Poor Man’s Lobster

By

Travis T. Johnson

1.

EXT. ASTORIA - DAY

Astoria, Oregon. The sky is grey and the day’s last few raindrops mist over the old part of the town. It’s a hilly place with a beautiful body of water at its side and across the water are mountains covered by luscious green forest.

Most of the homes in town are built on the upward slant of the landscape, making them look as if they are stacked atop one another.

EXT. SALTY LEAF CAFE / BACKLOT - DAY

The cafe is the bottom portion of a two story brick building with an old fire escape on its side and a wooden menu board out front that reads "Today’s Special Poor Man’s Lobster".

Most of the storage seems to be in the back of the building, it looks like a junk yard scattered with milk crates, propane tanks, broken ovens, stacked chairs and a makeshift meat smoker made mostly out of car parts.

A BUSBOY in his twenties steps out the back entrance of the cafe wearing a tie-dyed Bob Marley shirt partially hidden by a drenched white apron and a wool beanie atop his purple hair. He is carrying a large bin that is loaded with half eaten food and napkins.

BUSBOYUghhhh, people are so nasty.

He walks over to the dumpster struggling with the bin as he tries reaching for his phone.

In the shuffle he drops a thick wad of cash and it rolls on the pavement as he continues to walk.

After emptying the bin he looks down at his phone, a can falls in the distance and his head pops up glaring over to the meat smoker. He returns to his phone, there’s a text bubble from KRYSTAL reading "Hey Vince, r U busy ;)?"

BUSBOYBitch must want my dick, aha ha ha.

He passes the smoker on the way back, grinning as he thumbs about his phone, stepping right past his roll of money.

The door closes and GORDON steps from behind the smoker. He scans the area as he makes his way to the dumpster. Gordon is an old man with a full white beard that pops out from

the layers of dirty jackets he wears. He has numerous scars on his face, most of which blend into his wrinkles, except for a dominant scar that passes through his right eyebrow.

He looks down at the green bills for a moment, then glances over to the back door before he starts rummaging about the dumpster.

Eventually he pulls out a heavy stained blanket, examines the damage then quickly folds it.

Gordon takes in a long scan of the area and carefully lays the backpack down, draping the blanket over it.

He continues digging head first into the dumpster picking up a decent looking apple only to turn it around showing a deep dark spot of mold. Gordon drops the apple when his eye catches something, he goes back into the dumpster tossing old food until he appears again pulling out a newspaper. He looks it over it intently as he scratches at the scar on his eyebrow. He is unable to close his mouth, showcasing his rotten left over teeth.

Across from him the back door opens and the busboy steps out holding another bin while propping his phone in-between his ear and shoulder.

BUSBOYHey Krystal, you looking to chill later or something, maybe watch a movie?

His grin starts to fade away.

BUSBOYOh, you want weed?

He then notices Gordon in the distance stuffing the blanket into the bag.

BUSBOYSeriously bro?! Get the fuck out of here.

He drops the bin and pockets the phone, then reaches over for a bat alongside the door frame. The bus boy takes the bat and shatters a nearby bottle leaving class trickle about all the junk in the lot.

BUSBOYI’ve busted up bums before man, trust me.

3.

GORDONI don’t need trouble kid.

The busboy takes a couple steps forward pointing the bat and Gordon look back, his bushy eyebrows lowering to his eyes.

4.

BUSBOYBetter not catch you again.

GORDON(To himself)

You can bet on that jelly head.

Gordon walks off and the busboy notices his money on the ground. He quickly checks it and looks up at Gordon walking off in the distance.

He glances down to the newspaper on the ground, there’s a picture of a clean cut man with a scar on his brow on the cover with a slug line that reads "Portland Ponzi Schemer", the busboy looks back at the man.

Then checks his cash again by counting it.

Gordon goes on walking, occasionally stopping to look back towards the cafe. All at once he starts to cough and can barely take in a breath.

EXT. LITTLE GIRLS HOME/BACKYARD - DAY

From a short distance a little GIRL with pigtails plays at a swing set in the backyard. Her MOTHER watches her while taking pictures with her phone.

Gordon slows his pace for a moment and watches the interaction. The two laugh with each other until the mom notices Gordon, she quickly picks up the girl starting to walk to the house, before making it to the door her head turns back at Gordon. The look of disgust slowly comes out of her expression.

MOTHER(Mouthing)

Worthless.

He glares at the woman as he spits on the ground and continues to walk away towards main street.

EXT. MAIN STREET ASTORIA - DAY

Bikes pass by on the wet street as Gordon walks by the building looking down at the ground trying to avoid the stares that surround him.

A couple at a bus stop across the street laugh with each other as they watch Gordon walk, all he can see is their mouths moving as they both tilt their heads back laughing.

5.

An old man with a VFW hat walks past him, he up downs Gordon as he vigorously chew his gum, shaking his head as he passes him.

Two TROUBLEMAKERS blast by on skateboards nearly hitting Gordon.

TROUBLEMAKER 1 Watch the fuck out!

TROUBLEMAKER 2(laughing)

Dirty piece of shit.

Gordon continues to walk until he comes up to the end of an alley. There is an elderly HOMELESS WOMAN underneath an overhang, she is covered in blankets with most of her belongings arranged against the building she is laying in front of. She wears glasses with a missing lens, her hair greasy locks and the remaining pieces of teeth poke out from her dark grey gums.

There is an empty pizza box with a few dollars in it, on the inside of the box it reads "Please help I have lost everything I once had. God bless." The two look at each other but Gordon is quick to look away.

Gordon walks past to the beginning of the alley, when he is abruptly forced to step aside as the same troublemakers dart past him again.

They stop in front of the elderly woman and start grabbing all the money from the box.

HOMELESS WOMAN (yelling)

Stop, stop, that’s mine.

TROUBLEMAKER 1 Get a job grandma.

One of the boys kicks the empty pizza at Gordon, they laugh.

TROUBLEMAKER 2 Dude, now we gotta enough for a dime bag, we’ll hit up Purple at Salty Leaf.

TROUBLEMAKER 1 Thanks lady haha, hope his bud is the color of his hair this time.

6.

The boys pass by looking at Gordon as he stand there. The homeless woman signals Gordon to stop them.

HOMELESS WOMAN Do something! You just going to let them do that?

She tosses her hands up in the air.

HOMELESS WOMAN I need all I can get, aint got a fancy bag like you do.

Gordon looks down at her for a moment and readjusts his backpack. Then keeps walking toward the alleyway stepping onto the pizza box on his way.

HOMELESS WOMANWay to watch out for your own.

EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY

Water drips down from stairwells and Gordon starts moving items around by a trashcan. A rat scurries around in-between two cans, stopping and looking up at Gordon.

Gordon takes a moment and looks around the alley before going back to the search.

While moving garbage he notices something moving under a piece of tarp, as he moves it he sees a dog caught up in a bundle of rusted barbed wire. One of the dogs hind legs is badly cut up from struggling.

The dog looks up at Gordon, not making a noise and unable to free itself. Gordon makes sure no one is around and pulls the blanket from his backpack.

In doing so, we see a wad of one hundred dollar bills fall to the ground. Quickly he grabs it and we see that the bag is close to overflowing with cash.

He looks over the area again when one of the exit doors blasts open echoing in the alley, Gordon zips his bag back up and puts it on.

TWO LARGE MEN wearing black throw a DRUNK MAN out of the bar. The man scrapes against the shiny pavement, his expensive button up shirt now wet and torn. He is a tall man, with big arms and broad shoulders, short hair with frosted tips.

DRUNKEN MAN

7.

Fight me you pussies, c’mon!

The door slams shut and the man punches the door, screaming up at the grey sky. His upper lip is swollen and he continues to punch the door leaving blood stains from his fists.

DRUNKEN MAN I wasn’t done with my fucking drink. That I payed for.

The disorderly man stumbles to the ground as he tries to kick the door open.

Gordon a few yards away attempts to unwind the barbed wire and free the dog. As he unwraps the last barb, he realizes the dog is unable to walk.

The barbed wire is so tightly coiled from struggling that bone is exposed on one leg, the dogs hair is matted, ribs visible and isn’t moving, just looking up at Gordon slowly blinking.

The irate man notices Gordon by the trashcan. He wipes the snot and blood from his face in one loud motion before spitting on the ground.

DRUNKEN MAN Hey! You been watching me.

Gordon looks up at the man and starts to walk away, locking eyes with the dog as he attempts to leave him and the disorderly man.

DRUNKEN MANWhere you think your going bum?

GORDON Just let me by.

DRUNKEN MANYou trying to piss me off old man, I ought to teach you a lesson for eating out of garbage cans.

Gordon picks up the pace but the man lunges out grabbing his bag, causing Gordon twist around. The man takes Gordon buy the throat pulling him in closer.

DRUNKEN MAN(laughing)

8.

Ooh, that got you going, let me guess you must live in this bag.

He easily throws Gordon down to the ground and spits on him.

We see his backpack fall to the ground and slide on the pavement, a few more wads of cash fall from the bag. Gordon looks down for a moment, the drunk still locked on him, oblivious to what is now laying on the floor.

DRUNKEN MAN(teeth clenched)

Hit me, hit me.

Gordon looks up at the man locking eyes with him. His breathing is raspy as he grimaces in pain.

GORDONYou are looking at a dead soul just let me be.

The man slaps Gordon across his face.

DRUNKEN MANIf you fight me I’ll let you go.

Now the bag has finally come into view for the drunk and his eyes go wide, showing his pearly white teeth as he laugh. He then peers over to Gordon.

DRUNKEN MANFine. I’ll take be taking that bag then.

Gordon stares down the man, he makes it to his feet but is disoriented and he reaches into his jacket.

He pulls out a led pipe and cracks the man in the teeth knocking him out on the second swing. In the distance police sirens can be heard and Gordon raises his head.

He starts to leave the area when the dog barks at him, he stops and looks down at the dog.

The siren is getting closer by the second.

He drops down to the ground and picks up the blanket. The dog looks over at him attempting to bark but not making a sound.

A police car drives down the alley.

9.

The drunk man is now sitting up against a dumpster and is groaning on the ground slurping the blood pouring from his mouth.

Gordon wraps the dog up in the blanket and cradles him in his arms as the officer steps out of the vehicle notices the intoxicated man then Gordon.

OFFICERSir, I’m gonna have to have a word with you, can you step up to the vehicle please?

Gordon struggles to hold the dog while picking up the bag, he acts like he can’t hear the officer.

OFFICERSir, I asked you to stop!

Gordon looks at the officer in a daze his eyes wide open looking at the exit.

OFFICERYou will get tazed if you resist me.

The drunk man stands up noticing what is happening and takes a mad dash past the officer, who leaps out tackling the man to the ground, crashing into the trash cans.

In the chaos the drunk man punches the officer in the face and gets up.

The officer pulls out his taser gun and locks onto the man filling him with high voltage, Gordon sees his opportunity and runs out of the alleyway.

OFFICER(Into radio handset) I

need backup down here behind Milo’s Bar.

The officer cuffs the man and leaves him on his stomach. Red foam fills the drunks mouth and drips to the pavement.

He peers off in the distance seeing Gordon making his escape, and takes off after him.

OFFICERSir! I’m asking you to stop!

EXT. MAIN STREET ASTORIA - DAY

10.

Gordon hits the corner drops his bag while struggling with the dog and stops dead in his tracks.

The red and blue lights splash on the walls at the entrance of the alleyway as Gordon looks down at the homeless woman once more. She lays there sleeping, with her blankets almost masking her face.

Gordon looks at her then he hears the footsteps of the officer getting closer. He then looks at the bag and without hesitation he slides it towards the old woman.

More sirens can be heard in the distance and Gordon goes back into survival mode darting across the street. A car almost flattens him as he make it across the street.

He makes his way down another alley before vanishing around the corner.

The officer makes his way to the end of the alleyway still yelling, causing the old woman to wake up. He is unable to catch his breath, the woman notices the blood pouring down from his nose.

OFFICERMa’am did you see a man with a dog run through here?

HOMELESS WOMAN No sir.

She then looks down and pulls the bag next to her, the office calls again for backup. As the woman opens the bag she gasps for a breath and holds it to her chest. Her eyes bulging out.

The backup car arrives and parks in front of the lady, in the backseat are the two skateboarders and the bus boy they are arguing until one of them recognizes the old lady outside the car.

The woman looks up and laughs with her mouth wide open, she then gets up shaking the blankets from her. With only the backpack on her she leaves her home and walks down the street still laughing.