Please read but not during םייחה ץע -English Weekly- · 2020. 8. 21. · ל''קוצז...
Transcript of Please read but not during םייחה ץע -English Weekly- · 2020. 8. 21. · ל''קוצז...
עץ החיים
We are finally here in the great month of Elul.
I CAN STILL HEAR the words of מו''ר הגרח''פ שיינברג
ringing in my ears. Rav Sheinberg was close to זצוק''ל
one hundred years old, and with his soft voice he would
repeat to us the words, "Elul – Ani l’Dodi V’Dodi Li." "I
am for my Beloved and my Beloved is for me"…
What does this mean?
This translates to mean
that during Elul it is a
special time of bonding,
and gaining a closer
relationship between us
and Hashem! It is an
exceptional time of year,
an opportunity to
achieve greatness. "I am
for my Beloved and my
Beloved is for me!
I HEARD A GREAT
VORT, from a close
relative of mine, who
explained something
that is alluded to in the
words – לדודי ודודי ליאני . If you take a look, first it says
which is what I put in during this month on ,''אני לדודי''
behalf of my Beloved - the Rebono Shel Oilum. Only
after, will Hashem pull us through and give us aid - and
that's the ''ודודי לי'' .
LIKE A STORY THAT my relative told me about my
great-grandfather, about when he was in his old age and
it was very difficult for him to walk. Once, when he got
to Shul after one of his strenuous walks, the Rov asked
him, "Tell me, how do you manage such a tough walk at
your age?" My great-grandfather responded "In truth, to
start my walk is very very difficult, however once I get
started, the momentum keeps me moving and it
becomes not so difficult anymore." This is the לדודי אני
ודודי לי ← .
WHY ARE THE WORDS "Ani L’dodi V’dodi Li" in the
singular form? The reason is because during Elul, we
must evaluate our own personal relationship with
Hashem. We are not here to fix everyone else, we are
here to fix ourselves.
The חפץ חיים spent his entire life working on himself,
more and more and more. The חפץ חיים was known to
lock himself in a room and cry bitter tears of תשובה. What
does תשובה mean? תשובה means returning to Hashem and
ridding oneself of his עבירות. It is a lifetime’s work.
In the "ספר "מאיר עיני ישראל they bring from HaRav
Mordechai Prizal, a Talmid of the Chofetz Chaim, who
said that not once did he ever hear his Rebbe give over a
Halachic discourse.
Never. Rav Prizal related
that he remembers how
they told in his time, that
when the חפץ חיים finished
writing the ספר משנה ברורה
they made a special סעודה.
By the סעודה one of the
elders that were חשובה
there said to the חפץ חיים
“Nu, mistama the Rebbe
is going to give us
something from
Halachah? The חפץ חיים
listened and shook his
head affirmatively. All
who were there
immediately became quite
and leaned toward the חפץ חיים eager to hear this once in
a lifetime occasion. The Chofetz Chaim began to speak,
“The Rambam Paskens in Hilchos תשובה that a Yid is
obligated to do תשובה… and for the rest of the time, all
the חפץ חיים spoke about was the ענין of strengthening
themselves in תשובה…
IT IS NOT A COINCIDENCE that the Parsha of
''Shoftim '' – comes out right at the start of אלול which is
the month of the preparation for the real judgement on
אש השנהר עלינו לטובההבא – .
The עבודה of the month of Elul is to come closer to
Hashem by looking at our daily lives and finding ways
that we can improve for the better. Obviously, most of
the time, we should not to make drastic changes from one
second to the next since usually it won't last. Rather, we
should find ways to move up on the ladder step by step,
ultimately reaching the huge drastic changes for the
better.
Rav Yitzchok Zilberstien related the following story:
Please read but not during חזרת הש"ץ or קריאת התורה.
-English Weekly-
I am Beloved!
Year 7 Issue #297
“A young man told me that he was really struggling in
many areas and whenever he had hardships he would
accept upon himself all sorts of קבלות that were far
beyond his capabilities. “After a while” he said “I saw I
never kept to any of my קבלות, so I figured I will stop
taking upon myself anything in the first place.
However, after more thought I realized that
this wasn’t what Hashem wanted from me
either. The next time I saw myself in a
troubling situation, I realized that
Hashem wanted something more from
me to accept upon myself. However, I
did not want to make the same errors
I had made in the past. I thought and
thought it through. What could I
possibly accept upon myself? I looked
in many מוסר ספרים and tried to figure
something out, until I came across the
following Passuk טוב אחרית דבר מראשיתו
based on this I decided to accept upon myself just
one thing, to have כוונה in the words of מודה אני when I
wake up in the morning. Am I so terrible that I can’t do
this one “small” קבלה? I accepted this upon myself and I
saw that this served as a catapult to an amazing growth
in my 'עבודת ה throughout the rest of my day and my life
was changed completely since I began this קבלה."
THE FIRST ASPECT OF תשובה IS THE DESIRE to
change. Why is this? Because if we have the passion to
change we will make the goals in the first place.
THE FOLLOWING SHORT STORY brings out the
which is the yearning תשובה of this first step of חשיבות
to become greater. There was a very pious חסיד that once
approached his Rebbe the בעל נתיבות שלום. The חסיד said
“Rebbe, I am afraid that with all my great aspirations in
my life all they will write on my monument will be פה"
told him in reply, “If I נתיבות שלום The .נטמן בעל השאיפות"
would see a קבר with such words I would specifically
want to Daven at such a קבר”.
“Having goals is the pathway to gadlus.”
WE SAY IN THE DAVENING that Hashem is רוצה
which means that He wants our return and it – בתשובה
brings Hashem tremendous נחת when we show we are
making new קבלות even that which seem so small to us
and insignificant. There is no such thing as a kabala that
is too small.
REB YISROEL SALANTER once said that it is worth it
for someone to learn מוסר all his life, even if he gets only
one התעוררות of קו"ח !תשובה – all the more so, if we
acquire as much התעוררות as we can, especially now in
the month of the Elul, the preparation before the great
day of judgement, we will be like polished diamonds
when it will come Yom Hadin.
Chazal say that כלפי Hakadosh Boruch Hu, it also applies
the possuk ''דברים י:יז( ''אשר לא ישא פנים ולא יקח שחד( The
obvious question is: What שחד could there possibly be by
!!The signature of Hashem is Emes !?הקב"ה
Rabbeinu Bechaya explains, that if a person did 1000
he can't say, "Well, I'll just knock off ,עבירה and one מצות
one of my a thousand תמצו and it will push away that
cannot מצוה This is not the way it works. A ".עבירה
get knocked away, since שכר מקפח"אין הקב"ה
מצוה on the חרטה unless he has) כל בריה"
and even there you have to know how it
works) and since a צותמ can never get
knocked away so there is only one
other option to knock away the עבירה
that שחד Therefore, this is the .תשובה -
applies to הקב"ה that Hashem will
never take the שחד of a "מצוה" and
"erase" the מצוה in order to make him
clean from the עבירה, this is not the way
it works.
People make a terribly mistake in life. They
see many chazalim that say if you do this or that
you get a clean slate. For example; one who is מעביר על
etc. there are ,ברית is clean, or one who attends a מדותיו
many other examples that Chazal say, which clean a
person from his עבירות. What is their mistake? They think
that it is like a free-bee. I did עבירות, and now I'm clean
without too much effort – I don't even have to do תשובה.
However, ח''ו to think this way, this is the terrible
mistake. What all these Chazalim mean is that if a person
does any of these acts that Chazal mention, PLUS they
do teshuvah, then and only then will they have a clean
slate. This means, if you get embarrassed, and you keep
quiet, plus you had חרטה on your עבירות and made קבלות
for the future with ווידוי, then you are clean. This is how
it works. This is also included in שחד that Hashem doesn't
accept as we mentioned before.
So you'll ask, "If so, what does it have anything to do
with the act that I was מעביר על מידותי that I got clean – it
is because of the תשובה!?"
The answer is simple and clear-cut. In normal
circumstances, it is hard for a person to do תשובה and
although the gates of תשובה are never closed, one has to
put in effort to make a real תשובה. However, chazal say
מסייעים אותו - הבא ליטהר [.שבת קד] . There is another
famous Chazal quoted often, which also teaches us, that
if you open a small opening the size of a needle hole
Hashem will help you further. Whatever it is, the bottom
line is, one needs to do his part of Teshuvah by sincerely
showing Hashem that they are putting in the effort to
change. Now, when Hashem sees that you put in your
effort ''אני לדודי''[] then Hashem will "fill in" and help him
even more like you never imagined. The same applies to
all these chazalim, when a person goes to a Bris, for
example, or is מעביר על מידותיו or any of the other ן''חזלי
that say one is clean. What it means is that it becomes a
very מסוגל time, that if one will do תשובה now it will be
much much easier for their תשובה to be נתקבל and
Hashem will help you more than regular. It is as if the
,got opened already and now one just needs to go in פתח
whereas someone else who wants to do תשובה that
doesn't have these מסוגל moments needs to put in a little
extra effort. He will need to work a little harder by
opening the door. But he too, will see help from Hashem
once he opens the door as it says מסייעים אותו - הבא ליטהר .
The same applies to יו"כ in ז.( מס' כריתות( there is a מחלוקת,
Rebbe and the חכמים if the day of יו"כ is מכפר even for
those who don't do תשובה and the חכמים hold it is only
for those who do Teshuva, and we pasken like the מכפר
The same applies to a chosson on the day of his .חכמים
wedding. One thing is definite there are no free-bees and
no short cuts to doing Teshuva. The only way to do
Teshuva is by doing Teshuva! Have a great Shabbos and
a super spiritually uplifting Elul Zman!
ג.יעירובין דף
REB AKIVA TEACHES US HOW TO BE A מחנך.
Here we see Reb Akiva said that the Halacha is like that
student, when in fact the actual halachaa limaisa
was not. Why did Reb Akiva do this? לא אמר
Which – רבי עקיבא אלא לחדד בה התלמידים
means that Reb Akiva did not want to
turn him away, to the contrary he
wanted to give him confidence to
continue to come up with more
chidushai Torah like this in the future.
Do you know who this talmid was? It
was none other than Rebbe Meir! One
of the greatest Tanaim that ever lived!
Rebbe Akiva teaches us good chinuch.
Our first reaction should never be, "What
your saying is incorrect or wrong". This will
turn the child or student away from putting in the
effort in the future. Rebbe Akiva teaches us that the way
to be successful is only through giving more confidence
in them and building them up – never knocking down
what they said. NEVER! This is the secret to successful
education. Never ח''ו say your s'vara is shtusim!
IT IS VERY WELL KNOWN that Rav Isser Zalmen
Meltzer זצוק''ל, who was a master michanech, instituted
Reb Akiva's mehalech in chinuch. When a student would
say something, even if it was 100% incorrect he would
never tell them that they were wrong. He would say
"Very good, what "Yankel" means to say is…"
RAV AVRAHAM TWERSKI IN HIS BOOK
"Generation to Generation" writes a similar idea. He
writes, "We had an instructor in Yeshiva who
would stimulate students to challenge him.
He clearly relished their arguments, and
when it was necessary to correct them,
he would try to preserve their sense of
triumph while pointing out their fallacy
or oversight in their reasoning. In his
broken English he would say, "Your
right! You a hundred prozent right!
Now I show where you wrong". Rav
Twersky explains "This was not at all
an internal contradiction. The student
had presented a very cogent argument and
that needed to be acknowledged. The fact that
the argument was not valid did not detract from his
achievement. This is exactly the method of Rebbe Akiva
we just mentioned, that is, to show recognition and value
in what the students say which will ultimately cause
them to want to try more and harder.
JUST AS A SIDE POINT ]מענין לענין[ at the Shabbos
table it is very נוגע this whole topic regarding one's
children and sometimes even regarding one spouse. It
could happen that the father asked an interesting Rav
Zilberstien question and the answer someone gives is
totally off target. Here it is the opportunity of the father
[or mother sometimes] to think of a way to build the
person and not make them feel like two cents.
Folding Tallis
1. The מג"א says that the מהרי"ל would fold his טלית on מוצ"ש
in order to be עוסק in a Mitzvah immediately after
Shabbos. [Some write that this is also a Segulah that
one's wife will have Arichas Yamim, and some say it is
also a Segulah for Shalom Bayis.]
Choshuv'e Guest
2. Just like if one would have a very Chashuva guest come
to his home, he would show his guest honor by walking
him out, so too it is with Shabbos. On מוצ"ש one should
give honor to the Shabbos by "walking it out" with a
that one סעודה It is by way of having this .סעודת מלוה מלכה
walks out the Shabbos, and thereby gives the Shabbos its
proper honor. [רש"י שבת דף קיט:ד"ה במוצאי]
Real Honor
3. Once we understand that the mindset of this סעודה is to
give honor to the Shabbos, it is also the proper thing that
one should have the table set with a nice tablecloth as
well as other nice items that beautify the table (such as
flowers) in order to give proper honor to the Shabbos.
[סק א', ובאר היטב, וכן מובא דבריו במשנ"ב 'ט"ז סימן ש]
Misconception
4. The reason one should eat מלוה מלכה is not to feed the לוז
bone. Rather, the reason to eat סעודת מלוה מלכה is to fulfill
the מצוה of giving honor to the Shabbos. [ ע' בגמ' שבת דף
[ע סימן ש סע' א''ושוקיט:
Living The Daf – Chinnuch
Halachos of "Melaveh Malka"
Please Note: To ensure the continuation of the Etz
Hachayim please consider sponsoring a future month for
350 shekel. Maser money can be used. Thank You!
For dedication opportunities call: 052-767-7018
To receive the weekly - email the word “subscribe” to
[email protected]. The Etz Hachayim thanks
all the great individuals that proofread, edited, and looked
over this week’s עץ החיים.
All about the Luz Bone
5. It is brought down from the קדמונים that in every person's
body there is a bone called the "לוז[ "נסכוי[ and when a
person dies this bone stays in the קבר until תחיית המתים,
and even after the other bones have rotted (if a person
needs to rot), this bone will always stay intact. Even if
one were to put this bone into a fire or into a grinder it
would not burn and it would not become ground, if one
tries to smash it with a hammer, it will not become
crushed. It will be from this bone that man will return to
the world by תחיית המתים. Lastly, this bone receives its
nourishment only from what a person eats on מוצ"ש.
(Which is all food that is eaten in honor of the .סעודת מצות
[ס"ק ב, ג, וגם משנ"ב שם ס"ק ב רע"פ הא"] (מלוה מלכה
Woman
6. Since women are included in the mitzvah of honoring the
Shabbos (just as much as men are), they are also
included in the mitzvah of having a סעודת מלוה מלכה to
honor the Shabbos.
[כל הפוסקים ומו"ר הגר"י ברקוביץ שליט"א וכן כתב]
Not Because of a Segulah
7. Both men and women should eat ה מלכהמלו because it's a
great mitzvah [some hold it is a proper חיוב] and not
because of סגולות. Yet if one needs a סגולה to give them
the push – so use the segulah as an incentive.
Leidah Kala
8. The Rebb'e Reb Elimelech said that if a woman is careful
to eat מלוה מלכה every לשם מצות סעודת מלוה מלכה ,מצו"ש,
and she also says it with her mouth that she is eating
לידה then she will merit a ,"לשם מצות סעודת מלוה מלכה"
Some say that this segulah is only for one who] .קלה
always eats מלוה מלכה, not only when she is expecting.]
The correct Intention
9. As mentioned previously, the reason women should eat
rather in order to give honor ,לידה קלה is not for ,מלוה מלכה
to the Holy day of Shabbos.
Story about - The Vilna Gaon
10. The wife of the Vilna Gaon accepted upon herself to fast
a specific amount of times. After Shabbos, she went to
sleep without eating מלוה מלכה because of her fast. When
the Gaon found out about it, he sent her a message that
all her fasts could not be מתקן the loss of even one מלוה
[תוספת מעשה רב אות ל"ט] .מלכה
Chinnuch
11. One should also be מחנך their family and children [who
have reached the age of chinuch] about the great mitzvah
of honoring the Shabbos by having a proper סעודת מלוה
.מלכה
When?
12. The best time to eat מלוה מלכה is after הבדלה, as close as
possible to the closing of Shabbos, since the farther away
from Shabbos one eats, the less noticeable it is that the
ע' במשנ"ב ס"ק ב ושעה"צ ) .is in honor of the Shabbos סעודה
(אות ק
No Appetite
13. However, if a person does not have any appetite right
after Shabbos, and he wishes to go learn Torah [for
example] and after eat לוה מלכהמ , it is perfectly ok to do
so. (שליט''א)הגרח"ק
Fourth Hour
14. It is a מצוה מן המובחר for a person to eat סעודת מלוה מלכה
before the fourth hour of the night )שעות זמניות(.
However, one should not push it off until after חצות.
פרק ס"ג סע' ה, וע' בלשון המשנ"ב ס"ק ב( ה)ששכ"
After Chatzos
15. If one did not manage to eat מלוה מלכה until after חצות,
they should still do so until עמוד השחר.
Some say that one could even] ]כך משמע במשנ"ב ס"ק ב[
have it in mind on Sunday, if they did not manage to eat
[מלוה מלכה
Story about - The Vilna Gaon - 2
16. One time, on מוצ"ש, the Gaon was sick and he threw up.
When he was feeling better he asked the people in his
presence if they could go check if it was still dark outside
so that he could eat a כזית of bread before the day began
to be מצות סעודת מלוה מלכה – מקיים.
On Yom Tov
17. According to the majority of poskim, there is no inyan or
mitzvah to eat מלוה מלכה after a יום טוב.
Seder Night on מוצ''ש
18. Some write that when פסח (or any Yom Tov) falls out on
in יו"ט סעודה in the מרבה קצת to be ענין there is an ,מוצ"ש
honor of מלכהמלוה )הגר"ח פלאגי( .
יו''כ and מוצ''ש
19. There is also a mitzvah to eat מלוה מלכה on מוצאי יו"כ that
was also שבת. [Poskim] (This can be done by having in
mind that the סעודה one is having on מוצאי יו"כ should also
be .לכבוד מלוה מלכה )
Milochoh Kavua
does not נשמה יתרה since a person's – על פי קבלה .20
completely leave them until after מלוה מלכה, one should
not get involved in מלאכה until after מלוה מלכה.
Therefore, הלכה למעשה, the משנ"ב paskens that it is the
proper thing that one should not be במלאכת קבעעוסק until
they are ס"ג פ' ששכ"ה וס"ק ב ב)משנ" .מקיים סעודת מלוה מלכה
סע' ה(