Poor Man’s Lobster

By

Travis T. Johnson

EXT. ASTORIA - DAY

Astoria, Oregon. The sky is grey and the day’s last few

raindrops mist over the old part of the town. It’s a hilly

place with a beautiful body of water at its side and across

the water are mountains covered by luscious green forest.

Most of the homes in town are built on the upward slant of

the landscape, making them look as if they are stacked atop

one another.

EXT. SALTY LEAF CAFE / BACKLOT - DAY

The cafe is the bottom portion of a two story brick building

with an old fire escape on its side and a wooden menu board

out front that reads "Today’s Special Poor Man’s Lobster".

Most of the storage seems to be in the back of the building,

it looks like a junk yard scattered with milk crates,

propane tanks, broken ovens, stacked chairs and a makeshift

meat smoker made mostly out of car parts.

A BUSBOY in his twenties steps out the back entrance of the

cafe wearing a tie-dyed Bob Marley shirt partially hidden by

a drenched white apron and a wool beanie atop his purple

hair. He is carrying a large bin that is loaded with half

eaten food and napkins.

BUSBOY

Ughhhh, people are so nasty.

He walks over to the dumpster struggling with the bin as he

tries reaching for his phone.

In the shuffle he drops a thick wad of cash and it rolls on

the pavement as he continues to walk.

After emptying the bin he looks down at his phone, a can

falls in the distance and his head pops up glaring over to

the meat smoker. He returns to his phone, there’s a text

bubble from KRYSTAL reading "Hey Vince, r U busy ;)?"

BUSBOY

Bitch must want my dick, aha ha ha.

He passes the smoker on the way back, grinning as he thumbs

about his phone, stepping right past his roll of money.

The door closes and GORDON steps from behind the smoker. He

scans the area as he makes his way to the dumpster. Gordon

is an old man with a full white beard that pops out from the

layers of dirty jackets he wears. He has numerous scars on

his face, most of which blend into his wrinkles, except for

a dominant scar that passes through his right eyebrow.

2.

He looks down at the green bills for a moment, then glances

over to the back door before he starts rummaging about the

dumpster.

Eventually he pulls out a heavy stained blanket, examines

the damage then quickly folds it.

Gordon takes in a long scan of the area and carefully lays

the backpack down, draping the blanket over it.

He continues digging head first into the dumpster picking up

a decent looking apple only to turn it around showing a deep

dark spot of mold. Gordon drops the apple when his eye

catches something, he goes back into the dumpster tossing

old food until he appears again pulling out a newspaper. He

looks it over it intently as he scratches at the scar on his

eyebrow. He is unable to close his mouth, showcasing his

rotten left over teeth.

Across from him the back door opens and the busboy steps out

holding another bin while propping his phone in-between his

ear and shoulder.

BUSBOY

Hey Krystal, you looking to chill

later or something, maybe watch a

movie?

His grin starts to fade away.

BUSBOY

Oh, you want weed?

He then notices Gordon in the distance stuffing the blanket

into the bag.

BUSBOY

Seriously bro?! Get the fuck out of

here.

He drops the bin and pockets the phone, then reaches over

for a bat alongside the door frame. The bus boy takes the

bat and shatters a nearby bottle leaving class trickle about

all the junk in the lot.

BUSBOY

I’ve busted up bums before man,

trust me.

GORDON

I don’t need trouble kid.

The busboy takes a couple steps forward pointing the bat and

Gordon look back, his bushy eyebrows lowering to his eyes.

3.

BUSBOY

Better not catch you again.

GORDON

(To himself)

You can bet on that jelly head.

Gordon walks off and the busboy notices his money on the

ground. He quickly checks it and looks up at Gordon walking

off in the distance.

He glances down to the newspaper on the ground, there’s a

picture of a clean cut man with a scar on his brow on the

cover with a slug line that reads "Portland Ponzi Schemer",

the busboy looks back at the man.

Then checks his cash again by counting it.

Gordon goes on walking, occasionally stopping to look back

towards the cafe. All at once he starts to cough and can

barely take in a breath.

EXT. LITTLE GIRLS HOME/BACKYARD - DAY

From a short distance a little GIRL with pigtails plays at a

swing set in the backyard. Her MOTHER watches her while

taking pictures with her phone.

Gordon slows his pace for a moment and watches the

interaction. The two laugh with each other until the mom

notices Gordon, she quickly picks up the girl starting to

walk to the house, before making it to the door her head

turns back at Gordon. The look of disgust slowly comes out

of her expression.

MOTHER

(Mouthing)

Worthless.

He glares at the woman as he spits on the ground and

continues to walk away towards main street.

EXT. MAIN STREET ASTORIA - DAY

Bikes pass by on the wet street as Gordon walks by the

building looking down at the ground trying to avoid the

stares that surround him.

A couple at a bus stop across the street laugh with each

other as they watch Gordon walk, all he can see is their

mouths moving as they both tilt their heads back laughing.

4.

An old man with a VFW hat walks past him, he up downs Gordon

as he vigorously chew his gum, shaking his head as he passes

him.

Two TROUBLEMAKERS blast by on skateboards nearly hitting

Gordon.

TROUBLEMAKER 1

Watch the fuck out!

TROUBLEMAKER 2

(laughing)

Dirty piece of shit.

Gordon continues to walk until he comes up to the end of an

alley. There is an elderly HOMELESS WOMAN underneath an

overhang, she is covered in blankets with most of her

belongings arranged against the building she is laying in

front of. She wears glasses with a missing lens, her hair

greasy locks and the remaining pieces of teeth poke out from

her dark grey gums.

There is an empty pizza box with a few dollars in it, on the

inside of the box it reads "Please help I have lost

everything I once had. God bless." The two look at each

other but Gordon is quick to look away.

Gordon walks past to the beginning of the alley, when he is

abruptly forced to step aside as the same troublemakers dart

past him again.

They stop in front of the elderly woman and start grabbing

all the money from the box.

HOMELESS WOMAN

(yelling)

Stop, stop, that’s mine.

TROUBLEMAKER 1

Get a job grandma.

One of the boys kicks the empty pizza at Gordon, they laugh.

TROUBLEMAKER 2

Dude, now we gotta enough for a

dime bag, we’ll hit up Purple at

Salty Leaf.

TROUBLEMAKER 1

Thanks lady haha, hope his bud is

the color of his hair this time.

The boys pass by looking at Gordon as he stand there. The

homeless woman signals Gordon to stop them.

5.

HOMELESS WOMAN

Do something! You just going to let

them do that?

She tosses her hands up in the air.

HOMELESS WOMAN

I need all I can get, aint got a

fancy bag like you do.

Gordon looks down at her for a moment and readjusts his

backpack. Then keeps walking toward the alleyway stepping

onto the pizza box on his way.

HOMELESS WOMAN

Way to watch out for your own.

EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY

Water drips down from stairwells and Gordon starts moving

items around by a trashcan. A rat scurries around in-between

two cans, stopping and looking up at Gordon.

Gordon takes a moment and looks around the alley before

going back to the search.

While moving garbage he notices something moving under a

piece of tarp, as he moves it he sees a dog caught up in a

bundle of rusted barbed wire. One of the dogs hind legs is

badly cut up from struggling.

The dog looks up at Gordon, not making a noise and unable to

free itself. Gordon makes sure no one is around and pulls

the blanket from his backpack.

In doing so, we see a wad of one hundred dollar bills fall

to the ground. Quickly he grabs it and we see that the bag

is close to overflowing with cash.

He looks over the area again when one of the exit doors

blasts open echoing in the alley, Gordon zips his bag back

up and puts it on.

TWO LARGE MEN wearing black throw a DRUNK MAN out of the

bar. The man scrapes against the shiny pavement, his

expensive button up shirt now wet and torn. He is a tall

man, with big arms and broad shoulders, short hair with

frosted tips.

DRUNKEN MAN

Fight me you pussies, c’mon!

6.

The door slams shut and the man punches the door, screaming

up at the grey sky. His upper lip is swollen and he

continues to punch the door leaving blood stains from his

fists.

DRUNKEN MAN

I wasn’t done with my fucking

drink. That I payed for.

The disorderly man stumbles to the ground as he tries to

kick the door open.

Gordon a few yards away attempts to unwind the barbed wire

and free the dog. As he unwraps the last barb, he realizes

the dog is unable to walk.

The barbed wire is so tightly coiled from struggling that

bone is exposed on one leg, the dogs hair is matted, ribs

visible and isn’t moving, just looking up at Gordon slowly

blinking.

The irate man notices Gordon by the trashcan. He wipes the

snot and blood from his face in one loud motion before

spitting on the ground.

DRUNKEN MAN

Hey! You been watching me.

Gordon looks up at the man and starts to walk away, locking

eyes with the dog as he attempts to leave him and the

disorderly man.

DRUNKEN MAN

Where you think your going bum?

GORDON

Just let me by.

DRUNKEN MAN

You trying to piss me off old man,

I ought to teach you a lesson for

eating out of garbage cans.

Gordon picks up the pace but the man lunges out grabbing his

bag, causing Gordon twist around. The man takes Gordon buy

the throat pulling him in closer.

DRUNKEN MAN

(laughing)

Ooh, that got you going, let me

guess you must live in this bag.

He easily throws Gordon down to the ground and spits on him.

7.

We see his backpack fall to the ground and slide on the

pavement, a few more wads of cash fall from the bag. Gordon

looks down for a moment, the drunk still locked on him,

oblivious to what is now laying on the floor.

DRUNKEN MAN

(teeth clenched)

Hit me, hit me.

Gordon looks up at the man locking eyes with him. His

breathing is raspy as he grimaces in pain.

GORDON

You are looking at a dead soul just

let me be.

The man slaps Gordon across his face.

DRUNKEN MAN

If you fight me I’ll let you go.

Now the bag has finally come into view for the drunk and his

eyes go wide, showing his pearly white teeth as he laugh. He

then peers over to Gordon.

DRUNKEN MAN

Fine. I’ll take be taking that bag

then.

Gordon stares down the man, he makes it to his feet but is

disoriented and he reaches into his jacket.

He pulls out a led pipe and cracks the man in the teeth

knocking him out on the second swing. In the distance police

sirens can be heard and Gordon raises his head.

He starts to leave the area when the dog barks at him, he

stops and looks down at the dog.

The siren is getting closer by the second.

He drops down to the ground and picks up the blanket. The

dog looks over at him attempting to bark but not making a

sound.

A police car drives down the alley.

The drunk man is now sitting up against a dumpster and is

groaning on the ground slurping the blood pouring from his

mouth.

Gordon wraps the dog up in the blanket and cradles him in

his arms as the officer steps out of the vehicle notices the

intoxicated man then Gordon.

8.

OFFICER

Sir, I’m gonna have to have a word

with you, can you step up to the

vehicle please?

Gordon struggles to hold the dog while picking up the bag,

he acts like he can’t hear the officer.

OFFICER

Sir, I asked you to stop!

Gordon looks at the officer in a daze his eyes wide open

looking at the exit.

OFFICER

You will get tazed if you resist

me.

The drunk man stands up noticing what is happening and takes

a mad dash past the officer, who leaps out tackling the man

to the ground, crashing into the trash cans.

In the chaos the drunk man punches the officer in the face

and gets up.

The officer pulls out his taser gun and locks onto the man

filling him with high voltage, Gordon sees his opportunity

and runs out of the alleyway.

OFFICER

(Into radio handset)

I need backup down here behind

Milo’s Bar.

The officer cuffs the man and leaves him on his stomach. Red

foam fills the drunks mouth and drips to the pavement.

He peers off in the distance seeing Gordon making his

escape, and takes off after him.

OFFICER

Sir! I’m asking you to stop!

EXT. MAIN STREET ASTORIA - DAY

Gordon hits the corner drops his bag while struggling with

the dog and stops dead in his tracks.

The red and blue lights splash on the walls at the entrance

of the alleyway as Gordon looks down at the homeless woman

once more. She lays there sleeping, with her blankets almost

masking her face.

9.

Gordon looks at her then he hears the footsteps of the

officer getting closer. He then looks at the bag and without

hesitation he slides it towards the old woman.

More sirens can be heard in the distance and Gordon goes

back into survival mode darting across the street. A car

almost flattens him as he make it across the street.

He makes his way down another alley before vanishing around

the corner.

The officer makes his way to the end of the alleyway still

yelling, causing the old woman to wake up. He is unable to

catch his breath, the woman notices the blood pouring down

from his nose.

OFFICER

Ma’am did you see a man with a dog

run through here?

HOMELESS WOMAN

No sir.

She then looks down and pulls the bag next to her, the

office calls again for backup. As the woman opens the bag

she gasps for a breath and holds it to her chest. Her eyes

bulging out.

The backup car arrives and parks in front of the lady, in

the backseat are the two skateboarders and the bus boy they

are arguing until one of them recognizes the old lady

outside the car.

The woman looks up and laughs with her mouth wide open, she

then gets up shaking the blankets from her. With only the

backpack on her she leaves her home and walks down the

street still laughing.