PHASE IV: Boundaries for Peers Photo by US Department of Education on Flickr.

PHASE IV:Boundaries for Peers

Photo by US Department of Education on Flickr

Boundaries for Peers

To engage HOPE Squad students in acknowledging,understanding and practicing setting

appropriate boundaries.

Copyright © Huds LLC

• Increase awareness of different types of boundaries.

• Understand how to set clear and appropriate boundaries.

• Gain skills necessary to maintain healthy boundaries with peers.


Objectives

Discussion• What are boundaries?

• How do you know if you have crossed someone's boundaries?

• How might it feel to have someone else cross your boundaries?

• Why should you establish clear boundaries as a HOPE Squad member?



Why Set Boundaries?

• Establishing physical, social and emotional boundaries help us to judge what is acceptable and unacceptable in our social interactions.

• Without boundaries, our lives and relationships would be chaotic. Establishing healthy boundaries allows people to feel secure, in control on a situation and safe.



Types of Boundaries

• Physical

• Emotional

• Social



Boundaries for PeersPhysical Boundaries • Physical boundaries include "personal space" or the

distance we feel comfortable allowing others to occupy as we communicate with them. The more we trust others the closer we allow them to physically approach us.

Example: Best friends tend to sit close, share almost anything, while classmates sit further away and share less personal space.



Boundaries for PeersEmotional boundaries • Emotional boundaries determine how much and

what personal information people share within a relationship. The more intimate the relationship, the more personal information we share.

Example: Best friends tell each other everything, while classmates may only talk about school matters.




Social Boundaries • Social boundaries are defined by the roles, norms

and customs which describe appropriate types of behavior.

• Laws govern social boundaries, preventing inappropriate behaviors for certain types of social interaction. For example, it is not appropriate to use the bathroom of the opposite sex.


How to Set Healthy Boundaries


Check your personal engine light

Ground yourself as preparation for maintaining boundaries

Notice the people and places that tend to drain you



Check Your Personal Engine Light

• Think about how you feel when you’re around someone who drains you and upsets you. How does this feel in your body? How does it feel in your mind? How does the presence of this person affect you?



Check Your Personal Engine Light

• Think of these feelings and sensations, and imagine that your body is like a car, with a dashboard full of warning lights.

• You’ve just identified what is called the “check engine light” for your personal boundary system. It’s a security system warning that your personal energy field has been breached, and you’re letting in stuff that isn’t yours.



Ground Yourself• Grounding is similar to the way a tree sinks its roots to stay

secure in a storm. It’s the first tool in creating healthy boundaries—nurturing a connection with ourselves, our centers.

• Our root system is both our anchor and our boundary system. It keeps us from being blown about in other people’s winds. It gives us a way to focus and still be ourselves to connect with our heart and our intuition. That’s what keeps us steady and connected and focused.



Ground Yourself

• There are as many ways to ground oneself. One way is to take five minutes to meditate and actually imagine your root system connecting into the earth, like a giant oak tree. Try different ways—you’ll find the one that works for you!



Notice the people and places that tend to drain you• Before entering those places or exposing yourself to those

people, take a few minutes to imagine blowing a bubble of protective energy around you. Think of it as a space that will only allow love and positivity inside it, deflecting anything else. Really see it and really feel the force of it around you. Then recognize what you need to do to maintain that space.

• These three steps will help you create and maintain healthy boundaries. Building boundaries is like any muscle or practice—the more you work with it, the better it serves you!

Review & Discussion

• What are boundaries?

• How do you know if you have crossed someone's boundaries?

• How might it feel to have someone else cross your boundaries?

• Why should you set clear limitations and expectations as a HOPE Squad member?



Boundaries for PeersScenario 1Jamaal, a HOPE Squad member, has been helping a student get through a difficult time by talking, texting and posting uplifting comments on Facebook. Recently the student starting calling him late at night needing to talk.

Jacob feels an obligation to help the student but the late night phone calls are leaving him feeling sluggish, tired and unable to focus on his school work.




• Have Jamaal’s boundaries been crossed?

• What should he do?

• How might he prevent this from happening again?

• How should he handle the situation if it happens again?

• Would it be appropriate to talk with a HOPE Squad advisor or trusted adult about this situation?

Discussion




Scenario 2

Sariah is new to HOPE Squads and has befriended a student who seems to not have any friends. She sits with the student during every lunch period.

A few weeks into school the student revealed that he has a crush on her and wants to be more than friends.



Boundaries for PeersDiscussion• Have Sariah’s boundaries been crossed?

• How can Sariah tell him she is not interested without hurting his feelings or making him feel embarrassed?

• What are some responses you could use to set healthy boundaries?

• How might you maintain healthy boundaries the next time you sit next to him during lunch?




Establishing clear limits and respecting others’ boundaries means understanding the differences between what is mine and what is someone else’s, what I have control over and what I don’t, and respecting others privacy, but not keeping deadly secrets.

BOUNDARIES = BALANCE


Discussion & Questions


PHASE IV: Boundaries for Peers Photo by US Department of Education on Flickr.

Documents

Transcript of PHASE IV: Boundaries for Peers Photo by US Department of Education on Flickr.