Persuasion

The art of influencing people

Ethos, Pathos, Logos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4tTugqBkJU&feature=related

Leonardo da vinci observed that the average person:

“looks without seeing , listens without hearing,touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness… and talks without thinking”

Does that sound like a fair assessment of most of the human race (or YOU) ?

Certainly !!

Here goes an example :

Inspector (to hotel clerk at reception ):

‘Does your dog bite ?’Hotel Clerk : ‘No.’Inspector (to dog): ‘Nice Doggie’…Dog bites inspector…

Inspector : ‘A-aaaagh … I thought you said it didn’t bite’Hotel Clerk : ‘That’s not my dog.’

Effective listening

“Man Inability to communicate is a result of his failure to listen effectively, skillfully and with understanding to another person”

Difference between hearing and listening

Hearing : it’s a sensory activity, physiological process in which auditory connections transmits information to the brain through ears.

Listening : interpreting, understanding, and deriving a meaning from what has been said.

I'm Listening! Wait, What Did You Say?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO-a-Yz4xA8&feature=related

Running ‘tapes’ in your headthrough meetings

Running tapes while talking to people !

Tests has shown that

We talk between 120 and 150 per minutes.

we think at the rate of 600-800 words per minute.

So we think much faster Than we speak

How to LISTEN productively Remove all distractions from your mind to concentrate with the speaker.

Distraction comes fromYour thoughts, senses and Emotions and surroundings.

Don’t interrupt: cause thoughts formulate faster than speech.

Don’t finish the other person’s sentence cause it leads to misunderstood conclusions

Offering advice too soon trying to help someone.

Attention pleaseWife : ‘you will mow the loan for me tomorrow, won’t you?’

Husband : ‘what ? Oh yes, yes.’

Wife : ‘we’ve got to get to the theatre by seven, so we ought to leave now’

Husband : ‘yes. OK, OK’

Wife : ‘I was going to wear this dress – do you think it makes me look fat?’

Husband : ‘yes, yes’

Wife : ‘What ?’

Husband : ’what ? No I mean no. ’

Wife : ‘You just said yes to everything. If you’d unglue that remote from your hand … you don’t listen to anything I say.’

Keeping audience’s attention is probably the bedrock of any successful conversation or meeting

When attention is wavering you have to pick and look for signs, you can tell by person’s eyes, voice and their expressions whether their mind is elsewhere

And when you do; Its better to stop

No attention = no communication = no result

ATTEN

TIO

N C

UR

VE Typical attention, the audience pays to an average

presentation

People are always losing the thread of a conversation (we’re all human !) and need something explained again. But they won’t admit it.for many reasons :

1. They don’t want to seem impolite.2. They don’t want to look stupid.3. They feel guilty for letting their minds

wander4. They’ve decided that they are not

interested and they ‘switch off’5. They don’t want to prolong conversation

cause they have a lot to do

What to do !!

When you pick the signs of distraction through voice or eyesREPEAT what you have said

FACT : Research shows continually that people take in about only 40 per cent of what they hear (without interruptions)

So by recapping you are helping the other person to crystallize all benefits that you’ve been discussing.

Say what you are going to say

Say it

Say what you said

THE GOLDEN RULE

Mind your own body language:When talking to someone you are sending a message verbally and non-verbally Feelings are displayed better by non-verbal messagesSender is the encoderReceiver is the decoder

Studies carried out by Edward De Bono have shown that 90 per cent of error in thinking is due to error in perception

If you change your perception; you can change your emotion and it leads to new ideas and insight

Eye Contact

We tend to use eye contact for feedback purposes to make the speaker aware that we are listening to them

How eye contact have a positive effect:1. It shows respect2. It shows you are attentive3. Initiate a communication between two people4. Tremendous influencer when trying to persuade

somebody to buy your point of view or product.

Avoid negative body language signals:

Crossed arms: you see this defensive stand in the trains,

coffee bars, lifts, and meetings(disagree)

when you see the crossed arms position it should alert you to take an action.

to change the closed position to and open position because it can change emotions

Example

The interviewee wants to create an open body position on the other side so he says : Could I just show you this artwork from … ?

Make sure your body is talking the right language and always smile

Memory Magic

Remembering names :

‘I hope you enjoy your meal, Miss …’

‘any problems with the toaster Miss … please bring it back to us’

‘how would you like the money Mr. …’

Remembering names appears to be the biggest problem for most people specially in the working world !!

Why do we forget names !!

1. Its an interest problem-you weren’t interested enough to fully catch the person’s name and store it

2. You were distracted at the time of the introduction because your mind was somewhere else

Rule1

Make sure that you hear the name (no visual distraction) and don’t ever feel embarrassed admitting that you didn’t hear the name

Rule2

if you hear a name, make sure you put it to the right face.

Sharpen your memory

Sharpen your memory and you’ll see the magic it helps to avoid misunderstanding in work and life in general

It helps create rapport and vital persuasion skills

7 essential skills necessary to win the hearts and minds

1. Good listening skills

2. how to hold attention

3. Appreciation of body language.

4. Memory skills

5. Knowledge of the impact of words (measure twice-cut once)

6. Skills with the telephone

7. Negotiation skills

Ladder Approach

1- Look: look and use your body language to show interest in the subject.

2- Ask : Ask questions and make relevant comments.

3- Don’t interrupt.

4- Don’t change the subject.

5- Emotions should be kept in control.

6- Respond properly to words

7- Slow down your thoughts and concentrate on the speaker.

Thought of the Day

If dealing with life is like a game of cards Then dealing with people is like a game of poker.

Some useful links

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5N49iBT2X8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4tTugqBkJU&feature=player_embedded#! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQtJk_rNHmg&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO-a-Yz4xA8&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENkwUBPhMJw

Thank you for listening