Pharmacology Notes II - Erowid · rWvuAA>aAc«k /JL\ riWvv^.->^ 51jn**\ v-J 37s\" (^M*...

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SASHA'S TENNESSEE EXPERIENCE

2.45 Lunch over. /.y<W5 backside! Child's face!

3.15 Completely out of control. About equal to 300 mi^es of LSD. I have cracked up. I

must control. Am scared shitless.... I must try not to go to sleep, as I don't dare lose

the visual conection to sanity. I see myself dying.

(SAW SELF AS OLD MAN DYING)

3.45 A nadir of nothingness. I am extremely scared. God help. The is the insanity

game.

3.50 OK again? Not OK again. Was the Vermeer scene out of the window real? Still

life?

4.20 This is stark insanity. My father, clear immediate, speaking to me in Russian,

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5.00 Recovering control. Know where I'm going. Not hungry.

5.40 Might almost consider venturing into the kitchen.

U>L-~ \j^ vc^wD

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do with my life? and was told, Simply be yourself. It was almost 1-1/2 hours.

I was feeling more discomfort than the last time, some stomach squeamishnessand some tension. £7iw *+»** felt full in the experience, and reported she didn'twant any more. ,

T decided to take a supplement to see how it would affect mydiscomfort. Cat 1 ?- ^as feeling good, but her vision was blurry with some troublefocusing. She decided to take more also. Then Cu» : =ti<\^ decided to join us, andwe all took 20 mg. more. Scon after, my discomfort faded away, dk^^'i blurryvision disappi eared , and we all went outside. Everything immediately sprang to

life, and was fantastically beautiful. G^tf^ was enjoying it immensely. We

went around looking at flowers, CUriThi^ showing me things I had never seen before.

I realized I had never really looked at jasmine before, as well as the incrediblybeautiful orange flowers. We sat in the patio, feeling great warmth and euphoria,and stayed there until the sun went down and it was too cold to be ouside. We

had marvelous communication, felt extremely close to each other, and felt quiteblessed for the marvelous experience. Food again tasted wonderful, and we kept

visiting pleasantly and talking very openly until 10:00 p.m., when my son and

his wife arrived and some other people and another party started lasting until

midnight. £TJv>-»Tf-i>i~ looked beautiful, and opened up significantly. She reprted the

following for the record:

For some time she has been taking mega-vitamin C and genseng tea, as well as3-4 grains of thyroid a day for several years. She stopped taking thyroid 2

days previously so as not to interfere with the experiment. Her pulse withoutthyroid is usually about 50; the thyroid brings it up to 72. She noticed that thisexperience increased her hearbeat to 80. At the height, I noticed my heart wasbeating faster also. She pot warm this time, but was not uncomfortable as withthe hot flashes of the time before. Her skin felt moist and soft. She reportedacuity of vision, hearing, smell, and taste, and no unpleasantness.

Page 87: Pharmacology Notes II - Erowid · rWvuAA>aAc«k /JL\ riWvv^.->^ 51jn**\ v-J 37s\" (^M* CDVAfc-TAiv«y. 514 S-m. J'y (*>)Cfe>^d-°-0l*:>2-4%\

PXPORT OF PESULTC V.'IT!

January 30, 1978. First experiment was January 28. This one wdoes levels, 100 mg. for C^[c^ and 140 for me.

3:00 p.m. Start.

3:10 I can feel slightly.

3:12 I can feel some euphoria.<£^ (<*_ says things are looking better.

3:20 I feel it coming on strongly; <T*"I«- reports slight tingling. -lizesapprehension ofher mother. Feels elevated pulse. Greens are very preen.

3:25 &r$t*. thinks she is going into phase II, 1/2 pleasant, 1/2 not.

3:28 (V'8- reports tingling, buzzing, unpleasant. I see her face distorted, butrealize this could become a judgement, so look up into the beautiful blue s

and am aware of a higher level.

3:35 Ot*^ says discomfort is tapering off. Fingers are tinglii .

3:50 Kot ecstatic. She is afraid of our being found out.

4:25 Discomfort has passed; GwW. is getting a glow

4:50 Ca„\*~- has trouble focussing. Glow comes and goes.

5: M0 Very relaxed. We have a very relaxed, enjoyable evening. Effects tarercff pently, leaving us in a very pleasant state, much more alive.

April 30, 1978. £nW<»- and I started at 1:00 p.m. with £/vm- +>' -"- . The girlseach take 100 mg., I take 120. This turns out to be the most pleasant of all

experiences for me, euphoria coming on and steadily rising to a high peak. The

exoerience was also totally pleasant for<^ji . Gwrr,-v begins to feel nauseous,

goes to the bathroom, and throws up. Feels a little better. She sits on sc ;.

has very hot flashes, very hot, uncomfortable. At peak, we go outside, I find

nature brilliantly alive and fantasctically beautiful, the most beautiful I have

ever seen it, with tremendous euphoria. The love amonc the three of us is custanc

We sit outside for a while, and have very open communication. Then £Kri*W*»-

the light is too bright, and we go inside. She is now feelinp good, but wants

to take it easy, not too much light. We converse very openly for several hour ,

with a marvelous feeling of closeness. We all come down very smoothly and gent

At peak time, no one wanted to take a supplement. V.'e visited free

til dark. We ate a deliscious soup C*~\*- had prepared and enioyed it enormous 1

- .

We continued to talk very enjoyable till bedtime, when Ckr\iil*^ departed. The

three of us had never felt closer.

June 9, 1978. The experiment with dT^fisfwu^ was repeated, start

with the same dose level. The session developed nicely, and nc one felt

discomfort. ^Ai-ritJat. preferred to sit with her back to the outside light,

locking at the softly lighted interior, until things beran to become t in

color. She then chose to withdraw and close her eyes and look ins: .

ZurlK's and my interest in going outside. We sat with her inside for 20

minutes, when she came out of it. She later told us she had asked, What

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Page 94: Pharmacology Notes II - Erowid · rWvuAA>aAc«k /JL\ riWvv^.->^ 51jn**\ v-J 37s\" (^M* CDVAfc-TAiv«y. 514 S-m. J'y (*>)Cfe>^d-°-0l*:>2-4%\

<L$~>-

Ke-Uy (w>»y^**0

Companions: <C^&- , c^.-^ , £i,'^i>«/tt

Data: June 17, 1976

Dosage: C&*&- Kelly <^r^| £('W*f*-10,

He ingested the substance somwlIt was a beautiful day, and a b<

Going down the hill toward the i

effects were negative, tensionBy the time we reached the stre<

the stream and tress were start

i

fairly uncomfortable.

after lOiOO A.M. and drove to McDonald's,tiful place for the experience.

er, I began to feel the effects. The firstd depression, and they continued to grow stronger,

the positive effects began to develop, and

to enhance in their beauty. However, I was

As we climbed up the hill, the experience grew in both dimensions. I became moreand acre uncomfortable, as though carrying a heavy load, with difficult breathing.

Yet everything was slowly but stea^'ij.y growing more beautiful.

The p*.av of the discomfort came around l:p.m., somewhat before the time thatci/^be-fk Found her "black hole, The discomfort was both physical and emotional.

By the time we started downhill, around «*:00 p.m., the beauty was far out-weighing

the discomfort, and the balance in the positive direction continued to grow the

rest of the day and evening. For a short time, just before starting down, I

moved into the ecstacy of celestial space. On the way down, the discomfort would

return in waves, but more and more I was able to get out of it. By the end of

our walk, I was enjoying the experience tremendously.

Driving home, I experienced the joy of driving with full perception, although

I did develop a little tension from the confinement of driving by the time we

got home. But driving was no problem, and very enjoyable.

Arrivi: home, with the stereo blasting, and &*:<<- and a friend there, I had such

a welling of emotion that I realised that I could not handle it. Fortunately,

&\c and ;nd left. Then I got a deep insight into m yself for my lack

of responsibility, and my childeish way of wallowing in emotions instead of

mastering > r\ t '.t .!+" 4J lecessary.

The evening was absolu

ing

gorgeous* I've never seen th

he only flaw was when!, This has ir.a r

erated to see end.

amicusas

Mo I

pe<

ow it

.ght. I kept g away

Ihrist, and the horrible things I w \g

I have never seen my se reredness so

:th learning. I got many insights into other

y tired. I would have loved to cancel my Father's

t lay around. But I knew I must master myself.I got up at

Day date in Santa Cruz, a

At fT*63T pel J- .'lit tO "C lift

before. * zombie, slowly and deliberately, I took each move

at a time. It was as though all previous hah

:chen, and started to clean up from the night

i

a m ^

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iS>}

Everything got done, and we left the houu -<•«,+ ~. *,everything got easier, and thl dr£ ™".ry

8£au?iful* * I^J '" th* «"•

and most enjoyable day, with much mJnirZ IL i I I 'X had a calm

. Peaceful.The drove home along the c2.?^^^S£'^-/J*?

1*JUttta 2-«ld -

although ^,l. experienced some illne.7f£« over^eaSng! ' ' 'en*rgi"d

.

The next morning I had a fine talk with <*<** after wMrh t .very unusual anxiety. But I was moat Hi.™.\! a a \exPerl«nced «°n>e

the anxiety with a carbohydrate lun^h !£~? /"? Creative'

l «"«»they do.

nyorate lunch, and learned why people often eat as

:felt the experience continue for many davs and f«»»i *k.+ *«. *most profound and deep learning experience! 'l hi,*£*?**

lt '* °ne ° f th«

^wirir1 Aieph_u •**- and wouid *«**»-* *» to

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3L%^

EXPERIENCE WITH-MDMA

Participants: <^u-l<*- > £>;c / K«Hy

Date: July 15,1978

A.M. , £*„!* a-d ^ic with 100 mg. each Kelh with 120.

Ito feel; K*/H *"vi (Wl*- have

11:00 All have developed nicely, everyone is enjoying the experience.£„,c begins to have a lot of insight about the way she is treating her body.She sees that she is abusing her body a lot with much alcohol, lack of sleep.Mentions a number of times.

11:35 We all decide to take booster: 6«i<ia^ (JWc • 20 mg.; £t(h uo mg.

:00 C**^*"-6 & lC feel lazy, £\-ta_feels non-verbal. I am enjoying theexperience very much. The extra amount completely wipes out any trace of tension

interference with complete enjoyment.

iching, and starting to come down. £a^ta f EFV/c-are very much in it. We have had a lot of excellent communication, with themarvelous freedom from defensiveness that seems to be a characteristic of thismaterial.

1:00 Jaw clenching gets quite intense for me, I presume as a result of the largerbooster. The others are o.k.

0(^u»- is aware of her teeth and gums; feels she is coming down. I am over

Ifine, as does 6,ie £vic has been sleepy, lying

with eyes closed, little conversation.

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x<*i1

Participants: <5\*i+<\~J tC<.Hr

Data: July 9, 1978

Dosaga: 20 rag. each, taken at 9:25 A.M.

but otherwise develop nic.lv It ^^!: it somewhat, with some tension.exp.ri.no. for the first llL imVTff.T !"" we ar« al°"« *» •»

A*, w. hsv.^.f

rf:.i^l

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ul thor<Nghiy cOTfrOTt "<h

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o

„y sEJr"* md : ~ •**• « **• ™d k". *? it- do.:„"lk

foiJh /J " 8Un " qui6t WariB-

We 8tay at the «dge and move b ack and

IcSet but 1^ excal£r vi8it

; *- enjoying natu™ ™* ™ch

-I ««» "t

quiet wavLdtvilnS^* "?pUl -Natu™ is beautiful in an enhanced by

? feel much^ / \"** ?° !° ent#rtaln ld«as of many different natures;

is "at an5oy^!I.and ^^ th" ** HMh

'f°r"^ althou«h <ha ^t,r

f;l^Sa

JUal

r:

y dr°E

8 ^ fi6comfoivt «<» *«in. to accept me more, which I senseis hard for her. We continue to talk quite freely.

Around 2 p.m., we go back to bed and lay there for 2 to 3 hours. We both

relt quite tired, and it was very peaceful to lie in bed. I begai to feeldWs :loseness very much, and enjoyed immensely our being together. While

m. T feel

wmuc* Mn?°ry enhancement, I felt I was aware of the enormous ootentialthis material has in this direction as two persons care more for each other."

^i!*-an

?Z greW in closen«ss through the rest of the day, and even on through

the week. We retired early, as we felt very tired. However, I felt fine thenext day and got a lot done without distraction. We felt the let-down fromthis experience was quite gentle and very pleasant and peaceful, although we felttired. The feeling of tiredness did not linger afterwards, as it does with mewith MDMA, and I was very alert and energetic for the following week. divi*- andI achieved a new closeness, so that we feel much more ewhen we are physically close, and have enjoyed en elthis experience very appreciabi-try it again, with a larger amount.

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,isuK,0 ^S

i*.

C-G.t C^. . £-tAi ^ each too'- first a

.-.usea, came about 4 hr. after ingestion. Gastro-intestinal discomfort

las* or to the onset xm

visual component ... by thj ear. that there wj

retinal activity and stationary objects undulated, pulsed, wove about, inhalated &

c some, th discomfort lasted throughout the experience; r led

with walking about or focused attention. Everyone except

£H. -recti on about 3_ 3i hrs. after initial dose. .Vith the correction

to about 2>-+. There se be a c

as a topical analgesia (I fc

r.ds and forearms;, hver. • -

rdinatic;., "here was

Lay s activities; .

'! a slit . i a; fcxi r we

o one experi 3 of 1 n,

oiousness, et< t of

:e was J went

ued an

:d exaggerated star

I had the feeling k that I

sufi icient

>ody without /compensito:

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)mA

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31

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REPORT OF EXPERIENCE With I

Date: September 8, 197P

Participants: ^eg ,£/.i*i^.lA.f»W>- • H»/'y a^ £fc/fr

Background: £r-«3 * 6"//"i«.£>«'k_ were visiting for two days, at the same time that7ftfi'*»*_ arrived for a visit. We spent a very pleasant day visiting, butnot feeling well. She reports that she was suffering a horrendous depress ;'

anxiety, and felt exhausted, -completely below the line. 6\>-^ noticed her state,and suggested that an KDKA experience would be helpful. All agreed, and T^t*-^had been hopeful that she would have an opportunity to repeat the experience,as she had gotten so much from her first one. So the exoeriiHpnt was conductedon the following afternoon, after the practical ratters of the arrangements werecompleted, including the weighing of the doses.

2:20 D.m. All ingest 120 m.g. of MDMA exceptkei'i , who started with 100 m. .

The experience developed nicely for everyone. It was a perfectly beautifulthe air nice and warm, bright and sunny, with marvelous visibility and the colo]

of fall showing on the mountains. We walked around the property, and responded tothe beauty of the surroundings. After an hour we returned to the house and satoutside on the deck. Ey this time, everyone had blossomed and opened up andwere feeling marvelous. fc*i'r became deeply relaxed, and all of her troublesmelted away. Everyone's faces became soft, young looking, ^nd took on a transclook. The experience seemed particularly rich and deep.

3:50 p.m. All took a supplement cf 40 m.g., including Ke'iT which is the largest

supplement she had taken. The experience continued to deepen for everyone, and

we had a marvelous time being together, sharing each other, and feelinr the depth

cf our experience. We felt a particular blessed group, as we all fit in so well

together. We could not get over how effective this agent is in permitting everyone

to drop their concerns, complete relax, and feel the deep warmth of their inner

bein"

.

5:00 p.m. (approximately) We moved inside to listen to music. I put on thi I

of the Grieg Lyric Pieces, which we listened to in its entirety (90 minutes).

were extremely at piece, the music was outstar. ' beautiful . to

aid us all in going much deeper within ourselves. We felt the experience tc

particularly profound . -frti<w^ left during the music to visit a neig

came back later. We ate lightly, soup and bread, and yet it seemed complete

adequate and satisfying. Then we li stened to 7af,«#i«- ?in" as she played the

guitar, and it seemed also very appropriate and maintained thegroup boi .

The afterglow the next day seemed particularly outstanding. Everyone felt

been a particularly moving experience, and it was difficult to separate. I<eii

was totally changed and had risen completely above the line, where she

since.

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REPORT OF EXPERIENCE V.'ITH '

<Date: Aupust 20, 1978.

!

[Participants: Wo//-, , -r^+/«M_*_ . *~-<j ~£e.k.4—

fStart: 9:50 A.M. All participants ingested 100 it. .

110:10 Everyone is beginning to feel effects.

410:30 All are feeling strongly. 7a^i<**^*_ feels that it hits her very suddenl .

;had started in the living room, where there is lots of light and excellent views"jout of the windows, and a lot of interesting things to look out around the ro^ .

'But when we stepped outside, it seemed to come on stronger.

took chairs down to sit under the cottonwood trees, which were most pleasant.-.A nice breeze carressed us and whispered in the trees. The scenery was magnificent.

first everything seemed too bright, but as we accomodated ourselves to the.brilliant sunshine, we began to observe the marvelous detail in the mountains-iacross the plains. The desert foliage was most interesting, and remarkably differentfrom plants on the Coast. ^»/'y felt heavily intoxicated. She had been extrerrtired and tense the night before, with appreciable pains in her neck and shoulders.

••{She felt the experience was a great tranquilizer, and her body felt numb.

jll:20 V.'e take supplements, fa. ft'A*~&a~* d Z.*k.<_ , 20 me., <jJoll, 10 mg. (the balance ofour supply). H*ih was feeling so heavily intoxicated that at first she thoughtshe would refuse the supolement, but when she learned the distribution of the

: remaining capsules, she opted for the 10 mg. (I had originally planned to take-the 10 and give the girls 20.)

7a.';<*»*~ sailed for 3 hours with the experience. At the end of three hours ( 12 : 5*

-she suddenly came out of the spontaneous experience, and began corticalizinp about

her work and life situations.

I experienced considerable enhancement of perception, but was not as completely intc

the experience as I have been with larger amounts. I experienced a great deal of

cortical activity, simular to what I am more used to with LSD, which I have never- before experienced with this compound. This was partly the result of our not

: too talkative, /»*•//* feeling very relaxed and T~i.i-<'*++- and myself enjoying our experience,

J

I keenly felt the absence of our former companions on this journc .

'After the supplement, we walked around the property for a couple of hours, feeli-

i very content, relaxed, and enjoying the beautv. At first we felt so relaxed we

-I didn't feel like walking, but once we started it was effortless. It felt v<

r>d to walk around and look at thinps.

12:30 We come back to the living room, all feeling very languid. We sat around

J and talked for a while, and then M>/'r and I took naps in which we slept very ce-

J fully, -fa-tia.*.*. read a while, and then took a nap.

I Later in the afternoon, we took showers, which was very refreshing, and had a deli

I ful visit with our neighbors, the Z/**.s For my birthday, they took us

I at their resaurant, where we had a late dinner. 7^/;«~*- ordered a steak, which

1 not sit too well with her, and that evening had an attack of diarrhea, and her

1 stomach still bothered her the next morning. Otherwise, everythin g was mo

enjoyed the Z—** very much, and were very content and peaceful._H»'h i

relaxed and no lonrer pushed by the compulsion to clean uP the house immediate .

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V\ L-

REPOPT OF EXPERIENCE

Date: October 21, 1978

Subjects: Oo-t**, &;*.*>-<!>efr> <^>-<>9 > ^^n/tj ^a*c/y, 3<*-st*«- , /<IeV/y

Ingested: Aleph U, 7 ir..g. for Cavi*-, P(a»ueJA* Sa*-di >8 mE> for //(*#r , 10 m.g.

for Sharon, Bob, and Sasha (I am sure of the 7 and 8 amounts, not so

sure if 10 is the right amount for the last 3,

)

Time: Experiment started at 10:00 A.M.

I personally felt in the best shape for this experiment than in a long time.

We drove to the hiking area we have dubbed lV*-/«As*% because it starts up behindthe house that <^*Jtif- built. As we got out of the car and started up the hill,I was feeling quite good. This was some 40 minutes after ingestion, I rememberedthat with my first Aleph 4 experiment, as soon as I felt any affects, I felt uncom-fortable, and the discomfort grew as the affects became stronger, along with the

enhanced perception. This time I felt euphoric with the first traces, and wasconfident that I would head up into a pleasant exprence, and reported so to Sasha.

As we climbed up the hill, 1 to 1-1/2 hours in, the euphoria grew, assdid the beautyof the surroundings.

Around noon, we settled into a little valley with a magnificent view of the

surrounding countryside, I was feelinp the effects much more strongly, and was

beginning to get a trace of discomfort, I was aware of the beauty o^ our surroundings,and noticed, some visual hallucinations when looking at homes as the hills acrossthe Vrilley, in the form of smoke trailing across. I lay back and looked up at the

sky, and the sky and clouds were incredibly beautiful. I sensed my Dain as myinability to accept such fantastic beauty— it was if it were more than I couldbear, I became aware of how my cybernetic system is accustomed to joy, and felt

hew Brand it was to let joy creep into the various corners of my being. I felt

Sasha' s greatness next to me, and how wonderful it was to have the ©opportunity for

such experiments,

I thcurht the experience was progressing nicely at this point, but unfortunatelythe discomfort continued to increase. It felt good to lay back and watch the

sky, and close my eyes. With eyes closed, I had some marvelous imaeery, which

most often took the form of various plastic shapes imbued with color. At timesthe colors reached intense brilliance of magnificent beauty. Yet nothing seenied

to relieve the tension that was building up, and continued to build up throughoutthe afternoon.

The rest of the afternoon, there were many experiences of great beauty, but I was

always pulled into the great pain I was experiencing, and could not get free of

it, I regretted asking for an additional m.g, of dosage, and felt I had too much,but saw nothing I could do but ride it through. The experience was so intense

I fait I could do little to direct it, but just flowed with it. It was hard to

gat my analytical mind to work. This showed up most strongly when I took a littlewalk aside with Sasha, and he computed the directions by the position of ourshadow. I could in no way majre my mind follow the reasoning to establish direction,

I simply went blank, and was astounded by my inability to think.

The affedts continued well into the evening. Going down the hill, I felt at

maximum intoxication, and at some moments had very beautiful experiences. They

would lift me out of my pain into intense enjoyment, then I would subside back into

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the pain. In my first aleph 4 experience, the late afternoon and evening wereglorious, but this time the tension held on right through the rest of the day, the •evening, and even through the night. It was not until the next day that I feltrelaxed, euphoric, and at peace.

The pain I felt all afternoon and evening was the rasult of experience the blackestside of my life. It seemed as though everything I had done was totally wrong, and

I could only see the baack side of everything: my marriage, my move to Lone Fine,my withdrawal from life. I experienced myself as completely empty, just being a

parasite on others, constantly taking and contributing very little. Such simple

acta as tending the fire and washing the dishes brought temporary relief from

•uch feelings. I felt all my major life decisions were wrong, and yet I could

aee no way out, as I had boxed myself in by reducing my income, and moved into

a eimple life style which I had no way to reverse. The thought that my activities

at Multi-Media were no longer needed and I must find another source cf income

waa extremely frightening. And the extreme irony was that I was supposed to be

a proponent of higher conseaounsness, and man's limitless abilities, and yst I

could find nothing but emptiness in myself. I wanted to crawl back to Lone Fine

and die.

During the night i churned and churned over these issues, and came to peace with

returning to Lone Pine and becoming a better partner to <5*+/*-t

if she really wished

to return with me. I could see that n:y dissatisfactions were my unwillingness

to face unsatisfactory sreas in myself, which I resolved to correct. Cne of the

main elements here was to stop using her unwillincness as an excuse for me not to

do things which I know in my heart should be done.

The following day was by and large a day cf great peace and warmth. It was marvelous

to be with the rest of the ercup, and I was still quite open to all o* the surrounding

baauty. Plunging into such activities as giving K<>j*-k a bath with total un-self-

eooaciousness was a great joy. I could rsee and appreciate the wonderful qualities

of all the other group members.

During the next few days, anxiety returned muif times, anc it took time to totally

wear off the tension. However, I began to learn ways to dissipate thn pain. This

ia primarily by instead of allowing myself to be blocked by the pain, to turn it

around and see what can be done. There would follow a flow of creative ideas of

many alternative cctions, which felt very pood to i.ee. I learned the importance

of once seeing what needed to be done, to move quickly, before letharpy set? in,

aa the moving ana acting releases new anergy.

Thu drive back to Lone Pine was a very beautiful one for both ^"^ and myself

waa like having another good experience, as we were both wide open.

much energy, and were not tired from the long drive. We both felt very good to

be home again, and we have much new energy and insight.

It

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REPORT OF EXPERIENCE WITH MDMA

Datsi November 11, 1978

Participants: Tktia**- , <?<**<*- , j^-^r

Dosage: Ck.* 1* 100 m.g.; "7X//-C**. and &//y 120 m.g.

Initial ingestion was at 12:40 p.m. The experience continued smoothly for all.

It was a cold and stormy day outside, so except for one brief interlude for

/<e/ly , the participants remained inside all day. For the first two hours, the

sun broke through the clouds so it was pleasant in the living room. When the

cloud cover became more solid, a fire was started and maintained through the

day and evening.

The affects weren't noticed too much at first. I notice only slightly after

1/2 hour; I wonder if I am getting somewhat immune. The mountains, with some

fresh snow and cloud cover, are very beautiful. After about 40 minutes, " become

aware that I am carrying a great burden. It is not unpleasant, but interferes with

the free-flowing intoxication often previously experienced. It gradually subsides

as I pay attention to the beauty around me.

2t20 p.m. All take 40 m.g. supplement.

Ws are all feeling very good, very relaxed. i<tMY <*~d %*.«-+'* s^ faces turn very soft

and very beautiful. We have very free, very open discussion. T&i+*+- is particularly

insightful and responsive, seeming to know exactly what we are saying ev en as we

forti the words.

I take the dogs outside. It is sharp and clear and cold. I am transported by the

beauty, particularly the wonder of the clouds and the sky. I feel the enormity

of this research project and its potential meaning to mankind, how marvelous It

is to be able to have such an experience, and I feel most grateful to be a participant

in such a glorious movement. I am aware of /*s^W <?-v and how marvelous it all

is.

I enjoy the outside beauty and freedom for about 20 minutes, then feel called to

rejoin the girls. It is extremely pleasant around the fire, feeling our closeness

and enloying the flames. <&*/+ feels very languid, called inward. >«*«— P lavs

and sings to us; it is most beautiful. I feel much energy, and readily get up

to get things others wish — tomato juice, later soup.

i

The experience trails off leaving us all very mellow. ™*~ ^LT^-dTd „we play a tape, and nap in front of the fire until we decide to retire at 9.00 p.m.

Th. next morning I feel light and energetic, quite different than I usuallyJJj*

after using this substance. We all feel good, and have a nice hike in th« brilliant

clear sunshine, but somewhat nippy air. We are all open to the outside b-.ty.

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j£w«_ revicus experiences with earlii cl ielic subst

oven an excellent subject. not had an e: 'v

- seve 1

:

-.ce the adverse reaction of /W^e,,

Neva- tried the experience once

and found it very uncomfortal . ' * her severe stomach pains for severlis was about 6-7 years ago. f^f-ia^o. has been a ?^rd subject

•"5

an < tA*o has Leer an excellent subject with other substance?, =

Lous to tr- . "'i vere e?«ev to part '

" e in the Christmas Day experiment,Lngfu] Christmas Eve -1 sr.

:7Sy>^«.A oc^e/ Zek^_ 120 . . 11 others 100 m.g.

10:4-5 Start.

<5w-&*- Ly, lcc£<<**^- waking, /Vei^»_ P little dizzy like diet controlviously, <2w~- feels slightly.

Ne***- lizzy, <3>«"'*<-- somew] at. Zef^e. reels it com . -

1

t pullS !U.

°:' r Heis*- f. vxrl; hard »<** to keep from fainting. Finds it hard to concentrate,to reel bett . veryone is it-

" ow everyone else is lighted u .

The eyes partic" look I' uid.

' take U0 m.g. supplem<

j^ience continues withI I rienc/ great irm d closeness. T,

'e stay c ? cseNtiso- does not feel like tside. Others go out in the bright

surshine bri F] , and enjoy the fresh air, but principally all want tc stay together,It fee" to be close, and talk freely. Everyone becomes quite relaxed.

ience tapers cf r very nicely tc a ' leasant afternoon and eveninj .

NQvtK- is aware that she r the experience. ~T^ee> dro: --? 1 the worries and

;erns of the "medical schoi '. 'e all feel much closer to each other.T^fia^^ 4 C«*^j2*_ have enjoyed the experience very much, and the softness and relaxat

Lt. 11 are grat r the opportunity to spend Christr-

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U"

MDMA.REPORT OF EXPERIMENT WITH MBBA

Date l November 25, 1975

Participants: y>c\»icr a.*-d d^i't>l>c>-+k. , ^cAe a^-c/ <?^42**—

Initial dosage: 100 m.g. for X<\»ieir , £jit>UH~a*d <5*~/e<. 120 m.g. for ZeKe

The chemical was infested at 10:50 A.M.

11:05 ^wa. reports petting tingly, e«*ited, I feel some euphoria

11 j 23 I feel intoxicated, much more than in recent experiments

11:25 /<tw€^- feels real strong. (jr-Lhott^ feels nothing, is worried that it won't

work because she takes so many different drugs that she is refractory, and will need

a lot more.

Ilt35 &'&x><- finally feels it strongly. She lies down on the floor, is tingly.

Her face is quite drawn; she experiences many conflicts. Che doesn't want to discuss

in front of . /i^" e ^ , Cw*_ encourages her to move out to the back patio in the sun,

and stays with her. /i^/V" and I go for a walk out front.

It had been -totally overcast and rainy all week, but today was a beautiful, warm

sunny da> , with fascinating clouds in the sky. df.tec**. is very happy to have <3w«.

to talk to, and has much confidence in her, after several days of their visiting

together.

I an quite impressed the way AW-"- has expanded. I feel him strongly, it a very

euphoric vay. He looks yourrer, relaxed, he feels good. He walk through the

unusually beautiful neighborhood he lives in — beautiful homes set well back with

lots of separation, beautifully landscaped with many trees and bushes. The area

was orifinally 8 beaautiful pine forest. There are few areas so nice in the country,

and this was a particularly beautiful day. >6 "''«*- notices the beauty, and comments

how he never allows himself to enjoy a day like this, but bogs himself down with

work. He feels two very strong weve of drug action, not unpleasant but not pleasant,

but overwhelming. They pass, leaving him feeling good after the wave. He notices

that his back, which has been bothering him for several months, does not hurt as

much, and we wlalk much further than would ordinarily be ccmfortable for him.

12:20 Supplement time. We return to the girls, fai/i'er does not want the supplement,

but all else take 40 m.g. <^^^oti~- has become to come out of the deep state of

conflict she was in, and notices how young and relaxed /+>"*r looks, and how bright

his eyes are, without their usual glaze. She asks us to leave her with &'<"- again,

and /*•*'*" and I continue our walk. I am having a glorious experience, feeling

very good with y^<er , and the weight of any past differences dropped away. I am

pleased he is having such an excellent reaction, since he approached the experiment

with many reservations.

The experiment trails off nicely, with good feelings all around, ^'ei- gets hungry

and .nakes himself a sandwich. He wants to watch a football game on TV that he had

previously set himself up for. I join the girls fcr relaxed discussion.

Later in the evening, we go out to eat ex a cafateria, having a nice, relaxed evening.

Unfortunately, X<?^/e*- quickly returns to some of bis established routines.

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3\\

REFOFT <">r rypFpjr^or ujtu «/n;-c

Data: January 25, 1979

Participants: ^rga^a^d ~Ze.k-z_

Dosage: (V&- 100 m.g,, ~Zek& 120 m.g.

Start: 8:38 A.M.

8:50: I fael slightly. Am more aware of internal processes with the smaller group.

9:00: C^-ia. reports that eyes are out of focus. This has been * c-mTn reaction.I wonder if the relaxing effect of the chemical isn't relaxing her eyes. I ask herto try her glasses. She sees much better with them.

9:05: 1 feel a stronger wave.

b:G/: Cc&k. begins to feel effect— a lightness, about to drift

9:15: (3*'0«- gpea tc the bathrooa for the 3rd time. Feels cleansed, pureed, relaxed.

?:17: I feel a little diszy. The Jehov^'s Wittness representative drives ud.

Ca.r£*. handle! her nicely and she leaves,

9:40: we ^re deeply intc the exnerience, C2»#-43* feels verv Introspective, =ind ; a

quiet. I lock outside at the clouds, the beautiful nountsins. I find the quiet

leads to a far different lcind of experience, ':uc' , more like LSD. f ^«?e much imagery

and great beauty in the clou'- , an e* erience profound reflliz^ti^n'-

..

10:10: lie Loth take ^0 m.g. supplement.

10:20: I go outside, bundlen uo v/all for the cold. It is im- clear cold dey, with

beautiful clouds banging over the mountains, partly scptte^eH, It la like stepping

into v whole new world. Evervthin? Lights uo, and everything is profoundly beautiful.

I fe*l the very deep love I have for this country.

Back inside, (3*^ and I ha^e a ouiet, relaxed time, ^he is verv aoft and beautiful,

and reports the same fcr me. Mostly we spend the time in ciuiet, listen inp to music.

We have a discussion about teamwork. The afternoon oasses surori sinply - ''c'-1 ".

3:00 p.m. We are enjoying the experience enormously, feel in? exf-emelv re*=xe J,

•uphoric, and renewedr I feel the intoxication is over, an,J quite no^i, yet unusually

good and open, and my body very light. We drive to town to ir.pil some Letters *hat

irust go out in the afternoon mail. The ride is most enjoyable, and the scenery and

change of view is marvelous. Back home, a walk with the dogs fin^* Ttsi* body e> trembly

light and energetic.

«*i30t We watch sunset approaching, listening to Ravel's Daphne and Chloe. We stand

at the dining room French door entranced. The setting sun lights up the clouds ever

the Itsi't's , The cloud formations and the music are simply superb. One hugecloud

looka like the spaceship from "Close Encounters . . .", with all of the feelir:,;s

of other, more intelligent life. We are spellbound until the music ends. A perfect

ending for a perfect day.

A

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"3>v~b

REPOR* of IXFERIENCE WITH 2-CD

This report is to record some of the highlights of ny first experience with thi

sub8tr>nre.

I fogested 25 rr.e. on February 9, 1979, in the company of *)•// y - c^-*! *~^ f5K\*.b^t.

*/W^(o. o*~d 5^nvJ>t ' ~3*-lce_^ and Sa^. 1 ->.

The experience r*-?veloped very nicely and smoothly, and remained ^n except ionaxly

rmo^ 4-1' experience throughout the flay* It was not ? particularly Intense experienctg

j" t - 3oubt trouJ " '" ave been move so at a Little ' Lghc Level,as reported

v... ..<-\ fTSt However, it was a very enjoyable experien< ~, aiid Ir<.-lt mud closeness

pj, 4 r ,1 v.-t'- with all the others,

h*»#ably ~ l' most lrai tic effects I noticed -X several houi - nc*

let of very !ari bad ;

. Tl darl -.. a! Lightest Ln a— t] I hi nev e v i Fore, of very subtle differencs oc shading^y „» ,•-.-... -j.^..,* .- ' that the paints' ou] er]

' al> com ate fe< Bid

r*orTir> ' "' "-' 5, -~-r rt .

J l" -| 'lie

*„,,». c ^r +j• .- •

• than 'le '

| -; ch are

son obvious.

Wu»t - - iceable "r

r substance Is th« vgow.-\

| ,... •

.

,i . : .

-.. -j

Faction, eace, eternal

•twngth t] DIOS1 - rarding. Tut- . thli Feelinj lastc sveral

r the s«»xt three , .te oi bein]

thinj- to !o, almost i -r -- tl be accomplished in the t: , I remajMi

t, i-.v.Z woi ' ' easy grace that be! Led the i.

Thursday, i• Jrive tc I les, U<»ll> an. "

I n feJt i - oi

- r•

. :. . irience. At oi Int I i

-rv-e th ar on the day of the experience!) thst 1 I to try 1 it in

writ Jr. -

.

At th« meeting T attended cr Friday, I felt that the Inner peace si that

I sad gained cc * ributed: oyr.ent of the .'---ion

J en^c--?1

tntc witl various participants.

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3\4

Date: February 19, 1979REPORT OF MDMA EXPERIENCE

Participant-: Ti<f<*>»•«- - ^2*.-^ > *—<L tK-c/'v

Dosage: ^V'«-, 100 mg. T^**^ and /fee//y , 120 m.g.

Background: 7Si//***. has been run down since Christmas, dropping in and out of

the flue, with low energy, and with a raspy throat that has affected her throat

and prevented her from singing (she is an excellent singer, accompanying herlself

on the guitar). She asked for an experience, so we set up this day in her apartment

! Berke/^Y-

Start: 11:30 A.M.

111*4: (fa*-/£». is beginning to feel.

J2:CP Kt/hi <**<* £<**4<^. are feeling it more strongly. "^*~*- is cold,

12:03 notice that the three brightly colored Mexican finger paintings on the

wail are cominp to life very vividly. After looking at the paintings, /<•*/<<***_

feels strongly hit. I feel woozy, We notice that compared to the finger paintings,

tne Indian sand paintings next to them appear' stiff and mechanical.

L2l21. lit***- and I feel cold and put on more clothing. Cir&x. feels ^ood being

cold. It is i cloudy day outside. Tk/,i,^% living cooir has a dark ro^c*. wall

paper. - find it rettinp very bright and very attractive. I doubt if I willever

sec I U tain. I am intensely intoxicated, probably the deepest ever. Everyone's

skin has softened. CewJa. a~~d -fct.'<*^*- look radiar.t and beautiful. We all fee?

glori< ; .

12: "5. fhe sun has broken through the clouds. We step out on the little balcony,

into the sunshine, and observe the plants -%/,'«»+- is growing. It is beautiful and all

outside. The clouds are striking, I see intense, brilliant white light in the clouds

that is very elevating,

^:C0. All take ~C m.g. supplement.

1:20. CqtPa. reports that the supplement has hit her stronger than the first amount.

Tnis nay be because of her initial lower dose. She things she may start with more

next time. Everything is dancinp. She has trouble focusing, SKe is extremelyrelaxed. She notices some internal carting,

1:30, We are all extremely relaxed and euphoric, 7Sy&*«. sings to us. She plays

and sings perfectly, Fer voice is angelic, with no trace of the earlier raspiness.

This is true in her speech also. Time passes rapidly, unnoticed.

3:00, We go for a walk in the neighborhood. It is beautiful outside, and we deeply

appreciate the beautiful shrubbery and trees, and the well-kept homes,

3:40, Back in the e«# apartment, leiti****- feels too tired to sing more. We put on

Don Quixote, by Richard Strauss. The music is beautiful. Everyone feels very relaxed,

and Tifta**. ou*4 dt~&>- feel tired, Cet-Q*. still reports eye darting. All have experiencedsome slight jaw clenching, but it passes quickly,

5:30, After eating (I am ve.y hungry, mttrm -o than previously), we drive up PacificAvenue high up on the mountain, with a marvelous view overlooking <CahcJ^d and the Valley.

ve

We return for a quiet, restful evening. Tseffr***— is aware how she has been pushing

herself and not getting enough rest. We ill feel renewed.

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1\U

EXPERIMENT WITH 2-CD

Date: March 20, 1979

Subjects: 2e^ <-^c< -riw //>r

Dosage: 25 m,g.

R:^5 A.M.: Ingestion, on an empty stomach. The previous day had been quite stormy,

with snow and rain. This morning it seemed to be clearing, but low-lying clouds

moved in, and it was cold outside.

9:25: j^*//"i begins to notice. We have been listening to Willi*.')' piano recording

(the local valley pianist), and it is beautiful. I have felt somewhat, and have

hint"} enjoying the beautiful clouds. I notice I am alittle dizzy when I stand up.

Jean turns off the heatetfr

9:32: ^»Hi is very aware of her body. It is strange, totally different than previous

time with the group. Things are coming to life, I fee naseau, but it passes quickly,

9:3B: I am cold, even with the heater back on, M//y

10:03: tJ»ih is uncomfortable. We both feel much more impact from the chemical than

previous time, I feel quite intoxicated,

10:30: We go outside. It is chilly, but the sun peaks through the clouds to warm

us. It is perfectly beautiful outside. Fortunately, no wind. Everything is crystal

clear, the mountains are covered with fresh snow, beautiful clouds hang over the

mountain. We notice that spring is bursting out everywhere, with wonderful shades

of green everywhere as new plant life appears, and new grass is growing in the meadow.

We notice the rocks and plants in great detail. We have a marvelous walk down to

the stream, where I show Uoih a pool I discovered the day before where we might grow

trout. We enjoy watching the stream, and the marvelous outdoors until almost noon.

12:00: It has clouded over, and gotten colder. We notice the tremendous emptiness

of our stomachs, and go back to the house to eat. I feel much energy running, but

a slight upset to my stomach. We seem to have passed the peak, with the intoxication

having passed, but otherwise we are feeling marvelous. Scrambled epps taste outstanding.

We are both famished. All my stomach discomfort disappears after eating. Holjy

felt a slight stomach discomfort after eating, and after a while it went away.

12:30 - 1:30 We still, listening to the piano Susie* which seems especially fitting,

Iren is very much with us. We both feel a little tired, and enjoy lying down listening

to the music. It is most peaceful and euphoric.

1:35 I feel a marvelous afterglow developing. We go for a stroll, and visit our new

neighbor who is constructing his house. We wander about the property, enjoying the

marvelous glow, which continues the rest of the day. We have a splendidly relaxed

afternoon and evening. At night we enjoy quietly reading in front of the fire.

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nil 13, 1979

: All take 120 r . .

"TJ,.^£> •f4»'K «~-d )<lel(Y

i+:12 . . Start

ilaration as does^oll^ . W°'^ 'getting; a buzz on."

4:54 After initial rush, it has been quiet.

stai

I notice the effect much more when I

intoxicated, as isW#lW- -Mol/V notices heightening of perception,

: everything getting very colorful. Everyone is beginning to feel deep" .

Lveryone looks young and soft, and everyone feels very warm and close feelings for

other, which are expressed. -TecH*i-«. oi»«<f ~tU*j> feel particular close, and are

rossed with each other. We walk outside, where it is particularly alive and beauti-

il. ?e alll eling wonderful. &>lh comments that 120 m.g. is much better

than 100 m.g», which has been her starting doese up to now, I notice a great beauty

in the Arizona cypress which had never particularly struck me before.

all take 40 m.g. supplement. TWo asks for music, and we play W/lie'S records,

ch seem particularly appropriate for this experience. We share much love and

heightened feeling. Everyone feels so alive and relaxed and how wonderful it is to

re this experience together.

7:04 "7^.fi<»K*_ remarks that the experience was a long time coming on for her, althr:

she was relaxed and tranquil. With the supplement she kept getting higher an^1 higher.

We speculate that this might have been because she was so tired and got so little

s]eer for a couple c s, after being very busy in Mexico and coming right \r> here

th no time to rest. She has noticed for the last 10 minutes a strobe-light effect.

Is this the same as eye-dart in

8:30 We spend more time outside enioving the marvelous beauty of the moonlight,

9:47 After a most relaxed and enjoyable evening, we finally get around to eatir^.- taste - srful.

A -T

-—

«

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132.X

. -• -- "

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This is a summary cf my experience after ingesting 100 m.g. of MDOH on April 2P,

9, in the company of Courier, MasctJ*. a^d $Vc/y , ^i^^b^^o^s C^^i <*~d 8>"v*r and Sasha.

The intoxication came on fairly rapidly. In about 30 minutes, I was intensely intoxicated,and pore deeply than with

r .It was a glorious feeling, and all the other members"he group looked superb. Everyone shown with a marvelous glow, particularly Sasha.

Ctult^l coked particularly beautiful as I observed pher during the day.

The presence of all members of the group was quite warm, and beauty everywhere wasenhai . The house seemed very special, and a perfect setting for the experiment.Ever thii \ in the house seemed to have been very tastefully selected, and fit inbeautifully. ^wttfa. a~d <,*^dr't personality and poodness were reflected in their

ice of ornaments and decorations.

Outside the sunshine was marvelous, and all was lush with the beauty of growinghe view of the bay was inspirinp, the sky and clouds were beautiful and

peaceful.

th eyes closed, it felt marvelous, and it was quite appealing to pursue innerexperience. However, because I had seen so little of the others in past weeks, I

erred not to withdraw, but to stay in contact.

I did notice an interna] dryness which was characteristic o QMA, I had a similarFficulty in urinating, but not as intense as with

•' - ternoon, when I walked barefoot on concrete, I was amazed to feel the

concrete as soft and textured. I had never before experienced such liveness throifeet. This has stayed with me to a good extent.

Our walk around the block with /tytx*/'3- <**-<'' S*m/t was a marvelous experience. Everythingrich and beautiful, and conversation sc pleasant and easy, although drink-'

in the beauty limited conversation.

The experience held on through the eveninp. By dark, there was a little tension developingilsr to the after-effect of amphetemine. It would have been welcome to lie on the

nd listen to music and relax, but pr?ir. I did not want to ?ive ud the contactwith the others.

I drove home, and the early nart of the drive was beautiful, and flowed effortlessly.sver, by the time we got back, I was beginning to feel tired, and welcomed the-rtunity to po to bed. Sleep was numb and dreamless.

The next morning, I felt extremely detached and tired, like a zombie, very much likemorning after my first Aleph-4 experience. Iwas extremely content end relaxed,

nothin.r bothered me, but activity was an effort. I did yard work, having to restfrequently, but enjoying it immensely. That night at a party I had a wonderful time,

felt very free. However, for the next 3 days at work, I felt washed out, and hada hard tire concentrating on my work. I would have loved to flake cut in the sun.

energy returned, and I felt better than ever — peaceful, calm, detached,fhis has continued to the oresent. Our drive back tc J^A-t^e-, was beautiful.

-

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"Yes, she's here, but in an altered state of awareness."

]

"/ hearyou'vebecomesomethingof ascientific

wizard.

"

Page 159: Pharmacology Notes II - Erowid · rWvuAA>aAc«k /JL\ riWvv^.->^ 51jn**\ v-J 37s\" (^M* CDVAfc-TAiv«y. 514 S-m. J'y (*>)Cfe>^d-°-0l*:>2-4%\

HERMAN

I guess we should have tried it on the rats

first.

^U/VAJ2AA^I

Saturday Review/ February 1982

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hi. —**,,

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