish for you is to set aside time for Bible study, meditate on scripture, do God’s work, defend your faith and what you believe when talking to others, and make every effort to nurture your relationship with Him.

Our discipleship team Bible verse for our ministry is Ephesians 2:10. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God

prepared in advance for us to do.” God’s peace and blessing to you today and throughout the week. In His Service, Susan Little Discipleship Team leader

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BOARD OF STEWARDSHIP This devotion is taken from Our Daily Bread, August 22, 2014 LIVE IN LOVE, written by Dave Branon Please read Psalm 112 In the African country where my friend Roxanne lives, water is a precious commodity. People often have to travel long distances to collect water from small contaminated creeks--leading to sickness and death. it's difficult for organizations like orphanages and churches to serve the people because of a lack of water. But that's beginning to change. Through Roxanne's leadership and the unselfish gifts of some loving people in established churches, clean water wells are being dug. At least six new wells are now operational, allowing churches to be centers of hope and encouragement. A health center and a home for 700 orphans will also be able to be opened because of access to water. That's the kind of love that can flow from believers in Christ when we have experienced the love and generosity of God. Paul says in I Corinthians 13 that if we don't have love, our voices clang on people's ears and our faith means nothing. And the apostle John says that if we have material possessions and see others in need and take action, that's evidence that God's love is abiding in us (I John 3:16). God desires that we deal "graciously" with those in need, for His heart is gracious toward us.

Kindness is Christianity with its working clothes on. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BOOK CLUB FOR SEPTEMBER

In the Shadow of Blackbirds by Cat Winters will be the book discussion for September 15th at 5:30PM in the church library. Please bring your own food and beverage. This novel deals with 16 year old Mary Shelley Black who is dealing with the Spanish influenza, WWI and growing up in 1918.The book discussion will begin at 6:00 p.m. Everyone is invited.

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MAKING MUSIC FOR THE LORD SR CHOIR IS RESUMING FOR THE FALL: Come one and all! You don't have to read music or have choir experience to participate. We rehearse on Thursday evenings 7pm starting Thursday 9/4/14. We sing 2 Sundays/month early service, usually the 1st and 3rd Sundays but that can vary. We're having a Choir Picnic at The Schnabel's home on Sunday afternoon, Sept 7th, at 5 PM. Bring a side dish, salad, or dessert. BYOB. Please come and get to know us all a little better. If you have any questions/interest, please call Steve Kovach: 330-419-1863. CONTEMPORARY CHOIR IS RESUMING FOR THE FALL: Do you LOVE contemporary Christian music like you hear on 95.5 The Fish, K-Love, or AirOne? You can join us and sing along! You don't have to be able to read music or have choir experience. We enjoy singing some of the latest songs from Casting Crowns, Chris Tomlin, Matt Maher and Hillsong. **We have a new rehearsal night--TUESDAYS at 6pm - 6:45pm. We sing once a month at late service. We'll be starting rehearsals on Tues. Sept. 9th @ 6pm with the song "And All the People Said Amen" by Matt Maher. If you have any questions/interest, please call Steve Kovach: 330-419-1863.

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BIKE FOR SEA ISLAND MISSION

Bike for Sea Island Mission……… Last fall I started biking trails across Indiana’s rich farmland and completed 230 miles this spring. The farms looked prosperous, probably handed down from previous generations of family. My reason for biking was to help raise funds for the mission team going to Sea Island in South Carolina this November. Our team will be building simple but solid homes for needy families who are descendants of freed slaves, perhaps giving them a home that they can pass on to their families. If you are unable to be a part of the Habitat – Thrivent Builds team, please consider giving a donation for those who are going. Your funds will be matched by the Medina County Thrivent Chapter.

Please mark your donation “Bike for Mission” in the memo line and use the special envelopes so counters may direct them.

Thank you and keep the Sea Island mission team in your prayers, Beth Schnabel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THRIVENT Gain confidence in your financial future with an annual review A lot can happen in a year. The economy can fluctuate. Markets can swing up or down. Your personal and professional life can change. That’s why it’s important to schedule an annual financial review. A review usually takes less than an hour—and it’s worth every minute knowing that it can help you:

Evaluate life changes and events. This helps you see how things like getting married, having a baby, buying or selling a home, getting a new job or retiring can affect your current financial strategy.

Ensure your assets are protected by: o Reviewing your protection coverage. o Establishing an emergency savings fund. o Determining if you have the right insurance coverage in place, like disability

income insurance, to protect your income.

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Review your retirement strategy. Are you maximizing your retirement contributions? Does it make sense to consolidate your IRAs and 401(k)s? Will you have enough income to last throughout your retirement? Find out.

Assess your investments. This includes calculating the return on each of your stocks, bonds and mutual funds, and making sure you’re satisfied with their performance. It’s also important to ensure that your assets are diversified.1

Explore estate strategy options. If you want to protect your family and support the causes that are important to you, it’s essential to make sure your beneficiary information is current and the appropriate legal documents2 are in place.

Stay on track with your financial goals For more than 100 years, Thrivent Financial has been helping members be wise with money and live generously. A financial review can help you stay on track with your financial goals so you can look to the future with confidence. Schedule a review with a knowledgeable Thrivent Financial representative today. Contact Julie Nobile,ChFC® at (330)668-4720 or [email protected] today, or visit Thrivent.com.

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SEPTEMBER BIRTHDAY WISHES

Bonnie Wadel 9/1 Brittany Wadel 9/2 Ron Rieger Lisa Kabay Lisa Thompson Larry Steiner 9/3 Carolyn Dietsche Nicole Cameron Maeve Krystowski Kimberly Boone 9/4 Rita Clouse Lauren Lewis Tyler Wise 9/5 Alex Raabe 9/6 Jeanette Wing 9/10 Erich Geiler Jr 9/11 Cyra Reed 9/13 Kaden Casal Pam Weismantel 9/14 Elizabeth Davis

Allison Nixon 9/15 Cynthia Weisheit 9/16 Melissa Kerr 9/17 Laura Schmigel 9/18 Brooke Sewolich 9/22 Alexis Warnement Mallory Milroy Dan Businger 9/23 Elise Milburn 9/24 Joanne Greive 9/25 Paul Thompson 9/26 Bruce Webber 9/27 Courtney Thomas Bill Widenmeyer Russ Weyandt 9/28 Amanda Stefaniak Judith Pace 9/29 Hailey Dobbins Melina Zavagno Steve Kovach Jr. 9/30

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MASTER CALENDAR SEPTEMBER 2014

Sept. 7 8:00AM 10:45AM Elder/Lay Minister Rich Proeschel Bob Businger

Euch. Lay Minister Jim Wallace Sue Baca/Len Zittle Scripture Reader Laura Wallace Jennifer Banas

Acolyte Damien Miller Emma Davis Sound System Jim Little Nate Steiner Ushers Dale Curtis Eric Nixon/Denny Barowicz Adam Kluk Mike & Michael Manley Austin Kluk Ryan Holliday Bud Leu Kevin Holliday Greeters Rich & Jenny Proeschel Tim & Gail Edgar Nursery Barry & Michelle Scotton Altar Guild Carolyn Leu/Linda Limpert Altar Guild Helper Jan McGee Counters Greg Ulm/Robin Pawelec/Stacy Camera Coffee S-Up/C-Up Leu Kovach Sept. 14 Elder/Lay Minister Jim Huxsoll Greg Ulm

Euch. Lay Minister Deb Boyle M. Mims/D. Barowicz Scripture Reader Laura Wallace Roberta Dobbins Acolyte Matthew Leu Emily Stark Sound System Nancy Bloom Joe Schmigel Ushers Dick Deming Eric Milroy Zach Brady Lori Milroy Scott Hill Lauren Milroy Alan Briggs Ryan Milroy Greeters Bob & Adeline Wadel Orville & Regina Estep

Nursery Eric & Dina Nixon Altar Guild Mona Mims/Gus Dobbins Altar Guild Helper Kris Slansky Counters Vicki Birce/Sue Fister/Karla Williams Coffee S-Up/C-Up Willhoite M. Weyandt

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Sept. 21 8:00AM 10:45AM Elder/Lay Minister Mike Manley Chris Merkle Euch. Lay Minister Todd Brady Dave Klinger/Sue Baca Scripture Reader Cynthia Walter Sharon Kerr Acolyte Bayley McRitchie Zachary Venus Sound System Jason Kneale Nathan Steiner Ushers Jim Wallace Ken Baca Mick Spillane Steve & Jordan Tschiegg Susan Little/Gerry Placko Ed Wadel Norm Meyers Pete Schwanke

Greeters Jim & Laura Wallace Linda Haberkost/Sue Fister Nursery Joe & Stacey Camera Altar Guild Kathy Webber/Joyce Hill Altar Guild Helper Naomi Taylor Counters Len & Jan Zittle/Judy Madachik

Coffee S-Up/C-Up Ely S. Wise

Sept. 28 Elder/Lay Minister Rich Proeschel Eric Nixon Euch. Lay Minister Kristen Slansky Sue Baca/Len Zittle Scripture Reader Mike Rickman Andy Schwab Acolyte Matt Deming Tyler Buehner Sound System Jason Kneale Jim Little Ushers Dale Curtis Marty Rinto Adam Kluk Tom Menyes Sr Austin Kluk Tom Menyes Jr Alan Briggs Kevin Menyes Greeters Greg & Cynthia Walter John & Sue Hink Nursery Dawn Gummo & Terri Brady Altar Guild Juanita Barowicz/Joann Buttolph Altar Guild Helper Chris Hagemeier Counters Joe & Stacy Camera/Kari Kovach Coffee S-Up/C-Up Wethern D. Cartwright

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Broadcasts on Sundays at 8AM on WHKW 1220AM

September 2014

September 7 "Teeny, Tiny Crosses" Speaker Emeritus of The Lutheran Hour: Rev. Ken Klaus Jesus bore the weight of the cross and all of our sin. How big is the cross God calls you to carry? (Matthew 16:24-26) September 14 "That's Just Who God Is" Lutheran Hour Speaker: Rev. Gregory Seltz The journeys of St. Paul teach us how God's message of grace has been translated so that all might believe. (Footsteps of St. Paul, part 1) (Acts 2:1-39) September 21 "Rome: The Gospel Comes to Law and Order People" Lutheran Hour Speaker: Rev. Gregory Seltz God used the Roman legal system to bring the Apostle Paul and the Gospel message to Rome. (Footsteps of St. Paul, part 2) (Acts 28:11-16, 28-31) September 28 "Athens: The Gospel Comes to the Center of Learning" Lutheran Hour Speaker: Rev. Gregory Seltz Jesus is Wisdom personified. He redeems us from sin and the world's futility. (Footsteps of St. Paul, part 3) (Acts 17)

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A PLAY ON WORDS 1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his

size from too much pi. 2. I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island. It turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey-maker’s daughter, but he loves her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated in algebra class, because it was a weapon of

math disruption. 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’s still stationery. 6. A dog gave birth to puppies on the highway...and was cited for littering. 7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown-apart. 8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. Police are looking into it. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: “You

stay here, I’ll go on a head.” 13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 14. A sign on the lawn at a rug rehab center said: “Keep off the grass.” 15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 17. A backward poet writes inverse. 18. In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes. 19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris you’d be in Seine. 21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant says,

“I’m sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger.” 22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “Dam!. 23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

Unsurprisingly it sank. Proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other say “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who send ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.